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If by my sole discretion i think it's a pos ill probate you. any debate or questioning of my bating or not bating reasons will also result in a probe. enjoy
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Jan 25, 2016 21:08
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Smythe posted:If by my sole discretion i think it's a pos ill probate you. any debate or questioning of my bating or not bating reasons will also result in a probe. enjoy  (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 25, 2016 21:28
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tN3qn92R0SE (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 25, 2016 21:40
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QA Engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sfdeljknesv. huehuehueheuheueueheuheueuheuheuheuehueh!!
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Jan 25, 2016 22:27
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A group of programmers and marketers were traveling to a trade show on a train. Each of the marketers had bought a ticket, but the programmers had only bought one ticket for the lot of them. One of the programmers was keeping a lookout, and when the conductor neared their car he called out "The conductor's coming!" and all of the programmers piled into the train's lavatory and closed the door. The conductor took the tickets of all of the marketers, and then knocked on the lavatory door and called "Ticket please." The programmers slid their ticket under the door, and the conductor took it and left. The programmers were laughing at the marketers for the rest of the trip, and the marketers felt like idiots. On the way back, the marketers decided they would use the same trick and only bought one ticket for them. But this time, the programmers didn't buy a single ticket! Again, one of the programmers kept a lookout for the conductor. When he called "Conductor coming!" all of the programmers piled into one lavatory, and all of the marketers shut themselves into another lavatory. One programmer came back out of his lavatory, knocked on the other door, and said "Ticket please!" huehuehueheuheueueheuheueuheuheuheuehueh!!
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Jan 25, 2016 22:27
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A Geologist and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!" This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?" The Engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist. Now, it's the Engineer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail. After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?" Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep. Engineer win! huehuehueheuheueueheuheueuheuheuheuehueh!!
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Jan 25, 2016 22:28
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Q: How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Yes. huehuehueheuheueueheuheueuheuheuheuehueh!!
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Jan 25, 2016 22:28
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chome failfox slowfari Internet exploiter Microsoft project spurtin (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 25, 2016 22:42
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linux (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 25, 2016 23:16
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A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realises he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must be an engineer" says the balloonist. "I am" replies the man. "How did you know." "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone." The man below says "you must be in management." "I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
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Jan 25, 2016 23:43
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android (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 25, 2016 23:46
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Q: why do programmers get christmas and halloween mixed up? a: because dec25 = oct31 (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 25, 2016 23:52
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 (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 00:36
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The Leck posted:Q: why do programmers get christmas and halloween mixed up? hehe I actually never heard this one (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 00:38
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there are 10 kinds of people in the world those who get binary those who don't get binary and those who kinda get binary but are always off by 1
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Jan 26, 2016 00:47
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Programmer is at the grocery store and gets a call from his wife. Wife reminds him, 'Be sure to grab a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.' Husband comes home with 12 loaves of bread. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 01:10
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Sham bam bamina! posted:there are 10 kinds of people in the world there are 10 kinds of people in the world those who get ternary those who don't get ternary those who mistake ternary for binary
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Jan 26, 2016 01:19
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Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
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Jan 26, 2016 01:21
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code:
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Jan 26, 2016 01:23
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Q: Has google killed web calendar yet? A: Nope, but its days are numbered!
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Jan 26, 2016 02:15
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what do you get when you cross neil peart with windows 3.1? progman.exe  ed: cross david gilmour with win95 and you get microsoft pulse Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 04:35 on Jan 26, 2016 |
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Jan 26, 2016 02:19
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An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”
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Jan 26, 2016 02:41
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i like my women the way i like my file systems; fat and 16
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Jan 26, 2016 03:37
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Your Operating System is a Piece of poo poo (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 03:59
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Your operating system? It;s a piece of poo poo. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 04:00
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[Pointing to piece of poo poo] See that? That's your operating system. You stupid bitch. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 04:01
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Have you ever been walking around, and you step in some fecal matter, aka "poo poo"? Well, what's the difference between that and your operating system lol. Your operating system is a piece of poo poo. You loving dumbass. You human waste. Lmao. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 04:09
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yospos is the funniest subforum on this site (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 04:34
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a web browser walks into a bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into another bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar the bartender serves him a 300 so he leaves and goes into the other bar
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Jan 26, 2016 04:38
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i hate when cat thread posters wander into other threads in teh 'pos
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Jan 26, 2016 05:14
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anyway, i don't have any good computer jokes, but i do have a lot of work to do and could use about a month of productivity probes (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 05:14
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As a Millennial I posted:i hate when cat thread posters wander into other threads in teh 'pos Your Operating System is a Piece of poo poo (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 05:25
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You're your operating system. Unrelated, but have you noticed anything about your operating system? Namely that it's a piece of poo poo? Well guess what bitch, Your Operating System is a Piece of poo poo. And you're your operating system, so, to put it in words that your feeble 5 figgie mind can understand: your a piece of poo poo, you're garbage. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 05:33
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Jan 26, 2016 06:02
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What's your operating system? OS X? Haha, [I'm saying this like a stereotypical black lady] oh hell no! [Back to my cool, calm, but still powerful YOSPOS computer voice] Bitch, Your Operating System is a Piece of poo poo. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 06:10
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dumb crambo posted:Your Operating System is a Piece of poo poo dumb crambo posted:Your operating system? It;s a piece of poo poo. dumb crambo posted:[Pointing to piece of poo poo] See that? That's your operating system. You stupid bitch. dumb crambo posted:Have you ever been walking around, and you step in some fecal matter, aka "poo poo"? Well, what's the difference between that and your operating system lol. Your operating system is a piece of poo poo. You loving dumbass. You human waste. Lmao. dumb crambo posted:Your Operating System is a Piece of poo poo dumb crambo posted:You're your operating system. Unrelated, but have you noticed anything about your operating system? Namely that it's a piece of poo poo? Well guess what bitch, Your Operating System is a Piece of poo poo. And you're your operating system, so, to put it in words that your feeble 5 figgie mind can understand: your a piece of poo poo, you're garbage. dumb crambo posted:What's your operating system? OS X? Haha, [I'm saying this like a stereotypical black lady] oh hell no! [Back to my cool, calm, but still powerful YOSPOS computer voice] Bitch, Your Operating System is a Piece of poo poo. this guy groks the zeitgeist (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 07:02
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If Operating Systems Were Beers... DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available. Mac Beer: At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan. Windows 3.1 Beer: The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality you can only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking the Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for apparently no reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it. OS/2 Beer: Comes in a 32-oz can. Does allow you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously. Allows you to drink Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously too, but somewhat slower. Advertises that its cans won't explode when you open them, even if you shake them up. You never really see anyone drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer Manufacturing) claims that 9 million six-packs have been sold. Windows 95 Beer: You can't buy it yet, but a lot of people have taste-tested it and claim it's wonderful. The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but tastes more like Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when you look inside, the cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most people will probably keep drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until their friends try Windows 95 Beer and say they like it. The ingredients list, when you look at the small print, has some of the same ingredients that come in DOS beer, even though the manufacturer claims that this is an entirely new brew. Windows NT Beer: Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truckload. This causes most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. The can looks just like Windows 3.1 Beer's, but the company promises to change the can to look just like Windows 95 Beer's - after Windows 95 beer starts shipping. Touted as an "industrial strength" beer, and suggested only for use in bars. Unix Beer: Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz. to 64 oz. Drinkers of Unix Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even though they claim that all the different brands taste almost identical. Sometimes the pop-tops break off when you try to open them, so you have to have your own can opener around for those occasions, in which case you either need a complete set of instructions or a friend who has been drinking Unix Beer for several years. AmigaDOS Beer: The company has gone out of business, but their recipe has been picked up by some weird German company, so now this beer will be an import. This beer never really sold very well because the original manufacturer didn't understand marketing. Like Unix Beer, AmigaDOS Beer fans are an extremely loyal and loud group. It originally came in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in 32-oz. cans too. When this can was originally introduced, it appeared flashy and colorful, but the design hasn't changed much over the years, so it appears dated now. Critics of this beer claim that it is only meant for watching TV anyway. VMS Beer: Requires minimal user interaction, except for popping the top and sipping. However cans have been known on occasion to explode, or contain extremely un-beer-like contents. Best drunk in high pressure development environments. When you call the manufacturer for the list of ingredients, you're told that is proprietary and referred to an unknown listing in the manuals published by the FDA. Rumors are that this was once listed in the Physicians' Desk Reference as a tranquilizer, but no one can claim to have actually seen it. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 26, 2016 07:03
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i've got a really good joke about UDP but i dunno if you'd get it
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Jan 26, 2016 07:26
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Why do they call it hyper text? Too much JAVA!!!!11!!! :iamafag:
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Jan 26, 2016 07:42
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when apple make the lomarf car it will have o n l y o n e p e d a l 
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Jan 26, 2016 07:46
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