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Hello all, I, along with two gentlemen, lead a small team of web developers, operations managers, and inside sales representatives for a security firm. Our branch has been around for a couple years, and we have only one veteran who's been with us since the beginning. You guys can call him Rocky. He's pretty unique - he's in his 50's, he's a military veteran, he's morbidly obese, he can be inadvertently inappropriate but is completely harmless, he's dirt poor, he's single, he has suicidal thoughts, he's socially inept, falls asleep on the job often, and is flat out dumb. That is not a character attack, that is a fact. He does not process information well. This, however, wasn't always the case. He was the star of our sales team two years ago, killing it on a two-man team-- beating out Corporate's staff's numbers so badly as to make their team obsolete, and has carried the team as we've grown. Since, it's apparent that his health has been declining and his attitude has gone from jolly all day to cynical and anxious, as we implement new systems that he is really struggling to adjust to. We've gotten to know this guy very well, and as quirky as he is, it's hard to imagine our culture functioning without him. The problem is, in the past few months, he's cost our company money while costing his boss money and time as he patiently coaches the dude every single day. It's painful, and he is aware that his job is on the line. This knowledge motivates him, but he is physically incapable of doing the work required of him. We're fighting to keep this guy and doing everything we can to get him to adjust and think better, but there's only so much we can do, and only so much time and so many more mistakes until we have to let him go. To give you all some more context, the fellas I work with are members of the same church as me, and a big part of our ministry is giving financially. We don't have a whole lot, but with our church backing us up in funding, it's possible that we can give to him in a big way. We just don't know where to start. I see that letting him go will be an inevitable reality, but we're not ready to fully embrace that. We care about him too much to let go of him altogether; and if we did, there's nowhere else for him to go. (He's been a social reject for most of his adult life and has some horror stories about previous workplaces; and I doubt that, in his state, he could ever find another job, let alone a job where the team loves and uplifts him. I have no doubts that he will end up on the streets if we let him go.) If we can find a way, we will help him get on his feet again. Does anyone have any advice or ideas? Has anyone faced anything similar? Does anyone know of any programs that might help a guy like him? Halp
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Jan 13, 2016 01:50
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 15:51 |
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If he's morbidly obese, is there any chance that he could be convinced to take better care of himself? That would take quite a while, but if you can start with that, you should. He's got to want to do that, though.
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Jan 13, 2016 03:29
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Yeah, there's definitely a chance. We're able to get him motivated for a short time, but understandably, he's very easily set back. Since things are getting serious, our plan is to have an intervention-style discussion with him tomorrow about his weight and getting counseling while we seek financial support from our church. You're right about it being a slow process- the poor guy is so deep in the hole that change seems like it's not even worth trying. But he needs people to believe in him, so we're going to take a chance.
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Jan 13, 2016 04:38
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Please keep updating this thread. I'm really excited to find out how many different ways it's illegal for a company to hold an intervention for a fat employee.
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Jan 13, 2016 04:54
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i like nice words
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You could try praying harder... or getting the guy professional therapy. One of those might be effective.
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Jan 13, 2016 06:48
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FalloutGod posted:You could try praying harder... or getting the guy professional therapy. One of those might be effective. "our plan is to have an intervention-style discussion with him tomorrow about his weight and getting counseling while we seek financial support from our church." You could try reading the thread and not being a smug atheist prick. Churches aren't just for sucking some big juicy God dong, they're also community centers.
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Jan 13, 2016 18:48
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Haha. I don't think we're in danger of crossing any legal boundaries, but I appreciate your concern. By "intervention-style discussion" I meant we- not the entire team, just three higher-ups who know and love him- would have a really candid talk in which we would express our concerns and voice encouragement/desire to support him. This turned out to not be the right day for that, as his attitude and work ethic were much stronger than usual. I've asked around other forums and received some solid advice, including some help understanding his decline from a medical perspective. This has given me some direction, and instead of having a -serious discussion- with him today, I'm going to make the first step looking for outside resources that could counsel him and aid him financially. Fanana fucked around with this message at 00:19 on Jan 14, 2016 |
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Jan 14, 2016 00:17
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https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Americans_with_Disabilities_Act_of_1990
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Jan 14, 2016 00:35
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I admire your dedication to treating your co-worker as a valuable human being and not just a cog in the machine to be thrown away because he's become inconvenient. Hopefully, your intervention ideas to help keep him on the job will work. It sounds like he may have some serious issues besides just being obese, so maybe help get him to a doctor, too? If his disabilities are truly incapacitating him to where he's no longer able to work, then perhaps you could look into how to apply for disability and help him navigate that process, which he might feel too discouraged to do on his own. I've heard wait times to receiving that first check can be long, so maybe your church would be able to provide him with more support until the disability income kicked in. It does sound like the human companionship from the job is important to his well-being, so if he's no longer able to work then maybe you could also try to involve him in other activities so he feels like he's still a part of something. Anyway, there are a lot of cynics on this forum, but regardless of religion, you and your church friends are doing the right thing to help someone whom society as a whole doesn't care about. Would like to hear a happy ending to this story! I wish you the best.
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Jan 14, 2016 03:11
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Is he willing to accept help? If yes, contact a veteran support group for guidance in plugging him in to veteran's programs that will improve his life. Some professional counseling may go a long ways. Many times your county has a veterans affairs department that can meet with him and give direction. But, all hinges on his willingness to accept help.
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Jan 15, 2016 04:41
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What changed over two years that pushed this guy from star performer to this? It very likely isn't just the obesity and might have nothing to do with it. He was just as dumb two years ago and killing it, right? I suspect the people talking about other medical issues are correct. What symptoms does he have aside from falling asleep?
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Jan 15, 2016 09:33
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Adar posted:What changed over two years that pushed this guy from star performer to this? It very likely isn't just the obesity and might have nothing to do with it. He was just as dumb two years ago and killing it, right? Given the man's age and weight, a quite probable medical cause of his trouble is sleep apnea, which can lead to exactly the symptoms described – a person falling asleep on the job, apparently stupider, and whose disposition becomes much more surly and irritable, due to chronic sleep deprivation. The person themselves is often unaware of their awakenings (since they don't wake up fully enough to form a memory of it, only to disrupt their sleep) and simply thinks they're a bad snorer: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/sleep-apnea/basics/symptoms/con-20020286 I am no doctor, and this sort of thing needs diagnosing by a sleep clinic, which will also exclude other possible issues like micro-strokes. But given that the problem is treatable with a CPAP machine (an annoyance to use, but really does make a big difference), perhaps mentioning it might encourage the guy to accept some financial help from work/church in getting a diagnosis. Middle-aged oddball guys who live alone and are obese are not the likeliest people to massively reform their diet, but we can hope.
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Jan 17, 2016 10:54
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Carnival of Shrews posted:Given the man's age and weight, a quite probable medical cause of his trouble is sleep apnea, which can lead to exactly the symptoms described – a person falling asleep on the job, apparently stupider, and whose disposition becomes much more surly and irritable, due to chronic sleep deprivation. The person themselves is often unaware of their awakenings (since they don't wake up fully enough to form a memory of it, only to disrupt their sleep) and simply thinks they're a bad snorer: My Girlfriend does sleep studies (She's a RT) and this poo poo all sounds spot on. My dad went through phases like you describe for this guy and after he got his C-PAP he went from basically being a couch hippo to being far more active. It's hard to be convinced that weight loss can even be done when you are exhausted from lack of sleep all the time.
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Jan 18, 2016 23:38
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