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Cassa
Jan 29, 2009
Stumbling through all this with glass shards and rubber bullets, it's pretty jarring to have teleporting dudes blasting laser guns suddenly around.

At least Pincushion finally got to do a thing again, it's been a while.

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Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer
"Coloseum of Carnage"

Zomborgon
Feb 19, 2014

I don't even want to see what happens if you gain CHIM outside of a pre-coded system.

quote:


Why the hell would one even bother to print this

Green Intern
Dec 29, 2008

Loon, Crazy and Laughable

Zomborgon posted:

Why the hell would one even bother to print this

They've printed (flawed) charts and tables for everything else, so why not pad it out a little bit more.

Loxbourne
Apr 6, 2011

Tomorrow, doom!
But now, tea.
We don't give it much attention, but AAH should really be mocked a lot more brutally for never noticing that it forgot to give all its monsters a hitpoint total.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.
Warhammer Fantasy: Realm of the Ice Queen

Fantasy Eastern Europe on the border of light and darkness

If you'll remember from Tome of Corruption, when you start to get far enough north, you start to get the fallout from the collapsed Gate of Heaven all over you. The dark things crawling in from that ancient, suppurating wound on reality get into a person's mind, regardless of who they'd normally be, and Chaos tries to seize control. Kislev is the furthest north you get before this starts to kick in in earnest. Thus, Kislev has been on the front lines of the wars with the northern hordes since the country first came together. Kislev has won and lost more wars with the Kurgan, Norse, and the Warriors of Chaos than any other nation in the Old World, and every time they've been knocked down and had their lands ravaged, they've rebuilt. Many would-be Chaos Incursions go unnoticed by the south, stopped by Kislevite soldiers in the north of their country. They also capture and deal with affected southerners who have heard the Call and begun to walk north to the Chaos Wastes, the Kislevites being one of the last chances to catch these lost souls before they're fully in the grip of the Dark Gods. Without Kislev, the Old World would be on fire even more than it already is. If parts of Kislev seem backwards (and only parts, the South of Kislev is every bit as developed as the Empire) it's because the long, harsh grasslands and tundra are also infested with raiders and the country's been burned to the ground and rebuilt every couple centuries.

They're also Fantasy Eastern Europe/Russia. All of it. At once. This means we're going to get dancing (and fighting) bears, winged hussars, ice witches, wise women of the woods (Kislevites believe only women can ever be trusted with arcane magic, and only men with divine), bear god, fancy hats and uniforms, a god with a literal Summon Forth Patriotic Fury spell, and all the music will be in minor key.

To its south and west lies the Empire's most forested regions. Ostland, Ostermark, and Kislev have occasionally squabbled over territory, and Kislevite and Imperial culture and language mix in those regions (Ostlanders are noted for plenty of Kislevite loan words and Ostermarkers can't get through their vampire-hunting day without vodka). Those squabbles haven't happened since Magnus the Pious, or at least, not to the same extent; the defeat of Kul resulted in something called the Eternal Alliance, a treaty saying that Kislev and the Empire would forever stick together whenever Chaos next came knocking. To the west is the Sea of Claws, which isn't very large; at its widest point Norscans only need to sail about 150 miles to reach Imperial shores there, and from eastern Norsca to Erengrad and the west coast of Kislev is a less-than-100-mile jaunt. Without a standing navy (Erengrad is their only major port, and it's Fantasy St. Petersburg) the Kislevites have to rely on local defenses against Norse sea raids. Beyond the northern border of the River Lynsk lies Troll Country, a wild and untamed land (which is, in fact, infested with trolls) where the Chaos infection starts to really kick in and the land starts to get worse. Very few Kislevites go beyond the river, except to scout and patrol against invasion. Southern Kislev is the fertile breadbasket of the country, and the location of its great cities and centers of arts and learning. To the east lie the massive World's Edge Mountains, once defended by the dwarfs, but now mostly infested with goblins. Somewhere in this forbidding mountain range lies Karak Vlag, ancient, hidden home of the Chaos Dwarfs.

In the north of Kislev, you run into the Oblast, a long, cold, bleak stretch of land with little in the way of landmarks. Wanderers have been known to get as lost in the Kislevite Oblast as a ship at open sea, and without some means of navigation it's easy to get turned around and even go mad from the constant emptiness. Kislev's few forested regions in the south are supposedly home to small bands of wood elves, and whenever the newest war has seemed to turn against them, the Kislevites find shadowy archers emerging from the wood to back them up. Somehow, the Wood Elves seem to have a great interest in Kislev surviving and triumphing, and seem to genuinely like the Kislevites. There's a possible plot hook for a game if ever I saw one. Without extensive forest in the north, and with no mountains in the way, there are no windbreaks; the winds blow strong in Kislev, both the winds of magic and the natural ones.

Much of the rest of Kislev is the steppe. Scrubland and grassland that doesn't freeze like the Oblast, the steppes of Kislev are still hard to farm. They usually serve as grazing ground for cattle and other livestock, instead. Fortified villages called Stanitsa form occasional breaks from the constant flat ground and empty grassland. Kyazak raiders, not necessarily of Chaos but definitely interested in doing violence and taking what they need to survive, trouble the people of the steppe and rustle cattle. The vast and empty steppe makes hunting these raider bands down a very difficult task, so instead mercenaries come north and the boyars deploy soldiers to defend the Stanitsa against them.

The climate of Kislev is not, in fact, cold all the drat time. Summer can get pretty warm, and when summer gets too warm and dry, the grasslands catch fire. In the northern steppe and oblast, though, winter is harsh. Snow blindness and snow madness can hit someone in the dark winter days out on the steppe. All of the snow also means that spring is muddier than an Imperial can imagine. The roads turn almost entirely to tar-like mud even as the melting snow and revived greenery lead people to send their cattle grazing and begin the process of bringing the steppe back to life after the harsh winter. If they aren't busy putting out wildfires, summer is the best time to trade and move throughout the country, since the roads harden back up and the temperature becomes mild and more pleasant. In autumn, the people prepare and hunker down for the winter as the old men of each villager direly warn this will be the hardest winter yet (something they do every year, it's tradition).

Next: The Cities and People.

Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

La morte non ha sesso

Hostile V posted:

Lucretia (#5048218)



Ilona Jocic (#???????)


Every time I see female NPCs in AAH, I think of that bit from Borat where he's just chanting "You will never get this, you will never get this!"

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
Something, something, Kislev would be a great place to do fantasy STALKER.

Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

La morte non ha sesso
Eh, that doesn't actually work w/r/t the themes of Stalker. The Old World in general is too chaotic and strife-ridden.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

And notice how despite being hell-prison rampage, all the women's makeup are on point in full on smoky eyes and ruby lips if their portraits are to go by.

But yeah Ilona being a literal neo-nazi and one of the good factions without any apologies is really inexcusable.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


With the level of attention paid to everything in AAH , I'm willing to believe that Ilona was supposed to be a bad in an earlier version and the portrait was not fixed.

Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

La morte non ha sesso

Robindaybird posted:

And notice how despite being hell-prison rampage, all the women's makeup are on point in full on smoky eyes and ruby lips if their portraits are to go by.

But yeah Ilona being a literal neo-nazi and one of the good factions without any apologies is really inexcusable.
AAH ultimately negates its own presence by being such a Zonelike mutable reality that the whole "prison" motif completely withers away besides a few superficial elements. What's to stop the prisoners from establishing Full Gay Space [Slutty Goth Babe] Communism?

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:

Robindaybird posted:

And notice how despite being hell-prison rampage, all the women's makeup are on point in full on smoky eyes and ruby lips if their portraits are to go by.

But yeah Ilona being a literal neo-nazi and one of the good factions without any apologies is really inexcusable.

And despite being beaten and tortured all to poo poo, her hair is immaculate and her corn-rows haven't been touched.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.
Warhammer Fantasy: Realm of the Ice Queen

The Capitol is a city also called Kislev

The actual Capitol of Kislev was only founded about 1000 years ago, when the Kislevites finally came together as Kislev, mostly because the very powerful and wealthy Gospodar tribe had more swords, better armor, and were ruled by badass ice witches known as the Khan Queens. It turns out having more money, more swords, more people, better farmland, and ice wizards are all really useful for finally unifying a country under your dominion. This also means that the idea of a unified Kislev is actually even younger than the idea of a unified Bretonnia; as a full state Kislev is the youngest of the three main human states fighting Chaos. Kislev itself is right on the border with the Empire, drawing its drinking water from the Urskoy river that also serves as border, and the two lands intermingle. Kislev itself has never fallen to an attack since its founding in 1524. It's been a near thing a few times, especially in 2302 against Kul, but Archaon bypassed the city entirely rather than try to fight it since he was behind schedule (which led to a Kislevite army hitting him in the back at Middenheim, Archaon wasn't a very good general). Kislev is the center of all Kislevite administration and law, with the massive complex of the Bohka Palaces, which house armies of clerks and officials as well as the Tsar (or Tsarina, Kislevites legitimately don't care which gender you are for inheritance) and their fellow high nobles.

Erengard is the wealthiest city in Kislev and the only good seaport. These two things are related. This used to be the capitol of the Ungol tribes, but the Gospodars defeated it in battle (again, super ice witches) during the unification of the country and took control. Erengard is where any sea-goods flow into or out of Kislev into the Sea of Claws, and is also impossible for the Norse to raid because it's the main cannon foundry for all of Kislev. The naval fortifications at Erengrad are essentially impregnable. The problem is that the Kislevites have no actual navy, only having a single seaport, and while Kislevite merchant ships are armed and can be pressed into service, they rely on other peoples' patrols to keep the sea lanes clear. You'll recall the Empire has a famously terrible navy, too. This is the only reason the Norse can get as much raiding done as they do. Erengard is a great center of industry and firearms, essentially being the Kislevite version of Nuln in the Empire, and the sea-port gives it a cosmopolitan flair. It was sacked by Chaos forces under Archaon but is already rebuilding itself nicely, with the boyars and officials claiming it's nothing but an excuse to build newer, grander, and even better buildings and make their city better than ever.

Praag is one of the few big 'successes' Chaos got to win and a symbol of the sort of wins Chaos would be better off accepting if it wants to be taken seriously. The furthest north city in all of Kislev, Praag has fallen over and over again, though it has always managed to rebuild. When it fell to Asuvar Kul, he swore he would make the city so poisoned that even Kislevites wouldn't try to rebuild it, and it's said that rather than rubble the ruined buildings became terrible profusions of errant flesh and madness. Still, the Kislevites razed the evil to the ground and rebuilt, but Praag has never been the same. Some portions of the city are still simply unsafe when the Winds blow strong, and stories of hauntings and strange happenings are everywhere. The people are regarded as paranoid and more than a little off, though they produce some of the greatest opera and poetry in all of Kislev. A gloomy city of artists and stubborn folk, it is also a rallying point for the various smaller Ungol tribes of the north. They come together to the walls of Praag for war, trade, or to periodically try to break free of Gospodar domination and refound their own country.

One great thing in this book? Later on, all three of these cities will get a full, detailed writeup full of adventure hooks, local characters, maps, history, etc. Praag, Kislev, and Erengard are detailed enough to be the setting for full campaigns, or at least the players' home bases during one.

Kislev is an essential buffer state for everyone else in the Old World. They stop most incursions before they become incursions, and even when one threatens to overwhelm them they can usually hold it long enough to call for help. They like to say they stand alone, as heroes, fighting against Chaos so that other lands may lead softer and happier lives. This isn't *entirely* true, but it's true enough until things get bad. The Empire has generally gotten its poo poo together enough to send help when Kislev is in real trouble. The elves of Ulthuan showed up en-masse for the first time in history to help out in 2302. Dwarfs have often found themselves manning the walls of Kislevite cities in times of great emergency, in return for Kislevites helping to clear the High Pass in the World's Edge Mountains. Dwarfs and Kislevites actually get along great: They like each other's stubbornness, they respect each other's singing, they enjoy each other's alcohol, and they both think the other is a madman for living underground (Who could ever live in a mountain, or especially under it!? It's just unnatural!) or for living in the steppe (How do they deal with all that open sky!?). Even the isolationist wood elves seem to recognize they need Kislev as a backstop, and as mentioned before, show up from the few forests (no-one is sure how they get there, or how they know to be there at the times when they show up) to help their 'allies'. Meanwhile, most people suspect the Kislevites actually just enjoy getting to grumble and boast about how they stand alone most of the time, knowing that when things get serious pretty much every sane group in the Old World and beyond wants the Kislevites to win against Chaos and will help them to do so.

The people of Kislev are divided by ethnic, tribal, and regional differences, though they all bow to a unified Kislev these days (when there isn't another rebellion, anyway). Kislev used to a several nations, formed of tribal peoples who fought one another for centuries over herding land and good farmland. Even now, the divide between the urbanized south and the rural north makes the country almost two countries, and ethnic identity (especially as Ungol or Gospodar) is still important to the locals on a level beyond simple provincial character in Bretonnia and the Empire. The Gospodar people are actually a fairly new arrival to the lands, showing up in 1500 IC as part of a very large migration of people away from the Eastern Steppe (and its Chaos corruption/Kurgan) and into Kislev. This disrupted the existing Ungol tribes, and sparked a century of on and off war as the Gospodar displaced them from what is now Southern Kislev. The Ungol began to build up the city of Praag in response after losing their capital at Novgrad (Now Erengrad), but were eventually forced to accept Gospodar political dominion. The two cultures have blended over time, and absorbed the other, smaller tribes and nations that used to inhabit the area, but Praag and Kislev (the city) still remain poles of very different spheres of influence.

Kisleverian, the local language, is considered very difficult for other Old Worlders to learn, which is sort of funny to me since they describe the difficulty coming from it having multiple gendered forms of words, personality variations on words, and animate vs. inanimate distinctions. At the very least the gendering thing is very much a part of German, and Reikspiel is just German. I also don't think the Kislevites actually use Cyrillic; I think their language is intentionally entirely roman alphabet transliteration, which makes sense since there'd be no St. Cyril since there's no Greek in Warhams.

Next: A bit on religion, a lot on pants.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Kurieg posted:

And despite being beaten and tortured all to poo poo, her hair is immaculate and her corn-rows haven't been touched.

Shows both a certain idea of what women should be and a full lack of understanding them, otherwise: water's wet, no surprises here.

Loxbourne
Apr 6, 2011

Tomorrow, doom!
But now, tea.

Night10194 posted:

Archaon bypassed the city entirely rather than try to fight it since he was behind schedule

Those who lived through the Storm of Chaos debacle may remember that this was one of the funnier moments of the whole hilarious disasterpiece. One of Archaon's sub-hordes was supposed to sack Kislev as a pre-invasion speedbump, but so few Chaos victories were recorded (and so many other players filed wins) that he didn't even make it past the first marker on the campaign map. GW petulantly just teleported his entire army into the Empire to try and get the campaign to work the way it was supposed to, and this "bypass" is the fluff justification.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.
We only ever hear of 3 canon Everchosen, though there have been others besides them, and only Archaon really comes off as a loser. Yes, Kul didn't make it into the Empire, but he didn't make it into the Empire because he was intentionally trying to break the back of Kislev so it wouldn't come up behind him, because he thought the Empire was still stuck in perpetual civil war like it'd been for centuries. And what he did to Praag is a sign of how thorough he intended to be. Morkar the Uniter had an actual, understandable reason for wanting revenge on Sigmar and for being able to get together people who wanted revenge on Sigmar. He had a reason to be obsessed with defeating the young Empire.

I kinda wonder what some of the other various Everchosen who didn't get very far were like.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Night10194 posted:

I kinda wonder what some of the other various Everchosen who didn't get very far were like.

One thought occurs to me is that maybe there was a dwarf Everchosen and she succeeded at breaking the northern holds but failed to get anywhere further south. Or an elf Everchosen whose efforts to destroy Athel Loren or Ulthuan met with disaster.

Loxbourne
Apr 6, 2011

Tomorrow, doom!
But now, tea.
A sea-based Everchosen who launched a great armada with hordes of sea monsters would be fun to play around with.

Kaza42
Oct 3, 2013

Blood and Souls and all that
For centuries, a Halfling Everchosen - not corrupted by chaos, just convinced - had been trying to spread Chaos in the Moot. Turns out, trying to corrupt the one group in the Empire immune to corruption is slow going, and he eventually exploded after eating a special Nurgle Meat Pie.

OutOfPrint
Apr 9, 2009

Fun Shoe

Zomborgon posted:

Why the hell would one even bother to print this

quote:



I was wondering why we needed to know that the clones are Made Men within the Psychos. It's completely irrelevant!

quote:

But this is G-Unit. And there are now five Pincushions. Lucretia is psychic’d to death with extreme prejudice, repeatedly exposed to Random Psychic Powers until one of them immolates her with psychic power and another one grabs her and throws her up into the air so she dies on impact like a shooting star. Everyone hustles over to Ilona, has a moment of concern over the swastika on her forehead and then Doc reluctantly heals her and stuffs her into the party conga line.

This is some straight up Caves of Qud poo poo, though.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Since we talk about WFRP a lot, did anyone in thread review or know of someone who reviewed ZWEIHÄNDER GRIM & PERILOUS RPG?

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.
Warhammer Fantasy: Realm of the Ice Queen

Bears, Fire, and pants

Kislevite religion varies. Southern Kislev worships their traditional gods but incorporates a lot of the wider Old World Pantheon, particularly Shallya. The chief god of the Gospodars, the Bear Lord Ursun, is considered chief of the Kislevite pantheons. Northern regions tend to hold more strongly to the uniquely Kislevite gods, and tend to worship similar to the Kurgan, just without the Chaos; they see the world as inherently spiritual and stick to a more shamanistic tradition rather than building large, permanent temples and houses of worship. All of Kislev is unusual in having a much stronger focus on spirits than other religions in the Old World. There are all sorts of spirits and messengers from the spirit world, some helpful, some mischievous, some terrifying. Household spirits are commonplace in Kislevite worship and are treated as messengers from the realm of the Gods, something that might sound a little demonic, but when we get to their full religion chapter, many of their traditions are actually quite powerful at keeping Chaos at bay or preventing mutation. Kislevites actually get two totally unique styles of magic (Ice Magic is fairly close to normal Arcane stuff in mechanics but not fluff, and the Wise Woman spirit shamanism is genuinely unique) and both relate to their belief in land and household spirits.

Clothes are very, very important in Kislevite material culture. Clothing is one of the most acceptable and prominent forms of conspicuous consumption all across the nation, in both Gospodar and Ungol lands. A man or woman's dress, and ability to decorate their dress, are the first and most important way of advertising wealth, taste, and standing. Also, Kislevites spend a lot of time outdoors in the cold wind, and so their clothes need to be comfortable and functional. Despite their reputation as a dour people, they dress in colorful styles and love to import fabrics, furs, and exotic designs from all over the world. Boots instead of shoes are often worn as a sign of status, and comfortable riding boots are always in style even if one never rides a horse; the original tribes that make up Kislev all prized horsemen and the original definition of a noble was someone wealthy enough to own horses. Yes, they love the furry hats with the pull-down earflaps; having worn that kind of hat for my winter hat for years now, I can see why (they're nice hats). Jewelry is designed both to show off wealth and accentuate one's clothes, and also to protect against the various curses and Chaos afflictions that can blow down from the north. All of this leads to a people who are colorful and vibrant to look at, even as they grumble endlessly about the weather and steadfastly refuse to believe there's such a thing as a major key in music.

Kvas is weird. I've had Kvas. Kvas is a real drink, and it's definitely made from rye like they talk about in the book. It's basically like drinkable bread, with very, very low alcohol content. The book treats it as an extremely strong drink and the oil of the nation, and I legitimately can't tell if that's some kind of hilarious error they missed or an intentional joke written on the assumption that most readers won't have drunk actual kvass.

Kislev has been ruled by the Gospodars since the Gospodars united Kislev in the days of the original Khan-Queens. The arcane wizards of Kislev, at least the Ice Witches, have always been associated with the nobility, though not every Tsarina has been an Ice Witch and there have been plenty of male Tsars. Right now, the current Tsarina is Katarin. Katarin is a very different woman from her father Boris; Boris died five years ago trying to lead an army into Troll Country to disrupt Chaos forces, and he was a fiery, boisterous, charismatic man. Katarin is charismatic as well, but she's known for being aloof, sharp-witted, and self-controlled in all things. She is also the most powerful Ice Witch since the foundation of the unified country, having marked her ascension to the throne by building an entire new wing of her palace overnight out of magical ice. Katarin prefers to do the business of state here, in her creation, both because she's most comfortable in the cold and because it makes an excellent reminder of her raw power to impress ambassadors and boyars. Her father led from the front, always energetic and always personally involved; she prefers to stay where she can keep a clearer picture of the wider political and military situation, informed by her many trusted agents and generals.

Below her are her Boyars, who are defined as nobles powerful enough to be responsible for an army. Boyars can male or female, the first-born of a house inheriting the rents and taxes of a wide stretch of territory and the responsibility for forming an army out of the locals whenever there's an invasion. Kislevites are eager to answer the call to arms, because they've been invaded by Chaos so often that they just refer to the raiding season as the 'spring driving'. Young men and women (Though more usually men, Kislev makes fewer distinctions about this than the Empire, and *certainly* fewer than Bretonnia) answer the call to fight for their Boyar, and thus for their Tsarina (or, depending on the Boyar and the wider political situation, against their neighboring Boyar. Or against their Tsarina.). Below the Boyars are the Hetmen, men and women who rule over the individual villages and stanitsas. The title of Hetman is never inherited. A man or woman who has distinguished themselves in the village is chosen by popular acclaim and made leader, expected to organize local defenses, handle local disputes, direct public works, and lead the village's people if the Boyar calls them to arms. Many Boyars can trace their family line back to a Hetman who distinguished themselves.

Next: The History of Kislev.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

I think I would finally buy Total War Warhammer if they made Kislev their own playable faction with heroes and unique units. I just love so much of it.

unseenlibrarian
Jun 4, 2012

There's only one thing in the mountains that leaves a track like this. The creature of legend that roams the Timberline. My people named him Sasquatch. You call him... Bigfoot.

Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

Since we talk about WFRP a lot, did anyone in thread review or know of someone who reviewed ZWEIHÄNDER GRIM & PERILOUS RPG?

The only thing I know about Zweihander is that the Zweihander guy studied game marketing from the Kaidan Pathfinder guy.

Kaza42
Oct 3, 2013

Blood and Souls and all that

marshmallow creep posted:

I think I would finally buy Total War Warhammer if they made Kislev their own playable faction with heroes and unique units. I just love so much of it.

It's okay, mods have you covered! I present to you: Bear Cavalry!




(Mod tools cannot create new models, only re-texture existing ones and combine some parts. These are reskinned demigryph knights)

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:

Kaza42 posted:

(Mod tools cannot create new models, only re-texture existing ones and combine some parts. These are reskinned demigryph knights)

I was going to say, those are some loving terrifying bears. And not for the good reasons.

Hostile V
May 30, 2013

Solving all of life's problems through enhanced casting of Occam's Razor. Reward yourself with an imaginary chalice.

Hostile V fucked around with this message at 18:29 on Aug 21, 2017

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.
It doesn't come up in this book, but the only Bear Cavalry Kislev had was Tsar Boris, Katarin's dad. He got lost on a hunt and was starving to death when he found a polar bear. They wrestled for awhile, then wolves attacked them, and they both fought the wolves, then ate the wolves together. Then he rode back to his people on his new best buddy, the bear. From then on he and the bear fought all their battles together, and when he died, the bear survived and ran off north to avenge him.

I like to imagine that bear is still out there. Every now and then some Kurgan or Norse are sitting around the fire and then they get jumped by a crazy avenger bear.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


An immortal avenging polar bear should be cannon in every campaign.

Deptfordx
Dec 23, 2013

Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

Since we talk about WFRP a lot, did anyone in thread review or know of someone who reviewed ZWEIHÄNDER GRIM & PERILOUS RPG?

Been multiple 'sell me on' and discussion threads on Rpgnet.

https://forum.rpg.net/tags.php?tag=zweihander

I've got my own copy, which I've skimmed, but not deep-dived.

From that it's basically a re-skinned WFRP 2nd edition, not one-to-one, but broadly similar.

I'm not doing much with myself, as it's so close to WFRP2 I don't see any point in moving over to it.

If you don't own WFRP2 however, it's a cheap alternative to buying all the seperate PDF's for it as Zweihander is, at over 600 pages, effectively all the WFRP2 core books in one for $27. Plus it goes on sale all the time.

Edit: Just checked on drivethru, it is in fact on sale for $13 at this very moment.

http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/210516/ZWEIHANDER-Grim--Perilous-RPG?src=hottest

Deptfordx fucked around with this message at 19:30 on Aug 21, 2017

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.
That Sell Me/Unsell Me thread does a pretty good job of telling me to stick with WHFRP2e.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


I like the concept but prefer a more abstract system, is there hope that 4th ed would simplify things?

Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

La morte non ha sesso
I thought it was a retrocline of WFRP 1st edition, but maybe that was just the free version.

And yeah the principal writer kept catching bans from RPGnet and other forums for spamming and generally being fuckin' weird.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.
Oh, and one nice part of Kislev: Katarin being ruler is treated as completely normal. Kislevites are used to men and women both in high positions, though they generally think of priesthood as a male profession and wizarding as something you can only trust to women. Katarin is a perfectly normal, legitimate ruler who is treated with the normal respect and decorum a Tsar usually is, both at home and abroad. She came to power by normal, legitimate means (popular Tsar died with only one heir and so she inherited it clearly and without much fuss). It's a nice touch.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
Whenver I hear Bear Cavalry I think of Breland from Eberron, where they ride Bears that were magically enhanced by house Vadalis to be tractable, loyal to their rider, and roughly two feet taller at the shoulder than Dire Bears.

The Kings Wood is also populated with all sorts of fun House Vadalis science experiments because the king is very adamant that only he is allowed to hunt there and the shadow death tigers help keep it that way.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Night10194 posted:

Oh, and one nice part of Kislev: Katarin being ruler is treated as completely normal. Kislevites are used to men and women both in high positions, though they generally think of priesthood as a male profession and wizarding as something you can only trust to women. Katarin is a perfectly normal, legitimate ruler who is treated with the normal respect and decorum a Tsar usually is, both at home and abroad. She came to power by normal, legitimate means (popular Tsar died with only one heir and so she inherited it clearly and without much fuss). It's a nice touch.

So fantasy Catherine the Great who's also Elsa. Sounds fun.

Terrible Opinions
Oct 17, 2013



Night10194 posted:

It doesn't come up in this book, but the only Bear Cavalry Kislev had was Tsar Boris, Katarin's dad. He got lost on a hunt and was starving to death when he found a polar bear. They wrestled for awhile, then wolves attacked them, and they both fought the wolves, then ate the wolves together. Then he rode back to his people on his new best buddy, the bear. From then on he and the bear fought all their battles together, and when he died, the bear survived and ran off north to avenge him.

I like to imagine that bear is still out there. Every now and then some Kurgan or Norse are sitting around the fire and then they get jumped by a crazy avenger bear.
This actually isn't true. There aren't any bear cavalry units besides Boris for Kislev in Warhammer proper because the Kislev range was never finished and only made for a very short period of time. The Kislev army for Warmaster was properly completed and included the option for any hero or lord to take a bear mount. Additionally the Warmaster allowed Kislev to take free roaming groups of bear for use as heavy infantry.

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Cythereal posted:

So fantasy Catherine the Great who's also Elsa. Sounds fun.

Except not

Well



Insane.


E:(was she the insane one i dont have my russian tsars down correctly)

Rigged Death Trap fucked around with this message at 21:13 on Aug 21, 2017

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Terrible Opinions
Oct 17, 2013



With Russian Tsars there was no insane one

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