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General Tofu
Nov 20, 2014

by Lowtax
I used to do SEO writing. It actually got me from a homeless shelter to a regular apartment. But some of the articles I wrote were for clients that sounded less than classy. When I was making enough per day to let me build up a decent bit of cash and move into a real home, I did turn down a few offers because they looked sort of ... tasteless. But now and then, I did take those offers, on the basis of, "why not?" ... A lot of times, they don't really read your article, it seems. They just check it for plagiarism and plug it into wherever they needed fairly relevant content. Well, after I submitted this piece for "Strawberry Girls in Bangalore' ... I was sure it'd be rejected. It wasn't, and I got paid for it. I got rated 1/5 stars -- "i don't like it"

Now, two years later, I find it did get put to use. Gee, sorry you didn't like it, fella.

Except now it seems to have bounced around from Indian prostitution site to other Indian prostitution site, and been altered a bit along the way. Mostly random words changed via a thesaurus? This was the end result. I've spotted variations on numerous "escort" sites, but this version of it has to be the best I've seen.

http://www.purevolume.com/portbutto...+looking+girls.

Greatest Indian Datingagency in Bangalore posted:

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With this in brain, the training course of motion is crystal clear. Bang a whore in Bangalore today. Existence is also limited not to.
Bangalore escorts services, bangalore escort

Original Version I wrote:
http://pastebin.com/eVYFvGYH

This was supposed to be a joke article I intended to get rejected, and just wrote for laughs. I guess someone did not get the joke? Several people?

I love, and at the same time am glad I no longer do, SEO. :aaa:

General Tofu fucked around with this message at 08:30 on Jan 6, 2016

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oh no blimp issue
Feb 23, 2011

how often do you browse escort sites op?

Radio Paranoia
Jun 27, 2010

It is now safe to turn off your computer.
you make a compelling argument

General Tofu
Nov 20, 2014

by Lowtax

Awia posted:

how often do you browse escort sites op?

You wouldn't check in on your kids from time to time, even the ones you're not particularly proud of?

Maximum Leader
Dec 5, 2014
I wish I didn't read op

Stereotype
Apr 24, 2010

College Slice
The world is full of amoral illiterate scumbags and they did not understand your educated veiled satire-irony. I would laugh but the world is terrible and doomed.

black pete
Mar 24, 2015

DON'T MIND ME!

I'LL MAKE JOKES ABOUT RAPE.
Do think I'm going to read all that?

A Pinball Wizard
Mar 23, 2005

I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands

College Slice
source you're quotes op

Satellit3
Oct 21, 2008

Maximum Leader posted:

I wish I didn't read op

General Tofu
Nov 20, 2014

by Lowtax

A Pinball Wizard posted:

source you're quotes op
i did

also, shnif :(

exe cummings
Jan 22, 2005

I'll take a plump type, op

Sweevo
Nov 8, 2007

i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster

increase your web traffic by putting this on every page you make

<meta name="keywords" content="spice girls, britney spears, superbowl, world series, formula 1, bill clinton, windows 98, olympics, disney, titanic, star wars, star trek, buffy the vampire slayer">

General Tofu
Nov 20, 2014

by Lowtax

Sweevo posted:

increase your web traffic by putting this on every page you make

<meta name="keywords" content="spice girls, britney spears, superbowl, world series, formula 1, bill clinton, windows 98, olympics, disney, titanic, star wars, star trek, buffy the vampire slayer">

Doesn't Google specifically ignore Meta tags now? Which is probably why they are resorting to buying what looks like content, but isn't?
I really don't keep up on this stuff. I liked doing the real articles.

power botton
Nov 2, 2011

did genius nee rap genius get super hosed for a week or two for doing that with justin bieber in every page?

Migishu
Oct 22, 2005

I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful

Grimey Drawer
So, you're saying they were doing the needful?

power botton
Nov 2, 2011

flew too close to the needful and got burned imo

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Maximum Leader posted:

I wish I didn't read op

im glad i did

thanks op :tipshat:

Sweevo
Nov 8, 2007

i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster

General Tofu posted:

Doesn't Google specifically ignore Meta tags now? Which is probably why they are resorting to buying what looks like content, but isn't?
I really don't keep up on this stuff. I liked doing the real articles.

i don't think anyone has paid attention to meta tags for at least a decade

mlmp

pram
Jun 10, 2001
the only meta tag google reads is the description iirc

pram
Jun 10, 2001
seo is pretty much a crap shoot. people used to buy 'class c ip' hosting because google only parsed reference links from different networks. but that doesnt work. neither does 'friendly' urls or really anything. its all keywords, links in, and site speed/mobile friendliness now

pram
Jun 10, 2001
which is btw the reason you see those hacked wordpress blogs and forum spam bots with thousands of random nonsensical links and keywords

BooLoo
Oct 18, 2010

SLAM TIME
i think you're a little bit proud of this and it says some stuff about you

BANME.sh
Jan 23, 2008

What is this??
Are you some kind of hypnotist??
Grimey Drawer

pram posted:

seo is pretty much a crap shoot. people used to buy 'class c ip' hosting because google only parsed reference links from different networks. but that doesnt work. neither does 'friendly' urls or really anything. its all keywords, links in, and site speed/mobile friendliness now

seo for organic results (regular search results) may be crap shoot but if you have a business, there's a lot you can do that can basically guarantees you'll climb the list of local businesses (the little pack at the top of Google with the map) when you search for something like "city name plumbers". that's assuming you are not already in an already heavily competitive industry like real estate. spoiler: I work at an seo company. I don't actually do the grunt work of seo but I write software that automates a lot of things for it.

BANME.sh fucked around with this message at 20:14 on Jan 7, 2016

Sweevo
Nov 8, 2007

i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster

how much of it is "give google a sack of cash"?

BANME.sh
Jan 23, 2008

What is this??
Are you some kind of hypnotist??
Grimey Drawer
none actually. most of the legitimate things we do are actually very simple that anyone can do, but require a lot of tedious and manual work (hence the software side of it). but people are lazy so they'd rather pay us a lot of money to do it for them.

qirex
Feb 15, 2001

one of my least favorite projects when I worked at hotwire was basically designing a link farm for travel searches like "san diego hotel deals" that the users would then click into actual search results

oh hey it's still there

qirex fucked around with this message at 22:26 on Jan 7, 2016

THE BIG DOG DADDY
Oct 16, 2013

Rasheed was, with Aliases, the top 7 PvPers in Bone Krew.


No one talks about this.
i dont know if ive ever experienced complete and utter satisfaction

Clockwerk
Apr 6, 2005


ive never been to bangalore either

graph
Nov 22, 2006

aaag peanuts

BooLoo posted:

i think you're a little bit proud of this and it says some stuff about you

the boolooscope is finely tuned

GoldenTeeth
Jun 3, 2013

I'm the pensive looking one on the left. That's me. I'm doing serious business in there. Look at me go.
I thought the second to last paragraph was particularly butchered beyond readability but upon inspection seems pretty close to your original submission

:cheers:

TerminalRaptor
Nov 6, 2012

Mostly Harmless

GoldenTeeth posted:

I thought the second to last paragraph was particularly butchered beyond readability but upon inspection seems pretty close to your original submission

:cheers:

agreed. It was fun to see the source to see how much got through.

THE BIG DOG DADDY
Oct 16, 2013

Rasheed was, with Aliases, the top 7 PvPers in Bone Krew.


No one talks about this.

Clockwerk posted:

ive never been to bangalore either

...roadtrip?!

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat

YA BOY ETHAN COUCH posted:

i dont know if ive ever experienced complete and utter satisfaction
what about comprehensive and utter satisfaction

BONGHITZ
Jan 1, 1970

seo rap

Mr. Apollo
Nov 8, 2000

qirex posted:

one of my least favorite projects when I worked at hotwire was basically designing a link farm for travel searches like "san diego hotel deals" that the users would then click into actual search results

oh hey it's still there

Find a budget San Diego hotel room in advance or book at the last minute, and then have some fun. :)

flakeloaf
Feb 26, 2003

Still better than android clock


the metre of this thread's title is pleasing to the ear

PleasureKevin
Jan 2, 2011

can't spammers just write this themselves? not to say you're a bad writer

PleasureKevin
Jan 2, 2011

"hmm i'm spending so much time writing and so little time pressing cmd+v into comment sections. maybe i should pay someone to do the writing and leave the more gratifying part to myself."

BONGHITZ
Jan 1, 1970

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnSJBpB_OKQ

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craisins
May 17, 2004

A DRIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

PleasureKevin posted:

"hmm i'm spending so much time writing and so little time pressing cmd+v into comment sections. maybe i should pay someone to do the writing and leave the more gratifying part to myself."

im people sure people just poo poo http post requests to anydomain.ext/XMLRPC.php or whatever the hell wordpress uses.

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