Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



RULES:

1) You do not need to include a source, but if someone calls you on a post, you will need to provide one.

2) Wikipedia is an acceptable source! This is not a thesis paper. However, Wikipedia is banned in academic circles for a reason, so if someone can contest you, you lose... points? You lose points.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

I will start:

After the end of his presidency, Ronald Reagan revealed a long-standing fantasy of cramming Mikhail Gorbachev into a helicopter for the express purpose of flying him around America, pointing at things Reagan thought were neat.

Speaking of presidents, Ulysses S. Grant was a never-nude; he used to brag that no one had seen him naked in years, save for his wife, since West Point.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Railing Kill
Nov 14, 2008

Computer:
Erase this entire post.

I'm in:

Genghis Khan, who build the world's largest land empire in under twenty years largely by revolutionizing cavalry tactics, died just falling off his horse while nothing important was going on.

Two of the USSR's Premiers, Stalin and Krustchev, weren't Russian. Stalin was Georgian and Krustchev was Ukrainian. Both were lampooned for their accents in Russia. Presumably they were lampoon very, very quietly.

Percy Shelley died young when he vanished at sea. The only other person on the boat with him was a friend of his, whose wife he was loving.

Christopher Marlowe, notorious playwright and close friend of William Shakespeare, was killed in an otherwise benign bar fight by catching a wooden stool to the dome. It has since been discovered that he was a spy for the Catholic Church in Elizabeth I's court, and that an enemy agent had discovered this and took the bar brawl as a chance to assassinate him. (The other agent apparently adhered to the Daniel Craig school of spycraft in how he brutally murdered Marlowe with a blunt object that was lying around.)

Edit: Also, in before someone mentions Wojtek. Wait... gently caress.

Railing Kill has a new favorite as of 11:54 on Nov 4, 2015

ColtMcAsskick
Nov 7, 2010


According to Herodotus the Scythians used to get super baked at funerals by burning cannabis seeds in their tents.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008





Some small time ruler in central asia killed a peaceful trade caravan of mongolians. Genghis Khan had the guy captured alive and executed him by pouring molten silver into his eyes.

twoday
May 4, 2005




- The colony of New France was not completely sold during the Louisiana purchase, and part of North America is still under French control.

- The Azores were an outpost of the Carthagian Empire.

twoday has a new favorite as of 13:11 on Nov 4, 2015

System Metternich
Feb 28, 2010

But what did he mean by that?



Some Catholic Church fun facts off the top of my head:

The high point for clerical influence on society (not necessarily politics) probably wasn't the Middle Ages, but for the Catholic Church the Baroque. You can see this with simple statistics: Depending on where you were in Europe, the percentage of clergy in the population could go from 0,2% (Northern and Eastern parts of the Austrian monarchy) and 2-3% (most of Italy). In some cities in Tuscany, more than 10% of the population was clergy!

Pope Gregory XVI (reg. 1831-1846) was an ultra-reactionary who opposed gas lighting and railways, seeing them as satanic harbingers of liberalism and modernism. On the other hand, he was a great supporter of art and archaeology, and the last non-bishop to be elected Pope (and consequently being ordained bishop after his election).

Teodolfo Mertel (1806-1899) was the last cardinal who never even was ordained a priest (this was made impossible by the new Code of Canon Law promulgated in 1917)

Until the early 20th century, various Catholic monarchs claimed the prerogative to "suggest" (i.e. appoint) so-called "crown-cardinals" who were supposed to represent the monarchs' interest in the college of cardinals, especially during the conclave which elects new popes.

Three Catholic monarchies (France, Spain and the Holy Roman Empire) claimed for themselves the right to veto any candidate brought forth during a conclave. Though never officially recognised by the Church, such a veto still carried heavy political significance. The last time this right was actually used was by the Austria-Hungarian emperor Francis Joseph in 1903. Poppe Pius X, who instead emerged out of the conclave as Pope, banned this practice under threat of excommunication shortly afterwards.

For medieval and early modern Catholics, the baptism was a necessary requirement to be able to enter heaven after death. This opened up some problems, especially in the case of stillborn children or infants who died before receiving this sacrament (infant mortality was much, much higher than it is today). For most Catholics it was the usual practice to baptise children at the very latest three days after their birth, far into the 20th century. To ensure that as many children as possibly could enter heaven, it was even common for midwives to baptise endangered children immediately after birth or, in some cases, even when they were still in utero (laypeople could and still can baptise others when those are in grave dangers of dying soon). For those babies who still didn't make it, there was still the possibility of a miracle occuring in sme chapels and churches where dead infants were said to be revived for a short time - just enough to quickly baptise them. Most of those altars where this was possible were found in France and Central Europa, but none in Italy and Spain/Portugal. Not all of the dead children benefitted from this miracle (it was probably a reddening of the cheeks due to the altar candles or similar) and had to be buried outside of a church's graveyard, as those were reserved for the baptised. Many could be baptised though, to the great relief of their parents. Many of the clergy, especially the other echelons, staunchly resisted this practice and repeatedly forbade it, but throughout the Late Middle Ages and then again in the Baroque era, tens of thousands of dead infants could be "revived" and therefore baptised. Some cases of that are reported even into the 20th century.

Catholic theologians speculated about the existence of a "limbo of infants" for a long time - those children who died before being baptised were said to go there. It was never officially made to dogma, however. In 2007, Pope Benedict XVI authorised the publication of a theological paper which stated that their souls probably go to heaven directly. Media reports of the Pope "closing Limbo" are nonsensical, though, as the Catholic Church's position was and still is that you cannot say anything for certain concerning the infants' fate after death.

And some non-ecclesiastical ones:

During the Middle Ages and into the Early Modern Era, doctorate students at the University of Salamanca in Spain were supposed to meditate in the university's chapel for the entire night before their final exam without food and drink. After passing the exam, he was treated as a hero, paraded through the city and even a bullfight was given in his honour, after which he would paint his name with the bull's blood on the city walls (some of these are still legible). If he failed it, he was booed instead and pelted with rotten fruit by the people of the town who had hoped for a good party.

In 1813, the 14th King's Hussars, a British cavalry regiment, were part of the Battle of Vitoria and captured the chamberpot of Napoleon's brother Joseph, then the King of Spain. They still retain it (though they've been combined with other units to the "King's Royal Hussars" now), and the officers traditionally drink champagne out of it on mess nights.

The Church of the Holy Sepulchre (where Jesus is said to have been crucified, buried and where he rose from the dead) is entrusted to the care of six different churches (Greek Orthodox, Armenian Apostolic, Roman Catholic, Coptic, Ethiopian Orthodox and Syriac Orthodox), and generally the respective custodians despise each other, with fistfights over trivial matters being a regular occurence. One wooden ladder has been leaning on the church's outer wall for at least 258 years, as the walls are defined as common ground and nothing can be changed there without the consent of all six churches - and in 1964 Pope Paul VI decreed that this ladder shouldn't be moved before all the churches had reunited as a visible sign of the division between the churches now, so it'll probably remain in place for a long time to come.

In 1325, the constant tensions between the rival city-states of Bologna and Modena came to a head when a couple of Modenese soldiers managed to slip into Bologna's city centre and stole a bucket full with minor loot. A humiliated Bologna demanded the bucket's return, and, when it was refused, declared war. 2,000 people died for the retrieval of this loving bucket. The Bolognese lost, and it can still be admired in Modena's town hall to this day.

The shortest war known to history would be the Anglo-Zanzibar War fought for 40 minutes on 27 August 1896. To make it short: in Zanzibar a sultan acceded to the throne whom the British didn't like, and when he refused to step down, they shot his palace to pieces until he was forced to flee. Around 500 people were wounded or killed during the bombardment.

Bates
Jun 15, 2006


During the Napoleonic Wars Denmark got friendly with Napoleon and got him to send a couple of regiments of Spanish troops so Sweden could be taught a valuable lesson. They arrived during winter and were quartered in a royal castle which they attempted to heat to a level deemed acceptable to Mediterrenean folks. The castle promptly burned down and the Spaniards immediately defected and returned home rather than spending the rest of the winter in tents. The commander of the Spanish was Jean-Baptiste Bernadotte who became king of Sweden ten years later.

Frogfingers
Oct 10, 2012


twoday posted:

- The colony of New France was not completely sold during the Louisiana purchase, and part of North America is still under French control.

- The Azores were an outpost of the Carthagian Empire.

Carthage had a habit on sending its admirals on far flung journeys. Himilco discovered the British Isles and Hanno the Navigator sailed south and around sub-Saharan Africa as far as Gabon, discovering gorillas and describing accurately the details of Mt. Cameroon before he turned back.

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



System Metternich posted:

In 1813, the 14th King's Hussars, a British cavalry regiment, were part of the Battle of Vitoria and captured the chamberpot of Napoleon's brother Joseph, then the King of Spain. They still retain it (though they've been combined with other units to the "King's Royal Hussars" now), and the officers traditionally drink champagne out of it on mess nights.



Onward:

Well-meaning privately-funded and government care packages meant for soldier's families in WWI Canada ran into a lot of trouble immediately once it became evident how many Canadian married men had more than one wife.

For a brief time, many Europeans thought tomatoes were poisonous.

System Metternich
Feb 28, 2010

But what did he mean by that?



I once watched a documentary on traditions in British military units and the officers said that the chamberpot was probably the best-cleaned item in the entire barracks.

Some more for the road:

Czar Peter I "the Great" of Russia (reg. 1682-1725) was determined to drag his realm kicking and screaming into modernity after being enormously impressed with what he saw on an incognito 18-month tour through Western Europe (which he had initially begun to ask for aid against the Ottomans). Not only did he upgrade his army, reorganise Russian beueaucracy and create a powerful navy out from virtually nothing, he also thought that even European fashion should be emulated. Most men in Russia wore beards back then, as opposed to the clean-shaven trend that was popular in Europe at the time. In 1698 Peter met with a number of high-ranking military officers and noblemen when he suddenly pulled out a massive barber's knife and started shaving them (they were too stunned by this turn of events to protest and probably also frightened by the loving 6'8" tall czar leaning over them with a sharp knife). Afterwards, he sent out police officers with the order to forcibly remove the facial hair from everyone who wasn't a clergyman or a peasant,. When this proved deeply unpopular for some reason, he instead instituted a (progressive, so a rich merchant would have to pay much more than a poor craftsman) "beard tax". After paying the tax, you would receive "a copper or silver token with a Russian Eagle on one side and on the other, the lower part of a face with nose, mouth, whiskers, and beard. It was inscribed with two phrases: 'the beard tax has been taken' (lit: 'Money taken') and 'the beard is a superfluous burden'"

Early modern Spanish confraternities (i.e. religious organisations consisting mainly of laypeople) knew how to party; we know of confraternities organising bullfights, others employing a full-time "dance master" and one installing a wine fountain for its patron saint's feast day.

In the early 19th century, the various German states and principalities forcibly annexed and confiscated enormous amounts of Church.owned lands and goods. As retribution, they dioceses were promised annual monetary payments instead. These payments are transferred to them by the federal states to this day. Until recently, the state of Bavaria paid the rent for all its Catholic prelates and bishops as part of that deal, for example.

The Austrian president stands in a direct line of continuity to the Austrian emperors and therefore to the Holy Roman Emperors as well. Part of this legacy is that he still has the power to grant academic titles to whomever he likes as well as legitimise children born out of wedlock.

Matthias Kneißl (1875-1902) was a Bavarian outlaw who grew immensely popular with the common rural populace of his day, while being all the more hated by the authorities. He was captured after a massive gunfight and eventually sentenced to death - on a Monday, which led to his legendary saying "What a great start to the week!"

All extant Celtic languages (Scottish Gaelic, Irish, Welsh and Breton) are members of the Insular Celtic Group, whereas all Continental Celtic languages have gone extinct. Cornish died a slow death during the 17th and 18th century, and the last native Manx speaker died in 1974. Both languages undergo revival efforts, though, and for both there's even a handful of native speakers again!

The Ottoman grand vizier Kara Mustafa Pasha (1634/34-1683) was the commander of a 100,000-man army set to destroy the Austrian Empire. After having besieged Vienna for amost two months, his army was routed by an international relief force led by the Polish king John Sobieski. As punishment for his failure, he was strangled to death with a silk cord in Belgrad on the orders of the sultan three months later.

Frogfingers
Oct 10, 2012


System Metternich posted:

All extant Celtic languages (Scottish Gaelic, Irish, Welsh and Breton) are members of the Insular Celtic Group, whereas all Continental Celtic languages have gone extinct. Cornish died a slow death during the 17th and 18th century, and the last native Manx speaker died in 1974. Both languages undergo revival efforts, though, and for both there's even a handful of native speakers again!

I think you'll find Breton quite continental. Besides this, Basque is a Celtic language, too, is it not?

Crow Jane
Oct 18, 2012

nothin' wrong with a lady drinkin' alone in her room

System Metternich posted:

Czar Peter I "the Great" of Russia (reg. 1682-1725) was determined to drag his realm kicking and screaming into modernity after being enormously impressed with what he saw on an incognito 18-month tour through Western Europe (which he had initially begun to ask for aid against the Ottomans). Not only did he upgrade his army, reorganise Russian beueaucracy and create a powerful navy out from virtually nothing, he also thought that even European fashion should be emulated. Most men in Russia wore beards back then, as opposed to the clean-shaven trend that was popular in Europe at the time. In 1698 Peter met with a number of high-ranking military officers and noblemen when he suddenly pulled out a massive barber's knife and started shaving them (they were too stunned by this turn of events to protest and probably also frightened by the loving 6'8" tall czar leaning over them with a sharp knife). Afterwards, he sent out police officers with the order to forcibly remove the facial hair from everyone who wasn't a clergyman or a peasant,. When this proved deeply unpopular for some reason, he instead instituted a (progressive, so a rich merchant would have to pay much more than a poor craftsman) "beard tax". After paying the tax, you would receive "a copper or silver token with a Russian Eagle on one side and on the other, the lower part of a face with nose, mouth, whiskers, and beard. It was inscribed with two phrases: 'the beard tax has been taken' (lit: 'Money taken') and 'the beard is a superfluous burden'"

Related to this, sort of, I remember reading that decorative buttons on jacket sleeves originated with Napoleon, who got tired of seeing soldiers wipe their grubby noses and mouths on their sleeves. Since men's fashion has always been pretty heavily influenced by the military, it just kind of caught on for everyone, and is still standard to this day.

Verus
Jun 3, 2011

AUT INVENIAM VIAM AUT FACIAM


Frogfingers posted:

I think you'll find Breton quite continental.
No.

Frogfingers posted:

Besides this, Basque is a Celtic language, too, is it not?
NO

Samovar
Jun 4, 2011

I'm not a hero...





I remember hearing (hearing, mind you, so it could be wrong) that the only European country that never had anti-Jewish laws on the books was Scotland.

Straight White Shark
May 16, 2009



Fun Shoe

Samovar posted:

I remember hearing (hearing, mind you, so it could be wrong) that the only European country that never had anti-Jewish laws on the books was Scotland.

This might be true but only as a technicality, since the United Kingdom (including Scotland) certainly had anti-Jewish laws on the books.

System Metternich
Feb 28, 2010

But what did he mean by that?



Frogfingers posted:

I think you'll find Breton quite continental. Besides this, Basque is a Celtic language, too, is it not?

While Breton is indeed spoken on the continent, it was brought to the region by Britonic settlers from south-west England and Wales in the 4th century and therefore forms part of the "Insular Celtic" linguistic subgroup. You can still see this in the names of the petty kingdoms formed by them there: Domnonée (Devon), Cornouaille (Cornwall) and Léon (Caerleon in southern Wales). Basque is a so-called "language isolate", i.e. there are no known relatives of it. It is quite possibly the only remaining pre-Indo-European language of Europe.

Samovar posted:

I remember hearing (hearing, mind you, so it could be wrong) that the only European country that never had anti-Jewish laws on the books was Scotland.

While that appears to be true, the reason might have been that there were simply no Jews in Scotland. The first verified account of a Jew living there permanently is from 1691, and in 1707 Scotland was incorporated into the United Kingdom and thereby also became subject to various anti-Jewish laws which were applied to Britain as a whole.

Frogfingers
Oct 10, 2012


System Metternich posted:

While Breton is indeed spoken on the continent, it was brought to the region by Britonic settlers from south-west England and Wales in the 4th century and therefore forms part of the "Insular Celtic" linguistic subgroup. You can still see this in the names of the petty kingdoms formed by them there: Domnonée (Devon), Cornouaille (Cornwall) and Léon (Caerleon in southern Wales). Basque is a so-called "language isolate", i.e. there are no known relatives of it. It is quite possibly the only remaining pre-Indo-European language of Europe.

Now that is strange. The area of Brittany has basically always been nominally Celtic. Why would island Celtic supplant continental?

Alright, now I have to redeem myself with a true fact. Everyone has heard of the Silk Road between the edges of China and the old extents of the Roman empire. But before that there was another road; the Amber road, stretching from the southern baltic coast down to the Med. Polish amber has shown up on a staggering amount of truly ancient artefacts, including beads on Tutankhamen's clothing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amber_Road

Mu Zeta
Oct 17, 2002

Me crush ass to dust



The Holy Roman Empire was not holy, Roman, or an empire.

OBR
Apr 9, 2009


cash crab posted:

After the end of his presidency, Ronald Reagan revealed a long-standing fantasy of cramming Mikhail Gorbachev into a helicopter for the express purpose of flying him around America, pointing at things Reagan thought were neat.

Why Gorbachev exactly? He became the General Secretary in 1985, so why was he in Reagan's long standing fantasies?

EDIT: Whoops, remembered Reagan's presidency ended in 1986. So i guess he had more time to fantasize about Gorba than i first thought.

OBR has a new favorite as of 18:01 on Nov 4, 2015

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



OBR posted:

Why Gorbachev exactly? He became the General Secretary in 1985, so why was he in Reagan's long standing fantasies?

EDIT: Whoops, remembered Reagan's presidency ended in 1986. So i guess he had more time to fantasize about Gorba than i first thought.

'89, actually. Extremely popular for a guy who should have been loving impeached, IMO.

cloudchamber
Aug 6, 2010

You know what the Ukraine is? It's a sitting duck. A road apple, Newman. The Ukraine is weak. It's feeble. I think it's time to put the hurt on the Ukraine

Jean-Paul Sartre's father was an Alsatian.

NLJP
Aug 26, 2004




Frogfingers posted:

Now that is strange. The area of Brittany has basically always been nominally Celtic. Why would island Celtic supplant continental?

Alright, now I have to redeem myself with a true fact. Everyone has heard of the Silk Road between the edges of China and the old extents of the Roman empire. But before that there was another road; the Amber road, stretching from the southern baltic coast down to the Med. Polish amber has shown up on a staggering amount of truly ancient artefacts, including beads on Tutankhamen's clothing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amber_Road

Well, the Bretons seem to come from (celtic, of course) British soldiers who accompanied a Roman commander, Magnus Maximus, across the waters to Gaul into Italy in 387 to contest for the imperial throne. He failed and much of his army settled in Britanny. This was long after romanisation of Gaul so the continental Celtic language had already basically been supplanted by vulgar latin/celtic dialetcs. He was a hugely popular man in Britain and he was a culture hero character for a long time there and is still remembered today as Macsen Wlaedig with plenty of old stories. It's a cool weird story and there's quite a lot more too it though some of it is rather vague. The linguistic evidence definitely backs the basic story up though.

He's often been connected to Arthurian stories in latter days since it is reckoned his death marked the end of Roman Britain.

NLJP has a new favorite as of 19:06 on Nov 4, 2015

Frogfingers
Oct 10, 2012


NLJP posted:

Well, the Bretons seem to come from (celtic, of course) British soldiers who accompanied a Roman commander, Magnus Maximus, across the waters to Gaul into Italy in 387 to contest for the imperial throne. He failed and much of his army settled in Britanny. This was long after romanisation of Gaul so the continental Celtic language had already basically been supplanted by vulgar latin/celtic dialetcs. He was a hugely popular man in Britain and he was a culture hero character for a long time there and is still remembered today as Macsen Wlaedig with plenty of old stories. It's a cool weird story and there's quite a lot more too it though some of it is rather vague. The linguistic evidence definitely backs the basic story up though.

He's often been connected to Arthurian stories in latter days since it is reckoned his death marked the end of Roman Britain.

That makes sense because I saw a study of Breton male names and they're basically all connected with warfare for some reason, such is clear now. I wish I had saved the link.

NLJP
Aug 26, 2004




Frogfingers posted:

That makes sense because I saw a study of Breton male names and they're basically all connected with warfare for some reason, such is clear now. I wish I had saved the link.

Not heard of that! Please link it if you find it, sounds interesting.

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!


Genghis Khan had a pet hawk that knocked a goblet out of his hand multiple times when he went to fill it at a lake to drink. Eventually, he got mad enough that he killed his hawk and looked in the lake, only to see a poisonous snake in the water. Only then did he realize his hawk was trying to protect him, and he wept.

Much of the poor-quality bread European peasants ate were tainted with a fungus called Ergot. Eating Ergot can lead to intense burning in the limbs (later dubbed Saint Anthony's Fire), gangrene, and hallucinations ; Ergot was the original source from which LSD was first isolated. Normally the peasants would throw out the fungus-ridden bread, but if the harvest was bad or if they were poor enough to not be able to refuse anything thrown to them, they settled for bread infected with the Ergot. Many believe that the Great Fear of France was fueled by peasants hopped up on Ergot-infected bread.

Publius Vedius Pollio was a friend of Roman emperor Augustus and loved fish. He loved them so much that he had a big pool full of moray eels and lampreys trained to eat slaves who were thrown in there. One time, he was dining with Augustus, and a slave cracked a cup and Publius ordered the slave to be thrown to the eels. Augustus got pissed at Publius and spared the slave's life and smashed the rest of his cups and goblets in front of him. When Publius died, he was considered "a man who in general had done nothing deserving of remembrance, as he was sprung from freedmen, belonged to the knights, and had performed no brilliant deeds; but he had become very famous for his wealth and for his cruelty, so that he has even gained a place in history."

MisterBibs
Jul 17, 2010

dolla dolla
bill y'all


Fun Shoe

EorayMel posted:


Publius Vedius Pollio was a friend of Roman emperor Augustus and loved fish. He loved them so much that he had a big pool full of moray eels and lampreys trained to eat slaves who were thrown in there. One time, he was dining with Augustus, and a slave cracked a cup and Publius ordered the slave to be thrown to the eels. Augustus got pissed at Publius and spared the slave's life and smashed the rest of his cups and goblets in front of him. When Publius died, he was considered "a man who in general had done nothing deserving of remembrance, as he was sprung from freedmen, belonged to the knights, and had performed no brilliant deeds; but he had become very famous for his wealth and for his cruelty, so that he has even gained a place in history."

Augustus also had the dude's precious pool filled in. When Pollio died, Augustus inherited the guy's estate, and had the place full-on demolished.

Frogfingers
Oct 10, 2012


NLJP posted:

Not heard of that! Please link it if you find it, sounds interesting.

http://www.wales.ac.uk/resources/documents/research/bretonpatronymsbritishheroicage.pdf I did some Googling for you, enjoy.

NLJP
Aug 26, 2004





That is cool, you are cool. Thank you very much!

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you


Reagan went through 720 lbs a month of Jelly Belly jellybeans in the White House. His method of eating Jelly Bellys (by the handful) was seen as crass by the enthusiasts who prefer to eat them one by one.

The oldest continuously operating business in the world is a Japanese construction company that now specializes in Buddhist temples. It's been running for 1400 years.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kong%C5%8D_Gumi

The company that makes Zildjian cymbals was formed in the 17th Century Ottoman Empire to make scary noisemaker cymbals for the army.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Okehazama
A pretty hilarious battle occurred in 16th century Japan. Oda Nobunaga with a force of 2,500 had an army of 25,000 marching towards him. Oda planned a secret attack on the larger force, and left behind all their tents and a small force carrying banners to make it look like the whole army was encamped while his main force snuck around the forest.
The larger army had had a pretty good string of victories, and, expecting that their enemies were encamped, got permission to all get drunk and celebrate. There was a huge thunderstorm that day, which hid Oda's army movements. After the storm ended, they launched a surprise attack from the rear on a drunken and unprepared army. The army fled, and their commander and daimyo came out from his tent to reprimand his men for what he assumed was them fighting amongst themselves. He got his head lopped off immediately afterwards.
This brought the Oda clan from scrappy upstart to having just defeated the largest and most powerful clan.

The battle of HMS Speedy vs. Spanish xebec El Gamo is a pretty great story. A 14 gun sloop crewed by 50 men takes on a 32 gun frigate crewed by 300 men. Through a flag ruse, Speedy rolls up alongside the Gamo and fires cannons at point blank. The frigate was so much bigger than the sloop, that she couldn't depress her guns far enough downward to return fire into the smaller ship. Whenever the Spanish marines would put together a boarding party to hop onto Speedy, Speedy separated at enough distance that the marines couldn't leap across, but also that Gamo couldn't fire on Speedy. Eventually, Speedy puts together a boarding party which consisted of literally everybody on the ship except the surgeon (tasked with holding the ship's wheel to keep them close). Those 50 hop onto the ship carrying 300 men and begin hand to hand combat, with Speedy's captain shouting back (in Spanish, of course) to the surgeon helming the empty ship to send the rest of the boarders across. The Spanish captain surrendered, and that's the story of how Lord Thomas Cochrane captured a better equipped ship while outnumbered 6-1.

One of the last cavalry charges in history was in 1942, when Italian cavalry charged a Soviet flank with pistols, sabers, and hand grenades. It didn't end super well for the cavalry, though the resulting Italian infantry charge won the day.

CroatianAlzheimers
Jun 15, 2009

I can't remember why I'm mad at you...




canyoneer posted:

The battle of HMS Speedy vs. Spanish xebec El Gamo.

It was also the basis for the fictional fight between HM Brig Sophie and the xebec Cacafuego from Patrick O'Brian's Master and Commander. In fact, Lord Cochrane was the model for O'Brian's Captain Jack Aubrey, the only fictional character I wish was my dad.

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



canyoneer posted:

Reagan went through 720 lbs a month of Jelly Belly jellybeans in the White House. His method of eating Jelly Bellys (by the handful) was seen as crass by the enthusiasts who prefer to eat them one by one.

The company that makes Zildjian cymbals was formed in the 17th Century Ottoman Empire to make scary noisemaker cymbals for the army.

These two made me laugh like crazy, thank you.

Charles II of Spain, because of his deformities and disabilities, was neither expected to attend school or bathe. Ever. Also: "The physician who practiced his autopsy stated that his body "did not contain a single drop of blood; his heart was the size of a peppercorn; his lungs corroded; his intestines rotten and gangrenous; he had a single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water." Neat!

SeanBeansShako
Nov 20, 2009


During the 18th and 19th centuries, the introduction of sugar and coffee from the plantations of the new world to many Europeans diets of course began a wave of tooth decay and wear never seen before. Logically this is when modern false teeth started to appear. Everyone is familar with the more unusual falsies men of this era wore (George Washington and his wooden teeth) but of course out of all things chosen for early false teeth, real teeth of course always beat wood or whale bone.

So where do you get a supply of real human teeth? why, from the mouths of dead soldiers of course!

Comptroll The Forums
Apr 25, 2007

DON'T HURT MY FEE FEES!

Just popping in to recommend the How We Got To Now documentary series, which is streaming on Netflix. It has just the right level of detail on a lot of lesser-known discoveries and inventions to be entertaining but also not feel like you're just hearing the same poo poo you heard back in second grade.

CroatianAlzheimers
Jun 15, 2009

I can't remember why I'm mad at you...




SeanBeansShako posted:

During the 18th and 19th centuries, the introduction of sugar and coffee from the plantations of the new world to many Europeans diets of course began a wave of tooth decay and wear never seen before. Logically this is when modern false teeth started to appear. Everyone is familar with the more unusual falsies men of this era wore (George Washington and his wooden teeth) but of course out of all things chosen for early false teeth, real teeth of course always beat wood or whale bone.

So where do you get a supply of real human teeth? why, from the mouths of dead soldiers of course!

A nearly perfect Av/Post combo.

Let's talk about Detroit history! So, as you may know, The Baron Antoine Laumet de LaMothe, Sieur de Cadillac, came down le détroit du lac Érié in 1701 and founded Fort Pontrachrain on a bluff between Lake St, Claire and Lake Erie. Cadillac had recently, within the past decade, arrived in the New World from France, appearing suddenly at Montreal and presenting himself as both an aristocrat and as a cavalry Colonel. None of this was true. In fact, Antoine Laumet was born in southern France, near Toulouse. His father was a middlling court lawyer at Toulouse and his mother came from a new money family. He had no lands and no titles. Before he left France, he apparently (records are sketchy) was at most a lieutenant in the cavalry. He decided that the New World was better than what he had in France, so he made up a bunch of titles (Baron de LaMothe, Sieur de Cadillac), invented a family crest (which is complete gibberish and means nothing, but is used by the Cadillac car company to this day as their corporate logo), and gave himself a promotion. When he got to New France, they didn't know any better, so they were all, "Sure thing, Colonel! Here's some men!" During the time he was in the New World, he used his fake rank and titles to amass (and lose) a number of fortunes. He did a ton of exploring, a ton of exploitation of not only the native population but of the French and English trappers and settlers. He was a real piece of work.

I'll come back later to talk more about the adventures of Antoine Cadillac: Professional Shitheel.

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you


Abraham Lincoln was once challenged to a duel by a political opponent who he had offended in a newspaper article. Dueling was not legal, but this was the frontier. As the challenged party, he had the opportunity to choose the venue, rules, and weapons. He wasn't really the dueling type, and didn't want to kill the guy, but social customs required that he answer.
He chose a pit, with a 10 foot long plank in the middle that neither party could step on or over, and huge heavy cavalry broadswords. Lincoln was 6'4", and his opponent was 5'9". Lincoln was also crazy strong too, from a lot of hard labor in his early years. It was set up in such a way that the other guy had a reach disadvantage and had pretty much no chance of winning.
Just showing up was enough to answer the challenge, and they shook hands and parted ways without fighting. Lincoln said that he didn't really want to fight or kill him (explaining why he chose such weird circumstances), but that if he did want to, he could have split that guy in half.

Here's a story in Lincoln's own words about how he accidentally took a poo poo in his own hat:
“‘I would rather see Golliher than any man living, he played me a dirty trick once and I want to pay him up. One Sunday Golliher and another boy and myself were out in the woods on knob Creek playing and hunting around for young squirels, when I climed up a tree and left Austin and the other boy on the grown. Golliher shut his eyes like he was asleep. I noticed his hat sat straight with the reverse side up I thought I would poo poo in his hat. Gollier was watching and when I let the load drop he swaped hats and my hat caught the whole charge.’ At this recital the President laughed heartily.”

SneezeOfTheDecade
Feb 6, 2011

2:35 PM, 5 April 2017. 153 decibels. Caused the cat actual harm.




The Roman emperor Nero's mom, Agrippina, was pretty power-hungry, and was the one who arranged for him to be emperor (through years of networking and manipulation). But after he ascended and started asserting himself, Nero was afraid that now that he was out from under Agrippina's thumb, she would try to get rid of him and put someone more controllable on the throne. So he decided to kill her.

He had to make it look like an accident, though, so he arranged to build a ship that would wreck itself, put her on it, and set it to sail. The ship successfully wrecked - but Agrippina simply swam to shore, dried off, and kept on keepin' on.

Nero finally had to poison her to get rid of her.

Mu Zeta posted:

The Holy Roman Empire was not holy, Roman, or an empire.

I'm all verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009



Cats are popular to this day in much of the Islamic world and many mosques permit cats to live on the grounds because Mohammed himself was a noted cat lover. One of his followers wrote of an incident where Mohammed's favorite cat Muezza was sleeping on the sleeve of Mohammed's prayer robe when he was preparing for prayer. Rather than disturb the sleeping cat, he simply cut the sleeve off the robe.

The SR-71 Blackbird spy plane, one of the most advanced aircraft ever produced during the 20th century, was built to spy on the Soviet Union during the Cold War. Due to the extreme stresses the Blackbird's speed and altitude put on the airframe, much of the airframe was built out of titanium, a metal very seldom used at the time and difficult to obtain in large quantities. Most of the titanium used in the Blackbird was covertly purchased from the Soviet Union, the very nation the Blackbird was designed to spy on.

Invisible Clergy
Sep 25, 2015

"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3


France performed its last execution by guillotine in 1977.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamida_Djandoubi

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you


Cleopatra lived closer in time to the moon landings than she did to the building of the pyramids at Giza

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us


Pillbug

Railing Kill posted:

Two of the USSR's Premiers, Stalin and Krustchev, weren't Russian. Stalin was Georgian and Krustchev was Ukrainian. Both were lampooned for their accents in Russia. Presumably they were lampoon very, very quietly.

Not particularly quietly, at least one very famous actor who played Stalin during the latter's lifetime hammed it up quite convincingly. Naturally, Stalin preferred another actor, one who did not play his role with an accent at all.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply