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psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES



(aka TART BERRIES)

Welcome noobs, again, to Newbie Iron Chef Something Awful. I humbly invite you to participate in our beloved tradition, this time based on a 'murican holiday theme!


CRANBERRIES!!! (or tart berries, for you non-cranberry-havers)

Cranberries are a major commercial crop in certain 'murican states and Canadian provinces. Most cranberries are processed into products such as juice, sauce, jam, and sweetened dried cranberries, with the remainder sold fresh to consumers. Cranberry sauce is a traditional accompaniment to turkey at Christmas dinner in the United Kingdom and Thanksgiving dinners in the United States and Canadia.

People claim cranberries are a SUPERFRUIT!!!


There was also a band named after them... I think they are still around? Or maybe they are zombies now.

Your Challege:

Create three (3) dishes highlighting CRANBERRIES (or tart berries, to include lingonberry, currant (any color), elderberry, etc... If you are uncertain about your berry choice, please ask beforehand).

Document these with photos and text. Then make a post of your endeavor with NICSA 17 in the beginning of the thread title (yes, I see the irony here) and link that thread to this thread.

Remember, NICSA is a cooking challenge, aimed towards those readers who have not competed in such things before, designed to be less intimidating by removing professionals and previous winners from competition. Any goon is welcome and encouraged to enter, regular member of the GWS community or not!

The Rules :

1. Newbies Only - Previous ICSA winners, regular entrants, and those who make a living in the food business are not eligible for final voting.

2. Please post entries as a separate post in Something Offal, and post a link to it in this thread. as stated above.

3. Pics or it didn't happen. Show us your creation!

4. The Chairman reserves the right to disqualify any entry.

You have 4 weeks this time because of the "holiday." Entries are due Saturday, December 5, 2015 at Midnight CST (GMT-6). Voting will run through December 12, 2015.

In addition to the respect of our fellow goons (yeah, right) our winner as chosen by the esteemed voters will receive a $30 gift certificate to nuts.com

And so I say unto you...

ALLEZ CUISINE!!!

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Suspect Bucket
Jan 14, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR


Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay I know one of the dishes I'm doing. The other two will require research.

Scientastic
Mar 1, 2010

TRULY scientastic.


Three dishes? I thought NICSA was traditionally one dish?

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES



Scientastic posted:

Three dishes? I thought NICSA was traditionally one dish?

I am assuming there will be a dish of "sauce" and a dish of "drink;" and in four weeks, I think three small-ish dishes is perfectly acceptable, and I will leave that up to our entrants. Besides, one major cranberry dish? I dunno.

ETA: NICSA rules have always been up to the chairperson afaik. I really just didn't want people to submit one dish of sauce/jam, and I didn't want to explicitly exclude sauce/jam.

psychokitty fucked around with this message at Nov 9, 2015 around 16:16

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


Three dishes! *nervous*

Time to come up with ideas!

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

We will fight them to the last. And we will defend those that cannot defend themselves. Today we fight, brothers and sisters. Today we stand up and never, ever relent. Brothers and sisters -- prepare yourselves. Today we go to WAR!


Lipstick Apathy

gently caress. I saw the other post too late... why did you jerks vote for cranberries

Suspect Bucket
Jan 14, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR


Fenrir posted:

gently caress. I saw the other post too late... why did you jerks vote for cranberries

To screw you over. Duh.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


Suspect Bucket posted:

To screw you over. Duh.

*high five*

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES



Give it a go, Fenrir. You can always put tons of onions in your cranberry dishes.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


psychokitty posted:

Give it a go, Fenrir. You can always put tons of onions in your cranberry dishes.

Mouth. Watering. Cranberry and caramelized onions sounds divine.

whoredog
Apr 10, 2002



psychokitty posted:

Give it a go, Fenrir. You can always put tons of onions in your cranberry dishes.

I'm glad there's 3 things needed, because 1 of mine will do this!

rysfade
Mar 31, 2009


I'm a complete newb (hardcore lurker), but I LOVE cranberries. I'm in.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


rysfade posted:

I'm a complete newb (hardcore lurker), but I LOVE cranberries. I'm in.

Do it up! The more the merrier!

We need to cran in as many entries as possible to have a berry good competition

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES



Brawnfire posted:

Do it up! The more the merrier!

We need to cran in as many entries as possible to have a berry good competition

You are truly an inspiration.

Merkin Muffley
Aug 1, 2006
The Ballsiest

I can do marvelous things with cranberries, time to stop lurking and start posting in something other than the beer thread, I'm in!!!

Suspect Bucket
Jan 14, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR


I've done one of the dishes so far. I'll be doing these kinda piecemeal, as time allows.

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES



All good! Glad to hear progress is being made. Y'all have less than 3 weeks.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


I accidentally did a dry run of my dessert because I forgot to take pictures past a pot full of cranberries...

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES



TWO WEEKS REMAIN!!!

Captain Bravo
Feb 16, 2011

An Emergency Shitpost
has been deployed...

...but experts warn it is
just a drop in the ocean.

Ugh, I bought a big ol' 5-pound bag of cranberries two weeks ago, then got sick as a dog back-to-back. I think I'm just gonna wait for the next NICSA.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


How many roads must a cranberry, before you can berry a cran?

Idfk

http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3752714

Veritek83
Jul 7, 2008

The Irish can't drink. What you always have to remember with the Irish is they get mean. Virtually every Irish I've known gets mean when he drinks.


That looks great and it's inspired me to maybe get in one this. Let's see if I can stay motivated to cook this weekend after the big family dinner on Thursday.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


Veritek83 posted:

That looks great and it's inspired me to maybe get in one this. Let's see if I can stay motivated to cook this weekend after the big family dinner on Thursday.

Do itttt! Gimme some competition!

Suspect Bucket
Jan 14, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR


I WAS going to do my ace-in-the-hole dish today, but it turns out we have a fridge full of leftovers that have to be cleaned out before thanksgiving. UGH. And y'all are going to loving LOVE IT if I ever get to do it.

SomethingLiz
Jan 23, 2009


I'm new to this but it sounds like fun. Are the entries supposed to be "Google 3 cranberry dishes and cook them", or "invent 3 cranberry dishes from your imagination"?

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES



SomethingLiz posted:

I'm new to this but it sounds like fun. Are the entries supposed to be "Google 3 cranberry dishes and cook them", or "invent 3 cranberry dishes from your imagination"?

Whatever you wanna do, baby.

rysfade
Mar 31, 2009


I did a thing and popped my NICSA cranberry.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3753754

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES



Less than one week remains. Cran in those entries, goons!

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


psychokitty posted:

Less than one week remains. Cran in those entries, goons!

BUMP! We need more competition!!!

Suspect Bucket
Jan 14, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR


I'm so sorry, but I'm not able to get it done. Things have just not gone my way these past weeks, and now my stove is broken. Which is a pity, because I really wanted to try this weird cranberry pumpkin soup thing I found. I did do one dish, my Cranberry Chicken Salad, and I suppose i'll be eating the cranberry cheese log out of necessity now.

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES



Suspect Bucket posted:

I'm so sorry, but I'm not able to get it done. Things have just not gone my way these past weeks, and now my stove is broken. Which is a pity, because I really wanted to try this weird cranberry pumpkin soup thing I found. I did do one dish, my Cranberry Chicken Salad, and I suppose i'll be eating the cranberry cheese log out of necessity now.

Post them anyway!

Ben Nevis
Jan 20, 2011


Brawnfire posted:

BUMP! We need more competition!!!

I have an entry. I'm just trying to get a post together.

Ben Nevis
Jan 20, 2011


There. A cranberrying.

Veritek83
Jul 7, 2008

The Irish can't drink. What you always have to remember with the Irish is they get mean. Virtually every Irish I've known gets mean when he drinks.


Nice. I was wondering if anyone would try something BBQ-ish.

I just got back from grocery shopping and will hopefully get something up tonight or more likely tomorrow, after cooking tonight.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


Veritek83 posted:

Nice. I was wondering if anyone would try something BBQ-ish.

I just got back from grocery shopping and will hopefully get something up tonight or more likely tomorrow, after cooking tonight.

Somebody likes working close to the wire!

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES



Brawnfire posted:

Somebody likes working close to the wire!

Veritek83
Jul 7, 2008

The Irish can't drink. What you always have to remember with the Irish is they get mean. Virtually every Irish I've known gets mean when he drinks.


And we've had a major dessert mishap. Probably has something to do with the liberal pour while making the punch.

I'll figure out just how bad things are and either roll with it, or re-cook tomorrow. Still should be able to get everything up before midnight.

Esme
Nov 4, 2009

hello i am your heart how nice to meet you


I'll be getting in a last minute entry shortly!

gently caress I forgot to put NICSA17 in the title Here it is anyway http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3754563

Esme fucked around with this message at Dec 5, 2015 around 05:38

Veritek83
Jul 7, 2008

The Irish can't drink. What you always have to remember with the Irish is they get mean. Virtually every Irish I've known gets mean when he drinks.


I think the Cranberries were one of the first albums I got from Columbia House or BMG for a penny. I wish I'd gone a bit further with the 90s alt-rock shtick.

NICSA 17- Cranberries- Everybody Else Is Cooking Them, So Why Can't We?

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psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES



YOU HAVE 10 HOURS!!!

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