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nomadologique posted:You can definitely crim ein your sleep my man, I have just the crime for you: it's called smurfing, and it's when you use malware to turn a bunch of strangers' computers into a network to spam dickpill ads to other strangers via email. These dickpill ads contain more links to more malware, adding yet more computers to your network. That's just what smurfs call loving.
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Nov 10, 2015 11:04
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Lowtax posted:Do any of you have experience creating crimes, and is it legal where you are? What are the preferred crimes you like to do? Any tips or tricks would be appreciated. Here's an idea I had: Go to barber shop and get a bunch of hair off the floor when nobody's looking. Now, when you do a crime, sprinkle the hair clippings around the crime scene, if you're lucky there will be a whole bunch of different people's hair. Now, when they do trace evidence and analyze the hair, they will get DNA for like a whole bunch of people and it will confuse the royal poo poo out of them so bad, I bet they won't know what's what! Except I guess they might be able to tell the hairs have been cut with scissors and might figure it out. I'm not a criminal that's just a cool crime idea I had. Never heard of anyone trying this.
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Nov 10, 2015 11:16
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I recommend visa overstay and music piracy.
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Nov 10, 2015 11:18
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Personally I enjoy raiding homes. If you know someone there and can get access via someone who lives at the home, what's the crime?
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Nov 10, 2015 11:19
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peanut posted:I recommend visa overstay and music piracy. Your user name reminds one never to go in without one's setup.
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Nov 10, 2015 11:20
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If you are going to crime then don't waste time on piffling things like cutting hair or "smurfing": you got to go federal. Something about transporting stuff across state lines? Steal a dirt bike and ride it out of your hell-hole mid-western state to somewhere cooler
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Nov 10, 2015 11:24
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we have blue and white collar crime here but i havent heard of any other colour collar crime so maybe if you wore a yellow collar say, you could get away with crime
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Nov 10, 2015 11:25
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concerned mom posted:we have blue and white collar crime here but i havent heard of any other colour collar crime so maybe if you wore a yellow collar say, you could get away with crime Yellow collar crime is just white collar crime committed by dirty people.
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Nov 10, 2015 11:31
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Throw a mcdonalds bag out your car window while driving. No loving laws
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Nov 10, 2015 11:38
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You should definitely throw a seed of some kind at somebody.
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Nov 10, 2015 11:51
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crime doesn't pay, op. even when it's not illegal
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Nov 10, 2015 12:00
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Lowtax posted:I want to do some crimes that are fun, exciting, and profitable. Also I don't want to exert a significant amount of energy in the process, and I'd really prefer it if I could use a dirt bike in the process, for whatever reason. A low effort dirt bike based crime that is profitable, that's a tough one. The lowest effort dirt bike related crime I can think of is to ride one without a helmet but I don't know how profitable that will be, hth OP.
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Nov 10, 2015 12:01
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Are we including thought crime?
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Nov 10, 2015 12:28
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I think in the Crimea its legal, i mean its even in the name.
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Nov 10, 2015 12:35
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i heard once that international waters are a crime free zone so maybe try that? good luck OP hth hand
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Nov 10, 2015 12:48
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i'm pretty sure stealing my heart is a crime. in which case, you are already a criminal.
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Nov 10, 2015 12:59
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Steal a fish.
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Nov 10, 2015 13:02
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lowtax is like, the opposite of balding every time i see him, his hairline just gets lower props to you lowtax for passing on this gene
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Nov 10, 2015 13:23
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Become a pimp Lowtax. It's an easy job that only requires slapping ho's and depositing the green under your mattress. And you can gently caress your inventory too! In most parts of Los Angeles county it's legal if you give the po po a cut.
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Nov 10, 2015 15:51
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please contact me for the perfect crime all the info you need for only 
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Nov 10, 2015 16:00
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Maldoror posted:Here's an idea I had: lol it happens all the time, the reason you dont hear about it is because it works
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Nov 10, 2015 16:16
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Crime is illegal here but I hear it's legal in the poor black part of town. You might have someplace similar where you can do crime without interference from "the fuzz"
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Nov 10, 2015 16:19
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1gnoirents posted:lol it happens all the time, the reason you dont hear about it is because it works But it doesn't. All the police need to do is go down to the science labs, talk with the science geek there, and he'll run all the hair dna in super fast looking computer. Then it'll show 3 barber shops where the people could have gotten their hair cut. Its only a matter of time before they get you, usually 8 minutes before the next show.
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Nov 10, 2015 16:20
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Lowtax posted:I want to do some crimes that are fun, exciting, and profitable. Also I don't want to exert a significant amount of energy in the process, and I'd really prefer it if I could use a dirt bike in the process, for whatever reason. do flips over old ladies on your dirt bike and snatch their purses while they are mesmerized
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Nov 10, 2015 16:57
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Here are some cool dirt bike related crimes that involve selling socks online: Threaten to ruin yours or someone else's Grandmothers lawn if they don't provide comfortable knitted socks by the end of the week. If they do provide it you get free socks to sell online at high high prices. If they don't provide it you get to ride your dirt bike all over their yard and ruin their rose bushes. I call this next crime "Sock Snatching". Essentially you pretend to fall off your dirt bike. When someone comes over to see if you are okay either you or an accomplice throws a hive of bees at them. When they are running around tell them to take off their socks and throw them as it will get rid of the bees. It doesn't get rid of the bees. Take their socks as they run away crying and you got yourself a pair of free socks my friend! If you want to incorporate heavy lifting into the equation, this one is for you! Sneak into a gym, steal seventeen of their heavy weights. Call them up and threaten to kill the weights if they don't deliver at least 10 pairs of socks. Make the pick up in your dirt bike as this will look flipping sweet. Sell the socks online to the people that had just had their socks taken from them. You will make lots of money!!!!!
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Nov 10, 2015 16:59
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I learned recently about this dude who falsified tax credits for historic property revivals and made a few million bucks. He just got greedy and went to jail. Lowtax have you considered getting into the preservationist fraud game?
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Nov 10, 2015 16:59
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Isaac posted:Throw a mcdonalds bag out your car window while driving. No loving laws This is just hosed up....only a truly degenerate, execrable individual would do such a thing
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Nov 10, 2015 17:00
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Apparently rape is OK if she asks for it.
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Nov 10, 2015 17:03
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They never arrested WWE tag team Cryme Tyme so I'm pretty sure cryme is legal. Not sure if that's the same as crime, but I bet you can use that as a defence in court!
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Nov 10, 2015 17:20
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You should prank call suckers, be sure to *67 though
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Nov 10, 2015 17:22
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Low tax have you tried loitering. It's like the gateway crime to hard poo poo like identity theft
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Nov 10, 2015 17:34
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i do crime. im a crimeanal.
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Nov 10, 2015 17:39
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Don't, lowtax, it is illegal
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Nov 10, 2015 17:57
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A misanthrope posted:i do crime. im a crimeanal. we dont talk about project mayhem
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Nov 10, 2015 18:03
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Quote-Unquote posted:Don't, lowtax, it is illegal
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Nov 10, 2015 18:03
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if you ever change your mind, just own a bank. the bigger the better. if your bank is big enough you can literally launder money for drug cartels and the feds will just shrug and say "welllll if we prosecute, the market might take a tumble."
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Nov 10, 2015 18:11
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Quote-Unquote posted:Don't, lowtax, it is illegal also printing these up and putting them up around work after hours is great
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Nov 10, 2015 18:12
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Lowtax posted:Okay, I changed my mind about it anyway, thank you. I don't feel like making a crime today, it's kinda cold out and I'm sleepy.
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Nov 10, 2015 18:13
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dad gay. so what posted:we dont talk about project mayhem i dont have anything to add except that was really funny 10/10
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Nov 10, 2015 18:17
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stealing poo poo and killing is legal where I live but you have to be really wealthy, which kinda defeats its purpose.
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Nov 10, 2015 18:20
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