|
I wasn't a fan of hers. I felt she could have been "more" onstage, and I felt her performances were singing and not performing. I don't think I was totally shocked she didn't make it, though Sara Sturm not making it surprised me only because of her and Lee being BFFs, I felt that would keep getting dragged on for airtime.
|
#
?
Feb 8, 2016 18:33
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 13:41 |
|
|
Oooh its the top 24. The stage is set to look exactly like the nightclub from the first season of Angel. This used to be a gathering place for men in button up primary colored silk shirts and women in metal-toned mini dresses. And now that world is lost to us. Sad. Nice of them to then stay thematic with the lovechild of Cordelia and Drusilla in Stephanie. gently caress these songs are short. gently caress we are now in the cringey contestant-replies-to-every-criticism phase. Jlow gives fair, even feedack to a very pretty girl. Remarkable. Such is the transformative power of Casper Smart's love I suppose. MackBour opens with a big glass of Chris Allen from concentrate. So much sidemouth singin' he might have cankers. Kid is my early lock for top 4. Ok he just hit a 0-60 uglyface-highnote. I'm calling for someone to do a cheek swab and see if this isnt chris with botox and a wig. Smart contestant to crib it like that, but do the hordes of votey hausfraus even watch this show anymore? Crowd loses it. I revise my lock to a top 3. Homeschooled? Crunchy as granite gravel? Giant harp? Dressed like Prince in 1992? Its a real loving shame Michfest shut down because this girl could have made bank headlining for a few decades in a decade's time. Performance leaves me cold but the song itself is a caricature at this point. Jenna Renae (Voted most likely to have contestant/pornstar name-collision and be renamed a few times mid-season like Megan Corkrey/Joy was) Gulping the vocal and a terrible ending. Terrible. Really terrible. Judges love it. Nobody wants to get judge-boos at the last season. Harry risks a comment as scathing as a fabric softener sheet and draws ire anyway. Never change Idol. James 8th, needs to gently caress off quickly. Wasn't he's an undeserved impromptu-boyfriend-auditioner that got through for the failure of others, not success of his own? Much more Zappacosta in him than the SRV he wants us to think he commands. Kitschy and terrible. And with his commitment to strat-n-snarl genre he missed a chance to sing "Layin' Pipe" for the last of the Idol generation. Several shames in one performance. Go home. Keith savages him on the way out. Sonika, working hard to not get out from under her group night villain edit with the intro segment humblebrag. Is she sourly-inflecting these notes or is that just my lack of a Sonika-like golden ear? I don't like it either way. Gianna Isabella: Ok I spent most of her performance trying to find out how badly she name-collided with porn-Gianna on google, but on a re-listen she is over using that hard high end tone. Unpleasant. No amount of fake-sassy stage walking could cover up for it. Emily Brooke: Opens very badly. Very, very badly. Holy poo poo this is the worst. Even her family looked aghast. If she goes through on this then some crime of malfeasance occurred to get her there. Judges sell it as an off night. A chef serving up something medium well is an off night, that was food poisoning. Avalon's Coogi is my jam. Uptempo but lyrically comprehensible, which is rare, . Didn't come close to breaking a sweat. Possibly sandbagging hard. Should get through easily and deserves it. Jordan Sasser: Gets to be the hundredth wearer of a leather members only jacket with padded shoulders to appear on idol. That jacket has probably accrued a better pension plan than I've got. Reminded me a great deal of that German contestant that appeared on World Idol. Creepy the things that live for decades in the back of one's brain. Get out Alexander Klaws, get out! Thomas Stringfellow: Is the living embodiment of what every white kid pictured in a upmarket children's clothing store ad on the subway grows up to be. Yelping his way to the top 12. That song suffers from a 90 second condensation but he still sucked, sorry. And someone please find his missing puffer vest and clutched dandelion. La'porsha getting the pimp spot twice in a row, possibly for the second time. Nice to see her change up the parting on her hair. Performance was a little cruise ship revue. A little very cruise ship. Keith still stands in ovation. He's probably done a lot of cruising. And she gets thoroughly overpraised. La'porsha though at zero risk of not going through. And guesting tomorrow night, Widdle Lauren Alaina! My how the years go by. Get you one last residual check girl.
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2016 12:09
|
|
|
AMERICAN IDOL XV - TOP 24 LIVE! Oh wait it's 12 of them. And they're performing one song solo and one as a duet with a former Idol contestant? What the gently caress is even going on? Why do I start taking notes right at the moment where things are this convoluted? Jesus christ I am not even ready for this. gently caress it! We forge on, and on, and we carry on. loving welcome to all Idoloonies past present and uhhh... not so much future because you've entirely missed the boat at this point. I have not pre-gamed this show at all and am in an internet argument on Facebook with a Monsanto detractor that is stealing all of my attention but I know my true calling -- as SHUPS 4 DETH, unofficial Idol recapper of the SA Forums and all around helpful poster. Folks, I am drinking and this poo poo's on Hulu so let's get this done before I pass out. Or the next morning/afternoon. Whatever. This stage makes the Detroit venue from last season look like the loving Nokiadome. Okay so never mind we're bringing back Fantasia, Ruben, Taylor Johnson (  did he mean Hicks?), Scotty McCreary and some other people I missed tomorrow night for duets. Tonight it's all solos. I don't know if I want to bother with recapping duets eps but I'll probably do it. Whatever. Holy poo poo this is such a bad idea that's going to kill any momentum they could even hope for.Okay so they're cutting 5 Idols per week so we're going to have a top 14? What the hell. This is all going to be such an afterthought that I can't imagine anyone breaking through who isn't already deigned to win. First up, Stephany Negrete, whom I do not remember much at all. Stephany Negrete, Jessie J's "Mama Knows Best" (.5/10): Cookie-cutter Idol-hot-chick-speak-sing garbage. No discernable talent beyond looking emasciated in leather pants. Not a note in tune. Horrible. J.Lo and Harry destroy her by pretending she has a future in this competition. Mackenzie Bourg, A Great Big World's "Say Something" (1.5/10): Wispy and noncomittal, with enough out-of-tune improv to make the swell of the bassline destroy him entirely. Over in a hot second, mercifully. If they're only getting 30 seconds each they're really not capitalizing on the time properly. The producers love him, but he's poo poo. He looks haggard like a boxer; the profession, not the dog breed. Jeneve Mitchell, Sarah McLauhglin's "Angel" (1/10): Overblown and pompous, but most importantly tempo-free and tuneless. Far too focused on playing the harp to bother with singing much at all. Harry nails that she should have played literally any other instrument in the world besides maybe the pan flute. Jenna Renae, [someone]'s "My Church" (-4/10): Flat as poo poo and feels like a hollow caricature of what singing this song ought to be. I don't know this song and I'm positive that I'm dead-on with that assessment. Garbage. James VIII, Kanye West's "Love Lockdown" (-6/10): Jesus loving christ where did they find these jabronis. Favorite moment was when the lead guitar played what he should have been singing and exposed his pitch. Tone-deaf beyond comprehension and free of understanding and tempering down of dynamics. Plus side? The judges nailed it. Minus side - the crowd disagrees. Sonika Vaid, Taylor Swift's "Safe and Sound" (5.5/10): Great dress, immediately swallowed whole by the subtleties of a delicate Swift single. She's doing the best of everyone so far but that isn't saying much. Definitely the most potential so far despite a bad song choice. I've liked her up to this point and that hasn't changed. Go 'head Eyebrows McIndia! Seacrest is now competing with Carson Daly for Dumbest Hair which frankly feels below his paygrade. Gianna Isabella, (apparently) Annie Lennox's "I Put a Spell On You" (7.5/10): I can only fault the rushed enunciation and obvious stage mom-ing, at least until the final moments when it completely went off the rails. Mortal lock for the top 7 or whatever's next. A bit cookie-cutter, as Harry pointed out. Emily Brooke, Cassadee Pope's "Invincible" (-8/10): She's singing an original song from a winner of The Voice and we're officially through the looking glass. She's completely out of her range on the verse and shits the bed on the chorus but her high voice is... yeah it's bad too. At least she knows it. They edit out all crowd response to the judges except for... "Thanks, Randy. Actually thanks, Ellen." MAH WIFE - in response to Keith's 'critique'. I love her so much. Avalon Young, Justin Bieber's "Love Yourself" (5.25/10): Consistently a quarter step off but she's fully committed to her 30 seconds. gently caress-stupid song choice and ultimately forgettable. Jordan Sasser, (apparently) Celine Dion's "All By Myself" (-9/10): Jesus. Christ. The judges loving destroy him and it's amazing. He'll make it through and that is horrible. Thomas Stringfellow, Radiohead's "Creep" (-3/10): Well that's just about the worst song choice possible. I wish ah was spatial too. I also know when I'm off key. Producer favoritism creeps in with the judges. loving horrible. LaPorsha Rense, Tina Turner's "Proud Mary" (7/10): To say that she did her perfunctory best at a Tina impression is damning with faint praise but callling her the best of the night is the same. I don't klnow i'm druink This season suuuuuucks
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2016 13:15
|
|
|
Just finished Wednesday night and am rushing through Thursday night, didn't realize they are only doing half of the idols this week - thought it was twelve each night. I feel this week is set up to allow LaPorsha and Mackenzie to blow through. Gianna Isabella sucks. God she sucks. She's officially worse than Harp Country Girl and Super Idol Fan. Waiting to see who they kick off.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2016 03:25
|
|
|
I want to know why Gianna and Jeneve are still in this nonsense. Next week is going to be the better of the two weeks.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2016 03:59
|
|
|
Betting on Avalon did pay off. She still is my definite fave out of this lot. It's like the bullshit of the show somehow hits the pause button while she's on. She's being herself on the stage, and doesn't look like she's taking it all that seriously, which is refreshing. I literally couldn't watch the hot, humiliating garbage what was put on the screen on Thursday. What the gently caress is this poo poo. Merely read Slezak's review of the night to find out which of these lot got sent home. Bring on the mono guy and the rest next week, I'm expecting that show to be stronger on average.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2016 20:42
|
|
|
AMERICAN IDOL XV - FIRST 12 ALL-STAR DUETS AND 5 IDOLS GO HOME Whatever let's get this over with. Harry is on positivity patrol. Keith is drunk as gently caress. So is Jennifer. So am I. Regardless, my grades are for the Idols and not the all-stars when possible. Emily Brooke ft/Wauwen Awaina, “Flat on the Floor” (-2/10) The rehearsals sound really rough. Lauren looks great though. She still has the same vocal limitations that denied her the crown despite the odds and is taking the lead to poor results. Emily Brooke is a total fraud being exposed in the worst way by getting repeatedly dunked on by Lauren loving Alaina. No way does she survive this ep. Thomas Stringfellow ft/Old Nick Fradiani, “Man in the Mirror” (-3/10) The rehearsals sound really rough. Nick sounds horrible. Thomas sounds worse. And then Nick sounds worse. And then they sound horrible together. Karaoke of the lowest order. No way does he survive this ep. These "duets" are proving to be misguided showcases for the "All-Stars" thus far. I don't give a gently caress either way. Stephany Negrete ft/Ruben Studdard, “Superstar” (1/10) They really, really want Stephany to be a star. She isn't. The rehearsals sound really rough. Their voices don't blend at all, just head voice versus diminishing head voice and it's over in a heartbeat. Zero chemistry. No way does she survive this ep. Sonika Vaid ft/Caleb Johnson, “Skyfall” (8/10) The rehearsals sound really rough. Caleb gets in her way something fierce. Like it's legimitately unfair the way he shits on her. Sonika should and must make it through despite everything. The judges poo poo on Caleb and it's entirely deserved. Jenna Renae ft/Scotty McCreery, “See You Tonight” (4/10) The rehearsals sound... pretty good? Huh. She's really charming during the performance but is also consistently flat. Also her makeup is horrid. She'll probably make it to the next round and I'm okay with that. La’Porsha Renae ft/FantaSHHia, “Summertime” (9/10) First of all, really?! Could they underhand this softball any lighter? With that said the rehearsals sound amazing. La'Porsha's fashion is way off-point, which makes it the opposite of her vocal. She gets a bit shouty with it, but how can you not when Fantasia's right there? loving brilliant and far too short. The song, not La'Porsha. MacKenzie Bourg ft/Lauren Alaina, “I Hope You Dance” (-5/10) Lauren completely outshone him here. If he makes it through he's coasting off her shine. He utterly disappeared here. He has enough producer support that he'll probably make it through. Harry is just enigmatic enough to betray his intent, which is to say that he agrees with me. Gianna Isabella ft/Nick Fradiani, “Beautiful Life” (-7/10) Why on earth would you saddle anyone with this terrible song? This smacks of producer intervention something fierce. Nick is making GBS threads the bed and Gianna is following his lead. Holy poo poo this is horrible. She's done after this and it's unfair as gently caress. She's all over the place and who wouldn't be? With that said, terrible. And this is where I tapped out for the night. Here we are, the next Actually you know what? With that said I'm going to pontificate for a moment on the widespread online backlash against the judges/producers making the cuts leading to the top 14. My thoughts are this: Are you really surprised? The season is going to run its course in a much smaller window than any other season before it, it's already cancelled, and viewership is in the toilet. Why on earth would a show that no one is watching and is halfway out the door spend the money necessary to open up voting? Considering that the early rounds are one or two favorites dominating with the remainders fighting for scraps makes them irrelevant by design. The judges/producers making these cuts makes sense in every regard and any complaint about it is naive at best. Okay? Okay. Thanks. Alright let's get back to the poo poo. Avalon Young ft/Ruben Studdard, “Flying Without Wings” (7/10) The rehearsals are weird. I genuinely like Avalon a lot but vocally this is a massive mismatch. Their harmonies are tight but Ruben (and the sound mix) are blowing her off the stage a bit. She brings it home at the end though, which should count for something. Welcome to the top 14, Avalon. The fast forward function on Hulu sucks all of the rear end. James VIII ft/Caleb Johnson, “Gimme Shelter” (-3/10) Sure, why not poo poo on the best duet from S13? Where are you, Jena Irene? I miss you. Anyway, rehearsals sound rough. They sound like they're high as gently caress. James sounds like absolute dogshit but he's got serial belter Caleb and three other backup singers to compensate. Caleb is in poor voice as well. The MORification of this Stones classic isn't helping anyone. Correction: This is a Caleb performance and James is his boring backup. Go away James. Jeneve Rose Mitchell ft/Scotty McCreery, “Gone” (-9.5/10) Perhaps the most awkward and uncomfortable-to-watch performance I can remember in the history of this show. Jeneve basically gives up in the middle and I don't blame her a bit. She's completely out of her depth and Scotty all but abandons her and shits the bed with or without her. Keith calling it "bizarre" was an understatement. Her rodeo clown aesthetic suited this perfectly. Cringe-inducing at every turn. Jordan Sasser ft/Fantasia, “I Believe” (2/10) I wish this was the "I Believe" from The Book of Mormon. Jordan would be a perfect candidate for that level of enthusiastic denial. I love Fantasia but Idol coronation songs suck with maybe two exceptions and we've had like 4 of them tonight. Jordan can't keep up with her and is swallowed up in the sound mix beneath Fantasia's holleration. Plus he sounds completely inauthentic in this lane and he's forcing it so hard that someone should check his pants for errant feces. Everything I liked about this was Fantasia's doing. Jordan was a big nothing here. ELIMINATED Jordan Sasser - Yup Stephany - Mmmhm James VIII - Correct Emily - And take those lovely sheets home with you Jenna - I can think of at least 3 people remaining who deserve it more than her, but fair enough CONTENDERS La'Porsha - Though she's being insanely protected Sonika - Currently my pick for this season, certainly of this group Avalon - She'll never win but I'll keep rooting for her MIDDLE OF THE PACK Gianna - I guess I'm the only one on earth that likes her. I'm good with that GONE NEXT ROUND Thomas - Who am I kidding, this poorly lubricated quirkpocalypse is making the finale MacKenzie - I don't understand what anyone likes about this guy Jeneve - At least it's hilarious to watch her sink deeper and deeper This was dire. Next week should be better if only by default. With that said, I have zero confidence that next week will be better. I don't even know what to say anymore. 
|
|
#
?
Feb 13, 2016 22:42
|
|
|
Dalton is going to make finals. Teeny bopper girls love that former boy band/rocker look (hell, I'm in love with him). Dalton, LaPorsha, and Trent are my top three. Curious to see how next week goes, as I feel it's a stronger group. And Gianna Sucks. She literally looks and acts like a twelve year old onstage. If her mom wasn't the world famous Brenda K Starr- she would never have made the auditions.
|
|
#
?
Feb 14, 2016 04:17
|
|
|
Anya posted:And Gianna Sucks. She literally looks and acts like a twelve year old onstage. If her mom wasn't the world famous Brenda K Starr- she would never have made the auditions. She's Idol XV's Sue Sue Heck from The Middle and I will never not like that about her. Also calling Brenda K Starr "world famous" is overstating things more than a bit.
|
|
#
?
Feb 14, 2016 11:24
|
|
|
I literally didn't realize Brenda K Starr was even that much of a thing, let alone JLo's "BFF"
|
|
#
?
Feb 14, 2016 14:43
|
|
|
i just realized that I've never made a Scott Porchetta joke and that's a missed opportunity imo
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2016 10:04
|
|
|
Roight. 12 more hasty solos putting on questionable song choices. Is there a Jimmy Iovene-type this season? Someone to force all the boys to perform Billy Joel songs in 2016 and pout when it inevitably flops? Shelbie Z: If she can make it through to the audience voting rounds 8 weeks from now I think she'll do big things as the dance-mom fanbase audience insert. She looks 44 up there. Someone check her ID. Sheble's head wobble seems to be her go-to singin' move. Song itself is so bad I cant tell if the performance was good or not. Notes seem to be hit. Who cares. Go home. Manny Torres: Might be wearing a crown royal bag re-sewn into a shirt. Lots of frathouse karaoke college-boy dance move like a young Anoop Desai. The song itself? Not a flop I guess. Lots of people aiming only for base hits tonight. Which is probably smart. Kory: Looks like a gas station murderer. Is trying out some stage-talking thing to have personality I guess? Its awful. Dont tell me mid-song that you like your own singing. Just knife me in the ribs behind pump #4 and smash my brains out with a squeegee. Song was 20 seconds of awful. Smart move with that base hit Dance Mom. Watching this show in 8 mins by skipping judges commentary and contestant intros. The way god intended. Amelia: Flat notes galore. Amelia's mom's seems cool with a toque and side braids. poo poo I'm probably the same age as she is. I should have spent my 20's raising a karaoke TV contestant. I'd put old EW.com Slezak and Kirstin Baldwin Idoloonies eps on instead of Young Einstein DVDs. Probably not make it past stadium auditions, but still. I dont know how much Amelia has left in the tank creatively. I was not impressed. Jenn Blosil: Putting on a squeak-vocal clinic out there. Hopefully that twink from week 1 is listening. Not my cup of tea but undeniably very good. Probably going to be the best of the night. CJ Johnson: His lovely tattoos look as GTA:SA as his namesake's. That is dedication. Very mundane singer. Go home. Nobody in the crowd wants to touch his hands. Good call crowd. Lee Sean: Ok I guess. Another base hit connects. See you next week. Mono Boy, now Hat Boy,. A bit heavy on the goat-voice effect pedal there Trent. Pull up. Good performance otherwise. Still not quite made amends for getting the precedent-breaking free walk through group nights. Tristan: Should be doing "Black Velvet" with that Canadian tuxedo and dead-on Alannah Myles hair and makeup stylings. That's right I read you like a book 19e Inc. stylist team. Clearly this is the girl the show wants to win. Probably the reason why voting is weeks away so they an give La'Porsha enough spotlight to snuff her out and draw hate-ratings for Tristan's coronation. Oh wait Tris is out of breath. Still, take your base. Adam Lasher: Oh poo poo. A harp guitar. Take that, off grid cellist/upright harp girl, you've been out instru-quirked! 19e stylist time having a giggle with those gold hi-tops. I like this bassline a lot more than I like Adam. He probably just peaked right there. going to be a bitch to pack up that harp guitar for air freight back home to Nashville having just brought it in, oh no wait he's a local. Silver linings, Adam. Dalton: Reel Yell? Please don't twee up and highschool musical this song Dalt. Oh well to late, this might have been something for a second there. That was 9 seconds!? What the gently caress was that? Oh a pre-punched ticket to next week. I'm calling bullshit, no, I'm calling DioGuardi on that. Fix! Olivia Rox: Ah the old 3-strum stage-move switcheroo. How I've missed you. Bad song choice I think. Bleah. shadow puppet of a fucked around with this message at 15:34 on Feb 18, 2016 |
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2016 15:28
|
|
|
I actually watched the whole thing Shelbie: meh Manny: very underwhelming, not a lot of charisma he used to have Kory: actually better than I expected Amelia: sorry, bye JBlo: what the gently caress CJ: glad to see some competent people on the stage, even if he wasn't as good as he could be Lee Sean: bye Trent: okay but underwhelming for him Tristan: so what? Adam: boring, bye Dalton:  That's what I'm talking about. Olivia: pretty good, certainly exceeded expectations Come to think of it, Dalton hasn't sang anything yet that I didn't like. David Cook formula? Yes please.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2016 18:44
|
|
|
Haven't watched Wednesday night yet, checking in after the Dalton Spray Tan Experience just went on. Have to say that tonight I was mildly impressed with Tristan for once. This was definitely a better duet grouping than last week.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2016 03:32
|
|
|
Straightened hair Hayley is so pretty.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2016 11:03
|
|
|
AMERICAN IDOL XV - THE OTHER 12 IDIOTS SING Just... whatever. I don't even want to watch this. I'm just drunk enough to muster the courage to finish this ep of Chicago PD and slog through this garbage. gently caress it, yes? Yes, gently caress it. This week is getting way better duet partners. J.Lo's drunk. Shelbie Z, "Work Hard, Play Harder" (3/10) Has a 3-note range. Struts like a rooster and shows zero dynamic beyond karaoke country. Song choice is safe as gently caress and she's not putting any real work in. Consistently flat and not enunciating. Boring. The judges nail it. Go home, Shelbie. Manny Torres, "Adeventure of a Lifetime" (2/10) I want to go into depth about how boring and lovely this was but if you listened to it you already know. Nothing of substance whatsoever. Welcome to the top 14, producer favorite! Whenever it's windy our internet fucks up. It's windy as gently caress. Fun fact: we have cable internet so why wind fucks our poo poo up is beyond me. Also my next day off only exists because it's a leap year. I am so over this whole thing that it's not even funny. I digress. Kory Wheeler, "Let It Go" (2.5/10) Obvious producer favorite from the intimate camera angles. I'm pretty sure I've contracted mono from those closeups. He's vamping so much that it almost distracts from the fact that it was the most boring 30 seconds I've seen this season. Wi-Fi took a poo poo, giving up. Back to this space tomorrow. Amelia Eisenhauer, "Wake Me Up" (3/10) Why on earth is she singing this song? The pacing is all over the place until the kick drum corrects her and her pitch goes to poo poo. She hits a few good runs in the back end but this was mostly a hot mess. At least there aren't any negative scores yet, right? Jenn Blosil, "Sorry" (-8.5/10) Whoops. So whisper-quiet that I have to turn up the volume. Indecipherable lyrics and dropped phrases left and right. It's a creative re-imagining of a current-ish song but the vocals are so lovely that it doesn't mean much. CJ Johnson, "I'll Be" (2/10) gently caress this song. gently caress it to the ends of the earth. Out of tune and sung straight as can be with no flavor or groove, yet he looks like he's straining to do everything as hard as possible. Anyone who liked this just likes the song. He didn't poo poo the bed but he didn't register any interest either. Lee Jean, "Runaway" (6/10) That guitar isn't plugged in. Weird song choice but he did well enough with it. He would have done a lot better with something that doesn't have a overstuffed mouthful of lyrics every second. Still, he deserves to move on. Trent Harmon, "What Are You Listening To?" (5/10) I don't remember him having this overaffected accent. He's reedy and all head-voice, but he's mostly in tune. This song is really obnoxious, compounding matters. I can't really land on a grade because this was mostly competent but I hated it. Tristan McIntosh, "Good Girl" (5.5/10) Her stage presence feels forced and is frankly confusing to take in. Actually I feel that way about the vocal too. There's no way this is the kind of artist she wants to be, and as such she sounds like someone auditioning for a movie role as an Idol contestant. It's good, but so inauthentic. Adam Lasher, "Black and Gold" (-6/10) Who? This dude is old as gently caress and has zero charisma. His eyes seem to be locked on a monitor that has his lyrics on it. This is, once again, a horrible song choice in every regard. This was a performance that, when it happens during karaoke at your local Buffalo Wild Wings, you'd take a bathroom break. Crowd doesn't give a hard fart about him even when Harry asks them to. Later gator. Dalton Rapattoni, "Rebel Yell" (.5/10) Cloud has poor song choice skills. Even if you kill it, it's not a vocal showcase in the least. So hey why not turn it into... whatever this is? Fallout Boy cover? With all of the gimmicks happening around him, you could be forgiven for not noticing that he has virtually no vocal range. The girls are all in love with him so he's safe but honestly that was terrible. He's got presence, I'll give him that. Olivia Rox, "Confident" (-7/10) A current song choice? A dumbass gimmick name? Hot drat. Overbaked and out of key from the jump. She has to hit one correct note at some point, right? It's funny because this song was the first time I really believed Demi Lovato could sing and I love it. I hated this. All of it. And no, she never did hit a note. She's straight up delusional about her talent level and the producers are enabling her. "And the show starts NOW." - Keith Urban, just after the last singer finishes I hate everything.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2016 21:12
|
|
|
Watched the duets on Youtube a bit. Jordin Sparks (who, surprisingly, isn't 15 anymore) and Trent were basically making out on the stage, it was great.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2016 21:32
|
|
|
I'm not recapping another duets ep. Hell I may not even watch it. ELIMINATED Adam Lasher - duh Shelbie Z - yup Kory Wheeler - dry yourself off at home kid Amelia Eisenhauer - guess Jeneve took the "long-haired ginger who plays strings" spot, and that's just sad CJ Johnson - correct and good on them CONTENDERS eh MIDDLE OF THE PACK Lee Jean - he's got potential? maybe? Olivia Rox - if that was good enough to advance then she's not going anywhere. including the finale Jenn Blosil - definitely getting a "one last chance" after failing miserably this week Dalton Rapattoni - how far can his looks take him before people figure out he's a fraud? (hint: rhymes with Pokia Creatre) Trent Harmon - I don't get why we need both him and Thomas Stringfellow beyond Ed Sheeran being a successful current artist GONE NEXT ROUND Manny Torres - as pigdog said, his once-beaming charisma has vanished Tristan McIntosh - they have to figure out what to do with her quickly or she's a goner This was, on average, worse than last week which I didn't think was possible. This doesn't bode well for the rest of the season. Later y'all
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2016 21:47
|
|
|
Is this the point where sane people stop watching and then return for the final couple of episodes? How many weeks does this go on? Last time I've watched American Idol was probably around season 5-6 so I don't exactly recall if there could be anything interesting left. So far I've been surprisingly entertained, but I guess that's mostly because all the judges etc. have been new to me, and the auditions and hollywood stuff is always more interesting than the later parts. At this point, guys like Dalton might as well take a dump on the stage and he would still be a lock for next rounds.
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2016 12:46
|
|
|
Bolivar posted:How many weeks does this go on? Luckily its a compressed season, the whole thing is wrapped up on April 7th with only 7 episodes of singing and 1 coronation ep left to air.
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2016 13:08
|
|
|
shadow puppet of a posted:Luckily its a compressed season, the whole thing is wrapped up on April 7th with only 7 episodes of singing and 1 coronation ep left to air. Ah okey good, that sounds doable 
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2016 13:13
|
|
|
Conrad_Birdie posted:Hey I haven't watched any of this season yet and I probably won't but I know the dude with the baby, Jordan Sasser, got through. I knew him a little while ago, we were good friends, until, and I'm guessing they probably didn't get into this on the episode, his anti-LGBTQ views just got very overwhelming and hateful! Wow, that's disgusting
|
|
#
?
Feb 24, 2016 00:30
|
|
|
shadow puppet of a posted:Watching a bunch of this all at once. Audtions are boring. Oh my GOD, you are judgemental. Read your post again and remember that these are actual human beings, not autotune robots. People say that competition shows are dehumanizing and now I get why.
|
|
#
?
Feb 24, 2016 00:38
|
|
|
juniperjones posted:Oh my GOD, you are judgemental. Read your post again and remember that these are actual human beings, not autotune robots. People say that competition shows are dehumanizing and now I get why. Me being a bit too self-amused with trying to cut up singers that could outsing me with a severed larynx surely then is not exactly beyond the pale for this site then, no? Regardless, best to put me on ignore now. It gets no better from here on out.
|
|
#
?
Feb 24, 2016 01:15
|
|
|
juniperjones posted:Oh my GOD, you are judgemental. Read your post again and remember that these are actual human beings, not autotune robots. People say that competition shows are dehumanizing and now I get why. I know it's a troll and all, but that's what they signed up for. Particularly in the past several seasons. The show does not give the contestants any respect, so is it surprising that neither do the viewers? In a the nutshell is that is what went wrong with the show. It ceased being about the contestants and respecting them. When the show started, with very little hoopla, cardboard sets in conference rooms and it was just some black guy, a has-been singer and an English twat judging them. The show itself had nothing, it was low key, and felt honest. The judges weren't huge celebrities, they were just people who were experienced in the business to give that experienced perspective. It was all about the contestants. The gist of the show was that you, anybody, could get a fair shot at becoming a famous, respected, a superstar. People could identify with the contestants. Somewhere along the line it became about the ratings, more and more about the judges, the music sales dropped in the whole industry anyhow, and the contestants ceased to be important for the show. At some point the producers thought people were sitting down and tune to the channel to see J-Lo or Mariah Carey or Scott loving Borchetta, and made the actual contestants a sideshow. Of course the show had been all about Simon for a while, but he was actually pretty low key and seemed to enable the contestants rather than impose a plan on them. These days the show doesn't care about the contestants, doesn't care about the audience, is blatantly biased with edits and sound mix fuckery. So who cares.
|
|
#
?
Feb 24, 2016 20:33
|
|
|
 BREAKING NEWS This week is getting incredibly convoluted. - The judges/producers are choosing a Top 4 who will advance directly to Thursday's live Top 10 show and as such will not perform on tonight's show - The remaining 10 idols will be put up for voting and of those 10 the public will vote through 6 idols who will perform on Thursday's live show - It's all over spoiler sites but Slezak is silent. Spoilers for the 4 advanced to Thursday's Top 10 are below and are half obvious, half inexplicable Dalton Rapattoni - obvi Olivia Rox - what Trent Harmon - ughh La’Porsha Renae - obvi - Perhaps most annoying of all is that the ten singers shown tonight are reprising songs they've already done on the show. This is pants-on-head stupid especially considering this season is so short already. We should be pushing them to see what else they can do, not giving them another chance to not suck - Anya's early prediction for the finale is rapidly turning into a mortal lock Anyway i'm recapping last Thursday's show right now because what good is a post without a custom SHUPS Shameful Doublepost?
|
|
#
?
Feb 24, 2016 21:32
|
|
|
AMERICAN IDOL XV - SECOND 12 ALL-STAR DUETS AND 5 IDOLS GO HOME Ugh whatever As with last week, I'm only grading the current contestants, but I will judge the gently caress out of the All-Stars. Amelia Eisenhauer (ft/Kellie Pickler), “Suds in the Bucket” (7.75/10) Amelia's lower register faltered at times but this was otherwise excellent. Like legitimately good. Their harmonies are beautiful and Amelia's fully keyed into Kellie's ever-electric presence. She's gone now? What a shame, especially considering Jeneve isn't. Kory Wheeler (ft/Haley Reinhart), “Bennie and the Jets” (5.5/10) Of course they saddle Haley with the biggest jobbers. Rehearsals are hilarious. Wow wow WOW Haley has improved so much. Kory's way out of his depth here but he's plugging away competently while Haley straight tears up the stage. Kory didn't get in her way but he barely stood out beyond his flop sweat. Lee Jean (ft/Chris Daughtry), “Home” (7/10) Can Daughtry coach this season? Because he just made Lee Jean look legit. I knew this kid had potential! Daughtry's so loving good here, but given that it's probably the 4,000th time he's performed this song he'd better have his poo poo down pat. Welcome to the Contenders, Lee Jean. They are clowning last week's duets so hard that it's downright embarrassing. I would not have expected this after (last) Wednesday. I love David Cook. His win over Archuleta is high among the most satisfying finale moments in Idol history. It's also great that "Idol History" is a fair term to use at this point (not that it ever stopped me before). Jesus christ am I getting nostalgic? CJ Johnson (ft/David Cook), “The World I Know” (4/10) David Koechner-from-the-80s gets perfect advice from David Cook who immediately notices that he has zero sense of dynamics. Have the vocal coaches given up at this point or something? CJ's pitch is wobbly and he's already trying too hard on account of having to show restraint. David can't help but school him but does his level best to put CJ over. CJ didn't fall on his face but he never had a shot of winning. The judges made the right call. Harry is drunk as gently caress and it's great. Manny Torres (ft/Jordin Sparks), “No Air” (2.5/10) Auditions sound great but are awkward as gently caress. Jordan botches her pacing straight out the gate. Manny's dying trying to keep up with Jordin who sounds loving perfect. You can tell Jordin's put off by him but she's doing her best to stay above it. Manny can barely breathe over the sound of his erection. This was pretty bad. Jenn Blosil (ft/Constantine Maroulis), “My Funny Valentine” (9/10) Why did they not pair Haley with her? She has quirky poo poo all over YouTube; she could have brought out the best of J.Blo without question. Constantine's a total pro and he seems like he gets what she's going for. Oh my god this is so loving good. I've got nothing. Welcome back from the brink, J.Blo! Thanks for wrecking my grading curve! Tristan McIntosh (ft/Kellie Pickler), “Best Days of Your Life” (0/10) I'm starting to think that maybe - just maybe - it's Tristan that's so cold and calculating in constructing her image. It sure seems that way during rehearsals. Tristan starts at the tippy-top of her voice. Kellie's low register has never been her strong suit, but Tristan's honking and whiffing notes left and right. Then Pickler shows her how it's done and the contrast is startling. Tristan is completely unnatural, and Harry calls it out in a constructive way. Olivia Rox (ft/David Cook), “Light On” (7.5/10) Rehearsals sound really rough. David definitely brought out the best in her, but she was still dropping notes and overshot on her pitch at times, but mostly this was quite impressive. Keith's drunk and designing t-shirts, and my grade curve got wrecked again. If everyone else could just suck from here on out that would be super helpful, thanks. Adam Lasher (ft/Haley Reinhart), “Can’t Help Falling in Love” (-4.5/10) Ugh this is so lovely for Haley. Rehearsals sound terrible. Lasher is loving awful. He's making her sound off. Thanks for wasting Haley on this jerk, show! Dalton Rapattoni (ft/Daughtry) “Higher Ground” (-8/10) Of course they pair these two. The musical arrangement is way too jangly and overdone. Daughtry is protecting the gently caress out of Dalton and when he's forced to sing alone he sounds timid and noncommittal. The final spoken and abbreviated note is hilariously typical of Dalton. This was extremely not good and eh before we judge him let's distract everyone with Daughtry's platinum record for minutes and minutes. HARRY CALLS HIM OUT. The crowd reaction is really obviously edited. That is, before we get a dance-off from Ryan. What in the world is going on here? Oh right, the producers are going to everything in their power to distract from the dearth of talent in their golden boy. Jennifer calling him a "dark horse" is the most disingenous thing she may have ever said on Idol. IT'S STILL loving GOING. THERE ARE TWO SINGERS LEFT PLEASE MOVE ON SHOW. I swear this segment was 20 minutes long. Trent Harmon (ft/Jordin Sparks), “To Love Somebody” (6/10) Jordin's just too much of a presence on the stage without even trying that it makes Trent look like he's struggling a lot more than he is. Or not. His face looks crazed, though his voice sounds pretty good and it's a good blend on those sweet-rear end harmonies. If nothing else he's finally differentiated himself away from the other dudes this year. These Thursday shows are way too long. They easily could have compressed this into an hour without sacrificing much of anything to the editing bay, especially considering it was pre-taped. Shelbie Z (ft/Constantine Maroulis), “Bohemian Rhapsody” (7.75/10) Odd and self-indulgent song choice from Constantine here. Constantine's making a hot mess of himself up there and Shelbie's just sort of there doing her best to keep up. She actually gets pretty good on the amp-up in the bridge all the way through to the end. This performance would have changed my mind about her being fodder. Huh - imagine that: A contestant gets pushed in an uncomfortable direction and it brings out another side of them that helps us appreciate them more! How novel! So of course the judges poo poo all over her. Shelbie was never going to win but that judging was 100% Grade A Idol Producer Bullshit. I'm not going to rewrite my results post but it would look different had I watched this first. At least I care again. Shelbie and Amelia were loving robbed and Dalton is the worst kind of fraud, maybe even worse than Qaasim last season. See you sometime in the next 24 hours for the top whatever the gently caress is going on show.
|
|
#
?
Feb 24, 2016 22:29
|
|
|
Time to judge some human beings! Show opens with HatMonoBoy getting his second unprecedented free pass. La'Porsha's massive hair and zebra-leopard mumu are the greatest things going. Ugh it really is song rehashes. Manny is samey. Probably will get through based on being a guy. Brenda K Starr's Daugher is very shopping mall foodcourt. Very nasal. Right now Gene Simmons is furious that he chose to push his undertalented daughter on X-Factor USA and not Idol. Tee Stringsfel: Body composition Is probably 4% bangs by volume. If BKS's scion was foodcourt this was a guy working the the back of a New York Fries singing while re loading russets into the bulk peeler. Tristan: Taking a Dolph Lundgren in Rocky-like scientific approach by spreading country seeds now to grow a voting base later once the girl that might possibly have typhus gets voted off or carried out. Avalon: Not the best but hopefully through based on self-insert voting via large amounts of coolness. This shaven Scott Borschtta, now "Scotty B", looks like all three grown up sons from the Brady Bunch at the same time. Jenn Blosil: Hopefully sent home for eyebrow fuckery. I'm done with her shtick. Lee: Flops on the chorus. Time to find out how big the BGWG vote is. Probably, rightfully, going home. Sonika: I didn't like it, too stuck in and dirge-y. JLO got a goosie facial though, which is gross. Typuhs: Too much fun to not go through. Hopefully Monoboy hasn't locked her out of the quirky oddball slot. MackBourg: Probably will will suffer a database error to his vote totals so the show can protect Dalton Rappatoni and his deliberate white canvas shoes.
|
|
#
?
Feb 25, 2016 17:11
|
|
|
Every time I think they couldn't possibly gently caress up the show even more, they come up with something new. I can't even.
|
|
#
?
Feb 25, 2016 23:23
|
|
|
LaPorsha Olivia, Trent, Dalton MacKenzie, Lee Sonvia Tristan, Gianna Avalon That's my current ranking. Would have traded Jen Blosil for Gianna - but glad to see Jeneve go. Interesting to see how people have visually changed with increased use of the stylists.
|
|
#
?
Feb 26, 2016 03:58
|
|
|
AMERICAN IDOL XV - WILDCARD So as explained before this is a repeat ep with extremely convoluted premise, I'm wasted and don't care. I would compare the first time these people sang these songs, but gently caress it. Also giving zero effort just like the producers. Manny Torres,"Master Blaster" (-8/10) Horrific. Someone really has to gently caress up for him to advance. Gianna Isabella, "I Put a Spell On You" (4/10) Idol paint-by-numbers, and so boring. Thomas Stringfellow, "Story of my Life" (2/10) Better but also so calculated that it's borderline criminal. Still not good. Tristan McIntosh, "What Hurts the Most" (0.5/10) False. Utterly false. Avalon Young, "Yo" (2/10) Really bad. I love her but this was terrible. Jenn Blosil, "True Colors" (1/10) Running at full speed towards absolutely nothing. Worried about her prospects and that sucks. Lee Jean, "Make It Rain" (3/10) Has it on lock until the chours, then falls apart. Not good. Sonika Vaid, "I Surrender" (4/10) On another level until the chorus. Shows great potential but needs fundamentals something fierce. Jeneve Rose Mitchell, "Ring of Fire" (-8/10) Horrific. "Take her out of this show!" - Harry Connick Jr MacKenzie Bourg, "Roses" (2.5/10) Could not have sounded less natural on a song he wrote himself. uhhhh okay g;nighrt
|
|
#
?
Feb 26, 2016 11:48
|
|
|
Olivia: I'm so out of touch with reality that I thought for a moment Ol' Rox was covering Willam Beli's "Only Anally". Seriously, its a good version of what is apparently a Katy Perry song. Regarding the performance itself I'm stumped as to why she got through as that wasn't even a good just-off-the-buss first day of Hollywood week performance. What a waste of a locked in contestant slot. Bummer for Scrapie to have gone home for her sake. Brenda K Starr's Grown-Up Ovum: A veteran talent agent's life is probably 15% spent deflecting, sugar-coating and otherwise avoiding having to hear out each successive bumbling child out from within their sphere of industry connections. I have no clue what everyone else is listening to for her to get this far. I'd entirely believe you if you told me that this whole run was a very elaborate, multi-phased Make A Wish foundation grant and that John Cena will be there with an armband for Gianna any moment now. Lee Dungaree: Its like making a sandwich with one piece of bread. No structural strength to enjoy what flavor there might be. Lyrics getting dropped like loose pickles. Avalon: Got run over while singing with the band, did much better that moment when they stopped playing. Still the whole thing was pretty bad. Blond Talk-Singer: In a better universe he'd be up against the old Idol format and get stuck trying to squeeze his shtick into a night of Paul Anka songs. Will probably not and will only go as far in the industry as replacing whichever member of Emblem3 overdoses first. Tristan: Whatever this original song is its awful. If this was all that was available on the clearance list then I'd probably ask Mackenzie Bourg for a B-Side. But Tristan is very pretty so probably gets to enjoy a few safeweeks courtesy of human nature. Speaking of: Like an average waiter at Ruth's Chris he managed to carry something entirely predictable to its destination. Take your base. La'Porsha: Finally a rich voice to listen to. Used the day of vocal rest well. Run City, but in the positive, Brock Lesnar sense. Won't be close to being halved, let alone topped tonight. Sonika: Went as well as it could for a backup-this-rapper song from the dark half of the 2000's. Good for her not to get stuck in the Balladeer district and Thia Megia herself. MonoHatFreepassBoy: Should have took the lesson from Tom Stringfellow about the fate of halo-hat wearers. I liked it but I don't know where he's going with his whole thing. As long as its not into James Durbin twitch-metal lite, I guess I'm ok with it. Kind of a let down for the pimp spot though. Kelly should name her son Simon Seacrest Clarkson.
|
|
#
?
Feb 26, 2016 17:05
|
|
|
Kelly was a terrific judge. That went some way to help endure poo poo poo poo show. By the way, did you notice the producers kept their fingers away from the swaybots' "SCREAM" button? At one point J-Lo spoke like three minutes in complete silence, which was so eerie for this show. Usually they mash that poo poo every 5 seconds, particularly when MacKenzie tries to sing a soulful song. I was actually kinda impressed by Sonika this week. She showed some fight this week. With a little bit of customization, that song could've even been very good for her. Wasn't *that* impressed by le Porsche. Talent, yes. Staying a note behind the melody to make the voice stand out, sure. But she still looks kind of soulless.
|
|
#
?
Feb 26, 2016 21:21
|
|
|
Anya posted:Interesting to see how people have visually changed with increased use of the stylists. This is a funny sideshow for sure. They almost made Jeneve look good, that's something... but I particularly liked how Avalon went from "I'm completely natural and use zero make-up" to being styled to the max within the course of a week or so. This 2nd part of this week's show was surprisingly good, but it also made way too obvious how massive the range is in terms of quality of the competitors at this point: Class A: Porsche, Eyebrows McIndia - though there's something off-putting about La'Poršhá  ...might get bored with her again. Nailed it this week. Everything about Sonika is sexy, including her voice, her mom and the hole between her teeth Class B: Dalton - when it works, it works Class C: Mono, McKenzie - both are kind of just delivering their own thing over and over. It's fine but we've seen it already. McKenzie might actually have become progressively worse during the course of the season Class D: Avalon - I like her a lot, but I'm starting to realize that I only like her as a person Class E: Olivia, Lee - I bet the judges felt like it made sense to give Olivia the free pass...only to realize that she's got nothing anymore. Lee's just coasting the BGWG votes at this point Class Ö: Gianna, Tristan - what the jesus gently caress are they still doing here, my ears hurt. Okay we get it, they're 15. Bolivar fucked around with this message at 16:58 on Feb 27, 2016 |
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2016 16:42
|
|
|
There's a good 6-7 contestants here that I wouldn't mind watching over a normal season of Idol but the bad contestants are... really bad. It's surreal thinking this is the same show that had a near-perfect -- in both breadth and depth -- finals roster in S10/S11. I've only caught YouTube performances of Idol over the past two seasons but the stage is still laughably small and makes the show seem like amateur hour. And, in lieu of a catch-all singshow thread, Fifth Harmony is somehow on their second album and broke into the Top 40 with their new single in a single day. Suffice it to say, they seem to be the third-biggest stateside singshow success story, after Kelly and Carrie. The situation's a bit of a mess when you realize that they were on the least popular singshow and still managed to be huge with actual studio backing. Can we imagine what the final season of the Voice would look like? Will they interview Javier Colon and... whoever won the second season? Their new single's video, by the way, is...  .
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2016 18:54
|
|
|
I still think of them as the butterfly princess tea party fairy tale girls. Which is wrong. But good for their careers but working under that 3d place losers-bracket SyCo contract probably sucks.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2016 19:21
|
|
|
Yeah, there's a massive difference between styling last week vs this week. Avalon and Jeneve with vs without h/m were the standouts. Lee got a hair cut and is really trying for the BGWG. After thinking on it - I'm at Porsha, Trent, Dalton as my top. They all hit on different sectors of the viewing public and it's going to be interesting to see how they promote themselves to the hearts and minds of their adoring fans. Olivia is not as strong as I thought she was, and Lee/Mackenzie are going to merge together if they're not careful. And Jesus Christ the mere presence of Gianna just makes me mad. She's going to at least the top 5-8 before her act gets old and it's going to piss me off more and more each week.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2016 20:19
|
|
|
I think it's fair to say at this point that Idol never should have lowered the age limit for contestants. It hasn't done anything good for the show in any way. e: Also I hope the Judges' Save is a thing this season and they use it on a freshly eliminated Trent next week just to make sure he's had every possible unfair advantage SHVPS4DETH fucked around with this message at 20:58 on Feb 27, 2016 |
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2016 20:54
|
|
|
AMERICAN IDOL XV - UHHH TOP TEN I THINK? WHATEVER This uhhhhh gently caress who cares Olivia Rox – “Unconditionally” (-6/10) Cool poodle skirt. Atonal. Breathless. Tuneless. Horrible. Great use of that off-day. Judges can't help but point out that she hosed up. Live crowd doesn't know what to think. Gianna Isabella – “Listen” (-1000/10) I was wrong, Anya. You were right: Gianna sucks. gently caress me running. Unlistenably poor and unworthy of further comment. I wrote those on Friday night. It's Monday now and if I don't grunt the rest of this out I should stop recapping altogether. Just six more weeks and I no longer have to even think about it. So let's get baked and get this over with. Lee Jean – “Skinny Love” (1.5/10) I hate this song. I like Lee Jean. On the other hand, his big inspiration is S10 footnote Chris Medina. Lee couldn't find his pace before the kick drum showed up to guide him. Is he sick? Why won't he go past warmup voice? And then it's over as soon as it began. This was an absolute nothing and he was still off-pitch in parts.  Chris Medina's mic pack isn't on and the live directors are completely checked out and can't be bothered to do anything about a completely silent audience drowning out one person speaking. That's one of the funniest things that's ever happened on Idol.s c o t t b o r c h e t t a Avalon Young – “Stitches” (-2.5/10) Part of me wishes this was Orgy's "Stitches" but that's a self-insert karaoke memory gone awry. (Sidebar: Orgy is probably the worst band that I used to really like. Listening to them now I have no idea how a major label ever let those records see the light of day. Jay Gordon can't sing for poo poo.) Anyway Avalon looks fantastic. Her lower register just isn't there and her pacing needs a handclap track to guide her. Wildly and poorly intonated, and a song that is way out of her range. Her boundless charisma is getting a trial by fire this week. Dalton Rapattoni – “Hey There, Delilah” (5/10) gently caress this song to the ends of the earth and then gently caress it into orbit towards the sun. XV's resident fraud overacts his way through various packs of rabid screaming teenagers. Baby Curtis Stone does a ridiculous screamo stab at a low-key song and takes zero risks and a similar number of deep breaths. I can't say that he was off-key but it was also difficult to hear him over the pubescent squeals that overwhelmed him in the mix, and the arrangement was lacking in vocal ambition. Tristan McIntosh – “Nothin’ Like You” (-15/10) When Slezak gives you a D or worse, hang it up. There is nowhere to go from a Slezak D. That came out weird. Anyway this was embarrassingly horrible from top-to-bottom, including her atrocious outfit. The judges sugarcoat and couch until their lips fall off to pin-drop silence from the audience. Fifteen. She's fifteen. Fifteen. This is taking forever and Kelly's (admittedly adorable) rambling isn't helping the vibe. MacKenzie Bourg – “I See Fire” (2/10) There really should be a one-song limit on Ed Sheeran per episode of a singshow. McBorg starts shaky without accompaniment and only mildly improves after the band kicks in. He's frequently pitchy and never fully commits vocally and is so, so quiet. This, again, wasn't much of anything at all and should have been a solid base hit, but I'm wondering at this point if this is MacKenzie's ceiling and there's nowhere to go from here. La’Porsha Renae – “Diamonds” (7/10) Terrible song choice but then again, it's La'Porsha. She's copping Rihanna's style just a skotch too hard and it's coming off more than a bit robotic. The judges and audience react like a pack of rabid hyenas to the presence of any semblance of talent from this group and it is just a touch undeserved by an above-average but ultimately underwhelming performance. Has La'Porsha already peaked?  Keith called it "pure humanity" which is about as ridiculous as it gets.Sonika Vaid – “Bring Me to Life” (10/10) The worst song choice, as evidenced by every karaoke night across the nation since 2003. The mildly egdy choice of a million Hot Topic reward cardholders rears its monotonous head yet again courtesy of Sonika, who should know that she's better than this. I can't stop laughing at how over-the-top everything about this performance is but she's absolutely pitch perfect and holy poo poo she is my new spirit animal. She convinced me that this song could be good. Oh my god I just gave an Evanescence cover a 10 what is happening Trent Harmon – “Like I Can” (1/10) Can you though? Mr. Free Pass closes the night as overaffected as humanly possible. His falsetto is loving atrocious and he's overselling his syllables and overdoing the vibrato for no reason and it's over in a minute. There was nowhere to go but downhill after La'Porsha and Sonika but woof was that ever a wet fart to end on. They're hyping La'Porsha in every performance since she's performed which is pretty disingenuous. Sonika/La'Porsha is the only acceptable finale at this point. I have no idea who's going home but as long as it isn't either of them I honestly don't care. I mean that wholly. I know it's fun to predict who goes whom but I legitimately can't be bothered. Hopefully Gianna and Tristan. B-B-B-B-BONUS PERFORMANCE: Kelly Clarkson, "Piece by Piece" Not that I relish losing my poo poo right before I go to work or anything, but god drat. Thanks, Kelly. You're the best.
|
|
#
?
Feb 29, 2016 22:30
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 13:41 |
|
|
Two part Reality Check with Slezak and Melinda is pretty good. Lots and lots of shade cast on Jlo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP_RF0ZxKu8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysqgcqdZd94
|
|
#
?
Mar 2, 2016 00:35
|
|