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Maigius
Jun 29, 2013

THUNDERDOME LOSER


What the hell in

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Maigius
Jun 29, 2013

THUNDERDOME LOSER


The Final Depot
1035 words
Rescue in a desert

“They should have been back two weeks ago from setting up the final supply drop. They need our help. Jan, Kristof, take a sled team and as much pemican, oil, and medical supplies that you can carry. If we can’t get the supply drops set before winter, then we are never getting to the pole.”


Those were my orders. If the failed, all of us would likely lose everything. Karl Jacobson, the expedition leader, had invested everything he had in the in the hope of getting the fame of being the first to the south pole. Not only that, his brother, Otto, was leader of the supply drop mission. Me, I think it is too drat cold here, but I need the money.


“Jan, do you really think that we can make it to the South Pole and can you imagine how nice it will be to get the attention of all the best ladies like your daughter back in Norway? ”


“Let’s just focus on getting Otto or failing that setting up the last depot. Also do not talk about my daughter that way. A penniless cabin boy is no match for my daughter.”

Kristof may have a good heart, but he comes from nothing.

#####

Leaving the base on the edge of the Ross Sea, we set out with a team of eight of dogs. The route the expedition is taking to the pole is untested. I do not know what’s ahead, but it seems to be mostly glacier. We take it slow the first day the way to depot point, less than ten nautical miles a day. We could go faster but we have to keep a lookout for Otto.

#####

It is now day five of our expedition south. Kristof found what may have been dog droppings, but it looked to me that is was just been some discolored ice. There is too much wind and the ice is too bright to see any tracks the sledge runners made in the previous trips south. As there has been no sign of anything I make the decision to quicken the pace a bit to a full 13 nautical miles a day.

“Are you sure Jan? We could miss seeing them if they are just a little of the direct track”

“Winter is coming too soon, we should focus on getting to the depot point and setting it up. I don’t want to be on the ice when the long night sets in. Otto and his team could still be alright just stuck.”

#####

Three hours after quickening the pace, I hear a crack. Cracking, never a good sound anywhere, is an especially bad sound on the ice. It means the potential for death.

“Jan, have you fallen through the ice when skating?”

I tell Kristof of when I was young, I once accidentally broke a window. In what felt like a few seconds, my father in my face, putting the fear of God in me. I leave out the fact that hearing that crack had put the fear of God’s god on me. We continue on at current pace, I hope that I will see tomorrow.

#####

It is now day seven of our journey. I have not heard any further cracking but the terrain is getting worse. The ice is no longer as smooth as it was previously. We have still seen no sign of Otto. It is still too cold out there. We have to keep going, otherwise I will never see my wife and daughter again as I feel as if I will die out here if I do not keep going. I will never tell this to Kristof. One of us must take the supplies to the depot, and he has so much heart; he must continue even if I do not. One of the sledge dogs is getting weaker, I may forced to put him down.

#####

It has now been two weeks since setting out. I am not holding out any hope for Otto, Kristof has even started to become pessimistic. The terrain has started to become filled with crevasses. These are much more dangerous to travel around.

“Jan, could Otto and his team have fallen down one of these crevasses? Could we even help him if they did”

“It doesn’t bear panicking about about. We have to go very slow any way. If we have to take it slow, then so they would have to also. In some ways this is a good thing.” No deed to be too fatalist, I need Kristof.

#####

We have reached the site for the last depot. There’s a cairn marking the spot and I find that supplies are all stored properly. Otto’s team has at least made it to the supply drop.

“Jan, this is the best thing we have seen all trip, they at least made it this far” For once I agreed with his optimism. “After a day’s rest we turn back, we must have missed him during that windstorm a week back”

#####

We are have been traveling for three weeks since getting to the depot. Otto’s team must have taken a different path if they are still alive. It is not looking all that rosy for us, as the long night it just days away. We are down to three dogs, and are using man-hauling to make up the difference. By my calculations we are just one day from our home base. But the weather has gotten so much worse and so much colder, we have to stop. My own health is declining and I have frostbite. I do not think I will make it.

“Kristof, when you get back to civilization tell my wife and daughter that I loved them.”

#####

I did not hear his reply, I passed into a coma. We are back a home base; Kristof had saved me. Otto’s team made it back mere hours after we left, they had gotten lost in the field of creavasses on the trip back and took a longer route home. It was all for nothing.

I found Kristof and said “I have always wanted the best for my daughter and could think of nothing better introducing her to a true hero.”

Maigius
Jun 29, 2013

THUNDERDOME LOSER


Let me try for redemption. IN

Maigius
Jun 29, 2013

THUNDERDOME LOSER


An Ordinary Day
1039 words


It was morning in Valhalla, and Hippolyta, the leader of the Amazons, had just walked into my order’s hall.

Rising to greet her, I asked, “Greetings, Your Majesty, are you and your order going to be my Valkyries comrades in today’s battle. I have been so busy with preparations that I have not yet had a chance to read the day’s briefing.”

“Yes, I am, Grandmaster Reginleif, let me read you our orders.” the queen answered.

Hippolyta then read the briefing aloud, “In order to test out the new weapons, the Valkyries will assault Castle Neuschwanstein along with the Amazons. The castle will defended by the Shamans and a special mythical defender.”

“It looks to be rather straightforward, a mostly decorative castle, and our opponents do not seem that tough being mostly harmless priests and advisers” she stated.

“The castle is on a mountain, but our new weapons should counter that. Are you willing to go for an all out assault?” I asked.

“I would not be in Valhalla if I was not willing to. My troops are ready, and yours look to be as well. I shall meet you at the base of the mountain in an hour. Farewell.” Hippolyta said before turning and leaving me hall.

I stood up, put on my winged helmet, wielded my spear and shouted to my order, “Valkyries! We ride!”

-----------------------------------------------------------

We were at the base of the mountain, and were about to start the assault. Already the Amazons were readying their bows at the first sign of trouble. They would back up our charge.

“Wolves take the smaller trails and root out any traps. Horses, the main road shall be your battle. We ride!” I ordered.

“Hojotoho! Hojotoho! Heiaha! Heiaha!” my order’s war cry came loud even over the footfalls of mounts. I road up the main path as well, on my unicorn, Weiss.

We met with resistance almost immediately. The Shamans are shape-shifters and had turned into tigers, deer, wolves, and other creatures. I rode to the nearest with my spear pointed at him. It was not my normal spear with its steel tip and oak shaft. It was a new type of spear with a steel shaft and a tip made out of light.

This spear type was what we were testing. They had so far proven a waste of good steel. The tip was temperamental and I was not convinced it could score a killing blow. It was also heavier than normal, which had thrown off its balance.

Even still, I attacked the were-tiger with my spear and managed to piece shallower than I expected. I yanked my spear away. My opponent leaped at me, and I ordered Weiss to charge the leaping beast. The were-tiger was impaled on the horn. It was a killing blow!

A hail of arrows rained down, hitting both friend and foe. Thanks to our helmets most on my side were spared. The friendly fire did not matter anyway. Everyone would be revived at sunset.

I charged at the next beast, a were-deer. Again, I stabbed the opponent and again I failed to land the killing blow. I then had the great idea to use the weight of the spear to my advantage and try a jousting charge. The were-deer met my charge and I finally scored a direct hit to the head. What a shameful display that kill was! I had to preform all chivalrously, like I was a gouty knight not a Valkyrie.

I had no time to be a poet as a were-wolf suddenly swiped at me. Knowing better this time, I used my spear more as a club rather than a stabbing weapon. A least then it would be useful. After dispatching with some difficulty, I met more challengers the same way, aided periodically by a hail of arrows.

-----------------------------------------------------------

I was up at the top of the mountain next to the castle when I heard the roar of a dragon. My technique of clubbing had working on the softer opponents on the slopes but I would need to stab in order to successfully take down a dragon.

Still it was worth a shot. I had plenty of backup and I was a Valkyrie! I urged Weiss to fly, yelled my war cry, and started my approach towards the dragon.

Onward we flew, and soon we were higher than the top of the castle’s tallest tower. I was galloping closer as the dragon breathed fire at me. I jumped with Weiss and only the very end of his tailed was burned. I was then in striking distance and jabbed with my spear.

Finally! A decent blow! It seemed that the light tip of the new type of spear was at least capable of piercing scales even if fur and flesh proved difficult. The dragon recoiled from the attack and swiped at me. Luckily, I was able to dodge.

Next, I tried a thrust to the wing but was rebuffed by the worthless of my spear on less protected flesh. As the tail lashed out, I tried one last stab to the heart. The spear penetrated so deep I was pulled off Weiss. However, dragons are more resistant than you would expect and it was still alive.

The rest of my order had appeared on the scene and were also fighting the dragon. I was still hanging onto my spear still lodged in the dragon’s chest. From the ground, the even more arrows came from the ground, hitting both the dragon and me. It was then that the tip of my spear turned off and I fell.

I hit the ground hard, but was still alive until the now dead dragon fell on top of me.

-----------------------------------------------------------

I woke up in my hall. I had died and had been revived good as new at sunset. After feasting for a while, I remembered there is something I must do.

“Where is the spear that I used in today’s battle?!” I ordered.

After being handed it by a servant, I broke the spear over my knee.

“These new spears are worthless! I am never using one again!” I thundered.

As I retired to my bed with a few companions, I thought, “What an ordinary day”.

Maigius
Jun 29, 2013

THUNDERDOME LOSER


I concede the Loserbrawl. I am not able to come up with a single not dumb idea.

Maigius
Jun 29, 2013

THUNDERDOME LOSER


IN!

Maigius
Jun 29, 2013

THUNDERDOME LOSER


Market Fluctuations
625 words
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy0aEj85ifY

Adam was a stockbroker and the night before he had been drinking with the green fairy a wormwood potion. Still, he was going to be on the floor at the opening bell in a plaid suit. “Buy, Buy, Buy! I want to buy Stock A” he started to yell, but was interrupted by the sound of flamenco music coming high above him. Among the tickers, a bullfight was about to start.

The matador was shining in an elaborate costume of gold and green with his horns peeking out from either side of his hat. The bull, meanwhile, growled and clawed at the set of horns tied to his head like a baby bonnet. The matador started to take off his cape to attract his opponent but was he was distracted by it.

“Smith! What the gently caress are you doing staring at the ceiling?! We’re losing money here.” Adam’s boss screamed.

“Don’t you see the bear and bull fighting up there?” Adam inquired.

“It’s not the 80’s anymore why are you on cocaine?! Do your drat job.” was the response. After making apologies, Adam went back to stock trading, and the money started flowing with the stock market going up.

Above, the matador was waving the cape around in the proper manner and the bull was charging back and forth like is was a proper bullfight. All was right up there. The crowd below gave them no attention, even after they switched to using monster trucks, rather than their own power. The matador’s hat had fallen off his horns and the bull had succeeded in removing the false horns.

Adam wanted to take a look at the tickers again, and started staring. His boss, more attentive than normal, shouted at Adam. Adam went back to trading stocks, but could not shake the feeling that he had seen the invisible hand and that it did not know what is was doing. Adam had a nasty thought, if he intentionally tanked the market, would the bear-bull start wining over the bull-matador? Or as long as the bull-matador was winning would stocks remain high? “Sell, Sell, Sell” came unbidden from his lips.

As the artifice had passed from Adam’s mind, so did the bullfight pretensions dropped from the scene above. The two competitors had lost their grab but morphed into two teams that could not decide what sport they were to play. The ball very bouncy, but oblong and the two teams had taken to wearing sleeveless jerseys, short-shorts, helmets and pads. The running back was fouled for traveling and was awarded a ten yard penalty.

The market stagnated, with no real gains or losses for most, but Adam was determined. He looked at the two eternal competitors and asked mentally if they would consent to a fishing contests. He hoped that the bear’s natural advantage at fishing would give it an edge. The two teams morphed into two charismatic con-men and started silent calling up retirees and worked on obtaining bank information. Adam watched the farce happening above him for a few seconds and started to go back to tanking the market.

Adam’s actions had the desired effect, as he wanted to sell, so did others until the market started to snowball downward. As the closing bell rang, the bear proudly displayed its large stack of stolen information, much larger than the bull’s. As Adam walked out with his boss, they walked down the street together. Suddenly, his boss pulled him into a deserted alleyway, a faint suggestion of horns on his head. It was not the invisible hand of the market that Adam had at this throat. When the police found Adam the next morning they were hard pressed to explain the goring wounds that Adam had.

Maigius
Jun 29, 2013

THUNDERDOME LOSER


In with a flash rule.

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Maigius
Jun 29, 2013

THUNDERDOME LOSER


I'm in with a flash rule!

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