Today I got my Secret Santa gifts in the mail, from one Husky Dilf. I'm not gonna post the FedEx bags (it was double wrapped?) they came in but these are the contents. "Be Your Own Bartender. Oh, haha, I get it, cute. This is the saddest recipe book I've ever seen. Every single page is like this:  I like this gift a lot because I feel like the copywriter who made this is a recovering alcoholic who invented an alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous: Drinking Is Joyless Toil (DIJT). I feel like alcoholics can really quit the habit for good if they sat down and put down every drink recipe they've memorized into Wordpad and formatted the list this way. Maybe those who fall off the wagon have to look up recipes online, commit them to memory, and make a new entry.  To be clear, these are gummy bears. They're roughly the size of my fist. In this photo, I have tried to make them look as if they did not come completely loose and the packaging broken in the bag. Despite being a foodstuff, there is no expiration date on these. I suspect the remnants of a peeled off label on the back was what that once was. Bring Your Own Bear. Starting to sense a theme... This is also a pretty good gift because I live next to a baptist church and I can put them up on crucifixes on the lawn between my apartment building and the church. I can maybe make a crown out of pine needles. Update to come maybe?    Ok, I'll admit it, I had no loving clue what any of this was until I opened the card. It appeared to be a Santa face you can hang on your door instead of a wreath, a cloth diaper, and a bib, and I was like "wow, uhhhhhh gross, I am way not into that poo poo and I have no idea why you think I would be?" But then I opened the card:   As it turns out, they're decorations to make your toilet look like Santa. This is what it looks like.  You get to pretend you're making GBS threads and pissing in Santa's mouth. I have no idea what the hole at the top for the hat is. I like this gift a lot too, because now I never, ever, ever have to use the bathroom ever again. I am having all my body's plumbing surgically removed and given as a sacrifice to this monster so that my home will once again be free from evil spirits. Thank you, Husky Dilf, for the gifts and the thought you spent on them. OK now other people go. |
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Dec 15, 2015 02:00
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 08:07 |
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The awseomeness of this cannot be adequately expressed. After the utter disappointment of the Advent Calendar, I'm WAY looking forward to watching the excitement of this thread unfold!
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Dec 15, 2015 03:19
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holy cats, fist sized gummi bears. that book looks ancient. are there any weird recipes in there that no one drinks anymore? |
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Dec 15, 2015 12:02
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That's the recipe for a manhattan 
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Dec 15, 2015 13:57
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I got my santa gift but imgur is being a butt how am I going to share my wonderful santa pictures??
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Dec 16, 2015 04:17
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my christmas gift to you is to tell you to redo the caulking on your baseboard |
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Dec 16, 2015 04:21
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ok, awesome, I got imgur to cooperate so I could share, yay! I opened up a box and it was full of goodies!  there was a very kind letter from my Santa and I really appreciated it, especially the moment of honesty, which was super nice and appreciated but I am keeping to myself.  a Bad cd and a Good cd...excellent, I will have fun on the drive to work and a reason not to listen to Delilah on the way home  mulling spices, which for I am very excited because it's a timely seasonal reason to drink some wine. also, they made the whole package smell wonderful  delicious byob candy. my mouth is blue now lol   a byob coloring book with byob colored crayons, lmbo. awesome.  hey, I don't recall mentioning it around here, but I actually know how to operate these babies, so excellent choice santa!  cool old tins are very much something I enjoy, so this little guy will feel right at home and will be appreciated.   thank you very much Dope Pope, I am absolutely delighted with your thoughtful present  merry christmas!
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Dec 16, 2015 04:36
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ol' qhgz does it again 
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Dec 16, 2015 04:58
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what cool presents! congrats, and good job dope pope! |
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Dec 16, 2015 08:49
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Afro Doug posted:my christmas gift to you is to tell you to redo the caulking on your baseboard If my cheap rear end landlord doesn't want to spend the extra 3 dollars for a bottle of 100% silicone instead of sawdust in a bottle of wood glue, then I have no inclination to improve his property. I'm out of this dump in 8 months or less. ---------------- |
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Dec 16, 2015 12:50
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the internet says that my gifts were delivered to my person on tuesday and wednesday so uhhhh i hope nobody stole them off their stoop i guess |
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Dec 21, 2015 02:32
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I got parts of a gift that said they were parts 2 and 3 and i haven't seen part 1 and i don't want to post until i do but it's been over a week :/ is this like the prank where you number the pigs 1 2 and 4? |
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Dec 21, 2015 04:31
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alnilam posted:I got parts of a gift that said they were parts 2 and 3 and i haven't seen part 1 and i don't want to post until i do but it's been over a week :/ is this like the prank where you number the pigs 1 2 and 4? that;s not me but lol i hope so 
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Dec 21, 2015 06:25
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I have not gotten a gift.
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Dec 21, 2015 07:05
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I'm concerned about presents  phope everyone gets their packages soon...
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Dec 21, 2015 07:27
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somewhere amongst the pile of bandages, receipts, and viscera is my santee's tracking number but damned if i can find it. regardless, they should have gotten it by now. it is possible people are not posting their gifts? update: found it in a file that didn't previously exist, and it was delivered last monday Qwerinty fucked around with this message at 08:52 on Dec 21, 2015 ---------------- |
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Dec 21, 2015 08:49
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my Santee received their gift, but they did post a photo in the original Thread! I'm yet to receive mine.. hoping for a Christmas miracle! 🤔🎄
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Dec 21, 2015 10:08
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I shipped mine on the 17th, very late, I am a bad. Because of the distance it probably won't get there till after Christmas  Also I haven't gotten mine yet |
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Dec 21, 2015 11:55
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Op, the hole in the top of the Santa hat is for a box of tissues |
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Dec 21, 2015 11:56
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There are very few images in this thread and that makes me a sad yobberino
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Dec 21, 2015 12:15
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ScrubLeague posted:There are very few images in this thread and that makes me a sad yobberino I think there's a number of people dragging it down by waiting until Christmas to open and post their Christmas presents. I'm one of them. 
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Dec 21, 2015 15:19
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alnilam posted:I got parts of a gift that said they were parts 2 and 3 and i haven't seen part 1 and i don't want to post until i do but it's been over a week :/ is this like the prank where you number the pigs 1 2 and 4? haha no the other part is coming, amazon is giving me a Jan 6 estimate which is lame as hell [sorry about that!] |
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Dec 21, 2015 16:33
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Rusty Staub posted:haha no the other part is coming, amazon is giving me a Jan 6 estimate which is lame as hell [sorry about that!] haha okay! I'll hold off on posting the rest until it's all in but i like it ty 
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Dec 21, 2015 16:41
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paging nooner to the thread |
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Dec 23, 2015 21:16
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Super cool vr goggles for my phone as mentioned in other thread was seriously perfect gift because it's something I wanted but would not buy for myself, very cool and now I feel bad for sending my person something dumb and jokey lol |
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Dec 23, 2015 22:17
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Dear person I sent my gifts to IUO 20 empty quotes also, these carry a lot of weight, especially in GBS and imp zone where I am considered a forums superstar I hope this helps make up for what I sent |
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Dec 23, 2015 22:46
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will nooner's ss please buy him an av
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Dec 23, 2015 23:30
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Machai posted:will nooner's ss please buy him an av whats the point, im only going o get banned again 
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Dec 24, 2015 00:13
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this is mega GAY
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Dec 24, 2015 23:45
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amazed so far. never participate in these cause of hangin in europe tho maybe I should |
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Dec 25, 2015 01:45
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Qwerinty posted:somewhere amongst the pile of bandages, receipts, and viscera is my santee's tracking number but damned if i can find it. regardless, they should have gotten it by now. it is possible people are not posting their gifts? I don't check my mail often but I did a couple nights ago and I just wanted to say thanks! Harry Wong is extremely my poo poo, and the book you got me is perfect. I truly do appreciate it!
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Dec 25, 2015 02:38
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QueefLatina posted:this is mega GAY ---------------- |
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Dec 25, 2015 04:46
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i flunked out posted:I don't check my mail often but I did a couple nights ago and I just wanted to say thanks! Harry Wong is extremely my poo poo, and the book you got me is perfect. I truly do appreciate it! my favorite part about finding your gift was walking around downtown getting really high and walking into the first used bookstore i found and asking where the educational section is, and there it is, mint condition, popping out of the bookshelf past all the other books. i had to touch it a few times to make sure it was real. ---------------- |
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Dec 25, 2015 11:15
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Qwerinty posted:my favorite part about finding your gift was walking around downtown getting really high and walking into the first used bookstore i found and asking where the educational section is, and there it is, mint condition, popping out of the bookshelf past all the other books. i had to touch it a few times to make sure it was real. That's my favorite Christmas story so far this year https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Dec 25, 2015 17:32
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Qwerinty posted:my favorite part about finding your gift was walking around downtown getting really high and walking into the first used bookstore i found and asking where the educational section is, and there it is, mint condition, popping out of the bookshelf past all the other books. i had to touch it a few times to make sure it was real. fortuitous @ hell |
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Dec 25, 2015 18:58
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Qwerinty posted:my favorite part about finding your gift was walking around downtown getting really high and walking into the first used bookstore i found and asking where the educational section is, and there it is, mint condition, popping out of the bookshelf past all the other books. i had to touch it a few times to make sure it was real. Christmas miracle (:
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Dec 25, 2015 19:43
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so here i am relaxing on the second day of christmas when i hear something being thrown against my door. i open it to find a brown package with no address or name on it but it's covered in blood and smells like piss so i'm PRETTY sure it's from my B Y O B secret santa! (squee!) let's open it up!  o m g it's literal trash. i love trash! this little guy is going to feel right at home among my other empty soda cans (in the trash can)  it's day of the tentacle on a floppy disk. love it! i'm sure you must have searched your attic for at least 5 minutes to find this. what a thoughtful gift.  an old dirty harmonica! i don't recall mentioning it around here, but i have no idea how to play one of these loving things. awesome! and last but definitely least  it's a used piece of tissue! haha. it's cold so i've definitely got a seasonal reason for using it. too bad you thought of the same thing and used it first! well that's it. that's everything that was in the box. thank you so much. love the gifts. please stop throwing dead pigeons at my window
no they will not posted:Cool. added to sig |
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Dec 26, 2015 03:11
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lol
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Dec 26, 2015 03:14
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lmao |
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Dec 26, 2015 03:47
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 08:07 |
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floppy disk is labeled upside-down, ugh |
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Dec 26, 2015 04:21
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