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s7indicate3
Aug 22, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

In.

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s7indicate3
Aug 22, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Submission - Week #211 - Next-Best Friend Week

That Much He Knew
949 Words

This is the story is of a man who, upon waking up, had absolutely no clue where he was.

He was laying on a bed, that much he knew. Probably a bed inside a house, that much he supposed. Either his own or somebody else’s, that much he theorized. Scanning around the room, he would notice a framed picture of a woman in the negative that smiled at him through black teeth on the bedside table. That much he now knew, too.

Not wanting to know anymore, he would pull the bed sheets up to his neck and stare at the ceiling. He would think to himself, “if I don’t do anything; nothing will happen to me”. This thought would calm him down considerably. And so he laid, staring at the ceiling, achieving nothing and having nothing done unto him, for the better part of an hour, being as boring as humanly possible.

That is, of course, until the natural defects of such a plan would make themselves apparent to him and cause his stomach to rumble and his throat to ache.
“Just a glass of water,” he would think, “Just a glass of a water and then I hop back into this here bed again and continue staring at the ceiling, achieving nothing and having nothing done to me.”

And so he would finally began to rustle. Tentatively at first, but the more he would move, the more he would disprove his previous dictum, the more confidence he would seem to gain. At the peak of his confidence, he would lift his body out of the bed and sanguinely plant his feet on to the frigid concrete floor, all the while making sure his gaze didn’t cross with the negative’s on the bedside table.

Now out of bed, he couldn’t help but realize how painful it was to move his body. Not agonizing per se, but rather a dull sort of pain would accompany him every step of the way to the doorway on the far side of the room, the end of the hall thereafter, and finally to the open door of what ostensibly was the bathroom; the open door neatly framing the darkness beyond it. He would feel along the inside of the wall and flip on the light switch, causing all the light to flood out of the hall and into the bathroom. The door now framing the contour-less void from the other side, as if he had flipped an hour-glass.

He would think that the switch seemed a queer thing.

The bathroom was only big enough for the porcelain-white toilet and sink, and a mirror which, upon further inspection, would seem to be held together by a piece of electrical tape along a crack that spread along the width of it. The reflection in the mirror showed the fractured face of a paltry old man in neatly pressed pyjamas with a cursive L.K. monogram stitched on to the breast. The man would be exploring his face with his hand along his smooth but wrinkled chin when he heard a maternal voice call out from the void beyond the door,
“Good morning Mr. Kooenig.”
L.K. stared into the void. He would feel his voice rebel into a ball in his throat.
“You are Lars Koeenig, no?”
L.K. would nod.
“You were out of it for a lot longer than I had expected. Well Mr. Kooenig, if you can just step into the void, we can get on our way.”
“Who are you?” L.K. would manage to push out of pathetically quivering lips.
“It will all be revealed to you if you would be so kind as to show me the courtesy of stepping in to the void.”

And so L.K. would step into the void and find his foot level with an invisible floor. The womb-like darkness stopping at his very rim. He emitted no light, but neither did the darkness encase him. He was thing in a void of nothing.

Behind a blink, a glowing red pentacle would materialize. As L.K. would approach he would notice something floating upright in the centre: the negative of the woman from the bedside table.
“Recognize her?”
L.K. would nod.
“You hosed her and made me.”
L.K. would start to see a figure form itself out of the darkness beyond the pentacle. Phasing in from the nothing as if being born. Pushing against it like film. All he would be able to make out was the contour of a human head.
“Step into the pentacle if you wish to learn more.”
L.K. would step into the pentacle. Its glow intensifying as he would approach the portrait of the woman with black eyes.
“Who am I?” LK would ask.
“You are Lars Koeenig, incubus. The woman in the picture is your succubus. Tonight is our melding. Today is the culmination of centuries of struggle. You have grown old and I have worked tirelessly to bring you Youth. Today, we shall become One and take to the nether.”
L.K. would feel his skin tighten and his knees shake as his knee caps pushed further and further inward until snapping and dropping him helplessly on the floor. Amidst screams of agony would the creature emerge from the darkness to reveal she had the body of a bird and the face of a beautiful crimson-headed woman. The succubus would begin to pluck her vocal chords,
“למה אתה מטריד לתרגם את זה”
As L.K’s eyes would roll like lost cueballs in his skull. As the slick stalks of wings would burst through the flesh on his back. As he would feel his rim mould itself out of the nothing.

As he would become One with the help of the woman in the photograph.

s7indicate3 fucked around with this message at 21:28 on Aug 21, 2016

s7indicate3
Aug 22, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

poo poo. Now I've lost all 3 times I've entered. Gotta say I'm feeling pretty low right now. Any veterans got any advice on how not to suck as much?

s7indicate3
Aug 22, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Thanks for your input guys. I'll work on not sucking right away. I can't believe my first loving line had a typo, I must've read and reread that fucker a thousand times and didn't see it. Sorry for making GBS threads up the thunder dome.

Btw spectre, sanguinely means "cheerfully optimistic, hopeful, or confident, especially in a bad or difficult situation". That's just an fyi, I still think my story sucked.

s7indicate3
Aug 22, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Schneider Heim posted:

Doing up to three crits this week, give me a holler if you want.

sure

Also, same. I'll give 3 ppl crits

Woops, posted from my alt. I'm actually Electric Owl. Anywho, I would appreciate some input on my story from this week.

s7indicate3 fucked around with this message at 15:00 on Sep 19, 2016

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s7indicate3
Aug 22, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Chili posted:

I do, and I hope to see you toxx and jump into the fight you've started.

:toxx:

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