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Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018



Night10194 posted:

That was my thought as well. That they're bigass mindless frogs suggests something that was supposed to make Slaan that's gone really, really wrong.

If that's so, getting the lizardmen over to it would solve so many problems, given their, uh, lack of access to any functional Slann pits.

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Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009



Mors Rattus posted:

If that's so, getting the lizardmen over to it would solve so many problems, given their, uh, lack of access to any functional Slann pits.

Or could be they were meant to be attack animals of some kind, or even mounts.

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018



Those solve a different kind of problem.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.


Mors Rattus posted:

If that's so, getting the lizardmen over to it would solve so many problems, given their, uh, lack of access to any functional Slann pits.

Assuming more Slaan would fix anything. I always got the sense the problems for the Lizards were A: They're biological expert systems operating on information that has since become very out of date, and was partial anyway, and B: Lord Mazdamundi is unhelpful. Very unhelpful. It really depends on the degree to which Slaan can actually adapt, like Skinks.

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018



Night10194 posted:

Assuming more Slaan would fix anything. I always got the sense the problems for the Lizards were A: They're biological expert systems operating on information that has since become very out of date, and was partial anyway, and B: Lord Mazdamundi is unhelpful. Very unhelpful. It really depends on the degree to which Slaan can actually adapt, like Skinks.

If nothing else you still get an extremely powerful wizard that is willing to fight Chaos and the undead for centuries without rest.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.


Yeah, it's definitely 'this is probably something the lizards should know about and might cause the first lizard presence in Bretonnia in quite awhile'.

Now THAT would be a confusing situation for everyone involved, when an army of lizards shows up unbidden because some merchant after chocolate ended up telling them about the Black Chasm.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009



Night10194 posted:

Yeah, it's definitely 'this is probably something the lizards should know about and might cause the first lizard presence in Bretonnia in quite awhile'.

Now THAT would be a confusing situation for everyone involved, when an army of lizards shows up unbidden because some merchant after chocolate ended up telling them about the Black Chasm.

And there's the event to kick off a campaign if ever I've heard one.

I wonder if Bretonnia even knows the lizards exist.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.


Which is part of why the sourcebooks in this line are so good: Count how many 'This could definitely make a good campaign' hooks there are in each of them. I mean I'm like 1/3 of the way through the provinces and we already have weird mutant knights, two different ways to possibly kick off the Bretonnian Revolution and wheel out Madame Guillotine, and the possibility that the Brets are sitting on a resource that could potentially make a huge difference for someone they don't even know about half a world away.

Almost every book in the line has a ton of places where it basically signposts 'this could change history, just insert PCs.'

Night10194 fucked around with this message at 21:02 on Jul 27, 2017

The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007



Mors Rattus posted:

If that's so, getting the lizardmen over to it would solve so many problems, given their, uh, lack of access to any functional Slann pits.

How badly do you reckon they'll gently caress up the world trying to repair the pit?

The Lone Badger fucked around with this message at 21:35 on Jul 27, 2017

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009



The Lone Badger posted:

How badly do you reckon they'll gently caress up the world trying to repair it?

Less badly than the elves. :v:

The lizards usually do accomplish whatever they set out to do. It's more that they don't consider anyone to be people and have zero regard for collateral damage or what anyone else thinks of what they're doing. They're on the side of order and even good, but they do not give the slightest whiff of care for what anyone else wants, feels, or thinks.

Cythereal fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Jul 27, 2017

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018



Yeah, as far as they're concerned, you can do literally anything you want as long as it doesn't get in their way, but God help you if you do get in their way, because they don't care about their own lives all that much and certainly don't care about yours.

E: like, their standard interaction with any human that stops by and doesn't immediately try to kill them is 'take as many pearls as you want, they're worthless, but you can't have any gold because we use the gold for important things' and then the moment you touch the gold they will hurl you into the murder pit.

Firstborn
Oct 14, 2012

i'm the heckin best
yeah
yeah
yeah
frig all the rest


I read that splatbook, and I guess couldn't read in between the lines as much as Night. Never stop posting. I'm in flavortown.

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.




Grimey Drawer

I see giant, horse-eating frogs, and can't help assume that it's a French joke.

Wapole Languray
Jul 4, 2012



AmiYumi posted:

Wait, I get how simplifying the number of traits you have to keep track of and "leveling up" to regular strength in-game makes sense as child-friendly introductory rules, but how is slapping a bunch of numerical penalties on everything supposed to be "introductory"? I get that it's more "realistic", but who cares about that when the point was to simplify the game for kids?

NPC's use PC stats for humans, so if you don't you have children with no actual differences statistically from full-grown adults. Also, the rules are an add-on to the base game, originally optional rules in a separate companion book that was just merged into the core when they translated it from french. Also, not written by the original author but another. So, yeah but it's hardly difficult to just... get rid of that weakness. It's not gonna actually break the game any. The whole game is very toolkit like actually, with pretty much any rule or system totally removable without affecting any other part of it. Like... you could pare it down to just Strengths, Weaknesses, and the base dice mechanic and have a perfectly functional game with no issues.

The "Strength" for advantages and "Strength" as in physical strength I think is also a translation goof, I'm betting they were two different words in French but they didn't realize they translated both the same. It's super clear from context which is which though, and whenever you talk about actually rolling it's always written as "Strength Test".

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.


I imagine the rolls for pregnancy and childbirth are partly because the setting focuses a lot on your community and your group/family, and those things would be very important to the characters.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009



Night10194 posted:

I imagine the rolls for pregnancy and childbirth are partly because the setting focuses a lot on your community and your group/family, and those things would be very important to the characters.

I'd also think because player mortality is expected to be unusually high given the stone age setting, so making a family at all is an important goal for the characters.

Servetus
Apr 1, 2010


Mors Rattus posted:

So like

I'm just imagining Usein as the home of the Knights of Wundagore. I realize they're probably not mutants that look like beastmen, but still the idea of noble, heraldic knight-beastmen trying to go 'no we are still human' is hilarious.

I would love to play a character like this, the squire or child of one of the knights of Usein. Now he has been knighted and has left to quest for the Lady's favour, with the help of a face concealing helmet with holes for his horns and explanations that he has sworn not to reveal his face until his quest is completed. The Cloven hooves are a little harder to hide.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.


Servetus posted:

I would love to play a character like this, the squire or child of one of the knights of Usein. Now he has been knighted and has left to quest for the Lady's favour, with the help of a face concealing helmet with holes for his horns and explanations that he has sworn not to reveal his face until his quest is completed. The Cloven hooves are a little harder to hide.

It'd be a fun way to use the incredibly extensive mutation rules from Tome of Corruption without playing as Chaos douchebags.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009



Night10194 posted:

It'd be a fun way to use the incredibly extensive mutation rules from Tome of Corruption without playing as Chaos douchebags.

Unless you get one of the mutations like your blood is eyeballs or mice. That one would be hard to explain if you take a bad scrape at a tournament.

Servetus
Apr 1, 2010


Cythereal posted:

Unless you get one of the mutations like your blood is eyeballs or mice. That one would be hard to explain if you take a bad scrape at a tournament.

That's kind of a problem trying to build that character, if the GM insists on rolling out your starting mutations there is very little chance of getting something viable.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.


Servetus posted:

That's kind of a problem trying to build that character, if the GM insists on rolling out your starting mutations there is very little chance of getting something viable.

Yeah, you'd have to pick some cool mutations instead of just rolling randomly.

Servetus
Apr 1, 2010


Night10194 posted:

Yeah, you'd have to pick some cool mutations instead of just rolling randomly.

Well, if the basic idea is to have him look like a beastman the most obvious way to do it would be to grab the mutations for the basic Caprigor. Bestial appearance, animalistic legs, and Horns. Sort of depends on what the GM is OK with.

potatocubed
Jul 26, 2012

*rathian noises*


Alien Rope Burn posted:


"Bambi will never lose another family."

...where are his legs?

JcDent
May 13, 2013

Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!


drat, the inklesspen dude works fast, my updates for Degenesis are already archived!



Degenesis: Rebirth
Primal Punk
Chapter 1: Forward

Chapter 1 begins with a fairly boring one page story about the guy who swats a fly just as the meteors hit. At least that’s what I think happens. It’s supposed to set the tone, but I’ve read this “people go wild/stay very human” thing many times and in many other places before. It does tell us that people knew what was going to happen – they had sattelite and space feeds broadcasting Armageddon pay-per-view. Somehow, nobody tried to stop the rock.

But enough of that. Let’s get to the good stuff.

ESHATON

2073: the entire Earth got wrecked by meteors asteroids.

quote:

As the Earth’s crust fractured, cracks burst across the planet’s surface. Giant clods the size of cities shot skyward. Great waves of magma rose to consume the earth, turning entire cities into lifeless wastelands. More were flattened by the stone hail, tsunamis, and earthquakes that followed.

They take pains to mention that it’s not only Europe and Africa – the area the setting is most interested – got poo poo pushed in via space rock. Asia, the Americas, Australia – all of them get some asteroid love.

More great writing follows:

quote:

That day, society as it was known crumbled. 10.000 years of civilization vaporized in a day. That day was given many names by the few survivors: apocalypse, global conflagration, Armageddon. Worn-out phrases to help them accept the finality of it all. A last bottle of wine, cold metal against the temple, a crooked finger. And that was it.

Literally the next paragraph states that wait, “all the eschatological doctrine of the world” foretells doom as a precursor to the good times, so you only need to sit and wait. I guess the suicidal guy in the previous paragraph was an atheist.

ICE AGE

A.K.A. Non-nuclear nuclear winter. Clouds covered the sky, there was ashen rain… and then the snows came. Winter was there to stay: polar icecaps remembered what it feels like to expand, Northern Europe got snowed upon, Finland didn’t notice the difference and people took shelter underground, only resurfacing for combustible material (and food – I doubt that /innawoods/ became a big enough thing by 2073 for survivor enclaves with MREs for 500 years as well as a single roll of toiler paper to emerge).

Africa, however, caught a break for the first time in recorded history. The Southern Africa got covered in ice (thus making “nice South African” an even more obscure of a myth), the Equatorial winds swept dust storms to the north and to the south, and it started raining in Sahara. Northern and Central Africa apparently now has Mediterranean climate all over (even thousands of kilometers from any sea?) and Sahara is blooming. :science101:

RESURRECTION

So eventually all the ash fell to the ground, summer came to melt the snow, grass grew for cows to poo poo in, and life in general returning to post apocalyptic normal. Human survivors traveled around looking for food, combustibles and shelter. However, some emphasized the hunter part of “hunter-gatherer” :black101:

quote:

The trails tore and drifted across the plains, forever altering more than a few who valued human life less than a full belly. Mankind was still infected by infamy and greed, with a cure yet to be found even in these times. Clans united and fought bloody battles over scarce resources against settlements and city states alike. So few people remained after the Eshaton, and still they only aimed at cracking each others’ skulls.

Literally the next paragraph states that the cities lived and thrived, and even built themselves up! Take that, dirty clanner rats! As you can expect, the “clans” are the barbarians of the setting, with all that it implies.

In the 500 years of Eshaton, thirteen new cults and seven cultures arose in Europe and Africa. The players are likely to belong to one or two of them. Civilization is doing quite well, even if you need to put down clanners now and then.

But “other humans” might not be the biggest problem of them all!

INFECTED

Asteroid crashing straight into your civilization centers? Bad. Asteroids also bringing alien life them? Worse. Alien life being some sort of genetics-level John Carpenter’s The Thing? The worst!

quote:

The Primer. A mysterious substance that leaked from the craters years after impact. It rose as a
black mist, embedding microscopic spores into organic matter. The spores unraveled and coiled in fractal loops around the very DNA of its host. Adding nothing, but instead rebooting its genetic code and opening alternative pathways to corrupt.
The Primer infected, rejected and optimized a new species.
It was the birth of Homo Degenesis.

Remember idiot narrator from the first fluff piece? Put his hand right into Primer, the idiot.

Supposedly the new humans are better adapted (to what? The environment that Primer spawned just as it did them? I don’t think that counts) and more powerful (no argument there). However, humanity fought back. How?

SEPSIS

You won’t find that out in this paragraph!

To summarize this section, the Primer is also a mushroom. A circular field of mushroom covers the center of the crater, digs deep, leeches nutrients, builds an outer wall full of spore sacks and eventually collapses, spreading the seeds outward. Repeat until you have a problem that will require PC interference, and now many parts of Europe are thus covered. I hope you like the word “mycelum!”

MOTHER SPORE FIELDS

Sepsis is going to be a Capitalized Word Of Importance, and Mother Spore Fields will be annoying, too. Mother Spore Field is a mushroom circle that has grown beig enough that magnetic anomalies start appearing in the center. How and why? I don’t know.

BURN

Besides being attractive to people who like throwing nuts and bolts in front of themselves as they walk, MSFs produce “purple cusps” (whatever the gently caress a cusp is supposed to be in plantlife) that are full of :catdrugs:

quote:

Those who inhale or ingest the mother spores are hurtled onto a journey beyond human comprehension. They traverse spheres of cascading color, and find themselves orbiting a resplendent sun made of the basest and purest emotion. Cold suddenly becomes bearable. Hunger is just a dying star within the brain’s neuron galaxy.

Fortunately, Burn isn’t vital to space travel. Unfortunately, Burn can be found on Earth rather than Arrakis and serves a very devious purpose.

PHENOTYPE

The paragraph starts with “Burn burns” as the first sentence. What they mean is that Burn gets into the blood stream, and eventually tiny veins start surfacing and breaking the skin. Each junkie is thus branded. And not only that, each of the seven regions have their own markings. Why? The last paragraph of this section gives us the answer:


dunno lol :iiam:


HOMO DEGENESIS

THE SEED

Seriously, it’s hard to determine what is section and a subsection in this book. Anyways, the Seed. The Burn spores remain in the body long after use and some poor fuckers end being Typhoid Mary’s.

quote:

The blossoms of decay tickle the back of the infected’s throat. Fungus spreads around their mouth.

:gonk:

They spread Seed with their spit, with their breath… and just kinda being around. Sepsis spreads from them and eventually becomes airborne to infect others. They are called Leperos (get it?) and fire is the only way to deal with them. *40K players in the audience suddenly get a lot more interested* :flame:

EPIGENESIS

So any adult that contracts Sepsis is hosed, because their cells are “fully formed.” If you’re infected, you’re ‘shroom food, just like our idiot narrator from the first fluff piece.

Unborn babies, however…

quote:

Babies born close to Mother Spore Fields are different. Their eyes are cold as a starry sky. They don’t recognize their mothers, but they smell the milk, follow it like a bee follows the scent of nectar. They climb and claw their way up and onto the waiting breasts, suckling until there’s nothing left but blood and they are violently torn from the trough. They flail with their little arms and legs and cry out in a way that makes the Clanmen quick prayers.

They’re called Soulless Ones, Aberrants or Psychonauts (remember that for the future). They elicit fear in people. Smarter folks just kill them (bashing against a rock is mentioned). The really God-drat stupid ones regard them as a curse from a vengeful lowercase-g god and keep the baby around because to throw him out would be to betray the circle of life what the gently caress :psyduck:

In case you’re an extremely stupid tribal who didn’t prescribe the kid some rock to the head, the kid grows older, and bugs start getting friendly with him/her/xer, drawing mandalas in the sand around them, climbing their legs and hiding in their hair. And no, this isn’t just dirty barbarians getting lice (though that would be funny). Think more “get it off getitoff GETITOFF” kinda bugs.

The kids are emotionless and mute; they demand sustenance and escape clothing. So you now you have prepubescent nudist emos that make bugs exited, great. I guess if you were stupid enough not to run away from a spore field, you’re stupid enough to keep one of those around.

Then they start developing mutations and super powers! Just like Burn junkie signs, those are region exclusive. For example, Pheromancers are Franca’s problem. I wonder if it’s some joke about perfume?

PORTENTS AND WONDERS

The phenomenon/powers end suddenly; earth burns up around the child, and a sign briefly appears in the dust before collapsing like one of those metal shawing drawings when you turn the magnet off (that’s the book’s idea). Those symbols are kinda different.

quote:

The Spitalians know it only too well. These symbols are diff;erent from those that blossom on Burners’ bodies. Ancient and identified, recorded, they have been handed down and taught by humans for thousands of years and derided by modern scientists as nonsense.

Kanji? :japan:

quote:


If the Spitalians could check one of these children’s body now, they’d find that feverish heat radiates into the organism, emanating from one focal point on the body axis. Its position and the symbol exactly correspond to one of the energy nodes described by the ancient people – a Chakra.

And now we know that hippies are up to no good! The mushroom tea, the unwashed clothing and hair that attracts bugs, the talks of Chakras! It all makes sense! It must have started in Tunguska! Cleanse and purge! :blam:

Actually, the book says that according to Chakra theory, all of the chakras need to be balanced for a person to be a person rather than some nudist bug beacon goon. However, in the Psychonauts, only one of those points is active, leading to them embodying the freakishness of min-maxing your char into a single Chakra. The book won’t develop this idea further for at least a hundred pages, maybe at all, but be prepared to be reading more about Earth Chakra as we move along!

THE FINAL BATTLE

I’ll just quote this in full. Tl;dr poo poo’s hosed.

quote:

Mother spore fields are bursting to the surface everywhere. They transform the land after their fashion. In their troughs nestle the Psychonauts, a seething mass of primordial, highly adapted creatures. Their number is growing, and wherever their domain intersects with Mankind’s, more Aberrant crawl from pregnant women’s wombs. They take control, reaching for the crown of creation.
Humankind stands at a crossroads. No less than its soul is at stake. The Eshaton was only the prelude. The final battle has begun.

Primordial and highly adapted?

Next time: Chapter 1 continues: the final battlers of the final battle

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




So if I successfully comprehended this, the plot is :siren:CORRUPTION:catdrugs:
Why so many words, Roadside picnic on a global scale is a simple concept.

DigitalRaven
Oct 9, 2012

When I kill you with a motor-car, you should have the common decency to stay dead, you horrid little object




Night10194 posted:

Assuming more Slaan would fix anything. I always got the sense the problems for the Lizards were A: They're biological expert systems operating on information that has since become very out of date, and was partial anyway, and B: Lord Mazdamundi is unhelpful. Very unhelpful. It really depends on the degree to which Slaan can actually adapt, like Skinks.

Was there ever a WFRP book covering Lizardmen/Lustria? If not, what's the best source for stuff on these biological dinosaur expert systems?

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018



DigitalRaven posted:

Was there ever a WFRP book covering Lizardmen/Lustria? If not, what's the best source for stuff on these biological dinosaur expert systems?

I don't believe so, but their sourcebooks for the minis game go into a lot of detail on what they're like, how they act and what happens when people come to visit them. (Either they leave with immense wealth by following the clear rules given to them, or they die.)

E: My favorite is the short story where a Skink takes an Imperial diplomat to meet a Slann, and translates for him, and then afterwards explains that he translated all the diplomatic talk into pleasantries about the Slann's appearance and wisdom because he wanted to keep the Slann from killing the diplomat for daring to assume that any Imperial diplomacy was worth even a moment of the time of such a great mind. The skinks find this hilarious.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.


DigitalRaven posted:

Was there ever a WFRP book covering Lizardmen/Lustria? If not, what's the best source for stuff on these biological dinosaur expert systems?

I wish there was, but one of the problems for 2e is that it was only published for like 3 years. The corebook started work in 2003, published in 2005, and then GW shuttered Black Industries in January 2008, so the line got shut down right as they were really going beyond the Empire.

Like I would've loved to see Lustria, Nehekara, etc all covered with the same kind of detail as Bretonnia, Kislev, and the Empire.

E: We also needed a Naggaroth, Ulthuan, and Dwarven Kingdoms book. Maybe an Ogre Kingdoms book, too. I mean, Ogres are a species of wandering, chaos-immune (mostly) mercenaries who enjoy traveling all over the world getting into fights and sampling exotic dishes, and who have a tradition of going 'Yeah, that guy. That guy's a badass. I'm gonna translate that foreign warrior's style into Ogre style.' They'd be great PCs.

Night10194 fucked around with this message at 15:01 on Jul 28, 2017

JcDent
May 13, 2013

Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!


I wonder if Cubicle 7 will be able to bring back the charm and/or imbue some charm into their RPGs. They're going to be doing a Sigmar RPG too, which is like... ugh. The book thread could probably point me to a good novel, but even while collecting Sigmarines I can't get excited about them. I think it's hard, but possible to RP a Space Marine. I don't think it's at all interesting to RP a Sigmarine.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




I know that GW has never been very good at running a business but is there a chance that the rights to WH2nd would be sold to some other company?

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009



Night10194 posted:

E: We also needed a Naggaroth, Ulthuan, and Dwarven Kingdoms book. Maybe an Ogre Kingdoms book, too. I mean, Ogres are a species of wandering, chaos-immune (mostly) mercenaries who enjoy traveling all over the world getting into fights and sampling exotic dishes, and who have a tradition of going 'Yeah, that guy. That guy's a badass. I'm gonna translate that foreign warrior's style into Ogre style.' They'd be great PCs.

Need a Nehekara book, too. Even without Tomb King PCs (although a Tomb Prince or Princess, a Liche Priest, a Necrotect, and a Tomb Guard sounds like a fine adventuring party), Nehekara would be a great area to visit on adventure - and even reasonably safe for living PCs!

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.


Warhammer Fantasy: Knights of the Grail

Bordeleaux: Wine, salt, sail, and a Duke whose virtues do not get the Grail

Bordeleaux, the least dry Duchy in all of Bretonnia! This is both because it has multiple good harbors among its cliffs and coasts, and also because it is extremely full of drink. Bordeleaux is the best wine country in all of the Old World, full stop, and the finest wines come out of the vineyards of this Duchy. The southeast of the duchy intersects the Forest of Chalon, but the parts in Bordeleaux are much less dangerous than in Bastonne and so you'll find woodsmen and settlements there. They also have a northern border with Mousillon, and occasionally have to tangle with vampires (despite them never drinking...wine), hordes of the undead, and awful swamp monsters coming down from the cursed Duchy. The massive supply of alcohol both brings wealth and a reputation for drunkeness to the dukedom, and the stereotype of Bordeleaux is of a perpetual party where both noble and peasant drink unmixed wine and fall out of windows all the time. This is obviously not true; they have to do the work to grow the grapes and work the wineries, and they still need to feed themselves. Furthermore, the many sailors along the coast are renowned for being surprisingly sober and professional. Despite the stereotype not quite matching the reality, many Adventurers from Bordeleaux are trying to get away from the constant drinking, and are disappointed when their partymates turn out to want to get hammered whenever they have enough time and money to afford it.

An interesting feature of Bordeleaux, besides all the wine, is the prevalence and power of the Cult of Manaan. One can find temples to the sea god all through the coastline, but more impressively the nobles pay him way more mind than they usually do for non-Lady gods. Manaan is not simply a peasant god in this duchy, and it's a common saying that she's the Lady of Lake, not the Sea. Because of all the sailing, nobles of Bordeleaux are as likely to send their sons out on long sea voyages to trade or explore in foreign shores for their Errantry Tour. This is still considered a big adventure that will prepare a boy for proper knighthood, and learning to work together and give orders on a ship as a lieutenant to an experienced captain is good training for a noble anyway. Many of the coastal nobles don't hold much land, making their sustenance entirely from trade and the sea, which is considered a little odd. Due to the wine and money, they get along well with their neighbors in Aquitaine and Bastonne, but they've always had a rivalry with L'Anguille over their commercial competition. Lacking a truly great port city, they've never been able to challenge them, so the rivalry is mostly only felt in Bordelaux.

Duke Alberic of Bordeleaux will be familiar to Total Warhams players, being one of their options for a Legendary Lord. I'm not entirely sure why he was, because while he's a renowned and competent noble, he's notable for never having found time to go look for the Grail. He has always felt his duty to his duchy is too strong to simply up and leave on a grand adventure, and he let his son (who could have been a competent regent while his father searched) go Questing instead. Alberic is renowned for his self discipline and high standards, and he expects these of all his knights, regularly dismissing any deemed corrupt or tyrannical. He's a hard worker who has always taken his position very seriously, and it's cost him his dream of grand adventure in the name of keeping his duchy running. He's getting desperate in his old age, though, and might be happy to hand the duchy off to a renowned PC regent if they could prove themselves as hard working and able as him...

The actual city of Bordeleaux is a challenger to L'Anguille in matters of commerce, population, and importance to the country as a whole. It isn't as suitable as a commercial port, but it still does plenty of business (especially as the duchy is home to valuable exports). It's exceptionally well defended, having some of the other cannons in Bretonnia (like L'Anguille), and renowned siege engineers who practice regularly to be precise shots, with great coverage. This is to discourage Norse and Dark Elves from getting any ideas about raiding such a rich city. It also houses the First Chapel, the very first Grail Chapel ever built. As a result, dukes of Bordeleaux have traditionally been Grail Knights, another thing needling at Duke Alberic. There's also the great Temple of Manaan, which isn't a building but rather an enormous ship permanently moored in the harbor. Somehow, the God protects it from storms, despite the holy temple being out in the harbor, and Grail Knights, Damsels, and Prophetesses are forbidden to set foot within.

There are two very odd places in Bordeleaux: The Silent Isle and the Turris Vigilans. The Silent Isle is a few miles off the coast, and used to be a noble fief, until everyone living there vanished without a trace about 100 years ago. Since then, it's become impossible to make noise while on the island. Adventurers who go there fall into two groups: Those who stay a couple hours, get spooked by the unnatural silence, and leave...and those who don't come back. The Turris Vigilans is a great lighthouse and temple to Verena, the Goddess of Knowledge and Justice, located on the border with Mousillon. The priests are said to be scrying and spying on Mousillon, looking for something very important that they won't tell anyone else about. They're visited from time to time by Prophetesses and the Fae Enchantress herself, for reasons unknown. The priests are also eager to advise adventurers to enter the cursed duchy and come back and tell them what they find. An adventure revolving around what the hell they're looking for seems like an obvious hook.

Next time: Ah, sweet Brionne, land of a thousand poets and also random plagues.

Night10194 fucked around with this message at 17:35 on Aug 4, 2017

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me



https://grimandperilous.com/warhammer-fantasy-roleplay-to-be-announced-may-27th/

Well a company I am not familiar with called Cubicle 7 is basically taking up WFRP and following the 2nd edition model.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.


Also, like, 3e is not a bad game. I prefer 2e because I'm more familiar with it and it's easier to play over a chat program in text, but 3e was not *bad*. Part of the problem is just that 3e's fluff had to go back to an earlier era (because of GW's demands on what was canon) that was all about how awesome and scary that Archaon guy was and how if Archaon is not on screen, other characters need to be asking 'Where's Archaon'?

FFG makes decent games and fluff, and they didn't, like, 'ruin' WHFRP or anything. It's mostly a matter of taste and mandates from above.

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018



Cubicle 7 is pretty okay. They did The One Ring, the Doctor Who RPG and the Laundry RPG. The mechanics are nothing shocking or amazing but they're competent.

wiegieman
Apr 22, 2010

Royalty is a continuous cutting motion




Nehekara is the kind of place where as long as you know all 549 forms of proper ancient Nehekaran etiquette you'll be fine, but if you only know 548 then you're gonna get executed when you insult the prince's mother's third cousin twice removed.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.


Warhammer Fantasy: Knights of the Grail

Brionne: Walt Disney's Bretonnia

Brionne is a living fairytale, even more than Aquitaine. There is nothing threatening in all of the duchy, as Carcassone stands between it and the dangerous mountains to the south, Quenelles is between it and the Loren in the east, and Aquitaine is between it and the haunted Forest of Chalon in the north. The port at Brionne (every duchy that has a city seems to name the city for the duchy) sits in forgiving seas, and the coast has sandy beaches that are perfect for glassblowers. The duchy can be a bit obsessed with being picturesque, as Lords sometimes tear down and rebuild entire villages around imagined ideals of what a perfect, happy peasant town should look like. Without asking the peasants, who keep dirtying the place up trying to make it livable. Brionnian fortifications look beautiful, but the little, delicate towers and disney-esque touches make them indefensible and impractical. The people of Brionne love poetry, music, and courtly love, albeit their ideal of courtly love leaves to a lot more extramarital affairs and generally ends in marriage or ribald rather than being properly chaste. Stories of young knights staying loyal to their liege despite loving his wife, going off on grail quest, and returning as heroes right as the old man dies of old age at the convenient climax are wildly popular. In the real world, this leads to older nobles with young and beautiful wives being very paranoid about someone trying to bring that perfect climax about in real life.

The love fever in Brionne is so strong that many of the Adventurers you'll meet from the country are running away from angry fathers and husbands, or are disguised young women who got sick of being constantly serenaded and wanted to escape all this Disney musical nonsense. The internal politics of the duchy are rife with feuds caused by these matters of the heart, and in Brionne, politics are more personal than anywhere else in the kingdom. Finding a knight who *isn't* going to covet your beautiful young wife is like finding a chest of diamonds. Rivalries are common between secret lovers and husbands, between would-be lovers and each other, between famous minstrel-knights over matters of gaining more fame, and between would-be, tone-deaf minstrel-knights and all good people of musical taste. Duke Theoderic of Brionne is a giant of a man, and a complete terror in battle as he cuts down beastmen and monsters with his signature massive greataxe. The second he steps off the field, though, he becomes a gentle and playful patron of the arts and a decent musician, himself. He is also said to be an enthusiastic adulterer, and many of the noblewomen of Brionne certainly hope that's true; you could do worse than being courted by the brave and gentle duke.

Of course, it's not all musical numbers and hijinks. Brionne is also home to inexplicable and dangerous plagues. Every year or so, some new disease no-one has ever heard of tears through some part of the population, inspiring sorrow and tribute ballads. Everyone assumes there has to be some underground cult of Nurgle that's causing this, but hanging the occasional cultist doesn't seem to put a stop to it.

Our example NPC here is Thiemar of Brionne, a renowned and talented minstrel, gaining a following for his tremendous compositions, lovely singing voice, and his good looks (though some consider him a little too pretty). He wanders the castles of Brionne, performing for nobles and claiming he is still in his errantry, while refusing to join a household as of yet. This is because Thiemar is a peasant. And also a woman. She has a naturally low voice for a woman that makes for an excellent young man's singing voice, and most Bretonnians simply assume she must be a man; a woman wouldn't be traveling and pretending to be a minstrel, that'd be crazy. Everyone knows disguised women always pretend to be knights, not singers! She originally had vague plans to learn about the nobles and pass information to the Herrimaults, but she's found she loves being a wandering entertainer. Still, the plight of the peasants is troubling, and she might make a good PC herself, or recruit PCs to help her with some scheme to make things better for people with the power of song.

Next: The Exact Opposite of Brionne, and Also Its Best Buddies.

Night10194 fucked around with this message at 17:36 on Aug 4, 2017

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.


Clapping Larry

Mors Rattus posted:

Cubicle 7 is pretty okay. They did The One Ring, the Doctor Who RPG and the Laundry RPG. The mechanics are nothing shocking or amazing but they're competent.

Also they handled Rocket Age, Kuro, and the English release of Qin. A goon did a lot of writing on their Doctor Who line.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me



Night10194 posted:

Also, like, 3e is not a bad game. I prefer 2e because I'm more familiar with it and it's easier to play over a chat program in text, but 3e was not *bad*. Part of the problem is just that 3e's fluff had to go back to an earlier era (because of GW's demands on what was canon) that was all about how awesome and scary that Archaon guy was and how if Archaon is not on screen, other characters need to be asking 'Where's Archaon'?

FFG makes decent games and fluff, and they didn't, like, 'ruin' WHFRP or anything. It's mostly a matter of taste and mandates from above.

I wish I could have convinced literally anyone i know to go into 3rd ed warhammer because the unique dice mechanics for resolutions and injuries and this and that and and... was cool. I spent way to much on that game but never played it.

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SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

Horned Rat-Sempai Noticed Me! :swoon:


Mors Rattus posted:

Cubicle 7 is pretty okay. They did The One Ring, the Doctor Who RPG and the Laundry RPG. The mechanics are nothing shocking or amazing but they're competent.

They also did Rocket Age, I believe, which I got to play last GenCon and thought it was pretty good.

e;fb

SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 16:38 on Jul 28, 2017

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