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blackmarketlimb
Dec 27, 2005


let me off this bench, motherfucker.

In.

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blackmarketlimb
Dec 27, 2005


Broenheim posted:

hey blackmarketlimb crabrock was nice enough to let you join your team even though you're a newbie and bad and imo i wouldnt have picked u up because you'd probably lose if someone failed. anyways, i want you to write a really nice thank you to crabrock, thanking him for the chance for you to gently caress himself over. oh yeah, and the thank you will be in the form of 200 word story and be about a crabrock whatever the gently caress that is. i'll give you up to a 100 words depending on how good it is.

people were saying mean things but basically WRITE A 200 WORD STORY ABOUT CRABROCK, geez guy you only read the bolded bits anyways.
Crabrock was going to beat the poo poo out of a Howitzer.

He rolled up off the beach of Normandy with the booming gun still in his ears. He'd show those loving German guns, by God, or he wasn't a failure of science that resulted in a rock formation sprouting crab legs and pinchers that could snip the dick off a whale at three thousand paces.

So on he scuttled, the German guns turning the sand in his wake into a blasted landscape that looked more alien than the distant surface of the moon. Allied troops fell around him, but still he did not stop. He had only eyes for that squat gun on a distant hillside that belched artillery.

He effortlessly beheaded a Nazi sergeant on his way and sat his rear end right on the neck stump, making the corpse into a hideous vehicle of flesh and bone that he navigated up a hill that was formerly lush with vegetation.

A platoon of Krauts fell before Crabrock's stolen MP40 before he crested the hill and he finally allowed his morbid ride crash to the ground so he could properly get down to business.

He picked up the Howitzer in his grasping claws and suplexed it so hard that it opened a crack in the hill that swallowed an entire bunker. The day was saved and fireworks exploded in the sky as Crabrock stood atop the wreckage of steel and lead, snapping his pinchers at the sky and the foolish God who would dare try to stop him.

(i have no idea what the gently caress a crabrock is so i winged it.)

blackmarketlimb
Dec 27, 2005


i was the german you beheaded.

blackmarketlimb
Dec 27, 2005


i miss my whale boner please send help

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