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MrsAdiabatic
Feb 26, 2015

Gotta get up to get Down's


Oh poo poo. Box received. Picture update when I get back to the barracks.

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Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008




Calendar found!

:siren: CHOWDOWN SPOTTED, THIS IS NOT A DRILL :siren:



2016: THE YEAR TO CHOW DOWN

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!


:vince:

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008




Let's get all of these collected in a single post.

[timg]http://i.imgur.com/QZ9oBG2.jpg][/timg]





























Dead Reckoning
Sep 13, 2011


MrsAdiabatic posted:

Oh poo poo. Box received. Picture update when I get back to the barracks.

I just want you all to know that I'm denying any responsibility for whatever happened to MrsAdiabatic after he opened that box.

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008




Dead Reckoning posted:

I just want you all to know that I'm denying any responsibility for whatever happened to MrsAdiabatic after he opened that box.

Duty NCO made the mistake of asking "so, what's in the box?" :twisted:

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


I just got home from the airport and found a box full of :magical:

Identify yourself Santa, it's going to take a while to read the...document you sent.

Pics soon
:hitler:

Nostalgia4Dogges
Jun 18, 2004

Only emojis can express my pure, simple stupidity.





Gonna have to tell him Santa isn't coming this year pretty soon...

Nostalgia4Dogges
Jun 18, 2004

Only emojis can express my pure, simple stupidity.



You loving kidding me. I knew the day I posted itd come be right back

Nostalgia4Dogges
Jun 18, 2004

Only emojis can express my pure, simple stupidity.



Don't know about this one better let the TSA dog on it



STOP CHEWING



hangouts jokes



His first gigantic bone. I've actually been meaning to get him a fuckoff huge bone


Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KC7UWzIFTWY


The booze will make a good regift. The BAC is a good party favor wish I had it sooner :(

Thanks dude!

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


Today I returned from the airport to find a box waiting for me.

No name, just a return address.


What's in the box?


Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.



What appears to be a hand-carved dick bottle opener, and two hand carved dick candles. The real gift is that sheaf of paper. Eleven double-sided pages of the most sexually charged Adolf Hitler fanfic ever made, interspersed with song lyrics. Little bits of Nine Inch Nails, Bon Jovi, Pleasure Avalanche and more inserted into the Fuehrer's most passionate of hate fucks with Eva in the Fuehrerbunker, sexual experimentation with his boyhood pal August Kubizek while attending Wagner, visiting a Jewish prostitute, and some light BDSM/incest with Geli, the girl who Adi would be the original creepy uncle to.

And I'm only halfway through reading it. Thanks Santa!

Nostalgia4Dogges
Jun 18, 2004

Only emojis can express my pure, simple stupidity.



loving LOL that wooden phallus

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av


11 pages of hitler fanfic sounds like shim


Also, that's an awesome dogge you got there N4D :woof:

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


Well the fanfic had a twist ending of it all being a dream of a lesbian autist. I'm scanning it if my santa doesn't upload the original file because it is pure gold.

E: Those dick candles have a fierce fruit smell. They're unlit and filled my apartment with strawberry-ish scent. It's actually nice since nothing could get rid of whatever smell the apartment had when I rented it.

EBB fucked around with this message at 00:39 on Jan 1, 2016

tyler
Jun 2, 2014



Sorry it took so long santee. Package is sent.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


So, uh, Bueller? Bueller? N4I you care to tell me who my guy is?

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av


EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

So, uh, Bueller? Bueller? N4I you care to tell me who my guy is?

It's secret santa dude












if no one claims it just post that return address :getin:

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


Return address is NYC so that narrows it down.

Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Time Crisis Actor
Apr 28, 2002


I sexually identify as a fat tinder girl,

Yeah lemme just clean my pannus first.

These candles smell amazing btw


Glad you enjoyed it Eeeeb. Etsy is fabulous for dick-related gifts. That cock-opener took like three weeks to arrive from Bulgaria, which is why it took so long to get the box to you.

On the other hand, that thing had s TON of dust on it when I got it, which tells me that it was probably in some poor Slav family collection for generations.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


Deathy McDeath posted:

Glad you enjoyed it Eeeeb. Etsy is fabulous for dick-related gifts. That cock-opener took like three weeks to arrive from Bulgaria, which is why it took so long to get the box to you.

On the other hand, that thing had s TON of dust on it when I got it, which tells me that it was probably in some poor Slav family collection for generations.

Deathy, you are the poet of our generation. Care to post your story or should I scan it?

Time Crisis Actor
Apr 28, 2002


I sexually identify as a fat tinder girl,

Yeah lemme just clean my pannus first.

These candles smell amazing btw


G'head and post it

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


Well gentlemen, here it is. Deathy's magnum opus in 22 pages. First couple are timg'd and the rest are in the album. Take a half hour and read this thing of beauty.

http://imgur.com/a/PLq8X


beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av


:magical:

MrsAdiabatic
Feb 26, 2015

Gotta get up to get Down's


I guess Brad Pitt from Se7en was channeling here, because yesterday was the first day of "WHAT'S IN THE BOX" at the company mail room. So two customs checks weren't enough and someone is standing over my shoulder; I carefully opened the mysterious package.



I'm actually disappointed it wasn't glitter bombed at this point, because gently caress that guy breathing down my neck. On top, a letter. I'll read it aloud so the whole class can hear. Hey! You shitlords doing your Article 15 hearing with the door open! Shut the gently caress I'm reading poetry.



Of course someone had to look up Tom's, thinking it would be less dubious on a government computer than the Sport Fucker. As the 1LT's face sinks in horror when the webpage loads, my Grinch heart grows two sizes. Let's keep digging.



Holy poo poo. An autographed promo card for the World's Deadliest Downsy, the Extra Chromsome Crusher, the Mongoloid Mauler, motherfuckin' G-MONEY HIS GOD drat SELF WHAAAAAT! I immediately put it in a document protector. I know a collector's item when I see it. Selling that in 20 years, if I can bring myself to do it, is going to put my bastards through college. Or pay off my parole board. Maybe both.



Every uniform I've been issued can SMDFTB, just like the branch that gave it to me. This shirt is my duty uniform now. I'll loving fight anyone that tries to make me take it off.



Top got a little wrinkled in the photo, but it says "#I SPY A BOLD WARRIOR". In case you didn't know G Money is firing on all three 21st chromosomes, here's a children's rhyme reference to let you know he's mentally handicapped. Handicapable. Just like me. And all of you for ever being in.

UFC paraphernalia sifted, I dug in to the heavier contents at the bottom.



Some dope rear end trail mix. I don't think I mentioned it on GiP anywhere, but I'm doing the stereotypical deployment hyperdiet and obsessive exercise thing and it was awesome to find stuff I can eat guilt free. Thanks, Dead Reckoning. And that's not even all.



Those spiced mangoes are making me question what's wrong with my taste buds. I don't taste any pepper at all until after I've eaten the fruit. Apparently I'm the only one with that delay between flavors. All those dicks must have rubbed my tongue raw. VA claim disability, 20% for loss of sense.



I see I'm not the first to taste DFAC food. Thanks again Comrade. The food here is truly monotonous. Gonna have some bomb rear end chicken tonight. I am a total bitch when it comes to spicy food, and all of those are well within my tolerance. Starting to think you know an uncomfortable amount of information about me...



Some much needed reading material, and coincidentally before a long rear end guard shift in an electronics prohibited room. Going to crush this whole thing on Sunday.

After seeing the Case of the Missing Calendar in this thread, I had to inspect the packing material to be sure I wasn't missing something.



I was.


Thanks again, Dead Reckoning. You really did get an XO flagged for opening a gay website on his NIPR system. GiP: Christmas Queer Cheer to everyone in earshot.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?


That might be the greatest non-fleshlight care package ever.

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009


the most hosed up thing in that hdi box was the order 1886

Helldump Immunity.
Aug 2, 2013

Fuck you


:agreed:

Dead Reckoning
Sep 13, 2011


MrsAdiabatic posted:

Thanks again, Dead Reckoning. You really did get an XO flagged for opening a gay website on his NIPR system. GiP: Christmas Queer Cheer to everyone in earshot.
Glad you liked it. I think you'll enjoy the book, it's sort of like if GiP wrote A Clockwork Orange.

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 3, 2006

i never asked for this


Just gonna link an imgur gallery because I am so lazy. The black mug is the one from last year.

Good gift!

http://imgur.com/a/kyw3k

The images are sideways and I don't give a gently caress.


Also according to tracking my package arrived on 30 December and my santee hasn't posted yet. Show yourself!

Fart Sandwiches fucked around with this message at 15:15 on Jan 3, 2016

Carteret
Nov 10, 2012




Are those pubes? Tell me those are pubes.

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av


of course they're pubes

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?


Carteret posted:

Are those pubes? Tell me those are pubes.

I will not answer this question.

For the sake of easy viewing, this is the image on that wraparound mug:

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av


send me those pubes and I will use them to convict godholio on a few cases that have stalled out recently

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?


"Why did he stop to shave his pubes over the bodies he hit in the school zone?" :confused:

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!


Don't ask questions that you don't want the answers to.

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1YC-1B3lhU

bonus spanish version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7D7T36HGbE

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed




Grimey Drawer

Fart Sandwiches posted:

Also according to tracking my package arrived on 30 December and my santee hasn't posted yet. Show yourself!

if i'm your santee i haven't received anything

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 3, 2006

i never asked for this


Mike-o posted:

if i'm your santee i haven't received anything

Not you! Hope you get yours soon :ohdear:

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Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Your satan has until the 10th for your gift to arrive. I'll be posting a reminder at the end of the week for people who haven't gotten their stuff to let me know. :redhammer:

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