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SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

Blurry Gray Thing posted:


DC makes movies for child-like adults who still want the same stuff they liked as children, but "dark". Like maybe there's a grown-rear end man in a Halloween costume and he goes on a rant lifted straight from a goth teen's diary, but everyone's supposed to think it's really scary but also deep and wow, maybe he's right. The audience (and probably the people making it) are the same type of people who write "gritty and realistic" Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction, except they liked comic books more than their Sega Genesis.

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Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right

Lasher posted:

Knot-Man is good with knots.

Boomerang is good with boomerangs.

Katana has a sword.

Deadshot is a good shot.

Crocodile is a Crocodile man.

Who else did I miss in this highly original and well thought out lineup?

Enchantress can cast spells

El Diablo can control fire

Rick Flag can shoot guns

Harley Quinn ..... knows the Joker? Has a baseball bat???

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Enchantress can cast spells

El Diablo can control fire

Rick Flag can shoot guns

Harley Quinn ..... knows the Joker? Has a baseball bat???

She acts as a Harlequin, is her power

Black Empowered Woman is Assertive

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right

Don Tacorleone posted:

She acts as a Harlequin, is her power

She doesn't even wear her red and black harlequin costume in this movie.

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right

naem posted:

If there was a one off character called Bananaman who throws bananas and tells jokes DC would make it super grimdark and he'd kill some people and it would rain the whole time

Then reboot it with a way younger cast of like 20 year olds and make it really tone def and dry, then a re-reboot where it's like high school/wwII for some reason

Then a time traveling re-un-boot with the grimdark actor (who's like 52 now) teaming up with the 20 year olds (some of whom haven't aged well already) and make it too hammy, also they've run out of real bad guys already so they cram several minor badies in awkwardly

XMNN posted:

uh bananaman is real?



Not only that but Elstree Studios are developing a movie adaptation of the Bananaman cartoon because of course they loving are, the studios are scrambling to buy up the rights to every superhero franchise that has even a tiny amount of nostalgia value. It was supposed to have a 2015 release but that quietly got changed to 'coming soon' late last year.

There's no word yet on how grim and gritty it will be but they probably won't be able to resist subtitling it MAN OF PEEL.

Fidel Cuckstro
Jul 2, 2007

Will Smith will reprise his role as "cool black action hero" and be the only character in the movie that makes his scenes vaguely engaging for the audience.

naem
May 29, 2011

Darkness, a scream

Gravel crunches, footsteps

Sudden flash of light reveals gritty punks running, climbing a chain link fence

Foghorns

Garbage fills the gritty backstreets

A lone figure, grissled, crescent shaped scar running down one eye, spits on ground, his desert tan armor plates flashing yellow against the lightning, AR15 at port arms

Punks realize they are trapped

Grissled figure drops broken, bleeding body at their feet

"Y-you c-cant d-do that!! You're crazy!!"

I'M *dramatic closeup* TOTALLY BANANAS

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Butt.

romanowski
Nov 10, 2012

i saw the deadpool trailer when i went to see the revenant it looks really bad. like it's trying so hard to be self-aware and cool but it comes off as desperate and out of touch. also ryan reynolds sucks and also didn't he already play deadpool in another movie where he dies? anyway that's my review of the deadpool trailer. the revenant was pretty cool, leo got raped by a bear

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

naem posted:

Darkness, a scream

Gravel crunches, footsteps

Sudden flash of light reveals gritty punks running, climbing a chain link fence

Foghorns

Garbage fills the gritty backstreets

A lone figure, grissled, crescent shaped scar running down one eye, spits on ground, his desert tan armor plates flashing yellow against the lightning, AR15 at port arms

Punks realize they are trapped

Grissled figure drops broken, bleeding body at their feet

"Y-you c-cant d-do that!! You're crazy!!"

I'M *dramatic closeup* TOTALLY BANANAS

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

romanowski posted:

i saw the deadpool trailer when i went to see the revenant it looks really bad. like it's trying so hard to be self-aware and cool but it comes off as desperate and out of touch. also ryan reynolds sucks and also didn't he already play deadpool in another movie where he dies? anyway that's my review of the deadpool trailer. the revenant was pretty cool, leo got raped by a bear

I love how the studio had to make a official press release about the movie not having rape by a bear.

Congrats on that online people

WatermelonGun
May 7, 2009

etalian posted:

I love how the studio had to make a official press release about the movie not having rape by a bear.

Congrats on that online people

Good lord, really?

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







naem posted:

Darkness, a scream

Gravel crunches, footsteps

Sudden flash of light reveals gritty punks running, climbing a chain link fence

Foghorns

Garbage fills the gritty backstreets

A lone figure, grissled, crescent shaped scar running down one eye, spits on ground, his desert tan armor plates flashing yellow against the lightning, AR15 at port arms

Punks realize they are trapped

Grissled figure drops broken, bleeding body at their feet

"Y-you c-cant d-do that!! You're crazy!!"

I'M *dramatic closeup* TOTALLY BANANAS

Fidel Cuckstro
Jul 2, 2007

WatermelonGun posted:

Good lord, really?

Yep Deadpool is not raped by a bear, no matter what people tell you.

Falun Bong Refugee
Dec 14, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
In the revenant DiCaprio did get bad touched by a bear.

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot
Somehow it still looks better than ghost busters 2016

romanowski
Nov 10, 2012

etalian posted:

I love how the studio had to make a official press release about the movie not having rape by a bear.

Congrats on that online people

no joke there were several moments during that scene where i was like "holy poo poo it's actually going to happen"

WatermelonGun
May 7, 2009

romanowski posted:

no joke there were several moments during that scene where i was like "holy poo poo it's actually going to happen"

sounds like you caught a bad case of the retards

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot


Seriously folks this is ghost busters 2016.

Fidel Cuckstro
Jul 2, 2007

*cracks knuckles*

Looks like we got ourselves someone with a problem with female protagonists, boys.

Get a rope.

Falun Bong Refugee
Dec 14, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
Looks fine. You know it's a comedy, right? It's not an action SciFi thriller.

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot

Slime Bro Helpdesk posted:

*cracks knuckles*

Looks like we got ourselves someone with a problem with female protagonists, boys.

Get a rope.

I'm just saying that this is all we have to go on and its coming out this year.

E:
Also its literally a direct reboot which is dumb.

Fidel Cuckstro
Jul 2, 2007

I'm excited for Ghostbusters 2 because I'm pretty sure by the time it's released I'll be out of people posting boring long-winded opinions on Star Wars Gender Politics on my Facebook feed.

By summer it will be a thought crime to think Kristen Wiig isn't as great as Bill Murray, and that's going to own.

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right

romanowski posted:

i saw the deadpool trailer when i went to see the revenant it looks really bad. like it's trying so hard to be self-aware and cool but it comes off as desperate and out of touch. also ryan reynolds sucks and also didn't he already play deadpool in another movie where he dies? anyway that's my review of the deadpool trailer.

Deadpool? The new Ryan Reynolds chickflick romance film??



Immortan
Jun 6, 2015

by Shine
The Joker in this looks incredibly stupid and just lol at trying to top Ledger's Joker for sheer batshit insanity as well.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Every time I see the Leto Joker I imagine The Joker going into a tattoo parlor, and it's weird.

Whatev
Jan 19, 2007

unfading
This movie is going to sneak out of its court ordered Dick Suckers Anonymous meeting to suck dog dick

romanowski
Nov 10, 2012

WatermelonGun posted:

sounds like you caught a bad case of the retards

i was really hoping it would happen

naem
May 29, 2011

The joker doesn't have to be a jack Nicholson/Heath ledger level performance, he could just be a wacky background character, we are all just super spoiled now

I mean it's going to suck though yeah

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right

The Human Crouton posted:

Every time I see the Leto Joker I imagine The Joker going into a tattoo parlor, and it's weird.

Flipping through a display book of skullfaced clown tattoo designs, talking about fonts for his DAMAGED tattoo...

Whatev
Jan 19, 2007

unfading

naem posted:

The joker doesn't have to be a jack Nicholson/Heath ledger level performance, he could just be a wacky background character, we are all just super spoiled now

I mean it's going to suck though yeah
No way the movie isn't structured to build up to the Joker's reveal under the assumption you are super pumped to see him

naem
May 29, 2011

Darkness, a scream

Gravel crunches, footsteps

Sudden flash of light reveals gritty punks running, climbing a chain link fence

Foghorns

Garbage fills the gritty backstreets

A lone figure, grissled, apple shaped scar running down one eye, spits on ground, desert tan armor plates flashing yellow against her flanks, AR15 at port arms

Punks realize they are trapped

Grissled figure drops broken, bleeding body at her hooves

CLOP CLOP CLOP CLOP

"Y-you c-cant d-do that!! You're crazy!!"

I'M *dramatic closeup* SOMETHING SOMETHING MY LITTLE PONY CATCHPHRASE

Ramrod Hotshot
May 30, 2003

this and Superman are going to be "goodbad"

ergo the only way I will see them is blazed as gently caress

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
i really like how harley quinn looks in the trailer

dont understand why you want her to look like the cartoon, that jester costume was stupid

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010

High quality in-trailer delivery of the title though. "It must be some sort of hot tub time machine suicide squad"

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice
idk looks p stupid to me so im sure it will make a fortune

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

naem posted:

Darkness, a scream

Gravel crunches, footsteps

Sudden flash of light reveals gritty punks running, climbing a chain link fence

Foghorns

Garbage fills the gritty backstreets

A lone figure, grissled, apple shaped scar running down one eye, spits on ground, desert tan armor plates flashing yellow against her flanks, AR15 at port arms

Punks realize they are trapped

Grissled figure drops broken, bleeding body at her hooves

CLOP CLOP CLOP CLOP

"Y-you c-cant d-do that!! You're crazy!!"

I'M *dramatic closeup* SOMETHING SOMETHING MY LITTLE PONY CATCHPHRASE

Falun Bong Refugee
Dec 14, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
Gonna hurt you really back.

TheIllestVillain
Dec 27, 2011

Sal, Wyoming's not a country

that is some truly shameful booty

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Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.


Who is this? Hank Hill ?

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