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Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

My hope is that we get a POV from a wight at some point in the books (pulling for Asha, no one else seems likely) that explains what wights are like.

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Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

I don't understand this at all since he could just walk with the exact same methods he uses to be able to fly.

GRRM is a poo poo writer.

Skinchanging another human is an abomination, and presumably Bloodraven and the CotF would be pretty pissed if they found out Bran was doing it to Hodor.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

3> 4 + 5 > 1 > 2

Look at all you idiots not using the combined read. Why they even sell them as two separate books anymore is beyond me.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

counterfeitsaint posted:

Holy poo poo you are an insufferable little twat. Are you really going to keep f5ing and making every other post in this thread to keep reminding us tv watching grognards the superior of gurms flawless written word? I'm sure there are some threads in the book barn that need to be endlessly fellatiated or something.

Yeah dude, it's definitely the posts defending the books that are constant in this thread and not "i hate the fat man with my life" level poo poo.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

I want to go back in time and tell GRRM to make barristan a POV, ADWD would have come out in like 2009.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Harold Stassen posted:

You mean from the beginning? He has a couple POV chapters in ADWD.

I want to go back in time and pretend to be a ghost and spook him into finishing it

I've read before that making Barristan a POV was the key to solving the Meereenese Knot, since GRRM didn't know how to convey a good chunk of the action that was going on with the characters he had available. Once Barristan was a POV, he could show the coup and the decisions that led to the army riding out and loving up the Yunkai'i at the same time Victarion wades ashore. My theory is that he was resistant to adding another "going to be dead before the end of TWOW" POV character, but it was the only thing he could do ultimately.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Barristan's chapters are great because you get to see an old badass try to hold the contradictory positions of "the kingsguard does not interfere" and "uh those fuckers just tried to murder my queen, we need to do something". shame he's not going to live to see dany again

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Solice Kirsk posted:

I assure you there is nothing passive about me calling gurm a big dummy. Or a poo poo dicked fat gently caress that deserves all the worst things in the world to happen to him and those he loves because he won't finish writing some books I kinda sorta used to like.

GOT SPOILER Thread.txt

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Book Hizdahr was a puppet of the Harpy (the Green Grace) who was actively trying to bring back slavery. Deposing him was the correct thing to do, regardless of how inept Barristan is at politics.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Kajeesus posted:

Do we know that the Green Grace (Gelato Galore?) wants to reinstall slavery? I thought she was just really shirty about Dany deciding to cruelly execute 163 aristocrats at random.

Well as soon as the marriage happens Hizdahr starts putting people more loyal to him and the old nobility in places where Dany's more anti-slavery people had been before, and they had been pushing bringing back slavery in all but name anyway (see the "selling yourself back into slavery" deal). We've already seen that the Yunkai'i reinstalled slavery when she wasn't an immediate threat, so with every day that goes by there's more chance that Hizdahr/his cronies open the gates to the lovely Yunkai'i army, have a big purge of the remnants of Dany's group, and it's back to business as usual in Slaver's Bay.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

He started talking about this before season 5, so I'm betting Grenn or Pyp?

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Solice Kirsk posted:

The Sansa killing an Umber (or maybe a literal giant, we'll never know) is the weirdest part of her predictions. Maybe she'll take over the Vale then Winterfell and kill what ever Umber sided with Roose or something?

Littlefinger's house sigil used to be the Titan of Braavos before he changed it to a mockingbird. Could definitely be predicting his downfall at her hands.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

tin can made man posted:

Elder Brother seems like such a small character for Ian McShane, but maybe he's getting Bad Pussy'd into a big role like Pod was. Also, I guess sandor being alive will be even more explicit in the show; to what end, I've no clue but D&D are big enough hacks to make cleganebowl an actual thing

They'll probably roll him in with Septon Meribald so that he can do the Broken Men speech too.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

I figure they're going to have Jon kill Olly to make us wonder if being dead has changed Jon for the worse, not realizing that nobody has ever had positive emotions about Olly.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

There aren't any Weirdwoods that far south, right? Maybe they're totally dropping the Need Weirwoods for Telepathy thing?

Eh, Bloodraven tells Bran that he'll be able to look beyond the trees in time.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

webmeister posted:

Wasn't it another Sand Snake scene? The one where they clumsily introduce themselves to each other, even though they're sisters?

edit; Actually on that note, have we even seen them in any previews or trailers for this season?

No because the theme for like half of the characters this season seems to be "please forget about what happened last season, here's them doing what they did in the books".

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

clown shoes posted:

American Hodor Story

The Miller's Wife vs. Roose Bolton: Westeros Crime Story

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

neckbeard posted:

Has anyone tried the new Game of Thrones beer? http://www.ommegang.com/got/seven_kingdoms.php

I got one, going to drink it at the viewing party I'm going to Sunday. Hoping it's good!

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Demiurge4 posted:

Dany's storyline just kinda peaked in Astapor. Her story was great until George couldn't figure out what to do with her until he was ready to bring her to Westeros.

Well he has to establish that Dany deep down isn't interested in ruling, and the fake Targ has to steal her thunder too before she can get there so that she can be the Messiah figure to the world. Agreed that Meereen has been rough (although not as bad as it's yelled about).

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Demiurge4 posted:

That's literally the reason why it burned. So Dany has no choice but to take whatever devils bargain the iron islanders come up with.

I still can't believe they gave Dany exactly as many ships as the Iron Fleet had only to decide "wait, actually we want the Iron Islands plot in the show" and torch them all.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

In It For The Tank posted:



Was Mandon Moore secretly Quentyn???

Preston Jacobs is on the case.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

whatever7 posted:

But you can't write a good ending for lady stoneheart! That's why this zombie poo poo is dumb!

Yes you can, Arya encounters her, realizes that this is what revenge ultimately looks like, and gives the undead shade of her mother the gift of mercy like the Hound showed her.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

TK-42-1 posted:

Bran saying Theon through the heart tree is what helps Theon remember his name and decide to escape with Jeyne.

You've also got him in the ravens during the Theon preview chapter yelling his name, and saying Jon Snow in a raven during one of the Jon chapters.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

GaussianCopula posted:

Doesn't that even make sense from a timeline PoV? I reckon that they only announced her pregnancy last season when they had that really awkward dinner with Sansa and Ramsay and I don't see how 5-6 month (given that they don't have pregnancy tests I give them up to 4 month until they noticed/announced the pregnancy) have passed since then.

In a show with Gilly's eternal baby, anything's possible.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Iron Islands scene gets a 9/10 with -.5 for Euron being 40 years younger than his brother and not having an eyepatch and -.5 for not happening in Season 4 Episode 1. Rest of the episode was alright although I'm starting to get really bored with King's Landing and Meereen. Let's just not get into invincible supervillain Ramsay's House of Horrors.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Groovelord Neato posted:

the main issue is they came at the nick of time to save the city (how would stannis's scouts not know they were moving?).

Tyrion's clansmen killed them.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

On the one hand that's stupid enough to be true, on the other how would they possibly be able to leak literally everything that's to happen in the season?

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

GRRM read the Damphair chapter at a convention today, finally. Some highlights:

https://twitter.com/BryndenBFish/status/737009632284049408
https://twitter.com/BryndenBFish/status/737009919749038080
https://twitter.com/BryndenBFish/status/737010485900369920
https://twitter.com/BryndenBFish/status/737010744294707200
https://twitter.com/BryndenBFish/status/737012471446286340
https://twitter.com/BryndenBFish/status/737010874536185856

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

I feel like the best way to go would have been adapt Jaime's AFFC storyline last season, have him continually grow further from Cersei this season, meet Brienne for closure, and then ride off to (in vain) valonquar Cersei as she blows up Baelor and a chain reaction nukes the whole city. We could even get a tragic shot next season of Tyrion finding his sibling's scorched corpses next season!

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Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

What I'm gathering from this is that Rhaegar should be played by George Foreman in the Robert's Rebellion prequel.

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