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Stefu
Feb 4, 2005

This is the new Finnish politics megathread. We have to have one to contain our kind so as not to pollute the other megathreads, particularly the noble Aryan Scandinavian Megathread. Let us all pray to Ukko that this thread does not suck as hard as the last one.

THE SETTING:

Finland is now ruled by a right-wing three-party government, where National Coalition is privatizing everything, Centre is doing whatever the National Coalition does expect with more tractors and True Finns try to pretend that they are relevant. Death is certain.

THE PLAYERS:

CENTRE



Historically a farmer's party, now a center-right party for rural people. Led by Juha Sipilä, an engineering businessman who will fix all of Finland's problems with his engineer wisdom.

Relationship to cutting: Does not feel anything while cutting as long as copious amounts of regional subsidies continue to be injected as a painkiller. (Though after putting a libertarian think tank leader as the Transport Minister even that system is not working as well as usual).

NATIONAL COALITION



Historically a conservative party, now a party that seems like it was designed by a committee to be serve as the main pillar of Finnish capitalism. Led by Alexander Stubb, the Minister of Finance and Selfies.

Relationship to cutting: Laughs while cutting.

TRUE FINNS



Historically related to another farmer's party for farmers who were even more farmery than those in Centre, now a right-wing populist party. Led by Timo Soini, who is a Catholic Christian and thus by definition cannot be a racist.

Relationship to cutting: The fact that yet another local True Finns councillor has posted about literally cutting up brown people naturally is just an individual case and to claim otherwise is a green-left "tolerant" lie.

SOCIAL DEMOCRATS



Historically a social-democratic party, currently a social-democratic party (note: the meaning of social-democratic may have changed considerably during this period). Led by Antti Rinne, winning the hearts and veins of the working class with his bacon pasta.

Relationship to cutting: Cries while cutting.

GREENS



Historically an environmentalist party, now either a bunch of eco-stalinists who want to put your car to a gulag or National Coalition on bikes or both. Led by Ville Niinistö, who will get that mine closed any day now.

Relationship to cutting: Our organic, vegetarian cuts will save the planet.

LEFT ALLIANCE



Historically a communist party, now a dying party. Led by Paavo Arhinmäki, the former Minister of Football and Football.

Relationship to cutting (and everything else, when in government): See Social Democrats.

SWEDISH PEOPLE'S PARTY



Historically a party for Swedish-speaking upper-class, now a party for all Swedish-speakers (plot twist: they are all upper class). Led by Carl Haglund, who will one day make Hogwarts fully bilingual.

Relationship to cutting: It's all good as long as at least 5% of the cutters are Swedish-speaking.

CHRISTIAN DEMOCRATS



Historically a party for good Christian people who don't approve of gays, abortions, alcohol, rock music, sex education or fun in general. Now starting to approve of rock music. Led by Sari Essayah, who I totally just googled first instead of Päivi Räsänen.

Relationship to cutting: The only thing they wouldn't ban.

The old thread, if you dare: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3390024&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

Stefu fucked around with this message at 12:37 on Nov 7, 2015

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Fish of hemp
Apr 1, 2011

A friendly little mouse!
I'm willing to bet a small bottle of Jallu (*) that government breaks up before christmas.

konna
Aug 1, 2005


:captainpop: Sipilä real doll.

Sulphagnist
Oct 10, 2006

WARNING! INTRUDERS DETECTED

I had to scroll back thinking "Why didn't he put in a funny picture of Sipilä?" before I noticed it was a wax sculpture realdoll.

As far as I've gathered Essayah is the same kind of insane Räsänen was, she just hasn't had the opportunity to talk about the gays on TV yet and might have the nous to shut up about them for now.

Cerebral Bore
Apr 21, 2010


Fun Shoe

Stefu posted:

Let us all pray to Ukko that this thread does not suck as hard as the last one:

:laffo:

throw to first DAMN IT
Apr 10, 2007
This whole thread has been raging at the people who don't want Saracen invasion to their homes

Perhaps you too should be more accepting of their cultures
Eat the rich.

Triple A
Jul 14, 2010

Your sword, sahib.
DEHUMANIZE YOURSELF AND FACE THE SHITPOST

DarkCrawler
Apr 6, 2009

by vyelkin
So is the consensus that Kokoomus folded? They do get some the privatization stuff through but Kepu seems to have got pretty much what it wanted.

Rappaport
Oct 2, 2013



3,5 vuotta jäljellä! :holy:

kikkelivelho
Aug 27, 2015

Kokkarit got their privatizations, Kepu got their 18 hallintohimmelis and Persus avoid implosion. A win for everyone.

Hyvä Suomi. Luottamus on palannut. Huominen näyttää taas kirkkaammalta.

a cyborg mug
Mar 8, 2010



Rappaport posted:

3,5 vuotta jäljellä! :holy:

lol

SnowblindFatal
Jan 7, 2011
SIPILÄ PROMISED HE WOULD DISMANTLE THE GOVERNMENT

HE PROMISED

Sulphagnist
Oct 10, 2006

WARNING! INTRUDERS DETECTED

Kokoomus realized they can privatize poo poo and there's still that whole slate of legislation Sipilä is happy to help push through. This is the best possible coalition for them and the best possible sote package for them from the best possible coalition.

"Freedom of choice" is essentially a poison pill. It'll gnaw at the system from the inside. Sweden went with the model and costs didn't go down. When the costs won't go down because of "freedom of choice", Kokoomus can deflect blame and say it's because of too many sote regions instead. Keskustas people probably saw the poison pill coming, but seem to be content with having secured their position for the current generation of their political class.

Sulphagnist fucked around with this message at 13:07 on Nov 7, 2015

Meta-Mollusk
May 2, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Grimey Drawer
Wouldn't mind having some kinky and sinful extramarital sex with that Päivi Räsänen chick, amirite guys? :heysexy:

SnowblindFatal
Jan 7, 2011
I think that since PS has currently 0 negotiation power, Kepu and Kock want to keep the government together as long as possible.

They're holding the PS party hostage!

SnowblindFatal
Jan 7, 2011

Meta-Mollusk posted:

Wouldn't mind having some kinky and sinful extramarital sex with that Päivi Räsänen chick, amirite guys? :heysexy:

I would love to slip in some LSD drops to her dinner.

Sulphagnist
Oct 10, 2006

WARNING! INTRUDERS DETECTED

SnowblindFatal posted:

I think that since PS has currently 0 negotiation power, Kepu and Kock want to keep the government together as long as possible.

They're holding the PS party hostage!

Yeah, PS has no bargaining power whatsoever and Kepu and Kok are free to go completely off the reservation on any point in the coalition program because the only thing Soini can do about it is also the last thing he wants to do.

SnowblindFatal
Jan 7, 2011
Ooh, nice thread tag!

Rappaport
Oct 2, 2013

In other news, the lolkansalais"aloite" for a referendum on staying in the Euro is some 800+ signatures away from going to hallintomandariinit never to be spoken of again

This is the face of the opposition to our neo-lib overlords :(

Well, that and pop singer Arhis who does acrobatics photo-bombing!

Hob_Gadling
Jul 6, 2007

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Grimey Drawer
Vittujen kevät with the compromise.

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Pillbug

laitahan tämä opeeseen oopee

a cyborg mug
Mar 8, 2010



Hogge Wild posted:

laitahan tämä opeeseen oopee

korvaa saman tien koko sepustus sillä

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Pillbug

CAT rear end now!!! posted:

korvaa saman tien koko sepustus sillä

kannatetaan

No. 1 Callie Fan
Feb 17, 2011

This inkling is your FRIEND
She fights for LOVE
Sipilä's tantrum got some results, but in typical fashion Helsinki will get to foot the SoTe-bill for rural hicks.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Hogge Wild posted:

kannatetaan

i love chicken!! let's chicken

George Rouncewell
Jul 20, 2007

You think that's illegal? Heh, watch this.
This loving compromise. Only things it will accomplish is adding one more layer of self-sustaining bureaucracy to our healthcare system and boost Attendo's stock a little.

endlessmonotony
Nov 4, 2009

by Fritz the Horse
It's a compromise where we get the worst side of everything and everyone's boned because infighting gets in the way of solving the problem in any way.

It's a very Finnish compromise. It may not be the solution we need, but by Ukko, it's the solution we deserve.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

endlessmonotony posted:

It's a compromise where we get the worst side of everything and everyone's boned because infighting gets in the way of solving the problem in any way.

It's a very Finnish compromise. It may not be the solution we need, but by Ukko, it's the solution we deserve.

Finland is achieving its greatest goal: becoming America.

His Divine Shadow
Aug 7, 2000

I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.
Can almost replace america with finland in this article
https://medium.com/@girlziplocked/why-amazon-isn-t-a-loving-idiot-and-runs-a-deficit-f9d5734b68ec

DanTheFryingPan
Jan 28, 2006
It's official, Suomi is now kunnossa. Thanks Sipilä et al!

Justufinhaamu
Nov 12, 2008
kepu pettää aina

vuohi
Nov 22, 2004
Great tag, great OP, great first page.

frajaq
Jan 30, 2009

#acolyte GM of 2014


benis

throw to first DAMN IT
Apr 10, 2007
This whole thread has been raging at the people who don't want Saracen invasion to their homes

Perhaps you too should be more accepting of their cultures
Is there some vaalipromise left that Sipilä has not shat on yet? I know, I know, politicians and promises but most of them just quietly pretend that situation has changed over years, whereas Sipilä seems to go thro them with chainsaw.

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Pillbug

benis in bagina :----DDDDDDDDDDd

Sulphagnist
Oct 10, 2006

WARNING! INTRUDERS DETECTED

Did Sipilä really make any promises? He was a quintessential centre-right politician right up until the election campaign started and that he spent in radio silence. My guess is that he got persuaded by neoliberal shock doctrine sometime in 2014 and having drunk the kool-aid realized that talking about such things in the open before the election would be risky so he just avoided saying anything, you know, for the good of the country. Those rubes might not make Kepu the biggest party if they knew he was ready to do all these necessary reforms!

Fish of hemp
Apr 1, 2011

A friendly little mouse!
Juha was on sick leave, what six months before the election. He didn't say anything at all during that time. And his popularity just kept rising and rising. It was so bizarre.

kikkelivelho
Aug 27, 2015

Puistokemisti posted:

Is there some vaalipromise left that Sipilä has not shat on yet? I know, I know, politicians and promises but most of them just quietly pretend that situation has changed over years, whereas Sipilä seems to go thro them with chainsaw.

I guess we could join NATO? The Stubmeister and some of the Kepu guys would probably enjoy that.

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Pillbug
nauran ulos lujaa

likuri sai taas ehdonalaista

inshallah, sukupolven päästä ruotsalaisia ei enää ole

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Oldsmobile
Jun 13, 2006

I obviously have no idea how the social services and healthcare reform package will go down since I suppose they're still working on details.

BUT

Based on what has been suggested, here's my take:

- it's probably against the constitution, especially the weird 18+15 system, but possibly other aspects as well
- it's going to make the our health care system incredibly complicated and hard to control
- it will increase bureaucracy and make things more complicated to control
- it will increase costs due to complexity, constant flux and difficulty in planning
- it will make defining and gauging the big picture of healthcare very difficult

- it will probably be a system for large healthcare companies to pump tax monies
- it will probably divide the system between the well off and poo poo poor
- it will probably not fix any of the problems our current system has

- it's not a free market system, since it's all about large health care companies getting government contracts
- it's not a socialist system, since there's a voucher system
- it's not a mixed system since it fucks over all small time operators

So basically, it's poo poo but on the other hand the people deciding were probably high on speed or just stupid or both.

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