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a fatguy baldspot
Aug 29, 2018



Cooked Auto posted:

Speaking of Groucho Marx there's a great story about one of his brothers, Chico and the actress Tallulah Bankhead.
So Chico was a well known womanizer, but also had a reputation for being incredibly blunt about it. If not incredibly crude.

Now Tallulah Bankhead was the daughter of William Blankhead, member of the US House of Representatives and Speaker of the House, which made her prominent on her own right.
Tallulah herself was no slouch in begin a very colourful person. But this thing happened before she became really famous.

The two met at a party and before that Groucho had begged and pleaded with his brother not to do his usual thing and actually behave. As not to sully Tallulah's reputation. Chico obviously agreed to behave. So at one point the two met over the punch bowl and exchanged greetings.

Chico: “Miss Bankhead.”
Tallulah: “Mr Marx.”

There was a collective sigh of relief from everyone else. But then the real Chico came out swinging. Only for Tallulah to counter quite magnificently.

Chico: “You know, I really want to gently caress you.”
Tallulah: “And so you shall, you old fashioned boy.”

did they gently caress

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Cooked Auto
Aug 4, 2007

If you will not serve in combat, you will serve on the firing line!




a fatguy baldspot posted:

did they gently caress

Sadly the story did not divulge on that.
I would almost assume as much.

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011






Historic april fool's jokes:
In 1950 a norwegian paper reported that a brewery was running out of bottles. In order to not waste wine people was urged to show up at the brewery with whatever containers they had to get cheap wine. A lot of people with buckets showed up at the brewery. Then in 1987, on the same date, a liquor store announced that they would hand out 1000 liters of contraband booze. Again people showed up with buckets and empty bottles.

In 1938, on april 1st, a newspaper reported that Adolf Hitler had visited Norway. They "quoted" him saying "It is my strength to be where people don't expect me to be and do what people don't expect me to do." According to the newspaper he had said that as long as other countries did what he said there would be no war.

Samovar
Jun 4, 2011

I'm not a hero...





Alhazred posted:

In 1938, on april 1st, a newspaper reported that Adolf Hitler had visited Norway. They "quoted" him saying "It is my strength to be where people don't expect me to be and do what people don't expect me to do." According to the newspaper he had said that as long as other countries did what he said there would be no war.

Oof.

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011






The origin of april fool's day is supposed to have been in France. The new year traditionally started on april 1st until 1563 when the french king decided that it should start on january 1st instead. Not everyone was happy about this and insisted on celebrating the new year on april 1st. The people who did accept the king's edict then started to mock the people stubborn enough to celebrate on the "wrong" date. Since april 1st coincided with lent where people couldn't eat meat but could eat fish people started to incorporate fish in their jokes. Soon a tradition started where people tried to put paper fish on people's back without them noticing.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017


Quoth James Cameron,

"Nevermore"



The republican calendar started in vendémiare in late september but it seems odd that a catholic country wouldn't observe the roman tradition. Although I guess that would predate the gregorian reform if true so

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

D U S T M A N


Samovar posted:

Umberto Eco liked Corto Maltese.

everyone loves Corto Maltese

CleverHans
Apr 25, 2011



Yams Fan

Alhazred posted:

Historic april fool's jokes:
In 1950 a norwegian paper reported that a brewery was running out of bottles. In order to not waste wine people was urged to show up at the brewery with whatever containers they had to get cheap wine. A lot of people with buckets showed up at the brewery. Then in 1987, on the same date, a liquor store announced that they would hand out 1000 liters of contraband booze. Again people showed up with buckets and empty bottles.

In 1938, on april 1st, a newspaper reported that Adolf Hitler had visited Norway. They "quoted" him saying "It is my strength to be where people don't expect me to be and do what people don't expect me to do." According to the newspaper he had said that as long as other countries did what he said there would be no war.

Big fan of the spaghetti-tree hoax

meatbag
Apr 2, 2007

They're very good hands.

Clapping Larry

Alhazred posted:


In 1938, on april 1st, a newspaper reported that Adolf Hitler had visited Norway. They "quoted" him saying "It is my strength to be where people don't expect me to be and do what people don't expect me to do." According to the newspaper he had said that as long as other countries did what he said there would be no war.

Also, the Luftwaffe razed the city the paper was in two years later, presumably for unrelated reasons.

Mr. Belpit
Nov 11, 2008


Alhazred posted:

In 1950 a norwegian paper reported that a brewery was running out of bottles. In order to not waste wine people was urged to show up at the brewery with whatever containers they had to get cheap wine. A lot of people with buckets showed up at the brewery. Then in 1987, on the same date, a liquor store announced that they would hand out 1000 liters of contraband booze. Again people showed up with buckets and empty bottles.
Well? Was crisis averted on either of these incidents?

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011






Mr. Belpit posted:

Well? Was crisis averted on either of these incidents?

Not for lack of trying:

Biplane
Jul 18, 2005



Alhazred posted:

Not for lack of trying:


Lol this could be a picture of the present. There's a line around the block every day it's open.

Detective Thompson
Nov 9, 2007

Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. is also in repose.

Alhazred posted:

Historic april fool's jokes:
In 1950 a norwegian paper reported that a brewery was running out of bottles. In order to not waste wine people was urged to show up at the brewery with whatever containers they had to get cheap wine. A lot of people with buckets showed up at the brewery.

Wine isn't brewed. Man, these chuckleheads were some real April Fools if they fell for that!

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang




Prison wine is brewed I think

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011






Detective Thompson posted:

Wine isn't brewed. Man, these chuckleheads were some real April Fools if they fell for that!

I guess a better word would be bottling plant.

Samovar
Jun 4, 2011

I'm not a hero...





I've got a doozy for you all. Back in the days when electricity was a new-fangled thing, it's effect on biological tissues was famously observed when Alessandro Volta passed an electrical current through frog legs, which caused them to twitch.

This lead, not surprisingly, to people thinking that electricity had some kind of inherent, life-giving quality (see Frankenstein, etc.) and so further experimentation was carried out. One thing that was noted was that if pain was easily stimulated by electrical currents, and so one Prussian scientist, Alexander von Humboldt, reached a reasonable hypothesis that maybe if a nerve was stimulated to a sufficient amount, it could be numbed.

Now, unlike many other scientists of the time (and not), Humboldt was willing to experiment upon himself. So, in order to see if electricity could be used as some kind of a local anaesthetic, he decided to put an electrical current through himself.

Specifically, through an exposed nerve from a freshly pulled out-tooth.

We don't have any records of what he SAID after this experiment, only that the pain receded after two days.

Biplane
Jul 18, 2005



Ow

Kennel
May 1, 2008

BAWWW-UNH!


"owww my nerves hurt a lot oww oof my neeerves"

System Metternich
Feb 28, 2010

But what did he mean by that?



Reminds me of the dude who created a pain scale of insect bites/stings by finding out himself which ones hurt the most (the Schmidt sting pain index). Here are some excerpts:

digger bee, level 1 posted:

almost pleasant, a lover just bit your earlobe a little too hard

sweat bee, level 1 posted:

light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm

termite-raiding ant, level 2 posted:

the debilitating pain of a migraine contained in the tip of your finger

yellowjacket, level 2 posted:

hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue

Maricopa harvester ant, level 3 posted:

after eight unrelenting hours of drilling into that ingrown toenail, you find the drill wedged into the toe

bullet ant, level 4 posted:

pure, intense, brilliant pain...like walking over flaming charcoal with a three-inch nail embedded in your heel

warrior wasp, level 4 posted:

Torture. You are chained in the flow of an active volcano. Why did I start this list?

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang




lmao at both these scientists

Azhais
Feb 5, 2007


Switchblade Switcharoo

Carthag Tuek posted:

lmao at both these scientists

But now I need them to lick a Manchineel and tell me how it compares

Biplane
Jul 18, 2005



System Metternich posted:

Reminds me of the dude who created a pain scale of insect bites/stings by finding out himself which ones hurt the most (the Schmidt sting pain index). Here are some excerpts:

That guy rules.

Samovar
Jun 4, 2011

I'm not a hero...





Carthag Tuek posted:

lmao at both these scientists

von Humboldt was actually so infamous for testing out harmful chemical and physical effects on himself, it's probable that he crippled himself doing so.

Edit: oh my goodness, I've just realized that with my earlier post, I answered my own question I made in this very thread almost five years ago now...

Samovar has a new favorite as of 10:47 on Apr 8, 2021

Der Kyhe
Jun 25, 2008

Think something witty and pretend it's written here.



Samovar posted:

von Humboldt was actually so infamous for testing out harmful chemical and physical effects on himself, it's probable that he crippled himself doing so.

Chemistry books used to have a description on what different chemicals taste like when they are successfully created since you did not have a computer analytics tools to throw the mix into.

And at least two artificial sweeteners have been invented because the chemist messed up, and went for a lunch without washing their hands before eating sandwich.

doverhog
May 31, 2013

Sometimes I just get tired of thinking of all the things that I do not wanna do. All the things that I do not wanna be. Places I do not wanna go.


PYF Anti-Food Porn/Food Fads: Mercury tastes like mercury https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3959162 is called that because one of the posters tasted mercury and posted about it.

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011






System Metternich posted:

Reminds me of the dude who created a pain scale of insect bites/stings by finding out himself which ones hurt the most (the Schmidt sting pain index). Here are some excerpts:

There's also Nicolae Minovici who hanged himself in order to find out...how hanging affects the human body. Dr. Allan Walker Blair let a black widow bite his finger to find out what would happen.

Der Kyhe posted:

Chemistry books used to have a description on what different chemicals taste like when they are successfully created since you did not have a computer analytics tools to throw the mix into.

And at least two artificial sweeteners have been invented because the chemist messed up, and went for a lunch without washing their hands before eating sandwich.
Ilya Metchnikoff drank a drink containing Cholera vibrio. He did not get sick and formulated a theory saying that human intestinal flora played a part in disease prevention. Barry Marshall drank a beaker containing a culture of H. pylori in order to prove that ulcers was caused by a bacteria and not stress.

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




System Metternich posted:

Reminds me of the dude who created a pain scale of insect bites/stings by finding out himself which ones hurt the most (the Schmidt sting pain index). Here are some excerpts:

I guesss this method is contributing more to science than just scheduling a dominatrix session. He even probably got paid for it! So yeah, more power to this guy.

Byzantine
Sep 1, 2007



Also Werner Forssmann, the guy who ran a catheter down his arm into his heart just to prove it was possible, then had to walk around the hospital with one end of the tube in his heart and the other sticking out his arm because he didn’t do the test where an X-ray machine was, and that basically kicked off modern cardiology.

You kinda get where the whole ‘mad scientist’ thing came from.

System Metternich
Feb 28, 2010

But what did he mean by that?



So here's a fun fact I learned just now: Prince Philip was so old that his birth date was registered in the Julian calendar

He was born in 1921 in Greece which adopted the Gregorian calendar only two years later

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011






On the 9th of april 1940 german forces invaded Norway. The whole operation was a huge clusterfuck on both side. When the government learned about the invasion they decided on a partial military mobilization, the problem is that the rules for that was that the summoning of the reserve forces was done by mail. Which would mean that the brigades would be ready two days after the invasion. Norway didn't even know who was behind the invasion because both Germany and the UK had ships in Norway's waters. Then a minor airbase got permission to surrender to the german forces, but because of a mistake every airbase got the order of surrender. Luckily not every colonel obeyed orders. On the military base on Oscarsborg Birger Eriksen readied the canons called "Aaron" and "Moses". When he saw the german ship Blücher he said "Either I will be decorated, or I will be court-martialed. Fire!" Blücher sank and 1000 german soldiers was killed. After the war Eriksen was decorated with the Norwegian War Cross with Sword, French Croix de guerre and Légion d'honneur.

When the german planes flew over the main airport in Norway it was too cloudy for the paratroopers to jump, only one plane decided to go ahead. Norway's air force consisted of biplanes but they proved to be effective against the more modern airplanes. They managed to shoot down two Messerschmitts and tow bombers. The german planes only managed to destroy the norwegian biplanes when they landed in order to get more ammunition. One junker plane saw the flaming wrecks and though that it meant that the paratroopers had secured the airport. Just when unker started the landing anti aircraft guns fired at it and the pilot was killed. Germany had essentially lost the battle when a Messerschmitt performed an emergency landing on the airport and started shooting. The airport was secured and the german transport planes could land safely.

The last military base to surrender was Hegra Fortress who surrendered on may 5th. Part of the reason why it withheld for so long was that the german forces was caught in a blizzard and shot each other during an attack. The german lost 150 soldiers and an airplane, the norwegian defenders lost six soldiers.

Alhazred has a new favorite as of 15:43 on Apr 9, 2021

Marcade
Jun 11, 2006

Who are you to doubt El Vago?



Alhazred posted:

On the 9th of april 1940 german forces invaded Norway. The whole operation was a huge clusterfuck on both side. When the government learned about the invasion they decided on a partial military mobilization, the problem is that the rules for that was that the summoning of the reserve forces was done by mail. Which would mean that the brigades would be ready two days after the invasion. Norway didn't even know who was behind the invasion because both Germany and the UK had ships in Norway's waters. Then a minor airbase got permission to surrender to the german forces, but because of a mistake every airbase got the order of surrender. Luckily not every colonel obeyed orders. On the military base on Oscarsborg Birger Eriksen readied the canons called "Aaron" and "Moses". When he saw the german ship Blücher he said "Either I will be decorated, or I will be court-martialed. Fire!" Blücher sank and 1000 german soldiers was killed. After the war Eriksen was decorated with the Norwegian War Cross with Sword, French Croix de guerre and Légion d'honneur.

*horses whinny*

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you



Franz Reichelt, parachute suit inventor. Wanted to create a flight suit replacement for aviators that would double as a parachute.

Got permission to test it by throwing a dummy off the Eiffel Tower, and at the last moment bamboozled the authorities by jumping himself instead. It didn't work.

RC and Moon Pie
May 5, 2011



System Metternich posted:

So here's a fun fact I learned just now: Prince Philip was so old that his birth date was registered in the Julian calendar

He was born in 1921 in Greece which adopted the Gregorian calendar only two years later

Wikipedia posted:

Alaska remained on the Julian calendar along with the rest of Russia until 1867, when it was sold to the United States. At noon on Saturday, 7 October 1867 (Julian), the date changed to Friday, 18 October 1867 (Gregorian). Although the Julian calendar was 12 days behind the Gregorian calendar, only 11 days were skipped because Alaska also moved from the European side of the International Date Line to the American side.[17]

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017


Quoth James Cameron,

"Nevermore"



Alhazred posted:

On the 9th of april 1940 german forces invaded Norway. The whole operation was a huge clusterfuck on both side. When the government learned about the invasion they decided on a partial military mobilization, the problem is that the rules for that was that the summoning of the reserve forces was done by mail. Which would mean that the brigades would be ready two days after the invasion. Norway didn't even know who was behind the invasion because both Germany and the UK had ships in Norway's waters. Then a minor airbase got permission to surrender to the german forces, but because of a mistake every airbase got the order of surrender. Luckily not every colonel obeyed orders. On the military base on Oscarsborg Birger Eriksen readied the canons called "Aaron" and "Moses". When he saw the german ship Blücher he said "Either I will be decorated, or I will be court-martialed. Fire!" Blücher sank and 1000 german soldiers was killed. After the war Eriksen was decorated with the Norwegian War Cross with Sword, French Croix de guerre and Légion d'honneur.

When the german planes flew over the main airport in Norway it was too cloudy for the paratroopers to jump, only one plane decided to go ahead. Norway's air force consisted of biplanes but they proved to be effective against the more modern airplanes. They managed to shoot down two Messerschmitts and tow bombers. The german planes only managed to destroy the norwegian biplanes when they landed in order to get more ammunition. One junker plane saw the flaming wrecks and though that it meant that the paratroopers had secured the airport. Just when unker started the landing anti aircraft guns fired at it and the pilot was killed. Germany had essentially lost the battle when a Messerschmitt performed an emergency landing on the airport and started shooting. The airport was secured and the german transport planes could land safely.

The last military base to surrender was Hegra Fortress who surrendered on may 5th. Part of the reason why it withheld for so long was that the german forces was caught in a blizzard and shot each other during an attack. The german lost 150 soldiers and an airplane, the norwegian defenders lost six soldiers.

Weren't the cannons that sunk Blücher also ludicrously ancient even by 1940s standards?

Paper Tiger
Jun 17, 2007

torn apart by idle hands



Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Weren't the cannons that sunk Blücher also ludicrously ancient even by 1940s standards?


Marcade posted:

*horses whinny*

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

- Ska du ha maito i kaffet?


Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Weren't the cannons that sunk Blücher also ludicrously ancient even by 1940s standards?

The thing about artillery is if it hits it hits.

Zudgemud
Mar 1, 2009


Grimey Drawer

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Weren't the cannons that sunk Blücher also ludicrously ancient even by 1940s standards?

If I recall correctly the stuff that actually sunk it was an old topedo battery, the even older guns didn't do much else than messing up the superstructure.

Arban
Aug 28, 2017


The cannons (that startet a fire in the floatplane hangar) were from 1892. The Torpedoes that actually sunk it where Whiteheads, aka the first torpedo ever designed.

The Blücher had been commisioned less then a year earlier

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us


Pillbug

Similarly, Russian 107 mm model 1877 guns were dusted off and used in the defense of Moscow in 1941. Turns out getting slapped with a big ol' HE shell sucks, even if the model isn't very cutting edge.

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Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012



The century-and-a-half-old guns at Malta and Gibraltar could propel a one-ton shell beyond the speed of sound.

Development in armor and especially armaments rendered it obsolete against later warships, but what a thing to be hit by.

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