[MAFIA] GOP Presidential Primary Mafia

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CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

It is whenever the Republicans are having their convention, gently caress you, I'm not looking it up. Nobody has won enough delegates, and now there is going to be a floor fight. Except some Democrats have snuck in too, oh no! Also nobody can tell who anyone else is because it's a Mafia game.

GOP Presidential Primary Mafia is a 14 player game. Here are the rules:

Don't be a dink.
No cheating, come on, you know what cheating is, don't do it.
Town wins when no scum remain. Scum win when they control 50% + 1 of the vote.
If time expires on a day without a hammer, whoever has the most votes will be lynched. I don't like it when you have to dogpile on at sundown to avoid a no-lynch and it's my game, so we're not doing that.

I'm not entirely sure this game is balanced! I made it up because I thought up a funny role that made me laugh and then I had fun writing powers for the other candidates too. I think this will be fun, please join this game if you enjoy fun.

Important note: I have deliberately included candidates who have either already dropped out or in fact were never running at all this year among the town, because otherwise flavor-claiming would have been way too powerful.

Sign up and post your contact information if you don't have PMs, you know the drill.

PLAYERS:

Results
Day 1: AnonymousNarcotics aka Mike Huckabee, Town Cop, was lynched
Night 1: spacing in vienna aka Jeb! Bush, Town Vanilla, was nightkilled
Day 2: EXAKT Science aka Ben Carson, Pathological Liar, Town Magical Thinker was lynched
Night 2: CapitalistPig aka Carly Fiorina, Woman Waging The War On Women, Town Tracker, was killed during the night
Day 3: Pinterest Mom aka Hillary Clinton, Front-runner, Scum Godfather Ninja, was lynched
Night 3: Hal Incandenza aka Ted Cruz, Procedural Tantrum-Thrower, Town Lynchproof and Opopanax aka Chris Christie, Obstructionist Bully, Town Jailer were killed during the night

CapnAndy fucked around with this message at 21:20 on Dec 31, 2015

# ¿ Dec 15, 2015 19:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 20, 2024 04:42

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

A third of the way there, let's go signups let's go :dance:

# ¿ Dec 15, 2015 23:40

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Holy poo poo, I'm an idiot. Town do not win with 50% + 1 of the vote. Town win when no scum remain. Did anyone actually read the rules and if so was anyone gonna call me on it or were you guys waiting to draw town and then immediately claim victory or what.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 05:43

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

imgay posted:

I was hoping to start the game and have town autowin tbh

I mean that's fair, I can't blame you

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 05:51

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

We need more people, I feel unloved

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 21:35

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

I have no comment on if alternate win conditions exist

# ¿ Dec 17, 2015 03:22

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

No use my link

https://battle.net/recruit/VCNBRDS5FH

I told imgay he could be Reagan because we ended up playing hots together, here is the secret Reagan role

You are Ronald Reagan, Force Ghost! You have a power! Your power is to hover ineffectually over everything Republicans do until the end of time, being endlessly invoked even though you were a pretty lovely president really.

You have no win condition because you are fukken dead.

# ¿ Dec 17, 2015 04:35

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

King Sin posted:

let me play please

I will let everyone play when we get three more people!

# ¿ Dec 17, 2015 19:12

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

The sooner we get two more people, the sooner I have to sully my search history by finding pictures of all the candidates to put in the role PMs. I'm suffering for my art here, people.

# ¿ Dec 17, 2015 22:24

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Someone sign up c'moooooooon

# ¿ Dec 18, 2015 17:57

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Hooray! Abject begging works!

Role PMs going out now.

# ¿ Dec 19, 2015 00:00

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Role PMs are out! I will set up votefinder later but let's call it Day 1, to end Sunday at 10 pm EST? Sound good?

# ¿ Dec 19, 2015 00:16

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Yes it did!

Does anyone know how I can get that live votecount image to put in the OP from votefinder

never mind I found it!

# ¿ Dec 19, 2015 05:08

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Would you guys like me to change the deadline to Monday night, or is Sunday enough time?

# ¿ Dec 19, 2015 06:06

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

EXAKT Science posted:

GONNA STUMP THA TRUMP

##shoot Max

EXAKT Science suddenly leaks video of Max eating Christian baby fetuses at a gay wedding party where everyone has healthcare! Max's political ambitions have been destroyed!

...

But Max ignores the attack and calls EXAKT Science a loser!

# ¿ Dec 19, 2015 07:24

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Votecount for Day 1

Max (4): CapitalistPig, imgay, EXAKT Science, ~~EXAKT Science~~, EXAKT Science, ~~EXAKT Science~~, EXAKT Science, King Sin

King Sin (1): Max

EXAKT Science (1): Hal Incandenza, Max, ~~Max~~

CapitalistPig (1): Hal Incandenza, ~~Hal Incandenza~~, Opopanax

AnonymousNarcotics (0): Max, ~~Max~~

Not Voting (7): AnonymousNarcotics, garthoneeye, PERPETUAL IDIOT, Pinterest Mom, SirSamVimes, spacing in vienna, VivaNova

With 14 alive, it's 8 votes to lynch. The current deadline is December 20^th, 2015 at 10 p.m. EST -- that's in about 1 day, 7 hours.

# ¿ Dec 19, 2015 20:46

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

I told votefinder to post when it sees a lynch, I guess it doesn't think deadline being up qualifies.

Final Votecount for Day 1

AnonymousNarcotics (5): Max, ~~Max~~, VivaNova, Pinterest Mom, spacing in vienna, SirSamVimes, EXAKT Science

Max (3): CapitalistPig, imgay, EXAKT Science, ~~EXAKT Science~~, EXAKT Science, ~~EXAKT Science~~, EXAKT Science, King Sin, ~~CapitalistPig~~, AnonymousNarcotics, ~~imgay~~, ~~EXAKT Science~~, PERPETUAL IDIOT

CapitalistPig (2): Hal Incandenza, ~~Hal Incandenza~~, Opopanax, Pinterest Mom, VivaNova, ~~VivaNova~~, ~~Pinterest Mom~~, spacing in vienna, ~~spacing in vienna~~, Hal Incandenza

Pinterest Mom (2): Max, CapitalistPig

King Sin (0): Max, ~~Max~~

EXAKT Science (0): Hal Incandenza, Max, ~~Max~~, ~~Hal Incandenza~~

Not Voting (2): garthoneeye, imgay

# ¿ Dec 21, 2015 04:19

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

At the end of the first day of the floor fight, none of the candidates could agree on much except that everyone else was jerks. But they were Republicans so what do you expect, really. When AnonymousNarcotics began loudly declaring that the rich should donate their money to charity and people should take care of the poor and the sick, he was kicked out for being an obvious Democrat.

Turns out he was quoting the Bible, though. Oops.

AnonymousNarcotics aka Mike Huckabee, Holier Than All These Other Assholes (Town Cop) has been lynched!

It is now Night 1. Get me your night actions.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2015 04:27

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

As Day 2 of the convention dawns, it turns out that Democrat activists have struck in the night and released video of spacing in vienna speaking in Spanish one time. Can't have any consortin' with brown folks.

spacing in vienna, aka Jeb! Bush, Vanilla and Boring (Town Vanilla) was killed in the night!

It is now Day 2. I think I'll give you until Thursday at, let's say... 8 pm est? Is that good for your silly gentile whatevers-it-is on Christmas Eve?

CapnAndy fucked around with this message at 02:09 on Dec 22, 2015

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 02:06

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

VivaNova posted:

bleh.

I'd prefer earlier!

What would be better? I'm flexible.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 06:38

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

What would everyone prefer, 3 pm Christmas Eve or 5 pm Christmas Day, or something else, help me out here I don't celebrate this holiday.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 19:22

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

I'm setting the deadline for Saturday at 3 pm after further consideration, mostly because if we have sunset on Christmas Eve there's no dang way I'm getting night actions on Christmas and if the thread's gonna stall out for the holiday I'd rather it be open while it does so so people can still play if they have some time.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 22:08

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Final Votecount for Day 2

Max (8): imgay, EXAKT Science, SirSamVimes, Opopanax, King Sin, CapitalistPig, garthoneeye, VivaNova

EXAKT Science (1): Max, Opopanax, ~~Opopanax~~

VivaNova (0): King Sin, ~~King Sin~~

imgay (0): Max, SirSamVimes, ~~Max~~, ~~SirSamVimes~~

King Sin (0): SirSamVimes, EXAKT Science, ~~EXAKT Science~~, ~~SirSamVimes~~

Pinterest Mom (0): CapitalistPig, garthoneeye, ~~CapitalistPig~~, ~~garthoneeye~~

Not Voting (3): Hal Incandenza, PERPETUAL IDIOT, Pinterest Mom

Everyone decided that they were sick of Max, who was very annoying.

"Stop being so annoying or we'll have the anonymous billionaires who've made a mockery of the concept of free elections cut off their untraceable funding to your campaign, Max!"

"Go ahead and do it, losers!"

So they did, but Max ignored that too, and called everyone hurtful names again in the process.

Max has not been lynched! As per the rules in his role PM, the person with the next highest amount of votes has been lynched instead.

EXAKT Science aka Ben Carson, Pathological Liar (Town Magical Thinker) has been lynched!

It is now NIGHT 2.

# ¿ Dec 26, 2015 20:06

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Day 3 dawns and the field of viable candidates has been reduced once more. Overnight, an anonymous hit-piece appeared in the New York Times, pointing out that CapitalistPig is a woman, who has woman parts, and maybe used birth control once and even if not, definitely gets periods, which are yucky.

CapitalistPig aka Carly Fiorina, Woman Waging The War On Women (Town Tracker), was killed in the night!

It is now Day 3. You have until Wednesday at 10 pm EST.

For Day 3 I am instituting a special rule. I've been letting low participation slide due to the holidays, but they're over now. If you end Day 3 with less total posts than me, I will either modkill or replace you, at random. I will seriously flip a coin to decide. Hal Incandenza, VivaNova, Opopanax, garthoneeye, PERPETUAL IDIOT, Pinterest Mom: You are all in danger.

CapnAndy fucked around with this message at 07:58 on Dec 27, 2015

# ¿ Dec 27, 2015 07:55

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Hahaha I'm doing the votecounts today, my postcount is a moving target

Votecount for Day 3

Pinterest Mom (2): Max, Opopanax

Max (1): imgay

Not Voting (7): garthoneeye, Hal Incandenza, King Sin, PERPETUAL IDIOT, Pinterest Mom, SirSamVimes, VivaNova

With 10 alive, it's 6 votes to lynch. The current deadline is December 30^th, 2015 at 10 p.m. EST -- that's in about 2 days, 8 hours.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2015 19:25

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Votecount for Day 3

Pinterest Mom (2): Max, Opopanax

King Sin (1): Pinterest Mom

Max (1): imgay

Not Voting (6): garthoneeye, Hal Incandenza, King Sin, PERPETUAL IDIOT, SirSamVimes, VivaNova

With 10 alive, it's 6 votes to lynch. The current deadline is December 30^th, 2015 at 10 p.m. EST -- that's in about 1 day, 4 hours.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2015 23:27

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Votecount for Day 3

King Sin (2): Pinterest Mom, VivaNova

Pinterest Mom (2): Max, Opopanax

Max (1): imgay

Not Voting (5): garthoneeye, Hal Incandenza, King Sin, PERPETUAL IDIOT, SirSamVimes

With 10 alive, it's 6 votes to lynch. The current deadline is December 30^th, 2015 at 10 p.m. EST -- that's in about 8 hours, 45 minutes.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2015 19:14

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Votecount for Day 3

King Sin (2): Pinterest Mom, VivaNova

Pinterest Mom (2): Max, Opopanax

Max (1): imgay, garthoneeye, ~~garthoneeye~~

# ¿ Dec 31, 2015 00:51

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Still in danger: Opop, CPig, Idiot, PinMom

# ¿ Dec 31, 2015 00:52

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

You know, if I post even one more time, I'll be putting a lot of people back in danger.

Ooops!

Votecount for Day 3

Pinterest Mom (4): Max, Opopanax, garthoneeye, PERPETUAL IDIOT

King Sin (2): Pinterest Mom, VivaNova

Max (1): imgay, garthoneeye, ~~garthoneeye~~

Not Voting (3): Hal Incandenza, King Sin, SirSamVimes

With 10 alive, it's 6 votes to lynch. The current deadline is December 30^th, 2015 at 10 p.m. EST -- that's in about 19 minutes.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2015 03:40

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Hal was close and tried, and PMom is now lynched, so I will be merciful and not unleash completely random judgement upon you all.

Final Votecount for Day 3

Pinterest Mom (4): Max, Opopanax, garthoneeye, PERPETUAL IDIOT

King Sin (2): Pinterest Mom, VivaNova

Max (1): imgay, garthoneeye, ~~garthoneeye~~

Not Voting (3): Hal Incandenza, King Sin, SirSamVimes.

The convention was in disarray as Max ran around sucking up all the oxygen out of the room because nobody could get rid of him no matter how big of a jerk he was. As the other candidates learned to deal with that, discussion turned to Pinterest Mom, who was being extremely quiet.

"Pinterest Mom is being extremely quiet! Maybe she's a Democrat trying to lay low!"
"Hey, yeah! That is something Democrats do! Let's get her!"

Pinterest Mom had some stuff to say in self-defense, but not much, and it wasn't very convincing anyway, so they kicked her out.

Pinterest Mom, aka Marco Rubio, As Close To Moderate As It Gets, has been lynched!

...wait. No, that was a cheap rubber mask. And that's a very distinctive pantsuit, come to think of it.

Pinterest Mom, aka Hillary Clinton, Front-runner (Scum Godfather Ninja), has been lynched! It is now Night 3! Get me your night actions!

CapnAndy fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Dec 31, 2015

# ¿ Dec 31, 2015 04:07

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Day 4 dawns and reveals an unusually nasty night.

An anonymous hit-piece was leaked to the media overnight, showing that Hal Incandenza was actually born in Canada and is thus not a native-born citizen of the United States and therefore disqualified from being President, even though his parents were unquestionably American and birthright citizenship also flows through the parents. And since all the birther arguments against Obama were based on pure love for the law and not any racist dogwhistle bullshit, the Republicans were forced to apply the same stringent standards to their own candidate.

Hal Incandenza, aka Ted Cruz, Procedural Tantrum-Thrower (Town Lynchproof) was killed in the night!

Meanwhile, Democratic activist groups released video of Opopanax showing him hugging Barack Obama that one time. Haha, so much for that guy.

Opopanax, aka Chris Christie, Obstructionist Bully (Town Jailer) was killed in the night!

It is now Day 4! Day 4 will end on Sunday at 9 pm EST.

CapnAndy fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Dec 31, 2015

# ¿ Dec 31, 2015 21:14

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, I CLAIM THIS AD BANNER AS BOOTY

# ¿ Jan 1, 2016 06:20

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

VivaNova posted:

Andy, would you mind prodding King Sin?

It has been done.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2016 10:07

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

I'm fine! Everything is fine! Nothing is wrong.

edit: Wait, the day ended? With one vote? Oooookay

# ¿ Jan 4, 2016 21:41

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Everybody was sleeping today and it was very quiet. King Sin eventually left, but nobody was sure if he was ever really there at all.

King Sin, aka John Kasich, Whoever That Is (Town Vanilla) was lynched!

It is now Night 4! Get me precious, precious night actions.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2016 21:44

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Day 5 dawns with a note from the Democrats that congratulates imgay on being a brown person, whereupon everyone realizes that yeah that dude is dusky-looking, he can't be President.

imgay aka Bobby Jindal, Hopeless Candidate (Town Vanilla) was killed in the night!

Wait, what's this? There's a PS on the note!

"P.S. All your candidates are gone now, good luck with Trump LMAO, Hillary2016 bitches"

The scum control the majority of the votes! Scum wins!

The town has been overrun! Town loses!

Max did not fufill his win condition! Max loses!

# ¿ Jan 4, 2016 23:16

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

SirSamVimes posted:

Wait, Max didn't fill his win condition? I thought he said he had.

He lied!

I'll post the role PMs shortly. Yes, every single role in the game was a joke of some sort.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2016 23:54

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Town
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EXAKT Science

You are Ben Carson, Pathological Liar.

You have a power! Your power is Magical Thinking. It is very unique and powerful, but there are restrictions, so read carefully. You have any powers you want. Here are the rules:

1) You must claim to have the powers in the game. You can�t hint, you must make an outright claim. You then have those powers until you claim again.
2) If anyone expresses any degree of doubt in your claim, you instantly lose your powers. You must re-claim to get new powers (you can make the same claim again, if you like). I am the final arbiter of if your claims have been doubted. At the beginning of each night phase, I will tell you if you have powers or not. You can also contact me at any time during the day and I�ll tell you if you�ve been doubted or not, but I won�t volunteer the information during the day.
3) Your powers do not activate until the third post made by someone who isn�t you after each claim. This is to prevent stuff like claiming dayvig and immediately shooting or making an outlandish claim and then hammering.
4) You can have as many powers as you want, but each power must do only one thing and target only one person. �I am a cop and a vigilante� is valid. �I am a vigilante but my powers only kill scum� is not (power would be checking alignment and killing at the same time). �I have three nightkills� is not (one power targeting multiple people).
5) I reserve the right to tell you that you can�t have something if you find a way to break the game that I didn�t think of. If that occurs, I will negotiate a similar power with you that is as close as possible.
6) You may not, under any circumstances, claim your actual power or explain how it works. It�d be too easy to claim something ultra-powerful and then make a loyalty test out of refusing to doubt you. You can do whatever you want to get people to believe you, but I don�t even want to see a hint that your powers depend on it.

You are Town.
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VivaNova

You are Mitt Romney, Who Looks Way Better In Retrospect.

You have a power! Your power is Doctor. Once per night, you can choose to talk somebody up to the press, which makes them look reasonable and protects them from the consequences of their dumb bullshit. You can protect yourself, if you like.

You are Town.
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spacing in vienna

You are Jeb Bush, Vanilla and Boring.

You have no powers. You are vanilla, ha ha, get it? Come on, that�s funny.

You are Town.
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Opopanax

You are Chris Christie, Obstructionist Bully.

You have a power! Your power is Jailer. Once per night, you can create a traffic jam around one player. Nobody will be able to target that player and that player will be unable to take any actions.

You are Town.
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Hal Incandenza

You are Ted Cruz, Procedural Tantrum-Thrower.

You have a power! You are lynchproof! If you would be lynched, either due to hammering or time expiring, you filibuster the vote and read Green Eggs and Ham while missing the moral of a story that two year olds can understand until the town gets sick of your bullshit and lynches the person with the second-highest amount of votes instead. Because you need support to maintain your filibusters, you only have this power if the town controls at least 55% of the vote. I will not tell you if this is the case or not.

You are Town.
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imgay

You are Bobby Jindal, Hopeless Candidate.

You have no powers because nobody cared about you at all and I can�t make a Mafia power out of looking like Kenneth the Page.

You are Town.
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CapitalistPig

You are Carly Fiorina, Woman Waging The War On Women

You have a power! Your power is Tracker! Every night, you can choose one player. At the end of the night, you will receive a video tape showing what that player did during the night. Nobody but you will be able to see these tapes, but they�re 100% real no matter how many other people tell you that you�re �brazenly lying� and �directly responsible for innocent deaths�.

(You are not an insane Tracker and your information is in fact game-accurate. Just clarifying.)

You are Town.
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AnonymousNarcotics

You are Mike Huckabee, Holier Than All These Other Assholes

You have a power! Your power is Cop! Every night, you can choose a player and pray to God about that player. God will then descend in all His glory and talk directly to you about that player and tell you the player�s alignment. It sure is cool to always know exactly what God wants, isn�t it, and there�s no reason at all to doubt that you have a direct line to God Almighty, and if God always seems to agree with whatever you thought beforehand, that just proves how holy and amazing you are. Don�t let anyone tell you different.

(You are not an insane Cop. You will receive accurate results. Just clarifying.)

You are Town.
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King Sin

You are John Kasich, Whoever That Is

You have no powers. Who even are you? Are you sure you�re running for President? I mean, 0% in the polls is still technically in the polls, I guess, whatever.

You are Town.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 00:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 20, 2024 04:42

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Scum
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Pinterest Mom

You are Hillary Clinton, Front-runner

You have several powers! You are the Scum Godfather, because what�s the difference between you and a Republican, ha ha ha god drat I am witty. You are also undetectable. Attempts to watch you will fail, and if you perform the kill and someone is watching your target, they will not see you visit.

You are Scum. Every night, one scum member must perform a nightkill. Nightkills do not interfere with other night actions; you can do the kill and still use any other powers you might have. Your scumbuddies are PERPETUAL IDIOT, garthoneeye, and SirSamVimes. Here is the link to your scum chat: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1opamuS6sXuzC24JwlHtGR8YZcGYg2FbLIyaVjOXwXsY/edit?usp=sharing

Your fakeclaim is: Marco Rubio, As Close To Moderate As It Gets

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PERPETUAL IDIOT

You are Barack Obama, With No Fucks Left To Give

You have a power! You are a Protector. Each night you can choose one person and give a speech about how everyone should target that person. Because Republicans will knee-jerk oppose anything you say, everybody will then be unable to target that person for the night. Because Democrats aren�t bloody-minded idiots, your scumbuddies are not affected by this power.

You are Scum. Every night, one scum member must perform a nightkill. Nightkills do not interfere with other night actions; you can do the kill and still use any other powers you might have. Your scumbuddies are Pinterest Mom, garthoneeye, and SirSamVimes. Here is the link to your scum chat: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1opamuS6sXuzC24JwlHtGR8YZcGYg2FbLIyaVjOXwXsY/edit?usp=sharing

Your fakeclaim is: Sarah Palin, Caribou Barbie

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garthoneeye

You are Bernie Sanders, Maybe Over-Promising A Bit

You have a power! Your power is unique and special, so read carefully. Here are the rules:

1) You can have any one power you want, subject to my approval. I will withhold approval only if you pick something truly stupid or gamebreaking, and will negotiate a similar power with you in that case.
2) Your chosen power is only active at night. You are powerless during the day phase.
3) You may choose a new power every night.
4) You only get your chosen power if all other scum players agree to render themselves powerless for the night (they can still perform the nightkill). If you are the only scum player remaining, go nuts.

You are Scum. Every night, one scum member must perform a nightkill. Nightkills do not interfere with other night actions; you can do the kill and still use any other powers you might have. Your scumbuddies are Pinterest Mom, PERPETUAL IDIOT, and SirSamVimes. Here is the link to your scum chat: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1opamuS6sXuzC24JwlHtGR8YZcGYg2FbLIyaVjOXwXsY/edit?usp=sharing

Your fakeclaim is: Rand Paul, The Gold Standard of Boring Candidates

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SirSamVimes

You are Bill Clinton, Big Dawg

You have a power! You are a Re-director. Every night you can choose a player to redirect from and a player to redirect to. You will then talk circles around everybody, until they�re all so confused that all night actions targeting the initial player will target the second player instead. (This is a one-way transfer; actions targeting the second player still target them).

You are Scum. Every night, one scum member must perform a nightkill. Nightkills do not interfere with other night actions; you can do the kill and still use any other powers you might have. Your scumbuddies are Pinterest Mom, PERPETUAL IDIOT, and garthoneeye. Here is the link to your scum chat: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1opamuS6sXuzC24JwlHtGR8YZcGYg2FbLIyaVjOXwXsY/edit?usp=sharing

Your fakeclaim is: Rick Santorum, Don�t Google Him Please

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 00:07

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > The Game Room > [MAFIA] GOP Presidential Primary Mafia

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