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Haha it took JakeP 20 minutes to pin a man who was laying on the floor and taking a goddamn nap. Next time maybe I'll put in some effort, and send JakeP sobbing into the sun.
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Jan 5, 2016 03:58
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 12:50 |
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well I live on the sun, and sobbing is my favorite leisure activity so none of that really feels like it will be unpleasant
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Jan 5, 2016 04:13
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 OUTRAGE! PHILISTINES! YOU ARE ALL PHILISTINES! YOU HAVE NO APPRECIATION FOR THE SKY! CapitalistPig, I DEMAND a match so that I can defend my honor from this filthy usurper! He is unfit to climb the ropes, yet they call him a high flier? PATHETIC!
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Jan 5, 2016 05:31
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Tommunist posted:owned podima (true dog) (anime isn't dogs)  *dramatic pose* You realize, this means Put me back in the ring with this insolent pup, and I'll grind his nose into what he left there!
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Jan 5, 2016 05:45
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It may have been a quick loss that felt wasted on the crowd, but Pecota Powers knows when he's on the upswing.
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Jan 5, 2016 06:30
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Podima posted:
i'll hound you to the ends of the earth
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Jan 5, 2016 06:32
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Pssh, old Goonfights had more passion, more going for it. The current goonfights is just a money grab. Bring back the classics!
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Jan 5, 2016 16:05
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I eat Kashunos like you for breakfast
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Jan 5, 2016 18:09
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Opopanax posted:I eat Kashunos like you for breakfast  my opop impression
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Jan 5, 2016 18:12
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I would never eat something low in fat
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Jan 5, 2016 22:14
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Opopanax posted:I would never eat something low in fat same i even put some butter in my water because I found out that water is actually fat free, loving gross
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Jan 5, 2016 22:20
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Hi everyone! Gosh, it's a pleasure to be here! I am cutting a "promotional interview" because I am going to be in a pre-determined match with Tremendous Taste soon! I think it's going to be really fun for the both of us and I hope he is as excited as me. The thing I want to do the most is go out and put on an excellent show for all of the GF fights in attendance! The thing I want to do the second-most is hit Taste so hard he won't just need to see a barber, but a dentist, too! The only thing "tremendous" in Taste's life is going to be his hospital bill. Gosh, I sure hope the doctors do a great job and make it so he isn't ugly anymore! Anyway see you all Monday! 
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Jan 10, 2016 16:21
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The Lord of Hats posted:
This grudge match is booked for tomorrow as a special addition!
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Jan 10, 2016 20:02
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my vote for best high flier is gay mysterio
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Jan 10, 2016 21:13
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The Lord of Hats posted:
A grudge match with the "official" lord of the skies sounds like a pretty good push to get me over, doesn't it?
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Jan 10, 2016 22:04
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I, Gay Mysterio, the most jockstrapping wrestler am the highest of fliers.
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Jan 10, 2016 22:17
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I'm a mushroom. 
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Jan 10, 2016 22:19
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I have a mushroom inside my jockstrap
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Jan 10, 2016 22:20
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imgay posted:I, Gay Mysterio, the most jockstrapping wrestler am the highest of fliers.  There will be time to deal with your spurious claim later. But the Mushroom... Do I truly need to point out that despite our first show having an actual thirteen attendees, Mushroom somehow got 'thousands' of votes? When he won by *submission*? He has besmirched my dignity, and for that he shall pay! The Lord of Hats fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Jan 10, 2016 |
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Jan 10, 2016 22:25
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The match will now be a triple threat ladder match between the lord of hats, pmush, and gay mysterio!
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Jan 10, 2016 22:31
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The Lord of Hats posted:But the Mushroom... Do I truly need to point out that despite our first show having an actual thirteen attendees, Mushroom somehow got 'thousands' of votes? When he won by *submission*? He has besmirched my dignity, and for that he shall pay!
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Jan 10, 2016 23:58
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Poison Mushroom posted:That's just because CPig is bad at this game and spent the whole first episode trying to use long matches to build hype with no payoff at the end. Well we know who wont be winning the match now.
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Jan 11, 2016 01:04
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I better get pushed to the midcard! I'm not a jobber drat it! I am King of the Mountain!
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Jan 11, 2016 01:05
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I like that I am an extremely negative influence backstage, even more than Meinberg picking fights with fans. I hope it only gets worse as Ecco takes the belt.
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Jan 11, 2016 04:00
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DuckHuntDog posted:I like that I am an extremely negative influence backstage, even more than Meinberg picking fights with fans. I hope it only gets worse as Ecco takes the belt. The fans actually really love me, they just don't know it yet. Give them time and enlightenment shall fall upon their small, feeble minds.
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Jan 11, 2016 04:21
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*shits in locker room* Hey Whats Little Mac doing here? *points at feces*
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Jan 11, 2016 04:26
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Pig used to be so much better at this. I remember the old days when the matches meant something, the belts meant something, the fans, the fans we ravenous for the product. What we have is a shadow of the past.
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Jan 11, 2016 04:42
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CCKeane posted:*shits in locker room* Hey man it's okay we both fight on the side of good and stuff so I don't take offense to you not being able to control your bowels. I love and respect you for your horrible poo poo tunnel.
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Jan 11, 2016 05:19
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CCKeane posted:*shits in locker room*
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Jan 11, 2016 08:10
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CCKeane posted:*shits in locker room* Randy Orton account spotted
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Jan 11, 2016 08:26
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my fans hunger for the brains
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Jan 11, 2016 08:58
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I have put together a display of me vs opop this week.
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Jan 11, 2016 16:02
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Is the slide your phallus
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Jan 11, 2016 17:48
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I don't even know who I'm fighting this week, but I do know that I'm going to win the real battle. The battle for the hearts and minds of the people!
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Jan 11, 2016 19:21
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Poison Mushroom posted:I'm more impressed you managed to create such a precise replica of CPig's management skills. welcome to buried jobber town.
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Jan 11, 2016 21:24
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I guess we will have to wait till next week to see pmush because of the baby whining I forgot I gave some vacation time.
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Jan 11, 2016 22:03
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Meinberg's on vacation, the audience will only notice when they realize no one is walking around selling popcorn and soda.
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Jan 11, 2016 22:14
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Live from George Washington Elementary Auditorium in NJ in front of a crowd of 16 people Ittttsssssssssss GOON FIGHTS REBORN!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6adloaeyI2U SSV: Welcome to another exciting installment of Goon Fights ladies and gentlemen this is Sir Samuel Vinington and I am joined, as always, by my counterpart Grandicap at the announce table. Grandi: Hey there Sam, we've got the rest of the first round competition in both the Goon fights World Championship and the Serial Killer King cup! SSV: Indeed Grandicap and we also have Hats and Gay Mysterio in action as well as JakeP and Podima in the main event! Grandicap: It's gonna be an exciting night! But not as exciting as things used to be I tell you, guys like YPM and Jon Joe were kings of the world back then! SSV: Ok and here's Gay Mysterios entrance music so lets get straight into the action! Match 1 Gay Mysterio VS The Lord of H.A.T.S.  Match Number 2 Power of Pecota vs TMMadman  SSV: WHAT AN UPSET! INCREDIBLE! Grandicap: It's pretty good, not like it used to be but it looks like things are improving. as Pop is leaving the ring head held down in shame, Duckhunt Dog and Eccoraven begin to come to the ring. Duckhuntdog grabs the mic and the crowd boos "Listen you fat slobs it's time to pay attention! My client Eccoraven is going to rip Bottleknight from limb to limb tonight there's nothing that can stand in Eccoraven's way!" The crowd boos more loudly. "We have a surprise in store for all you dumb Jersey Shore idiots so you can have some meaning in your pathetic lives!" Duckhunt dog drops the mic and they leave the ring.  Match 3: Little Mac Vs Tremendous Taste  Match Number 4: Kashuno and Opopanax  (Welp we know who's going into a program together once the tournament ends.) Match Number 5: BottleKnight VS Eccoraven  SSV: OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL! That's not fair what a joke. Grandicap: Now THAT's the Eccoraven I remember! Yes!!! Go Ecco Kick these new guys asses!!! Capitalistpig and eccoraven continue to beat down Bottleknight in the ring and after a minute Eccoraven motions to the curtain for someone to come out and Opopanax's music starts and he walks to the ring. They hold up bottleknight and Opop delivers a Canuckle Sandwich. SSV: This is terrible somebody stop this! Grandicap: YES! Cpig Opop and Ecco! The perfect combination to set this company straight! Cpig grabs the mic amidst a sea of boos (well, a 16 person sea of boos) "Listen up you idiots! This is how things are from now on, I have the power, Opop has the strength and Ecco has the pure wrestling ability! We are The Company reborn and we are going to rule this business!" Cpig drops the mic and raises the hands of both Ecco and Opop and they bow over the unconscious body of Bottleknight before leaving the ring and bowing once more before the curtains.  Main Event! JakeP Vs. Podima  SSV: What a night folks! Join us again next week! 
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Jan 12, 2016 03:02
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Week 2 in review Wrestlers sure are bitchy   I gave both a 2000 dollar bonus and they were instantly happy and okay with the current push (until he bitches about it again next week) don't worry little buddy you'll get a push in the future. (not pmush, jerk) More web awards and such   Well well well! See, in the database you can put in a group of names (it says something awful after it all because you are forced to put last names in as well before they are created)   Yay! lets see what they came up as  Oh, another announcer  and a referee Welp, I have near limitless money to make us popular again, so I hired them both! That's really all that happened this week!
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Jan 12, 2016 03:02
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 12:50 |
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Gotta build some hype
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Jan 12, 2016 03:05
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