Bitcoin is hilariously broken in 2016

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Bitcoin is hilariously broken in 2016

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Serrath posted:

Like, they're not even real, my god.

So many red flags. Still, the training wheels have to come off some time and if she only loses $6k out of this then she might learn a lesson for the future.

Zeroisanumber posted:

She will save much, much more by writing off the loan and dumping this guy right now than she ever would make by selling the bitcoins and keeping him around.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2016 09:28

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# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 10:20

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Microwaves Mom posted:

So wait is bitcoin dead now?

As long as there are libertarians the bitcoin ideal will never die.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2016 10:14

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Professor Shark posted:

So she isn't able to cash them out herself and she's going to be waiting at least 4 years before he starts making payments on his most likely interest free loan of $6k... that guy totally scammed her, Bitcoin style

Assuming he makes it through his first year without failing anything he's probably going to want another $6k for the next years tuition. And every subsequent year after that until he gives up or graduates.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2016 16:58

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Subterfrugal posted:

So if I bought 50 of these back when we were first making fun of them for like $60, how do I collect my winnings?

1) Find a bitcoin scammer
2) Give them all your bitcoins
3) up Up UP!

# ¿ Jan 18, 2016 17:01

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

my morning jackass posted:

turns out a political and economic ideology that relies on "rational actors" struggles when individuals are put under any sense of duress and are unable to act rationally.

who would have thought?

Beep blorp why are my fellow libertarians acting in an irrational manner. This is most unsettling.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 00:32

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

gnarlyhotep posted:

well yes, but it was a big thing about 5 or 6 years ago, how it was going to revolutionize currency and the world itself

So the thread title is a reminder of the hubris

At least in 2009/2010 the underlying network was working, it was just bitcoiners themselves that we were laughing at. Now their broken brains have broken the actual network they have invested in and the whole house of cards is in danger of tumbling down.

Good work bitcoiners, make Ayn Rand proud.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 07:19

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Gobbeldygook posted:

pirateat40 aka Trendon T. Shavers

He's going to be sentenced in a couple weeks time so that's something to look forward to

http://www.coindesk.com/bitcoin-ponzi-scheme-operator-pleads-guilty-to-securities-fraud/

quote:

Bitcoin Ponzi Scheme Operator Pleads Guilty to Securities Fraud
Pete Rizzo (@pete_rizzo_) | Published on September 21, 2015 at 22:48 GMT

Bitcoin Ponzi scheme perpetrator Trendon Shavers has plead guilty to securities fraud, a decision that reverses plea of not guilty submitted in March.

Shavers faced up to 20 years in prison for defrauding investors out of an estimated $4.5m while operating Bitcoin Savings & Trust (BS&T). The investment scheme, which promised investors 7% returns on bitcoin market arbitrage activity in 2011 and 2012, became the object of a US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) inquiry in July 2013.

According to a report by Bloomberg, Shavers will now serve anywhere from 33 months to 41 months in prison as a result of the plea deal, and pay a $5m fine.

�I know what I did was wrong and am very sorry,� Shavers said in a court hearing, according to the news source.

Shavers was ultimately found to be engaging in a Ponzi scheme whereby money from new investors was used to issue "interest payments" to new investors. Further, he exchanged bitcoin into US dollars to pay personal expenses, investigators found.

As a result of an initial inquiry, Shavers was forced to pay $40m in penalties for violating anti-fraud and securities laws in September of 2014. He was subsequently arrested again on criminal charges in November of that year.

A 9th September filing in the case previously revealed that US Attorney Preet Bharara had postponed a pre-trial conference on the basis the parties were working toward an agreement.

Shavers is scheduled to be sentenced on 3rd February, 2016.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2016 02:13

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Professor Shark posted:

Was it the first big Bitcoin crash that was caused by a goon posting "BITCOIN IS CRASHING: SELL SELL SELL" on their forum?

THE PRICE OF BITCOINS IS CRASHING SELL SELL SELL

onesalt posted:

Um, Hes actually correct, the price of bitcoins is crashing.

'course then it did crash properly again in July 2011. Those were the days.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Bitcoin

code:

Date 	Price for 1 BTC 	Notes
Jan 2009 � Jan 2010 	basically none 	No exchanges or market, users were mainly cryptography fans who were sending bitcoins for low or no value.
Feb 2010 � May 2010 	less than $0.01 	On 22 May 2010,[76] user "laszlo" made the first real-world transaction by buying two pizzas in Jacksonville, Florida for 10,000 BTC.[77][78] User "SmokeTooMuch" auctioned 10,000 BTC for $50 (cumulatively), but no buyer was found.[79][80]
July 2010 	$0.08 	In five days, the price grew 1000%, rising from $0.008 to $0.08 for 1 bitcoin.
Feb 2011 � April 2011 	$1 	bitcoin takes parity with US dollar.[81]
8 July 2011 	$31 	top of first "bubble", followed by the first price drop
Dec 2011 	$2 	minimum after few months
Dec 2012 	$13 	slowly rising for a year

Ivor Biggun fucked around with this message at 03:47 on Jan 21, 2016

# ¿ Jan 21, 2016 03:43

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Captain Cool posted:

y e s

Thre best part of that is how he was so concerned that the cops didn't understand bitcoin, rather than relieved that they caught the robber and recovered his wad of fiat currency.

Also the first comment

AtkinsonCameron posted:

lol, if you go to trade BTC in person, you had better be carrying a weapon. You can never rely on bystanders. My personal advice is a .38 that you can conceal easily. :P

# ¿ Jan 22, 2016 00:36

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

QuarkJets posted:

Are there even counties that have a mandated last call of 10PM? I figured most places were at least midnight or just completely dry

If you're making up a fictional example to win an Internet argument you can change the liquor licensing laws to whatever you want.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2016 05:43

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Tenzarin posted:

What happens when there are no more bitcoins to mine?

It'll be 2140 and we'll all be dead.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2016 22:02

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Armchair Calvinist posted:

I received my degree in economics, and with such have approached Bitcoin from a classical economic pedigree.

Most (all) people I've interacted with in the cryptocurrency space have received their knowledge of economics through the eco chamber of Bitcoin.

Every single catastrophic shower thought I had in the first five minutes of having Bitcoin explained to me is now being realized by the Bitcoin space and my acquaintances are looking at me like I am some sort of prophet.

I don't have the heart to tell people that I learned more about Bitcoin through trading Pokemon cards than any amount of higher education

Reminds me of this Onion piece: Historians Politely Remind Nation To Check What's Happened In Past Before Making Any Big Decisions

http://www.theonion.com/article/historians-politely-remind-nation-to-check-whats-h-26183

quote:

WASHINGTON�With the United States facing a daunting array of problems at home and abroad, leading historians courteously reminded the nation Thursday that when making tough choices, it never hurts to stop a moment, take a look at similar situations from the past, and then think about whether the decisions people made back then were good or bad.

According to the historians, by looking at things that have already happened, Americans can learn a lot about which actions made things better versus which actions made things worse, and can then plan their own actions accordingly.

"In the coming weeks and months, people will have to make some really important decisions about some really important issues," Columbia University historian Douglas R. Collins said during a press conference, speaking very slowly and clearly so the nation could follow his words. "And one thing we can do, before making a choice that has permanent consequences for our entire civilization, is check real quick first to see if human beings have ever done anything like it previously, and see if turned out to be a good idea or not."

"It's actually pretty simple: We just have to ask ourselves if people doing the same thing in the past caused something bad to happen," Collins continued. "Did the thing we're thinking of doing make people upset? Did it start a war? If it did, then we might want to think about not doing it."

In addition, Collins carefully explained that if a past decision proved to be favorable�if, for example, it led to increased employment, caused fewer deaths, or made lots of people feel good inside� then the nation should consider following through with the same decision now.

While the new strategy, known as "Look Back Before You Act," has raised concerns among people worried they will have to remember lots of events from long ago, the historians have assured Americans they won't be required to read all the way through thick books or memorize anything.

Instead, citizens have been told they can just find a large-print, illustrated timeline of historical events, place their finger on an important moment, and then look to the right of that point to see what happened afterward, paying especially close attention to whether things got worse or better.

"You know how the economy is not doing so well right now?" Professor Elizabeth Schuller of the University of North Carolina said. "Well, in the 1930s, financial markets�no, wait, I'm sorry. Here: A long, long time ago, way far in the past, certain things happened that were a lot like things now, and they made people hungry and sad."

"How do you feel when you're hungry? Doesn't feel good, does it?" Schuller added. "So, maybe we should avoid doing those things that caused people to feel that way, don't you think?"

Concluding their address, the panel of scholars provided a number of guidelines to help implement the strategy, reminding the nation that the biggest decisions required the most looking back, and stressing the importance of checking the past before one makes a decision, not afterward, when the decision has already been made.

While many citizens have expressed skepticism of the historians' assertions, the majority of Americans have reportedly grasped the concept of noticing bad things from earlier times and trying not to repeat them.

"I get it. If we do something bad that happened before, then the same bad thing could happen again," said Barb Ennis, 48, of Pawtucket, RI. "We don't want history to happen again, unless the thing that happened was good."

"When you think about it, a lot of things have happened already," Ennis added. "That's what history is."

In Washington, several elected officials praised the looking-back-first strategy as a helpful, practical tool with the potential to revolutionize government.

"The things the historians were saying seemed complicated at first, but now it makes sense to me," said Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), who reversed his opposition to oil-drilling safety regulations after checking past events and finding a number of "very, very sad things [he] didn't like." "I just wished they'd told us about this trick before.

Bitcoin: All this has happened before and will happen again.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2016 03:22

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

XYZ posted:

So does this mean mining easier or what i dont get buttcoin

Silver95280 posted:

It doubles the block size limit; enabling the bitcoin nodes to process more transactions at a time.

But because some nodes will be using the increased limit and some won't, eventually there's going to be an oversize block that some nodes will process and others won't. Then bitcoin splits into two nearly identical blockchains/networks that overlap each other.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2016 23:20

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# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 10:20

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Snuffman posted:

I read about these people that supposedly have "millions" in bitcoins on a harddrive (cause they got in early, when mining was possible on a normal PC?) but I'm confused...what can you actually DO with a bitcoin?

From what I can tell, buy drugs from whatever the modern version of Silk Road is and maybe buy game CD-keys from sketchy Eastern European websites?

I have a friend who's into Bitcoin, though not hardcore, and he tried to explain to me that he uses it to "tip" people? How is that not like giving someone a gift card that they can never spend?

Isn't converting bitcoin into regular currency, if possible, defeating the point of bitcoins?

Are bitcoiners just crazy people that are praying that eventually the crazy becomes contagious, the world accepts bitcoin as a normal currency and they're a millionaires?

EDIT: How is 1 bitcoin worth 582 dollars CAD? "Hurr hurr currency is only worth what people agree that its worth" but with a loonie, I can walk into the local convenience store and actually BUY something. How the hell does a bitcoin have that kind of value when, from what I'm reading, the process of turning it into real money is extremely complicated and sketchy.

Yes

Snuffman posted:

I don't get it.

This is a normal reaction to Bitcoin.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2016 09:56

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Bitcoin is hilariously broken in 2016