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SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.


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Thanks to MA-Horus for thread title inspiration

I've been in a coma for 8 years, what game is this?
Mass Effect was released in November 2007. Made by Bioware in partnership with Microsoft Studios it was originally an Xbox 360 exclusive, then later was ported to the PC and finally to Playstation in 2012. It is a sci-fi action RPG. Released to critical acclaim it spawned a trilogy, a shitfit about bad ends, and some really terrible fans who make posts on the Bioware forums about Tali's sweat.

In the game we play as Commander Shepard, a soldier in the future Human Systems Alliance. Stolen Sourced from Wikipedia: Mass Effect is set in the year 2183. Thirty-five years earlier, humankind discovered a cache of technology on Mars, supposedly built by a technologically advanced but long-extinct species called the Protheans. Studying and adapting this technology, humanity has managed to break free of the solar system and has established numerous colonies and encountered various extraterrestrial species within the Milky Way galaxy. Utilizing alien artifacts known as Mass Relays, the various space-faring species are able to travel instantly across vast stretches of the galaxy. Within the game, humanity has formed the Human Systems Alliance, one of many independent bodies that make up the collective of "Citadel space"

Commander Shepard is fairly iconic at this point, voiced by Mark Meer on the dude side and Jennifer Hale for lady Shepard. Originally they weren't going to offer a choice of gender, and adding FemShep was more or less an afterthought. This resulted in FemShep having almost identical dialogue, no ridiculous sashaying walk, and no "feminine" bullshit like weeping over lost motherhood. FemShep is a straight-up badass soldier and the only dumb holdover is that her armor has boobs. Femshep can also be gay (well, close enough anyway) where ManShep can't touch a pee-pee until Mass Effect 3. This was released in 2007 and people just weren't ready for the balls to touch. To this day something like 80% of people play default John Shepard, soldier, proving at least 80% of people are dumb.

Gameplay
ME is fairly old-school RPG. You have to level up not only your abilities, but also your guns. If you don't then you'll shoot like you're drunk, your weapons will overheat faster and they'll do less damage. Magic in this game is known as Biotics, but it's still spell-flinging. We're gonna be playing as a Vanguard. They're relatively OP in the original, but get progressively more crazy in the later games until nothing can loving kill you, even on insanity. Combat level is set to casual, because the combat in this game is poo poo. I've done an insanity run for the trophy and I never intend to do that again. We're here for the important part, the story.

ME doesn't have an approval/disapproval system like DA so you don't have to worry about your squadmates leaving and can be a raging rear end in a top hat as much as you want - even to someone you want to romance as long as you pick the right options at the right time. Instead it has the "Paragon/Renegade" system where you get points for taking certain actions. The scores run in parallel so if you choose a Paragon option and then a Renegade option they don't cancel each other out; instead you get + however many points for that tree. It's not possible to max out both in a normal playthrough, however there is a way to cheat this, even on console. I'll be doing that ASAP in order to allow us maximum dialogue options for the rest of the game. You have to pass a "check" to get some options and if your score isn't high enough that particular dialogue is greyed out and can't be chosen.

I have to go.
Since we can't lose squadmates and I'm going to cheat us maximum personality, I'll be all over the place with my dialogue. I do tend to play my Shepards on the good side because some of the renegade options are just assholish and stupid and don't do anything for us. Also this Butts will not remain lonely and we will do some romancing. I will punch as many people as I can without permanently loving something up. Also this game has a crapload of empty side content and I'm not going to even bother going there or trying to collect stupid poo poo. I will be doing Bring Down the Sky. This game isn't going to take us anywhere near as long as DAI (thank god).

Spoilers
This game is 8 years old. If you have somehow managed to avoid hearing or knowing anything about it then be forewarned, poo poo will get ruined for you. Talk about whatever in any of the three games (though please try to avoid too much poo poo about the ending to 3, if we get there we'll cry about it in real time). If you're just not really familiar with things feel free to ask for clarification.

Right Hook Count
1

Updates
The meteoric rise and fall of Corporal Jenkins (post)
The Beaconator (post)
Pimpin' ain't easy (post)
Enemy is everywhere! (post)
Mako love out of nothing at all (post)
Elevate me (post)
Cheaters prosper (post)
loving Batarians (post)
Stop the rock (post)
Callback cavalcade (post)
Bug spray (post)
Map needs debugging (post)
Mother's Day (post)
Knight errand (post)
Mixed nuts (post)
Geth who (post)
Feed me Seymour (post)
Personal personnel (post)
Styx Theta (post)
Beach Blanket Blasto (post)
Ashley's rear end in ashes (post)
For posterity's sake (post)
Crap, a pop up (post)
Sovereign citizen beatdown (post)

SubponticatePoster fucked around with this message at 05:04 on Apr 6, 2016

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SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.


Slippery Tilde

Reserved.

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.


Slippery Tilde

The meteoric rise and fall of Corporal Jenkins

Hi, I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite store on the Citadel. No wait, wrong game.

We chose colonist and sole survivor for our origin to bring maximum emo. Vanguard because later games become a race to see if you can kill everything before your teammates get a shot off (and shotguns are fuckass broken in this game along with biotics). It seems we got a shiny new ship to test out, saddled with a secret mission that of course immediately turns to poo poo.

WILL WE SURVIVE?

e: There is some audio desync for a chunk of this video. Sorry. It matched up in editing and I don't know WTF caused it.

SubponticatePoster fucked around with this message at 01:25 on Dec 11, 2015

Fire Storm
Aug 8, 2004

what's the point of life
if there are no sexborgs?


YAY! FemShep best Shep! Planning on going for maximum pain and doing all 3?

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.


Slippery Tilde

Might as well.

RickVoid
Oct 21, 2010


A new SubponticatePoster VLP?

Excellent.

Edit: Sound is desynced on the video, not a big deal, but definitely noticeable.

RickVoid fucked around with this message at 06:07 on Dec 11, 2015

Aces High
Mar 26, 2010

Nah! A little chocolate will do



this LP will probably force me to get off my rear end and finish my Vanguard playthrough since, yes, they are awesome.

ABC for life

MajesticMonkey
Mar 31, 2011


It's great to see you doing another LP, SubponticatePoster, I was afraid that doing an LP of Dragon Age: Inquisition would burn you out.

JesterOfAmerica
Sep 11, 2015


I wish you luck into mass effect buggolo of madness

grimlock_master
Nov 1, 2013


Another fine project you've started, mate. I'll be sure to follow the thread, always loved the series.

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.


Slippery Tilde

MajesticMonkey posted:

It's great to see you doing another LP, SubponticatePoster, I was afraid that doing an LP of Dragon Age: Inquisition would burn you out.
After that almost any game would be a walk in the park. The only comparable game out right now would be the Witcher, and there's probably a good reason nobody's LP'd it

I'll probably only do 2 updates per week, but without bothering to go to random planets this game runs 20-30 hours (I know I can do ME2 in 30 hours with almost every side mission). There are some side quests that carry over into the sequels so I'll be sure to do those, but "land on Grablolgarg, find a rock, open a crate" can gently caress right off. Also driving the Mako over some of those maps Nope, no thank you.

Up Circle
Apr 3, 2008


This game was insanely boring and generic except for the last 3 hours or so, basically once you get the apc rolling around on the hidden Protoss world the story finally gets interesting a little bit. The second was way more fun, even if it contributed to the death of gaming and was basically a coloring book in pc form.

Aces High
Mar 26, 2010

Nah! A little chocolate will do



one of these days I will do a run of Mass Effect and NOT visit every planet. I think Mass Effect is why I don't play jrpgs, the slog for the first one is just so much if you want to do everything

Xander77
Apr 6, 2009

Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.




I always though an LP / side content for an LP about the Commander Shepard - Biggest Fuckup might be interesting. Going through all three games trying to piss off and kill as many characters as possible. Bonus videos, maybe?

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

Fandom is misery.



Xander77 posted:

I always though an LP / side content for an LP about the Commander Shepard - Biggest Fuckup might be interesting. Going through all three games trying to piss off and kill as many characters as possible. Bonus videos, maybe?
Lt. Danger ran a Mass Effect 3 LP that was arguably this.

Anyway, good luck with this, I don't think anyone's gotten through the full trilogy on these forums.

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.


Slippery Tilde

Yeah, Danger did ME3 with default settings which is pretty much "Did I take every worst option leading up to now?" Wrex is dead, the genophage info was destroyed, you sold Legion to Cerberus - it's basically Commander Shepard's hosed Up Greatest Hits.

Doc M
Jan 6, 2011

I enjoy metal because of its dark, creepy, intense aesthetic.




Why in the gently caress is the default setting for ME3 the Worst Shepard Ever

I guess not many people played without an imported save, but you'd think the default setting would be something not terrible anyway.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

Fandom is misery.



Doc Morbid posted:

Why in the gently caress is the default setting for ME3 the Worst Shepard Ever

I guess not many people played without an imported save, but you'd think the default setting would be something not terrible anyway.
A. They wanted to incentivize people who hadn't played the previous games yet to buy them
B. They hadn't yet developed Dragon's Age Keep technology, so players could just make their own imported saves

edit: Actually watched the video, and man, is Manuel a Doctor of Foreshadology?

JT Jag fucked around with this message at 07:26 on Dec 12, 2015

Andou
Jun 12, 2014


SubponticatePoster posted:

After that almost any game would be a walk in the park. The only comparable game out right now would be the Witcher, and there's probably a good reason nobody's LP'd it

Color me curious, why has no one LP'ed The Witcher? Janky controls? Eastern European folklore being to foreign? Geralt being a curmudgeon?.

About ME1, I just console commanded that geth insta-death weapon since combat was even harder to put up with than Morrowind's imo.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

Fandom is misery.



Andou posted:

Color me curious, why has no one LP'ed The Witcher? Janky controls? Eastern European folklore being to foreign? Geralt being a curmudgeon?.
The Witcher 2 has seen a full, excellent LP by VivaVizer, which I'm vaguely surprised hasn't been added to the LP archive. The Witcher 1 saw a few abortive LPs that ended at the same place. The Witcher 3 would be an extremely difficult LP because it is loving huge, especially if you want to show off the side content.

Psion
Dec 13, 2002






Doc Morbid posted:

Why in the gently caress is the default setting for ME3 the Worst Shepard Ever

I guess not many people played without an imported save, but you'd think the default setting would be something not terrible anyway.

It's minimizing the number of callbacks to prior games that a non-import player wouldn't know about.

This is why a lot of people made a bunch of bad posts that "canon Shepard" was Renegade because of ME2. Well, no. Blank slate ME2 Shepard didn't have any of the ME1 callbacks flagged, and those happened to be Renegade options most of the time but the reasoning was removing as many past-history callbacks/flags as possible, not taking a morality stance.

I mean - who knew - when you kill every NPC you can, they don't show up in future games! Speaking of which, please save Fist. He's got the best ME2 scene.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

Fandom is misery.



Psion posted:

It's minimizing the number of callbacks to prior games that a non-import player wouldn't know about.

This is why a lot of people made a bunch of bad posts that "canon Shepard" was Renegade because of ME2. Well, no. Blank slate ME2 Shepard didn't have any of the ME1 callbacks flagged, and those happened to be Renegade options most of the time but the reasoning was removing as many past-history callbacks/flags as possible, not taking a morality stance.

I mean - who knew - when you kill every NPC you can, they don't show up in future games! Speaking of which, please save Fist. He's got the best ME2 scene.
His getting killed is one of the best character scenes in this game though! It's a tough call.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




JT Jag posted:

The Witcher 2 has seen a full, excellent LP by VivaVizer, which I'm vaguely surprised hasn't been added to the LP archive. The Witcher 1 saw a few abortive LPs that ended at the same place. The Witcher 3 would be an extremely difficult LP because it is loving huge, especially if you want to show off the side content.

A pair of swole dudebros tried to day-1 facecam LP The Witcher 3, but they got laughed off of SA for... literally all the nouns and adjectives in this sentence.


Psion posted:

Speaking of which, please save Fist. He's got the best ME2 scene.

You know, this is the first time I've ever heard of this. I usually play a 75/25 Paragon Shep and every single time, I always kill Fist. Because

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.


Slippery Tilde

I was planning on saving Fist for the callback.

nine-gear crow posted:

A pair of swole dudebros tried to day-1 facecam LP The Witcher 3, but they got laughed off of SA for... literally all the nouns and adjectives in this sentence.


quote:

You know, this is the first time I've ever heard of this. I usually play a 75/25 Paragon Shep and every single time, I always kill Fist. Because
I end up with Fist dead 99% of the time because Wrex kills him automatically if you bring him along and Wrex is one of my favorite party members. It's one of those "Awww, I guess I won't bring Wrex abloo bloo bloo."

RickVoid
Oct 21, 2010


SubponticatePoster posted:

I was planning on saving Fist for the callback.



I end up with Fist dead 99% of the time because Wrex kills him automatically if you bring him along and Wrex is one of my favorite party members. It's one of those "Awww, I guess I won't bring Wrex abloo bloo bloo."

Wrex did nothing wrong.

Montegoraon
Aug 22, 2013


SubponticatePoster posted:

After that almost any game would be a walk in the park. The only comparable game out right now would be the Witcher, and there's probably a good reason nobody's LP'd it

I'll probably only do 2 updates per week, but without bothering to go to random planets this game runs 20-30 hours (I know I can do ME2 in 30 hours with almost every side mission). There are some side quests that carry over into the sequels so I'll be sure to do those, but "land on Grablolgarg, find a rock, open a crate" can gently caress right off. Also driving the Mako over some of those maps Nope, no thank you.

Will you at least be getting the Asari writings, the Elkoss Combine license, saving that one girl and doing that one side mission for the Conrad Verner war asset?

Judge Tesla
Oct 29, 2011



As much as I like the Mass Effect games, boy has the first game not aged very well, it's super easy to break the game wide open with the Biotic Adept class, which is what I always chose because Space Magic is awesome.

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.


Slippery Tilde

Montegoraon posted:

Will you at least be getting the Asari writings, the Elkoss Combine license, saving that one girl and doing that one side mission for the Conrad Verner war asset?
Yeah, I'll do the quests that carry over but will do writings off-camera.

Pittsburgh Lambic
Feb 16, 2011


The games have always been sorta neat for how much effort the writers put in to explain all the science behind pretty much everything. The codex entries get into poo poo like how colonies access the internet, how search engines work, how the input devices on the fancy holographic screens work, and so on. The codex did spend a surprising amount of time on how computers in Mass Effect's universe worked, even though Commander Shepard pretty much never, ever uses one of the computers the Codex talks about at length. I guess it figures, given that Bioware writers are spending all day at computers and thinking about how much more awesome their job would be if they had ~future computers.~

Also, in TYOOL 2015 we have finally sent a probe out to have a close look at Pluto's moon Charon and discovered that it is not, in fact, a gigantic self-powered mass relay gate encased in ice that turns on as soon as somebody messes with it and never turns off again.

Andou
Jun 12, 2014


I agree, it is also nice that they don't shove it all down your throat in the narrative. No "Hey! look how fleshed out our game is! Look at how we went into tiny details about things you might not care about!". I enjoyed reading about the different species and their relations with each other on my own time, because game fluff should be optional to the gamer but available in the game. World building is cool, yo.

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.


Slippery Tilde

The Beaconator

There are bombs all over and Kaiden is a klutz. Benezia is voiced by Counselor Troi herself, Marina Sirtis. Her VA isn't spectacular in this. I met her at a con and had her sign my CE of ME3. and when I handed it over she was at least hip enough to know exactly what it was and said "Don't tell anyone, but I haven't played this yet." Mostly I think she was impressed that it was something other than another piece of Star Trek poo poo.

Saren is super duper evil, he wants to wipe out the colony and throws a temper tantrum that may actually be caused by a petulant spaceship. The Council are unhelpful dicks and Udina is an rear end in a top hat. These things will not change throughout all 3 games. And the first time you see that flashback it's kinda disturbing and creepy but by the 55th time (in the first game alone) it loses a bit of oomph.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

Fandom is misery.



How different the series woulda been if Kaiden of all people ended up the Protagonist By Default because he got mentally bad-touched by the beacon

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.


Slippery Tilde

Or Ash, for that matter. News headline: Galaxy in Flames Because Space Racist Can't Tell the Aliens From the Animals

YOTC
Nov 17, 2005
Damn stupid newbie

I feel that there's a chunk of video one with audio desync. Might just be me though.

Also butts shep right hooking things is the best.

Pittsburgh Lambic
Feb 16, 2011


JT Jag posted:

How different the series woulda been if Kaiden of all people ended up the Protagonist By Default because he got mentally bad-touched by the beacon

Every battle would start with Commander Shepard screaming "GET YOUR loving BARRIER UP" at the player followed by a live-or-die quicktime event, with failure resulting in Kaidan getting gibbed all over a crate. At least, that's based on what happened to him when I was playing ME1.

Lazyfire
Feb 4, 2006

God saves. Satan Invests


Judge Tesla posted:

As much as I like the Mass Effect games, boy has the first game not aged very well, it's super easy to break the game wide open with the Biotic Adept class, which is what I always chose because Space Magic is awesome.

The most insane thing to me is that the first game, which is not at all mouse and keyboard friendly, does not allow controller use. I know there's a file or mod out there to bring it in, but I gave up after like an hour and a half of ME1 on my PC, which is insane considering I beat the game north of eight times on the Xbox 360. I just wanted to play through all three in the week between my last job and my current one, but that killed it.


SubponticatePoster posted:

Or Ash, for that matter. News headline: Galaxy in Flames Because Space Racist Can't Tell the Aliens From the Animals

Welcome to the Trump Presidency.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis





I had one of those for lunch today. They're just the worst awful poo poo, but they taste stoooooo good

I saw a convention panel video where Sirtis like flat out said she couldn't remember even doing Mass Effect, but I honestly don't blame her. Benezia's practically a bit part in ME1 anyway. She was just there to be the game's big-name guest star. At least by the time ME2 and ME3 rolled around BioWare was able to make better use of their named talent.

It's also weird as hell to see Mass Effect 1 with PlayStation button prompts after playing it exclusively on the Xbox and PC for years.

NullBlack
Oct 29, 2011

I'm as confused as you are.




I guess that's where it places Shepard when the scene is loaded?
The shadows and the extremely low res textures on Shepard look like scorch marks.

Aces High
Mar 26, 2010

Nah! A little chocolate will do



oh just you wait, the Mass Effect series is not kind to textures and models

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anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.



Grimey Drawer

Christ, I forgot how ham-handed the exposition at the beginning is. "I don't like having a Turian Spectre on board. Spectres are... Turians are... Board is..."
Gonna watch this because I never had the patience to finish these things myself between a boring story and combat mechanics that don't work half the time. I'd love to see what all the buzz is about for once.

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