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Young Freud
Nov 25, 2006

StratGoatCom posted:

I read it as that a lot of these idiots are the equivalent of those morons with the walls of GPUs in the buttcoin threads - rich enough for a lot of consumer hardware, not really rich enough for that much bespoke work; not to mention, leftovers from experiments

I'd also say, likely victims of Predators that decided to go all Joseph Mengele or Idi Amin on after playing with them.

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unseenlibrarian
Jun 4, 2012

There's only one thing in the mountains that leaves a track like this. The creature of legend that roams the Timberline. My people named him Sasquatch. You call him... Bigfoot.

Halloween Jack posted:

Peasant is great!

So I related the story about Mike Pondsmith getting barred from a convention in the CP2077 thread, and someone asked me where I heard it. I realized it's basically an urban legend I've been repeating. Anyone have a source on that?

Never heard about him getting banned from a convention but he -did- get impersonated at a GAMA trade show he didn't attend once. White dude showed up bold as brass claiming to be him and if someone who knew Mike hadn't been present probably would have gotten away with it.

Also just general "People claiming to know him to his face while talking to him and apparently not reading his name badge" incidents.

unseenlibrarian fucked around with this message at 18:00 on Sep 3, 2019

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
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Night Horrors: Shunned by the Moon
The Ugly God


Not a Skeksis.

Deban Dun is a thing of fervor and devotion, coalesced around the ideas of unity and faith regardless of how they manifest in humans. When humans first sought meaning, it was there. It fed on worship intended for others, pretending to be all manner of gods that were themselves incapable or unwilling to manifest for their followers. It moved from civilization to civilization, feasting and seeking out ever greater prayer. It loved the Essence channeled by faith from those humans that were awed by the stars and the seasons. When Wolf purged the idigam, it remained hidden by cloaking itself in the many spirits that flocked to the Essence of worship. As the other idigam were sent to the moon, it learned to temper its appetites, thriving on Earth still. Of course, such temperance was unnatural to it and could not hold. The death of Wolf freed it from needing to.

Over time, Deban Dun continued its travels, feasting on faith and zeal. Crusades and holy wars nourished it greatly, goading it into appearing before mortals to create false miracles and push them to greater belief. And yet, every time it fed on religious strife and chaos, discontent entered into its Essence, deeper and deeper. This was born of its dissatisfaction that all that death and sacrifice was in the name of other gods, not Deban Dun. It wanted direct adoration. Its first true cult was born in the 1100s, in the wake of one of the Crusades. It revealed itself to a chosen group of followers as their new god, stirring them to kill for it. The cult grew into a secretive and exploitative order within other sects and heresies, a mystery cult that drew its followers in deeper and deeper before finally revealing the truth of Deban Dun. However, its decision to remain in Europe worked against it in the 1600s, when the Enlightenment hit. The steady flow of faith that it had previously enjoyed was cut down to a trickle, and after centuries of hidden influence in other faiths, it began to weaken. The sudden dropoff of Essence sent the idigam into slumber.

In the late 90s, a small group of postgrads found historical references to the secret cult within cults, tracing it back to the name Deban Dun. Fascinated by this secret sect, they researched the ceremonies and rites once performed in its name. The idigam was awoken by this sudden flow of Essence, born of repeated prayers - nothing like what it was used to, but enough to jostle it from its centuries of sleep. It became curious, fascinated by the modern world and its desperation to believe in something. Deban Dun has decided it will become the thing humans yearn to believe in. It considers divinity to be its central characteristic, differentiating it from other idigam. Its natural form evokes godly imagery of crowned, glowing creatures, so bright it hurts the eye to look upon and obscures the details of its shape. In the moments where the light flickers or fades, its body is revealed as only a crude shape meant to evoke awe, with its skin crumbling away and dripping with black ichor. The wings that jut from it are drab behind the light, covered in fleshy 'feathers' that pulse with power and harden the instant they are plucked.

Deban Dun's food is religious unity and fanaticism, and its favorite humans are extremists dedicated to their cause over all else, who will sacrifice anything for it. It prefers this dedication be focused on it, of course, rather than its old methods of stealing the faith of other gods. Every time a group gathers to speak its name or pray to its idols, it grows a little stronger. However, it is very careful. It has survived entirely by avoiding werewolves and not revealing its presence to them, lingering on long after other idigam were captured or killed. It is restrained in its rewards to the faithful, giving gifts only sparingly. Its worshipers must truly believe in it, not worship it out of expectation of benefits, after all.

Its cults have always favored feather imagery, and its has had a tendency to turn its feathers into reliquaries for them. Currently, six such feathers exist in the world, granting their bearers a fraction of Deban Dun's power. One belongs to Father Sinclair, a Catholic priest and Deban Dun cultist in a remote community. It has been passed from one priest to another in this small coastal church, kept in a glass box in the Father's office. Father Sinclair is fully indoctrinated in the faith of Deban Dun, and his sermons are rambling things full of dual meanings. The second feather is somewhere in Japan, its last intended bearer dead of the Tokyo flu epidemic of 1789. Not even Deban Dun is sure where it is now; while it could teleport to the thing, it would have to manifest, and its caution prevents it from doing so, for fear of revealing itself to a potential threat. The third is held by a young mother who called out in desperate prayer for help to anything that would listen. Deban Dun answered, gifting her and her young child a feather. The idigam cult knows about this, but even they have no idea why their god finds the pair so important. The fourth feather is on display in a former church in Odense, Denmark. It sits next to Knud the Holy, marked as a grave good buried with him. The idigam cult is currently plotting to steal it. The fifth feather is held by Laura Deacon of Houston, Texas, the current head of the idigam's cult. She serves as the heart of its servant network, ruling from a reinforced underground bunker outside the city. She wears the feather on a golden chain around her neck. The sixth feather is always entrusted to a herald that Deban Dun keeps near it.

Deban Dun maintains the faith of its cult with miracles - tangible ones, unlike many other religions. It prefers to appear in dreams, using its chosen priests as intermediaries, but is not above manifesting to an entire congregation when needed. It doesn't really care about good or evil, just being praised and worshipped. If werewolves come around, it is canny enough to leave until their hunt is over, using its scattered reliquaries to easily travel away from them. It is also able to be called just by saying its name repeatedly. It is, for an idigam, very often found among humans, seeking to spread fear and awe. Repeated prayers or speaking of its name draw its attention, especially if done by the credulous or easily intimidated, so that it can drive people to worship it.

Deban Dun is a rank 4 idigam, focused more around power and speed than anything else. It has Influence (Faith) 4 and is very good at possessing stuff and controlling human emotions with its powers. It also has telekinetic powers, can raise the dead as its servants and can control ghosts. It's not nearly as good at direct confrontation as other idigam, though. Its Ban is that it cannot directly harm those initiated as priests or holy people of a faith not its own, though it can try to influence or convince them. Its Bane is stone from the ancient Mesopotamian temple in which it first coalesced; the ruin is currently buried.


Honestly, this is almost cute. Ugly-cute, but cute.

Kaninhah A'ku is not quite like other idigam. Most descend into the world as Formless, coalescing around some obsession and shaping the world to match it. Others attempt to maintain their transient state, but few can manage it long. The pressure to be something is too strong. Kaninha A'ku, on the other hand, has given up its form over and over, abandoning permanence at the first sign of danger until, at last, formlessness has become its foundation. In the time before the collapse of the Border Marches into the Gauntlet, it was a very tricky prey for Wolf, even by idigam standards. It was among the last to be hurled to the moon, and then only after a long hunt of changing forms. Its resistance was futile, of course. Like the others, it was defeated. It spent millenia enraged over this, and where most of the idigam fell into slumber for lack of Essence on the moon, it clung to wakefulness. It, along with a few others, roamed the dead land of the moon, unwilling to admit defeat. This was the only way it had to scream defiance at Wolf, dancing endlessly through the Shadow of the moon.

It missed getting onto the lunar lander the first time, but it managed to hitch a ride on a laser pulse aimed at a reflector the astronauts left behind. It flew to Earth, chasing the other idigam, and felt the same pressure all its siblings did - coalesce, take on form. Become something. And yet it found that it could not. Surrounded by such a fascinating new world, it marveled at the changes and frantically attempted to fixate on everything it saw, each only briefly but with obsessive strength. Somehow, nothing changed for it. It remained in constant chaos, raging in confusion over its own broken nature. It has not stopped that raging, unable to find a way to take on form yet ever pushed to it by the world. It is a unique being, scarred by its primeval refusal to coalesce. It cannot understand what it has become, having coalesced around the very concept of formlessness. It can't bring itself in line with its obsessions, because it already embodies a concept. It cannot return to formlessness, because it already is. And so, it drives itself mad from paradox.

Kaninhah A'ku appears as a roiling mass of flesh and mouths and limbs from all manner of creatures. It surges through different shapes rapidly, growing rock shards and leaves and vines and abandoning them just as quickly. Vapors, sounds and tastes assault all near it, and it makes constant sounds that cover the entire sonic spectrum. It smells strongly, but what it smells of is ever-changing. It assaults the minds of human viewers with random sensation as it seeks new form over and over. Insofar as anything about it is constant, it is constantly angry. It hunts endlessly for Wolf, seeking vengeance for its existence. Every time it learns that Wolf is dead, the Gauntlet has been raised and the werewolves have taken on Wolf's role, the knowledge flees it as its memories shift in formless madness. Its search is futile, but it can at least recognize that werewolves are like Wolf. That makes them enemies and prey. It cannot tell one werewolf from another except for extremely noticeable differences - its broken, hyperactive mind is unable to fixate long enough to do so, and even the differences it can spot are soon forgotten. Packs that catch its gaze may escape it just by hiding long enough for it to forget them and blame the next group of werewolves it meets for anything they did.

Kaninhah A'ku is extremely easy to distract, but it is still a cunning and powerful foe. While it can't tell werewolves apart and attacks them regularly regardless, it has learned some signs of their presence. It is not above attacking Wolf-Bloods or humans it thinks werewolves care about as a way of drawing its prey out, and its nature means that it would be easily mistaken for a particularly weird magath rather than the potent idigam it truly is. (The fact that it is nearly constantly screaming about Wolf as it fights may help, though.) Occasionally, Kaninhah A'ku feels intensely lonely, and in these times it splits itself into lesser replicas. It inevitably grows frustrated that it cannot provide itself with true company and reunites itself in a fit of rage, but while it is split, there is a small window of opportunity for werewovles. Each fragment posesses greater clarity than the whole, having been formed around a specific emotion it was feeling at the time. It might be possible to avoid the bits full of hate and rage, finding the ones that still have some semblance of rational thought. If this were done, it is barely possible that the idigam might be negotiated with or even altered towards a more positive nature.

Kaninhah A'ku is, by idigam standards, very powerful. It's rank 5, extremely strong and tough, and has Influence (Chaos) 5. It randomly changes size each scene, and is able to hurl around blasts, mental awe, madness and entropy, it can regenerate, and it's telekinetic. It is, however, extremely bad at corrupting other beings, which means that it doesn't have much in the way of minions in its insane hunt for Wolf. Like all Formless, its Ban changes every scene at random. Unlike true Formless, though, it has a fixed Bane: logical paradoxes cause it intense pain.

Next time: Death in the Gauntlet

Flail Snail
Jul 30, 2019

Collector of the Obscure
If anyone happened to read my F&F on Knights & Legends in all of its Elvan Vagrant glory, the dude behind it released a new game. I don't own it so I'm going to be posing a new take on the "should I" questions in the OP.

Should I drop $9 on a game by some guy that hates my guts and is so against helpful criticism that he seems to have actively made his products worse?

Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

La morte non ha sesso
I mean, I spent $8 on a copy of Everlasting. Then again, I don't think Stephen Brown is an obdurate jerk.

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!

Is there any detail on the miracles that Deban Dun can grant? And, for that matter, are there any actual gods in the setting that grant miracles? Because if not then Deban Dun's faith suddenly starts being the rational set of beliefs in the nWoD...

Also hmmmmmmmmmm. A'ku the formless evil? Gee, wonder where that's been heard before... though I do like the suggestion that it could be negotiated with, mollified, given some sort of therapy at times, rather than just being a generic boss battle.

Ithle01
May 28, 2013

StratGoatCom posted:

The concept at least needed to be split across 3 different books to give enough time and space to each - Exsurgents and TITAN Gribblies, Exhuman and Transhuman Bullshit and Alien Exoplanet Fuckery. The thing is crammed into too small a space, making it so none can really get the coverage to work.

I don't know what coverage you could give these because with few exceptions they're about as shallow as a puddle. Comparing these to Shunned by the Moon is no contest and that's a game where being a rampaging murder machine is built into every character.

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
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2014-2018

PurpleXVI posted:

Is there any detail on the miracles that Deban Dun can grant? And, for that matter, are there any actual gods in the setting that grant miracles? Because if not then Deban Dun's faith suddenly starts being the rational set of beliefs in the nWoD...

Also hmmmmmmmmmm. A'ku the formless evil? Gee, wonder where that's been heard before... though I do like the suggestion that it could be negotiated with, mollified, given some sort of therapy at times, rather than just being a generic boss battle.

It can mutate people, summon ghosts, resurrect the dead (as slaves to it), command spirits to do poo poo and drive people insane. Oh, and it can implant people with a need to do a thing it wants. Besides that, it can grant signs and omens but they aren't necessarily true, it can make people hallucinate, it can very vaguely guess at the future, and it can shove any of its powers into a feather for other people to use. There are a number of other cults in nWoD with powers - quite a few, actually. Mystery cults have a tendency to stumble onto actual power.

There are definitely saner god figures out there than the one shouting "WORSHIP ME" and not especially caring who does so or why. The Catholics' official Hunters have stumbled onto a form of mystic prayer that gives them superpowers, though whether or not that comes from Actual God is an open question. The God-Machine hands out stuff to its cults if it's useful to its plans to do so. Worshipping various spirits whose desires are reasonably predictable is...a thing you can do, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Chernobyl Peace Prize
May 7, 2007

Or later, later's fine.
But now would be good.

Yeah, religion and faith in CoD especially is a weird one because depending on what your toolkit-utilization of the setting permits, you may have hideous biomechanical angels in the service of an unknowable but also deeply stupid God Machine, or spirits that give you powers for worship, or vampires that give you blood that give you power for worshiping them (this is just quiet-part-loud Catholicism, CMV), getting powers from faith in a couple different flavors (Hunter, vampire rituals, parsing Mage towers through a particularly specific lens, idk mummy poo poo?, werewolf religion, etc.), and then the big topper: Sin-Eaters and their Geists have concrete evidence of an afterlife you can directly go to, that sucks rear end.

Basically you can have "creator or bestower deity" and "what happens when you die" be completely decoupled in the setting and have the answers to each be equally valid.

Gantolandon
Aug 19, 2012

PurpleXVI posted:

And, for that matter, are there any actual gods in the setting that grant miracles?

It's common enough that a Merit (Mystery Cult Initiation) exists. On its higher levels it can give you a minor supernatural power.

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
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Night Horrors: Shunned by the Moon
Inexplicable Squid


Looks more squid than jellyfish to me.

Guara-Neghinra was present for the death of Wolf at the hands of the Forsaken's ancestors. She hid in the cracks of the world, watching the Great Predator's death from the shadows. She was overjoyed by it, the death of he who had plagued her kind, and when the Sundering tore the world apart and raised the Gauntlet, she lingered over his corpse. She listened to the dying echoes of his final howl, only then following the call to coalesce and become part of the boundary that had risen around her. She moved through the young Gauntlet, fascinated by its concept of separation. She spread her Essence widely in the nothingness, growing immensely inside the barrier. Whether the Border Marches she had known had vanished or were sealed off in the Gauntlet, she didn't know or care. She decided she would make this place her own world, where she alone ruled. She is an idigam that lives within the Gauntlet itself, drawing some Essence from it but mostly feeding on those that get caught in her tendrils. She leaves them spread through the membrane of worlds, trapping victims that pass through Loci she has claimed or those who make their own gates where she has spread.

Guara-Neghinra doesn't especially care about events outside her world except in the sense that they provide her prey. She's more interested in the creatures that live within the Gauntlet, like her, and spends much of her time determining if they are threats to her or prey. She particularly despises the Beshilu Rat Hosts, who would destroy her home realm, and likes the Azlu Spider Hosts that build it up. She dislikes the Lampreys, for their bloody Gauntlet repels her power, and so she slaughters any she discovers. She avoids the places haunted by the Geryo, for of all the things she remembers from before Wolf's death, they still terrify her most. She has hidden in the Gauntlet since the Sundering, and she's usually on the move within it, swimming along tides or currents only she can sense. She avoids areas where the Gauntlet grows thin, for they risk her form spilling into Flesh or Shadow, where she is significantly more vulnerable.

A certain body of lore has grown around the movements of Guara-Neghinra and the tales of her presence. Stories exist of drifting tendrils half-seen during the crossing of a Locus, or of strange anticipation and hunger felt in the transition, or of people vanishing mysteriously between worlds, leaving only the echo of a scream. Despite her predation on those that cross the Gauntlet, the idigam still fears werewolves, for they stink of Wolf. She considers herself a queen of the Gauntlet, but in truth she has already seen the Forsaken kill a boundary-god once, and she's terrified that they'll do it again to her if they discover her. Thus, she stalks and watches werewolves from the Gauntlet's safety, learning more about them.

As DaveB noted earlier in the thread, the Gauntlet isn't just a membrane - it's a place, the shattered and broken remnant of the Border Marches. It's too weak and broken to support physical beings for very long, yet too dense to support spirits. For most creatures, it doesn't really exist but as a boundary, because it spits them out quickly. A very few invasive beings have managed to get into the Gauntlet proper - mostly Hosts, though they tend to have only limited claim to control and inhabit the Gauntlet. True residents such as Guara-Neghinra perceive the Gauntlet as a sort of infinite misty gray nothing, occasionally divided by slightly thicker mist and fog. It isn't really a world so much as an empty place where a world used to be, without true direction or sensory cues, though the fog's thickness gives some sense of the Gauntlet's strength. Anyone who somehow gets stuck in it feels a distinct sense of something else present - something alluring, but not quite visible, just beyond reach. Loci appear as vague distortions of the fog, like shimmering static. Very few creatures can actually enter the Gauntlet proper rather than crossing it, and doing so requires potent and secret magic which frequently has great costs to the user. Werewolves can learn a rite known as Between Worlds to do it. Once in the Gauntlet, any creature able to Reach across it normally may attempt to leave as long as they are not restrained or impeded somehow. The lack of a world to 'push' against makes it harder than normal, however, increasing the effective Gauntlet strength.

Guara-Neghinra is rarely seen, but her true form is immense. It looks vaguely like a jellyfish, with countless tendrils going in all directions. Between them, thousands of needle-like pseudopods end in her sensory organs. She keeps thousands of these ears and eyes pressed against the 'walls' of the Gauntlet, spying on the worlds of Spirit and Flesh she lies between. She observes anything she can, positioning her tentacles in areas where prey is most likely to attempt the crossing. She moves slowly and very deliberately. Beneath her bulk are several fanged maws that devour anything she grabs. She is deceptively slow in her movements, drifting along the mist tides as much as she moves under her own power. Her tentacles waft about delicately. When she wants to, she can twist and turn much faster than any creature of Flesh resembling her could hope. Her tentacles latch onto her prey and drag them to her many mouths with great force.

The Between Worlds rite is a 4-dot Wolf Rite, only usable at a Locus, and it requires both a physical and symbolic defiling of the Locus' focal point. When the Rite is over, anyone using the Locus to Reach across the Gauntlet enters the Gauntlet rather than Flesh or Shadow. This lasts for a few days, at which point the Locus permanently breaks, forever losing all of its power. I did mention this poo poo had a cost.

Guara-Neghinra, for all her power, is not infallible. She doesn't catch everything she hunts. Something recently managed to escape her, dragging several of her tentacles into Flesh in the process. When the Gauntlet breach closed, these tentacles were severed. For some reason, they didn't immediately discorporate, remaining physical long enough for an old woman and her dog to find them. They have attracted considerable human interest, which is not convenient so near a Locus, and RD-13 has retrieved them to take back to their labs. Local werewolves also have to figure out what the gently caress managed to come in from Shadow, since it's strong enough to survive an idigam attack. Guara-Neghinra also often drifts through the shallows of the Gauntlet, and her massive form pushes at the 'walls,' so to speak. She causes visual disturbances in Flesh and Shadow, or sensations of resistance as creatures pass through her form, or impossible shadows. This can affect either Flesh or Shadow, though only one of the two, most of the time. It usually happens in areas the Gauntlet is very weak. Sometimes, she will snatch creatures just across the boundary that get close enough for her to grab across the Gauntlet's medium.

Guara-Neghinra is a rank 4 idigam, though as they go she's more about finesse and toughness than raw power. She has Influence (Barriers) 4, is very good at Gauntlet manipulation and can implant commands in humans, though she rarely does. Her powers allow her to start fires, drain life, heal herself, and do telekinetic bullshit. She's much more about environmental control than control of spirits or other beings, though she can spawn spirit-servants if she wants. Her Ban is that she can't leave the Gauntlet. She can reach out of it briefly, but she can never transfer her full form into Flesh or Shadow. Her Bane is the bite of a werewolf, which is one reason she desperately avoids confrontation.

Next time: Geryo

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

That seems like the equivalent of 'I am especially vulnerable to bullets, blunt force, and bladed weapons!' as far as supernatural weaknesses woof-cops have to deal with go.

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
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To be fair, the real challenge is getting to her, because she lives in a dimension that is extremely difficult to get to and she can punch you from there without you being able to punch her back.

E: basically, her Bane means that once you reach her, you get a scene of glorious carnage where you tear her apart and feel loving awesome, because you spent all that time doing the hard part of the bossfight before you arrived in her arena.

Mors Rattus fucked around with this message at 21:24 on Sep 3, 2019

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Yes, but I can't help but chuckle every time I see a horror monster with the equivalent of 'killed by regular people bullets'.

AmiYumi
Oct 10, 2005

I FORGOT TO HAIL KING TORG

Mors Rattus posted:

To be fair, the real challenge is getting to her, because she lives in a dimension that is extremely difficult to get to and she can punch you from there without you being able to punch her back.

E: basically, her Bane means that once you reach her, you get a scene of glorious carnage where you tear her apart and feel loving awesome, because you spent all that time doing the hard part of the bossfight before you arrived in her arena.
Oh, so she's those Dark Souls setpiece bosses where the challenge is getting through a gauntlet of enemies and traps until you reach the spot where you can drop down and kill the boss in a single hit.

PoontifexMacksimus
Feb 14, 2012

Night10194 posted:

Yes, but I can't help but chuckle every time I see a horror monster with the equivalent of 'killed by regular people bullets'.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeROZq0c-RY&t=38s

Seatox
Mar 12, 2012
Dungeons and Dragons 3rd Edition Epic Level Handbook: NUMBER GO UP

:sigh: Here we go, the worst bit of any D20 product, the Skills and Nickle-and-dime-trap-optionsFeats. This is going to take a while.

First off, for no good reason I can determine, they decided to put the Epic Leadership Feat, and their fancy Epic Level Cohort and Follower table ahead of all the skills and other feats. It is largely a forgettable extrapolation of the core DMG leadership table, except that it's Leadership and therefore can break lots of stuff if your DM lets you get away with it (Such as, say, getting the Leadership value high enough via stacking Charisma on your Sorcerer to take a Cohort spellcaster one level below yours).

Then it's time for Epic Skills.

Epic Skills

Epic Skills just the regular old 3rd edition skills (Roll d20 + skill modifier vs Difficulty Class), except they came up with a bunch of high DC uses for skills. Since Epic Characters have the usual Level+3 cap on skills, some of these example DCs require insanely stupidly high character levels and feat trickery to be used, and their use is often meaningless outside of insane niche situations, or completly stupid broken if you can make the Big Number (See diplomacy/perform/animal handling).

For perspective on the BIG NUMBERS WOO, in the Dungeon Master's Guide the highest example DC given is 43 for tracking a week old goblin track covered in fresh snow, which a 20th level ranger with maximum Wilderness Lore, Track, and fully stacked Favored Enemy Goblin bonuses has a 50% chance of succeeding (So a total of +33 on their D20 roll).

useless crafting
To start with, Alchemy still niche or useless, because alchemy items themselves are crap compared to real magic items - you can increase the DC of an alchemy check by 10 to speed up manufacture. Quick identification means making a D50 alchemy check to instantly identify potions or other substances without needing a lab or money. And finally, adding increments of 20 to the base alchemy check for making an item can increase the damage/saving throw of alchemy items.

Craft has the same "increase DC for faster construction" as alchemy. It's Craft, this is silly munchkin land, and making actual Magic Items is Spellcaster only, all legendary craftsmen are actually multiclass wizards or something. All an Epic Crafting skill will really give you is lots of Masterwork stuff for magic item creation (or breaking what passes for an economy in D&D land if you're playing stupid number games).

30 rogue levels and you can replicate a first level wizard

Appraise lets the appraiser effectivly Detect Magic (as the spell) on an item they're appraising, DC50.

Balance allows increasingly ludicrous places you can walk across, up to DC120 for walking on a cloud without casting a single spell.

Decipher Script replicates Read Magic. All those skill ranks, and a 1st level wizard has you beat with a cantrip.

Bluff lets you replicate the Suggestion spell for a mere +50 DC, which seems to pop up in every stupid Character Optimisation discussion ever. It also lets you fake your alignment and surface thoughts vs magical spying at DC70 and 100.

Read lips has "pronounce unfamiliar language" at +20 DC. It claims this is useful for parroting it back to someone who actually understands the language, but Comprehend Languages is a spell.

Search gives Detect Magic at DC60.

Spellcraft acts like Identify the spell at DC50, then total identification at DC70.

Sense Motive gives mind-reading at various DCs.

Use Rope replicates Animate Rope, at DC80.

Heal has two useless abilities (to give a Full Rest's worth of HP back in on hour, and then a full week's rest in on hour), because Clerics and the Heal spell exist.

Disguise just ups the amount of height/weight variation you can fake with your disguise to 50% at a higher penalty than the one in the PHB. Alter Self is a 2nd level spell that does this already, and the drat skill description notes this.

Cool tricks that are probably normal prestige class powers somewhere

Epic Climb gives you Spiderman wall, then ceiling crawling powers at DC70 and 100.

Disable Device lets you rush disarming a trap. At +100 DC, it's a free action.

Escape Artist allows a rogue who can beat DC80 to turn into an octopus and fit through a 2-square-inch gap. At DC120, they can squeeze through a Wall of Force. A theme you will note is apparantly someone really loved the idea of Walls of Force as Epic Level architecture, because it pops up everywhere in this book.

Forgery at +50DC allows the forger to just... know what a document is supposed to be, without needint to have ever seen it.

Intuit Direction gives you super-navigation powers at various DCs.

Listen and Spot give various illusion and invisibility piercing DCs. Easiest one is DC20 for noticing an invisible creature bumbling around, which is not exactly epic difficulty.

Pickpocket has entries for being the best sleight-of-hand-conjurer, at the usual inflated difficulties.

Gather Information lets the inquirer avoid suspicion at a hefty penalty.

Ride gives DC40 for standing on the saddle and fighting at no penalty, DC50 for directing the mount as a free action, and DC60 for hanging off side of the horse and casting spells like some kind of Mongolian Horse Wizard.

Swim for swimming up a waterfall at DC80.

Tumble decreases fall damage, up until perfect no-fall-damage at DC100.

Wilderness Lore is all about negating environmental damage and perfect tracking at DC60.

Making mindslavesfriends and influencing people.
Animal Empathy, Diplomacy, and Perform extend their influencing tables to include the "Fanatic" step, allowing a stupidly skilled (Beat a DC80 check at friendly, DC170 if they're hostile) animal handler, diplomat or performer to brainwash subjects (such that they gain +2 str and con, +1 will save, but lose -1 AC when fighting for you because they love you so much). The fanatic definition is listed under Perform as "Will give life to serve you" "Fight to the death against overwhelming odds, throw self in front of onrushing dragon".

Handle Animal adds magical beasts, vermin and then Other to the table, though at DC30+critter's hitdice, you're not going to be training anything personally combat useful. There's also the faster-training-for-higher-DC tradeoffs similar to craft/alchemy.

wizard supreme
Epic Concentration allows you to cast somatic spells (the ones with waving around) while grappled. This is pointless because any epic spellcaster worth their staff is going to have certain feats, magic items and/or spells that take care of that problem anyway.

Scry gives a bunch of high DCs for scry vs scry actions - learning who's scrying, scrying them back... and if you do either of those things an opposed Scry check to break the scrying. Why that requires ludicrious DCs instead of being baseline wizbiz is just one of those D20 things.

The great crime of split stealth skills

Hide just lets you extend the hiding to another creature at a penalty.

Intimidate, Move Silently, Jump, Use Magic Device and the Knowledges don't get any special tricks, apart from having bignum (which matters for certain knowledges when we get to EPIC SPELLS).

Weird psion stuff

And the two skills from the psionics handbook are ... Autohypnosis and Stabilize Self which are a grab-bag of things about resisting poison and mind control.

Why this is all pointless because wizards and clerics exist

So, with all these additions your Epic Level 40 Super-rogue can replicate a first level wizard, of which your friend the Epic Leadership Sorcerer has like, 40 on the payroll. If you're a really really good Monk you can eventually play Sun Wukong by hopping around on clouds with your class Balance skill, something that a spellcaster or a silver dragon, or a niche prestige class from a splatbook, could do about 50 levels before you.

They do emphasize that all these skill tricks are non-magical. But the discussion of Antimagic fields and dumb game design and advice is for Chapter 3 of this steaming heap of bullshit.

Next up, I go over the 19 pages of 152 feats while my eyes glaze over.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

I really want to know where splitting stealth skills into multiple skills even started.

unseenlibrarian
Jun 4, 2012

There's only one thing in the mountains that leaves a track like this. The creature of legend that roams the Timberline. My people named him Sasquatch. You call him... Bigfoot.
Move silently and hide in shadows were separate things as far back as the first appearance of thieves in Greyhawk, I think, so it's more that "Why do this" is a later addition.

Seatox
Mar 12, 2012

unseenlibrarian posted:

Move silently and hide in shadows were separate things as far back as the first appearance of thieves in Greyhawk, I think, so it's more that "Why do this" is a later addition.

D20 just pretty much took the Thief Special Abilities from basic and AD&D and plonked them into the skill system, neglecting to notice that no other class really needs skills to function (Because they're powered by rules fiat in the case of spellcasters, or attacks-per-round and the rest of the combat system for the fighter classes).

Zereth
Jul 8, 2003



On the flip side, I believe if you allow custom magic item creation you can get very large bonuses to skills fairly early, letting you hit some of these ridiculous DCs without even being epic level.

Seatox
Mar 12, 2012

Zereth posted:

On the flip side, I believe if you allow custom magic item creation you can get very large bonuses to skills fairly early, letting you hit some of these ridiculous DCs without even being epic level.

Oh, very much so. Every goofy 3rd-edition character optimization thread ever seemed fixated on the idea of stacking magic items then using Perform brainwashing to, I dunno, kill Elminster or whatever. Or using Leadership to have your cohort be Pun-pun the munchkin-god kobold, or other silly things.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

I think my favorite part of 3e is how absolutely anything meaningful is accomplished through magic. Anything and everything.

By favorite I mean I hate it.

Terrible Opinions
Oct 17, 2013



It was baffling how many 3.5 players have such an issue with static bonuses just being from expert craftsmanship instead of magical enchantment. Like somehow saying that a +5 sword can be made by amazing but non-magical smiths made me a horrible rollplayer of a DM and not a true roleplayer.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

It's one of the reasons I really appreciate stuff like Ironclaw, where magic is specifically designed not to be the main driver of plots. It's a thing people will use in their plots, yes, but overall it never really goes beyond being a tool. So the plots remain focused much more on the people getting up to intrigues and stuff.

Plus, it's neat to see a 'low fantasy' setting where magic is pretty commonly employed, it just isn't earth-shattering or epic. I like the idea of wizards as professionals and scholars rather than demigods.

Same for collegiate mages in Hams.

Seatox
Mar 12, 2012

Night10194 posted:

I think my favorite part of 3e is how absolutely anything meaningful is accomplished through magic. Anything and everything.

By favorite I mean I hate it.

It's the special-casing that really makes it reek. Stuff like Exalted, or World Tree, Werewolf, Mage, whatever - supernatural poo poo exists, is a fundamental part of the game, and every player character does magic because their magic is their physics, and the systems reflect that. Warhams, getting spells off is the same basic system as any other skill and a wizard can gently caress it up just like the 3rd tier fighter can botch an attack roll.

3rd edition, only nerds and godbotherers may play with their special subsystem, which can just do everything everyone else does, but better, and then they finally get Wish or Miracle and welp. Who needs Hide, when you have invisibility? Who needs a fighter when you have Call Planar Ally?

Zereth
Jul 8, 2003



Night10194 posted:

I think my favorite part of 3e is how absolutely anything meaningful is accomplished through magic. Anything and everything.

By favorite I mean I hate it.
Hey, hey, hey!

Sometimes it's explicitly non-magical but uses the mechanics of a spell anyway!

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952




Night10194 posted:

Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay 2e: Career Compendium

Woodsy Folk

Note that only applies with the Imperial Wood Elves. If you try to set up an illicit logging camp in parts of Bretonnia you end up with the ninja hillbilly elf equivalent of the Blair Witch Project happening to you instead.

I just wanted to call this out for anyone who is skimming the WHFRP stuff.

Seatox
Mar 12, 2012

Terrible Opinions posted:

It was baffling how many 3.5 players have such an issue with static bonuses just being from expert craftsmanship instead of magical enchantment. Like somehow saying that a +5 sword can be made by amazing but non-magical smiths made me a horrible rollplayer of a DM and not a true roleplayer.

Oh yeah. An EPIC SMITH Professional with +100000 craft (weaponsmith) will still only turn out Masterwork Longswords, unless they multiclass into i dunno, artificer or something. No Craft Magic Weapons and Armor? No cool poo poo allowed.

Yet they claim in the intro text to the ELHB that this is supposed to be modeling great heroes of myth and legend. Like Elminster.

StratGoatCom
Aug 6, 2019

Our security is guaranteed by being able to melt the eyeballs of any other forum's denizens at 15 minutes notice


Ithle01 posted:

I don't know what coverage you could give these because with few exceptions they're about as shallow as a puddle. Comparing these to Shunned by the Moon is no contest and that's a game where being a rampaging murder machine is built into every character.

Well, for the exsurgents you could do maps of activity across the system, draw out some guesses about larger patterns of activity/agendas, how they operate and establish Exsurgent 'undergrounds' to move resources around, what kinds of Exsurgent tend to be found in some regions, go into greater detail on TITAN experiments or sites, draw out the concerted counterexsurgent strategies used in various areas by both Firewall and the other groups, go into some details on Iapetus, such as maps, or maps of the various Quarantine Zones period, new viral strains and lists of sub-quarantine zone sites of interest, like Caloris or Zrbny Limited's automated mining asteroid, Persons Of Interest, such as known Exsurgents or sleepers, people suspected to be either, groups suspected of having or being made of such, and folks like the sample trader in the X-threats book. There's any number of ways that could be used to flesh things out somewhat.

Ithle01
May 28, 2013

StratGoatCom posted:

Well, for the exsurgents you could do maps of activity across the system, draw out some guesses about larger patterns of activity/agendas, how they operate and establish Exsurgent 'undergrounds' to move resources around, what kinds of Exsurgent tend to be found in some regions, go into greater detail on TITAN experiments or sites, draw out the concerted counterexsurgent strategies used in various areas by both Firewall and the other groups, go into some details on Iapetus, such as maps, or maps of the various Quarantine Zones period, new viral strains and lists of sub-quarantine zone sites of interest, like Caloris or Zrbny Limited's automated mining asteroid, Persons Of Interest, such as known Exsurgents or sleepers, people suspected to be either, groups suspected of having or being made of such, and folks like the sample trader in the X-threats book. There's any number of ways that could be used to flesh things out somewhat.

Even with all that most of these are just 'monster that attacks you because'. I'm sure you can make them more interesting, any decent GM can take mediocre material and improve it, but X-Risks doesn't offer much to work with beyond what you'd get out of a monstrous manual entry on a giant centipede, orc, or green slime.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Again it runs into the 'It's mysterious because the writers never bothered to come up with a reason' versus 'these are enigmas but there is a logic behind it if you squint' - there has to be some sense of a possible resolution or you're basically forcing the GM to do the work for you.

The former makes it hard to make any of the critters interesting to use, the latter gives GM hooks - even entire campaign ideas to use.

Robindaybird fucked around with this message at 05:10 on Sep 4, 2019

Ratoslov
Feb 15, 2012

Now prepare yourselves! You're the guests of honor at the Greatest Kung Fu Cannibal BBQ Ever!

Or you could offer like three different possible resolutions to the mystery, all mutually exclusive and satisfying.

JcDent
May 13, 2013

Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!

Night10194 posted:

Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay 2e: Career Compendium
The elfiest possible elf can hit BS 95% then and there and just never miss.

"Never miss" kinda feels wrong in an RPG, but I guess that's before you account for various conditions that may impede your aim.

Seatox
Mar 12, 2012
Dungeons and Dragons 3rd Edition Epic Level Handbook: NUMBER GO UP

Feats:negative:

Feats, little slots that you fill in as your character levels up. Options! So many options. As the book says "The epic character is largely defined by his selection of epic feats". This is actually true, because Epic Class progression is mostly an endless string of bonus feats taken from your class's bonus feat list every X levels.

This explains why there are 152 feats, 4 pages of "Table 1-36 Epic Feats" and 21 pages of actual rules, versus 37 Feats, 1 page of Feat table and 7 pages of rules in the Player's Handbook. You have options. As befitting 3rd edition D&D Feat Options, there is an enormous number of "+X bonus to a thing" entries. There's also some lovely trap options.

And there's also metamagic bullshit.

The feat list is alphabetized in the book, I've tried to sort them into vague class categories because otherwise it's just a big long list of dull text. And it's rules heavy D20 jargon, full of Special Meaning Words and assumptions that you know what a Blessed Holy Weapon is.

LEADERSHIP
Epic Leadership - unlocks the epic leadership table as per the last post.
Legendary Commander - 10x multiplier to your number of followers. One prerequisite is that you have to own a kingdom.

EPIC PLUSSES

Great Charisma, Constitution, Dexterity, Intelligence, Strength, Wisdom - spend a feat, get a +1 to a stat
Epic Fortitude, Epic Reflexes, Epic Will. +4 to fort/ref/wil save.
Epic Reptution, +4 to bluff, diplomacy, gather information, intimiate, perform - IT'S A TRAP
Epic Prowess - spend a feat, get a +1 to all attack rolls, wizard gets a nickle, fighter gets a dime. At least the fighter has lots of Bonus Feat slots to spend on this nonsense?
Epic Skill Focus - have 20 ranks in a skill, spend a feat, get +10 on skill checks with said skill. Who needs Reputation to make diplomatic mindslaves?
Epic Endurance - +10 bonus to extended running, swimming, etc checks.
Epic Speed - +30ft movement speed, doesn't stack with anything and you have to be in medium or lighter armor.

DEFENSIVE STUFF

This stuff reeks of Trap Option.

Epic Toughness - +20 hitpoints, you can take it multiple times!
Armor Skin - YOu get +2 natural armor, but naturally it doesn't stack with magic-granted natural armor.
Damage Reduction - requires 21 con, gives you 3 points of DR every time you buy it, but doesn't stack with magic items (it does stack with class features though).
Energy Resistance - 10 resistance to an energy damage type, but it doesn't stack with anything.
Extended Life Span - you don't die of old age as quickly. Because people would track that sort of thing.
Fast Healing - gives you fast healing 3 (so you heal 3 hp/round), doesn't stack with magic fast healig, you can take the feat multiple times for more fast healing.
Perfect Health - immunity to nonmagic diseases and DC25 poisons.

SPECIES STUFF
Improved Darkvision, Low-light vision - double range on innate vision abilities.
Improved Spell Resistance - +2 spell resistance if you have innate spell resistance.


ROGUE STUFF
Dexterous Will, Fortitude - Substitude a reflex save for a will or fort save once a round. Probably decent.
Epic Dodge - if you're activly dodging a target you automatically take no damage from an attack that hits you from said target once a round.
Improved Sneak Attack - another +1d6 on your backstabs, feat can be stacked multiple times.
Improved Death Attack - +2 to save vs Assassin murder.
Lingering Damage - your sneak attack damage repeats on it's victim in the next round as well. That's pretty drat nasty.
Self-concealment - you get a 10% miss chance for attacks against you, and you can stack the feat 5 times (to 50%)
Sneak Attakck of Opportunity - Attacks of Opportunity are also Sneak Attacks.
Trap Sense - you don't need to search for traps, you just autosearch for them if you get within 5ft of one.

BARD STUFF
Deafening Song - You can inflict Deafness by doing your bard song/poem/freestyle rap thing.
Group Inspiration - increases the target cap for bard songs.
Hindering Song - you can force spellcasters to make concentration checks to cast while you do your bard thing.
Inspire Excellence - Bardsong at your friends for a +4 competence bonus to an ability score. Probably stacks with most other ability score bonuses.
Lasting Inspiration - 10x duration to your bardsong's effects after you stop barding.
Music of the Gods - you can bard at things normally immune to mind effects.
Ranged Inspiration - double ranged bardsongs.
Rapid Inspiration - bardsongs only take a standard action (instead of the normal full round)
Reactive Countersong - you can ready the bard countersong (like a readied counterspell)


FIGHTING MANS

Poor bastards that they are, Paladin, Fighters, Barbarians and Rangers (And their usual prestige classes) get a long list of nickle-and-dime powers. They'd be EPIC if it was just them. Monks could probably use some of this stuff, if they had the feat room for them.

Bane of Enemies - ranger racism makes any weapon they have a bane weapon against their favored enemy
Blinding Speed - 25 dex to qualify, but it gets you 5 rounds/day of Haste split up however you like.
Bulwark of Defense - Dwarven Defenders class power boost. +4s and +6s to stuff.
Chaotic Rage - barbarian ALIGN WEAPON WITH CHAOS TO SMASH ... for 2d6 extra damage against lawful critters as per a Chaos weapon, and it doesn't stack with a Chaos weapon. Garbage.
Combat Archery - you can shoot a bow without getting hit by attacks of opportunity.
Death of Enemies - ranger racism forces a save or die for any favored enemy they crit against.
Devastating Critical - as Death of Enemies, but for favored weapon against everyone.
Dire Charge - FULL ATTACK WHILE CHARGING:black101:
Distant Shot - If you can see it, you can shoot it with no range modifiers.
Epic Weapon Focus - it's yet another +2 bonus to your favorite weapon type
Epic Weapon Specialization - +4 damage to your favorite weapon
Holy Strike - Chaos Weapon but for paladins, and doesn't stack with Holy weapons, like, say, the Holy Avenger. Double garbage.
Improved Aura of Courage/Despair - +8 on saves vs fear if paladin, -4 on victim saves if blackguard.
Improved Combat Reflexes - you get infinite Attacks of Opportunity in a round, but only once per target.
Improved Favored Enemy - +1 to the standard list of ranger racism rolls and damage.
Improved Manyshot - shoot as many arrows as you have Base Attacks
Incite Rage - when you rage, your allies can rage too (unless they don't want to).
Instant Reload - you fire a specific class of crossbow as fast as a bow.
Legendary Wrestler - +10 to using grapple.
Mobile Defense - Dwarven Defender can shuffle around 5ft at a time while doing their stance thing.
Mighty Rage - barbarian gets +8 str/con, +4 will saves while angry. That you cannot buy this feat multiple times makes you even more angry, but you don't get bonuses for that either.
Overwhelming Critical - more damage on critical hits with your favorite weapon type.
Penetrate Damage Reduction - all your attacks count as having +2 enhancement for overcoming damage reduction.
Ruinous Rage - raging barbarian ignores object hardness when hitting things, also doubles strength when doing the "break object" action. Pretty good if you need to smash out of an adamantine box or something.
Spellcasting Harrier - if you threaten a caster in melee, they take 1/2 your level on concentration checks to cast defensivly.
Storm of Throws - You can throw a light weapon at everyone within 30 feet.
Swarm of Arrows - Shoot everyone within 30ft in a single full-round action.
Terrifying rage - intimidate people who see you raging
Thundering Rage - your weapon is a Thundering weapon (does sonic damage and deafens) while you rage.
Two-weapon rend - damage bonus if you hit with two weapons
Uncanny Accuracy - you ignore cover when shooting
Unholy Strike - blackguard Holy Strike.
Widen Aura of Courage/Despair - bigger paladin/blackguard auras.


TWO ARMS BAD, FOUR ARMS GOOD
Multiweapon Rend - an epic feat for weird things with more than two arms (we will meet them later), for doing more damage when they hit with more than one weapon.
Perfect Multiweapon Fighting - drive everyone insane with dice rolls because you can make a full attack of full attacks with your multiple arms.


OBLIGATORY MONK HATE

Monks get the least Bonus Feats at epic level. D&D hates monks.

Improved Ki Strike - +1 enhancement bonus to your unarmed fist attacks per feat slot.
Keen Strike - monk punches crit on 19-20 instead of 20.
Exceptional Deflection - You can deflect any ranged attack like the PHB Deflect Arrows power (including ranged touch attacks, like various wizard beams).
Reflect Arrow - deflected ranged attacks are reflected back at their sender.
Righteous Strike - Like Chaotic Rage and Holy Strike, your fists count as +2d6 lawful weapons vs chaotic creatures. Probably more useful for a monk than the other two.
Improved Stunning Fist - +2 to the DC of your monk stunning fist attack per feat slot.
Infinite Deflection - you can deflect an infinite number of ranged attacks, instead of just one per round.
Shattering Strike - use concentration skill instead of strength when doing the "break object" move.
Vorpal Strike - your unarmed attacks are vorpal (decapitates a target on a natural 20).

MOVEMENT THINGS
For when you're not under a continual flight effect.

Legendary Climber - you can climb at the same speed you move normally without penalty.
Legendary Leaper - your jumps are not restricted by height (just your Jump skill rank).
Legendary Tracker - you can track ANYTHING. Even if they're flying.
Legendary Rider - You can ride any kind of mount, bareback, with no penalty, and you never have to make Ride skill checks in battle to control your mount.


KNEEL BEFORE MONTE COOKWIZARD AND DESPAIR

There's so much spellcaster bullshit, and remember, this is 3rd edition, where an unsaved disintegrate is an instant kill, Haste breaks the action economy and Harm drops a target to 1d4 hp on a failed save.

Improved Spell Capacity - each time you buy it, you get a spell slot one level higher than the highest level slot you already have. So, buy it twice and you unlock a 10th and 11th level spell slot. There are no 10th and 11th level spells, but you can use those slots to stack Metamagic Feats, so eventually you're slinging Maximized Heightened Empowered lightning bolts around (If you're a sucker). It also lets you use your high ability scores for even MORE bonus spell slots of that size.

Enhance Spell - In a surprising display of sanity, 3rd edition damage spells have a cap on the number of dice-per-level rolled for damage that increases by level of spell (So Fireball and Lightning Bolt cap out at 10d6, Cone of Cold does 15d6). This metamagic adds 10 to that cap by adding 4 to the level of the slot needed to hold that spell. Kind of a trap in 3rd edition, save or die is king.

Intensify Spell - Super maximize-empower metamagic, but instead of it being 1.5x more numbers on a spell per normal empower, it's 2x. And it specifically disallows combining it with other dice-trick metamagic, so no Enhancing. And it takes up a slot 7 levels higher. It's probably a trap option to use with attack spells, because Save or Die.

Improved Heighten Spell - Heighten Spell without that pesky 9th level limit. Take that 15th level spell slot, shove a disintegrate in and laugh as nobody can make the save against it.

Improved Metamagic - You know how Metamagic is limited by increasing the spell slot level? This lowers the amount that all your metamagics raise it by. By one level every time you take the feat. I'm not sure how this interacts with Heightening.

Epic Spell Focus - +6 to the save DC of whatever spell school you pick. Like Transmutation. Or Necromancy. Disintegrate and Finger of Death HARDER. Fortunate that you can't stack it, only pick a different school each time you pick it.

Epic Spell Penetration - +6 to the caster level check to overcome Spell Resistance. A must have.

Familiar Spell - Your familiar can use now use a single 8th level spell you know once a day. Why is your liabilityfamiliar not in a luxurious fortified extra-dimensional safe spot sipping mojitos at these levels? Why are you spending feats on this?

Automatic Silent, Still, QUICKEN Spell - for each time you pick one of these feats, your next 3 levels of spells automatically get that metamagic applied. You can buy this multiple times, so it stacks. Buying automatic quicken spell 3 times lets you cast any of your 9th level spells that qualify (that is, they take no more than a round to cast) as quickened spells. At least you only get one quickened spell a round and you can only quicken spells that take less than a round, but that's a pair of back-to-back Meteor Swarms, or two Wishes. Without needing Improved Spell Capacity to fit the metamagic on them. And automatic Silent and Still spells? Grapple rules can go in the trash where they belong, for the WIZARD WILL NOT BE BOUND! (what an rear end in a top hat).

Multispell - Remember how I said "at least you only get one quickened spell a round?". Every time you take this Feat, you get ANOTHER QUICKENED SPELL A ROUND.

Improved Combat Casting - you don't get attacks of opportunity against you for casting in melee, making every Epic Rogue cry into their drink at all the free Sneak Attacks they will never get on you.

Ignore Material Components - Uh. Never need material components again. I think this also includes the expensive ones. That's the sound of the Cleric chain-casting True Resurrection.

Permanent Emanation - permanently have an emanation spell running. A quick flip through the PHB shows those are all divination stuff like Detect Magic/Detect Good, etc.

Spell Knowledge - mostly for Sorcerers and Bards, you get two more spells known.

Spell Opportunity - you can use touch spells as an attack of opportunity

Spell Stowaway - you pick a spell, and if someone else uses that spell, you get the spell applied to you.

Spontaneous Spell - you can convert prepared spells into one specific spell (like a cleric and cure spells, but for any caster).

Epic Spellcasting - Unlock access to :science:EPIC SPELLS. Non-fullcasters need not apply. All of Chapter 2 is devoted to this subsystem, because of course it is.

MAGIC ITEM CONSTRUCTION AND MANIPULATION

Augmented Alchemy - Lets you make your alchemical item AoEs and DCs higher by making the alchemy check to make them harder. Wait, didn't we already have that in the skill? Who edited this crap? Well, at least this is obviously a Trap Option.

Additional Magic Item Space - Lets you wear more than the Regulation Amount Of Magic Items. One more of a specific class every time you take this feat, so 3 magic rings, or spend 4 feat slots to be able to wear 5 magic belts like some kind of Tetsuya Nomura character art.

Craft Epic Magic Arms and Armor, Epic Rod, Epic Staff, Epic Wondrous Item, Epic Ring - Lets you craft +6 or higher items and all the shiny toys in Chapter 4, breaking the normal +5 limit.

Efficient Item Creation - Useful if you're holding strictly to craft time limits for magic items, because this is EPIC LEVEL where magic items can cost 1,000,000gp to make, and it normally takes a day per 1000 gold. This ups the rate to a day per 10000gp.

Master Wand/Staff - you can spend a spell slot to power a wand/staff without spending a charge from the item. This would be a useful trick... for a spellcaster 20 levels ago.

DRUID: AS POLYMORPH SELF

Beast, Dragon, Magical Beast, Plant, Vermin, Improved Elemental, Gargantuan, Colossal, Diminutive, Fine Wild Shape - Each of these feats adds a new option to Druid Wildshaping, which is a fuzzy mess at the best of times in 3rd edition (since it acts like Polymorph Self/Other, which is also a huge mess in 3rd edition). There's probably some really cheesy stuff you can get access to if you've memorized all the Monster Manuals and splatbooks.

Beast Companion hangs off Beast Wild shape (Beast being a slightly smarter animal by 3rd edition's typing system), letting you take a Beast instead of an Animal as a sidekick.

CLERICAL ERRORS

Improved Alignment-Based Casting - your good/bad/law/chaos (pick the one you have the domain for) spells are +3 caster level. Doesn't stack with the +1 from having the domain.
Negative Energy Burst - inflict negative levels on the living by doing the evil cleric rebuke undead.
Planar Turning - turn undead, but for Outsiders (angels, demons, etc).
Positive Energy Aura - makes weak automatic turn undead checks against everything without needing to spend a turn undead.
Spectral Strike - negate the automatic 50% miss chance that incorporeal creatures have. Requirements are low enough a Paladin could use this too.
Spontaneous Domain Access - you can convert prepared spells into domain spells, like the cleric cure conversion power.
Undead Mastery - command 10x your level hit-dice in undead.
Zone of Animation - use rebuke/command undead to make zombies or skeletons from corpses.

And that's all the Epic feats, but they helpfully reprinted a bunch of other non-epic Feats that are used as prerequisites from other sources - I think they're mostly from the 3rd edition Forgotten Realms sourcebook.

Next up: :science:EPIC SPELLS oh boy

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952




Ratoslov posted:

Or you could offer like three different possible resolutions to the mystery, all mutually exclusive and satisfying.

But we aren't playing good games in here.

Ithle01
May 28, 2013

Robindaybird posted:

Again it runs into the 'It's mysterious because the writers never bothered to come up with a reason' versus 'these are enigmas but there is a logic behind it if you squint' - there has to be some sense of a possible resolution or you're basically forcing the GM to do the work for you.

The former makes it hard to make any of the critters interesting to use, the latter gives GM hooks - even entire campaign ideas to use.

See I sort of agree, but don't even need that much. It's mysterious because the writers never came up with a reason can work fine if the writers actually did their jobs properly. The writers of EP did not do their jobs properly. All of these X-Risks are just here to kill you because you exist, they don't want anything except death or brains most of the time and they straight up refuse to communicate, they just exist to kill. In a setting with video-game save points, so it's even less interesting than if they existed in a normal dnd game where death has a meaningful cost. On top of that, there's very little room to maneuver with this in a setting where half the enemies are infectious diseases that can only be cleansed with fire from space. Okay, like, take the monster that's basically a human centipede composed of limbs. Why does this exist? If you actually wanted a real monster you could recycle the limbs into proper cyber-hounds that gestate in months and turn into a much more effective monster, that I might actually use. Or recycle the limbs into Furies and fork into them. The only sort of person that would invent lovely Frankenstein is someone who is trying to recreate their own version of Human Centipede in space because they have space madness. This entry is literally a waste of words, nothing would have been better than that. This isn't the only one either. I've got at least four more from just this latest entry that are worth about the same.

Also, if you're going to make a monster that's nothing but arms give me some rules for firing fifteen different machine guns at once, come on.

Ithle01 fucked around with this message at 09:02 on Sep 4, 2019

Gantolandon
Aug 19, 2012

Ithle01 posted:

The only sort of person that would invent lovely Frankenstein is someone who is trying to recreate their own version of Human Centipede in space because they have space madness.

It's less space madness and more space edgelordism. The fight with leftover monsters isn't complete without their maker lecturing you through the mesh and getting increasingly pissed you're not disgusted or frightened.

JcDent
May 13, 2013

Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!
Meanwhile, Glory was created by a TITAN that used to be a 4chan server

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Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

JcDent posted:

"Never miss" kinda feels wrong in an RPG, but I guess that's before you account for various conditions that may impede your aim.

They go down to 55% when shooting at someone with cover and higher range, and to be at a range where they have the actual 95% they'd need to be within a range where most fast PCs can get at them fairly quickly. A shield would take it down another 10%. It's still good, though. The 95% is under pretty optimal conditions. Also, still have to do damage, and depending on armor they might be able to handle that. Similarly, if they're shooting enemies the rest of the team has locked into melee, it would go down to 75%.

Ranged weapons are very useful specifically because they can't be active-defended, and they do decent damage if you're good with them. Also great for picking off enemy ranged people or killing wizards or light targets. But there's a reason the majority of fighting ends up done in melee. The other reason is most people can reach someone shooting them in two or three turns at a full run, and running does make you harder to hit; characters are significantly more mobile relative to the ranges of ranged weapons in WHFRP 2e than they are in 40kRP.

E: The other thing is dealing with all these penalties assumes someone who is trying not to get shot. Characters won't regularly crouch in cover and someone Running in a spot where they might end up in melee is in real danger since Run gives -20% to BS to hit you but +20% to WS to hit you, so if you have melee buddies ready to intercept before they get into Charge range they can pay for it hard. Similarly, bows are great for ambushing people (like Rangers want to do) because 2-3 (depending on level) shots at +20% to hit are nice and then you keep slamming them before they can get to you. Ranged is one of those things where it's nice to have at least one character who's good at it, and everyone should carry a ranged weapon if possible, but it's a specialty while melee is the basis of the combat system.

Night10194 fucked around with this message at 12:22 on Sep 4, 2019

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