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pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

ImpAtom posted:

Supports can totally carry. They might not always get the kills but they can manipulate poo poo so hard that even inept teammates can do their job.

i like playing bard and being a hard carry support

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pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Zerilan posted:

These are the kinds of games that make me real tempted to pick up Bard and then probably gently caress over my team continuously with bad ults.

just be really basic with your ult. it has super long range but you are usually better off using it at medium ranges as a way to initiate ganks or prevent people from escaping unless you have a very clear idea what you are doing. really, more important is knowing how to use his q well and how to set up nice tunnels. try not to spend too much time loving off looking for chimes either because even though they are very lucrative it is very easy to remove yourself from the game by accident and completely eliminate your presence.

also, you can take thunderlords and just go hard on people from level 1 and out trade basically anybody. drop health relics behind your tower so you can stay nice and topped off and you are probably going to have a good laning phase. i got into playing bard around the same time i got into playing again and i do not think i have ever had a bad game with him

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

bro i just modded my poo poo with the japanese voices and it is loving intense

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Etrips posted:

Have a link on how to do this?

http://lexwah.com/lvoc/

cheers bud.

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

A Saucy Bratwurst posted:

Riot quoted hitler on their leona page



Thats a hitler quote

i love league of legends

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

the only announcer packs i would ever download are the nba jam one and a theoretical professor milk announcer pack

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Sperglord Firecock posted:

is galio a counter pick against leblanc

because i just saw a ranked game galio from surprise

yes the guy who gets damage from MR and has a skill that gives him MR counters the magic damage assassin

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Nyandaber Z posted:

I can understand the people being more raging in ranked, because MY PRECIOUS LP. But why does it feel people in ranked are also much more prone to leaving / DCing?

people who are on tilt get this absurd idea of what a "good game" is and as soon as anything deviates from this they consider the game lost and assume that they just have to keep rolling to get the winning combination that will get them out of elo hell

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

one time i was having a poo poo game as kog maw cause some rear end in a top hat zed kept flash suicide diving me and killing me every team fight, but the zed was also i think 70% of the teams kills at this point so by transitioning into trading 1 for 1 with me every fight all he did was make me salty and also making his team lose every fight until we easily won the game

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Sperglord Firecock posted:

then why did he feed her so hard

being bad at the game and/or playing galio or having a stupid item build. as long as you do not get killed by autos at level 1-2 it should be virtually impossible to lose that lane(you might not be able to do much about lb roaming though)

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Stefan Prodan posted:

Still though the burst assassin trading his life for the ADCs every fight sounds like he was doing his job?

Like ideally he wouldn't die but I mean if someone said as my team's Zed hey I'm just gonna die to kill the ADC every fight I'd be like cool man go with god

if someone said as my teams zed hey man i am going to go in 1v5 every fight and get locked down and die after killing the adc i would be like whoa buddy hold your horses we can initiate the fight for you and wait for them to blow cc so that you have a chance of surviving or doing damage to any other target before you die

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Radical posted:

being ahead and dying to kill their ranged man, if he isnt very far ahead, is not exactly a good use of zed's time. ideally the zed could just go to a sidelane and 1v1 people but such is life in soloqueue.

he was like 20/6 before he started doing that poo poo

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

How Rude posted:

morgana, is good

also, no one respects her. give mid morgana respect, for she will 2 shot you come lategame with Q W

mid morgana is one of the easiest god drat farmers in the game and people need to respect that easy farming matters a whole lot. maybe i can get100% of the cs auto attacking a wave as adc. maybe i would rather put down a pool and walk away and get 100% anyway in one third of the time

Servaetes posted:

Grr something something Riot bad skin testing not PBE grr rabble rabble I hate this company and game yet I still post about it or play it grr. Rumble doing more damage on blue side still my favorite bug tho

that one was funny but i have to give it to being able to rearrange the map in twisted treeline with syndra

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

sejuani breaking j4s ult

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

riot should code the milk builds into recommended builds on april 1st

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Luna Was Here posted:

Who is professor milk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YodcRRqodI

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

devourer is a freaking cool item and i love it even though it is blatantly broken as poo poo half the time. master yi rules. league of legends needs more on hit items that do cooler stuff besides flat dmg. maybe make an on hit effect that puts a stack and if you get 5 stacks it does a lot of damage cause riot loves counting to various numbers

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

you can just straight up take the names of major anime characters without having to put xs or numbers

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

i will coach any one but there is a catch i am going to make you buy wits end

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

build a wits end for your last item it has natural synergy with nautilus shield with the attack speed and the leeching of MR makes your attacks hit harder

Arrgytehpirate posted:

What should my last item be?

post your build

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Arrgytehpirate posted:

I would like to reach Gold V in an ideal world but I'm starting to think that might not be a realistic expectation. I'd be happy to leave bronze this season. I have settled on support with Nautilus being my primary. I'm gonna give Blitz/Janna/others a try in some normals to get some depth to my roster.

Here is an average win. http://www.replay.gg/search/na/arrgy#2110171201

Here is a loss. http://www.replay.gg/search/na/arrgy#2111100534

Here is my op.gg http://na.op.gg/summoner/userName=arrgy

the issue with sunfire last is not that sunfire is a bad item on nautilus, it is that by the time you get it the amount of damage it does is largely irrelevant. a randuins would be much better for the CC, and also in another game i noticed you built sunfire rather than getting 40% CDR. 40¤ CDR is way more important than like 40 magic damage per second, being reduced heavily because your build does not have abyssal scepter.

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Kashuno posted:

Congratulations, without looking at builds or games, we found a big reason you'll never leave b5

to be fair my man i would never buy pink wards even when i was regularly going up against d1s

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Kashuno posted:

At that elo it's not about how to react, it's just literally giving them an indicator on their map so they see it.they probably won't properly back off or push where they should, but at least they'll see it.

you are expecting bronze players to not have retarded tunnel vision and/or not be 5manning mid all of the time thus invalidating wards

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

nautilus is especially good to smack people around with using his autos, as his w provides a fairly strong on hit effect steroid and chances are in an outright all in scenario they are not going to focus you down enough to pop your shield before you can get 2-3 autos off. at shield lv1, that is a pretty nice extra ~45-60 damage added on to your auto attacks, as if you had like 20 more ad than you actually did. this is a very strong reason why most league of legends players are agreeing wits end is a must have on support nautilus

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Tequila Sunrise posted:

Talk all the poo poo you want on Mister Yi, he's still one of the best junglers in the game.

he is kinda poo poo right now tbh. not feeling yi every time i play him and i used to play him despite the myriad of complaints goons would throw at me for doing so

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

i dunno man. his master tier+ winrate is pretty spotty, averaging at around 45%, and of the 25 most recent games on probuilds he won 10. more importantly, he was only picked 10 times in the last month according to probuilds, and tier list aside from personal experience playing with him, playing as him, and playing against him i do not think he is particularly threatening compared to how he used to be and especially compared to actually banworthy junglers. he takes way too long to get going unless you miraculously get fed some how and even if you get fed i would rather be fed on xin zhao/shyvana or something

pog boyfriend fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Mar 1, 2016

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

The Shortest Path posted:

You're probably playing him wrong, tbh, and falling into the "build AS and crit" trap that most people assume you're supposed to build him like. His good playstyle now is Devourer - Titanic Hydra - tank items and anything else is begging to be food for the enemy team.

Not that he's super good or anything but he isn't bad.

yah probably i did not bother to update my build from way back when

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

i played nautilus like one time and i felt really bad about doing it so i stopped

pog boyfriend fucked around with this message at 21:44 on Mar 1, 2016

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Etrips posted:

Yeah, Naut is a little bonkers right now.

In other news, do we have any Kayle whisperers in here? Trying to figure out what the optimal 6 item build is.

if you get a wits end on kayle you become a hero. runaans rnashors and rageblade, or the 3 Rs, into a deathcap/wits end thing is a pretty nice build that is really hard to go wrong with. get rnashors tooth first for the cdr, and beat your opponents face in/powerfarm a rageblade. during the in between time during those two items you should finish t2 berserker boots, or if not, finish after rageblade. base it off how much move speed you really need it. then pick up the runaans for the third r and final piece of the puzzle to make your auto attacks kick rear end. wits end will make you the hero your team calls for, deathcap makes you a powerhouse. if you are not a fan of the wits end zhonyas makes you nuke harder, i have seen people rock gunblades too. there is some value in getting a tank item for your last item as well.

if you want a goku challenge build though i highly recommend gunblade ludens echo, iceborn gauntlet, blade of the ruined king, will of the ancients, and sorc shoes. not only does the CDR from all of those items top you off pretty nicely at 40% when you steal the junglers blue, but the high amount of sustain and slows will make it impossible for your foes to escape you. since this build gives you 3 range nukes that all apply a slow, and your auto attacks then apply a slow from the iceborn gauntlet, anything that gets in your range is presumably going to die unless they have a way of inflicting grievous wounds.

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

exethan posted:

this sick build i have really gets rolling after you finish your second hextech revolver and second bilgewater cutlass

the best part of playing challenge builds is seeing your teams reaction to it(unless you do bad, then you blame lag in all chat)

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

amazeballs posted:

The pie just played a game on stream against a pretty obvious scripter. Qt and his team won and afterwards the enemy team was laying on the salt in post-game chat. It's good to know the fun never ends, no matter how high your elo :v:

was it a cassio bot or did they fix those things

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Etrips posted:

I played against a cassio bot the other day. So it is definitely still around.

lmao loving riot

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

exethan posted:

you probably shouldn't ask the guy recommending 6000 gold in sustain items and instead look at posts on the previous page which had non joke builds posted

did you think that was serious..?

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

slydingdoor posted:

Seriously if you want advice on Morgana play you should be listening to this guy.

keeby my hero

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Eat Bum Zen posted:

How much time do you all actually spend practicing mechanical skills in custom games/apps in addition to playing ranked?

quite a bit, i think practicing is really important to prepare you for real games. idealy i like to spend like 5% of my time practicing, but when i rarely play that means i seldom practice. such is life.

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Lead out in cuffs posted:

Speaking of being terrible and in bronze, could I ask for some critique?

http://www.replay.gg/search/na/Leadout#2115323877
http://www.replay.gg/search/na/Leadout#2115249333

I think I kept my ADC suitably fed and watered in both, and did a fair amount of saving teammates from certain death later in the game, but I also screwed up a lot trying to save teammates from their own screwups and dying in the process. I'm also sure I'm screwing up in plenty of other ways that I'm not even aware of, so I come seeking enlightenment.

immediate thought before watching any of them(only going to watch the first one): there is a cap to CDR. i am not sure if you are aware but you can not have over 40% CDR and you have 60% CDR. this is not optimal.

early laning thoughts: in a 1v2 lane, you are playing binary(i rush in with the shield to attack! oh no, my shield is down, time to leave lane) instead of staying up in ashes grill and asking her if she has heard about jesus christ. this makes it very hard for you to get damage on her because by staying so far out of her range you are basically unable to get at her without telegraphing it 10 seconds in advance. even in the trench mmr, a janna running at someone with a shield is pretty clear bad news bears and signals the ashe to back off, so you are actually not zoning her at all with your antics. at some point around 3 mins in you could have flashed and MURDERED the ashe but backed off. you managed to get it anyway, but it was a pretty easy/free kill that you just kind of avoided because you are afraid to dive towers(..?)

but unfortunately all good things must come to an end and eventually their deadbeat bitch ekko comes back into the game and morgana takes her role as support. you have a significant level advantage, and could easily be forcing powerful trades using the incredible utility of jannas shield increasing damage and reducing damage taken, and your CC and passive utility, but instead you just kind of float around doing gently caress all until you decide it is time to fight and turn the switch on.

again, this is not actually working to your detriment here, but it is really weak laning to just sit around and wait to be healed up when you are not in any particular danger because it completely nullifies your lane presence. during one of your battle modes you pick off morgana(and gently caress up a janna tornado... aim where they are going to be, not where they are). then some poo poo goes down, you escape from a xin zhao, buy a sightstone but forget to swap your trinket out to the dewardy red thing. tsk tsk! i make the same mistake constantly and often forget trinkets exist so i can not be too harsh on you here. your lucian goes on some retarded solo mission and gets his rear end killed and you have to hold down the fort.

at this point you make a monumentally poor decision to solo fight the red buff ashe. i am not sure what went through your head but the result was an immediate and instantaneous regret. when playing support, you may be able to 1v1 the enemy adc, but not if they have more minions than you and have red buff. even if you had not tanked all of those caster minions she probably would have taken you to the hoops but it was especially egregious because there was an entire platoon of dudes ready to pounce on you when you initiated that fight. take into consideration these things. what if that ashe remembered she had ignite? you would have died out there and probably lost the lane singlehandedly off that.

during that dragon fight you could have lived if you used your ult to push ashe away and healed up. anyway you built an amplifying tome and forgot to get a pink ward. come on man! get your head in the game!! even if you have a pink ward still active in the game as a support you are not particularly limited by item slots and can feel free to pick up another one just in case the enemies clear your pink wards. you might also decide that since you are getting more control of the map that you could use a more aggressive pink ward and that your relatively passive river pink was not enough. flexibility is really useful here, and i am going to point out when your pink ward dies to point out how having that extra pink might be a pretty hot pickup.

at around 15 minutes you channeled your ult too long and died. i appreciate your candour in holding down janna ults but sometimes disengaging and dipping the gently caress out is more important than trying to get value ults off and make the best possible trades, and with your nautilus in rough shape against their entire enemy team trying to turn that fight around was a fools errand. anyway after spawning in you kind of just hosed off to go farm bot for some reason. was not a particularly good use of anybodys time, and saying "hey someone come farm this juicy wave bot" and then going mid to keep your guys from getting wrecked by the ashe would have been far more fruitful. what person would say no to free money?

at 18 minutes they killed your pink ward. "oh poo poo!" you cursed at your monitor, "now i must wait 3 seconds in the fountain to buy another one!" at 19:16 your team gets into a massive clusterfuck. you arrive to the scene at 19:24. lucian and nautilus are brutally annihilated at 19:21. i know that a good part of this is due to dillydallying but time efficiency is seriously really important in this game, and while this is a very overblown example had you had not been in fountain and been with your team the whole time you might have been able to disengage and keep it from ending disastrously. disengaging the lucian, letting him home back in as the pantheon pinches them... might have gone a little better. from a 4 for 5 loss to a 5 for 3 win.

at 20 minutes you hit 35% CDR. this is a good place for a person to say, "okay, i have a lot of CDR!" you take your large amounts of cdr and farm bot again. your whole team dies. but you get the money!! you continue building frozen heart, an item that would waste 5% of the CDR on it because you are already at 35% CDR. some poo poo goes down, then at around 23:45 your teemo starts attacking into a wind wall. it was pretty funny and i laughed at that. anyway your positioning in that fight was pretty bad, you just kind of tanked as janna and wedged yourself inbetween the enemy team for really no particular reason. you try channeling an ult while ignited before realizing the folly of your ways and hightail it out. had you been just with the lucian or the teemo you would not have had to leave and probably could have gotten off far more, but instead you had to use skills for your own survival instead of optimally protecting someone who is actually capable of doing damage. lucian pays the price for your sins and is viciously clubbed to death by ekko.

you then finish your inefficient frozen heart and work towards another CDR item, but this one is actually pretty good so i will let it slide. you take a really bizarre position in the dragon fight, not supporting but not actually zoning either, just floating around, and your indecisiveness gets your panthemyon killed and the dragon snatched from your hands. good ult at 26 minutes. you get caught out and die to a yasuo. it happens, not a lot really at fault here, just unfortunate positioning. your lucian keeps ulting into a wind wall. your team is full of dumbasses who are not familiar with what wind wall does and i love it

any way you pick up another one of those new fangled aegis things and get to work on turning it into a shield generating powerhouse. at this point you have an excess of armour, a reasonable amount of magic resist and a deficit of health. if you want to play tanky you should keep hp into consideration too. AP can actually be of use here as well, by giving yourself ap you buff up your shield. lots of resist is not terrible but without ap to make fat shields or health to make fat wind women you are still pretty frail(and resists have diminishing returns). lucian gets blown the gently caress out by an errant ashe arrow.

you have this really bad idea of support that you have to protect your ADC and at around 29 minutes you spend your time hanging out with lucian instead of protecting the warriors who are actually doing battle. lucian is just chilling under the tower. he does not need any assistance. it is okay to leave people alone to do what your heart tells you to(as long as it is not farming bot)

at 30 minutes you get out loving played by the sickest double pink ward trick i have ever seen in existance. god. drat. 10/10

then at 31 minutes you give me cancer by picking up an item that is almost primarily for CDR despite being well above the CDR cap. cut this out!! at 31 minutes you return to your favourite lane and instead of farming to push out the waves, warding over the wall to get safety in your jungle, you just hang out under tower. then when your pantheon valiantly jumps into battle you just gently caress off and leave him to die. dick move janna. so with pantheon, your main powerhouse dead, xin zhao plans a sneaky ambush to assassinate your beloved teeto -- which succeeds, taking out your secondary powerhouse. your battle with them, holding the ult, was in complete waste. what is nautilus going to do there????

at 35 minutes your team goes in, you nearly die but escape, then go back in and immediately die. your team also got wiped and you lost the game.

in conclusion throughout the entire game you showed huge patterns of indecisiveness and a disregard for the non adc members of your team which prevented you from fulfilling your job as the support role to its theoretical efficiency. furthermore, your many expenditures bot proved ultimately fruitless as janna does not do all that much with item builds and your item build was incredibly inefficient and very confusing so the money you did have was largely thrown away. some of your mechanics were spotty, but you ultimately have a decent grasp of how to play janna... just need a little refinement

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Prokhor posted:

I'm assuming you're responding to pog but you read either of those things in to it besides helpful???

to be fair my man i am pretty much a colossal prick

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

Gridlocked posted:

pog boyfriend please watch my replay of this normal game as Naut Top and tell me why I'm poo poo in the hilarious manner you did for lead out in cuffs

http://www.replay.gg/search/oce/griddead#124543219

I'm loving awful at this game and I know it so don't hold back

Edit: it's blind pick cause that's the only normal available to OCE before anyone says "play banning at least"

immediate thoughts: how the holy poo poo did teemo lose lane against a katarina that poorly? i get that he gets blown up post 6 if you choose not to get any tank items but come on, just take one point into e and auto her out of the lane every time she shows up. is teemo the support..? why is teemo supporting? no immediate problems with builds except your team is a bit overzealous with the attack speed. teemo should have more AP than he does. ideally on teemo i like to get a fast ludens echo into sorcs shoes because having the extra crunch to your autos makes you that much more formidable.

at 0:51 you buy your one item in your build and head out into lane. i understand your passion for roleplaying nautilus as a lumbering, slow moving tank but that is no reason to just hang out in fountain doing nothing for the first seconds of the game. it might seem like nothing happens during those times and you are not needed but at the start of the game using trinket wards effectively is incredibly powerful because you can scout out item builds, stop early game ganks, etc. even the mightiest of warriors would think twice about planning something foul in the jungle when they see the awe inspiring form of nautilus. to be fair their volibear is not with the plan and is just kind of hanging out being useless/a bear under the tower. :byobear:

when the lane starts you let volibear push you in for a faster lv2. you should be conscious of the fact he is doing that and take preventative measures, but when i say preventative measures i do not mean tanking the creeps like you did at around 2:15. it was not nearly a major misplay but making small lapses of "oops, these guys exist!" is a great way to throw a toplane matchup. you should always be conscious about the number of caster minions in the lane. the enemy has 3 more of them than you at this point, meaning he is going to be pushing hard. you can try to push back to keep the lane frozen under your tower, or you could ask your friend and compatriot the nocturne to come assist you in some shenanigans top lane.

as expected volibear immediately hits level 2 and tries a very rough trade on you. without abilities you are powerless to stop his mighty claws and lose basically all of your hp. in future games, if you see someone pushing out hard like that you can assume they are up to something. this is a good reason to actually not skill anything until level 1... if you had saved leveling your q and just kept the skill point floating, upon seeing volibear is up to something like that you could switch to your E first just to push back a little, or your W first and try to weather the storm of level 2 all ins. coincidentally, that volibear should be running ignite based off the way he is playing but is going teleport i guess.

your first major mistake in lane was first backing a chain vest against volibear. volibear is a very mixed damage champion, and you will find half of his damage is magic(ult, e, w) and the other half is physical(autos, q) and as a result rushing straight armour is like wearing only shinguards to a kickboxing match. anyway you teleport back into lane and start slugging it out with the guy who has a passive that heals him back to half hp if he almost dies unless you burst him as a damage over time stacking tank. this ends up working because the volibear does not have ignite, which is pretty, pretty bad considering how he plays, and also because he chose to go back in for some reason instead of waiting for his passive to heal him up. (but mostly because he built chain vest against nautilus lmao)

anyway at 8 minutes the dumbest poo poo in league of legends happens and no commentary i give to it can put into words how i felt watching that happen. to call that a misplay would be an insult to anyone who has ever misplayed because misplays involve conscious thought leading to an honest mistake and there was no thought put into what happened there. if anyone is curious as to what it is i highly recommend downloading that replay and fast forwarding until 8 minutes to check it out.

any way you go mid to roam on the katarina, do a number on her, but your kayle is not able to keep up with your dredge lines so the battle is fruitless. tragedy. what makes this really bad for you is volibear has free reign to gently caress up your poo poo while you are scheming against this poor noxus assassin lady. by some miracle, the volibear forgot you put a pink ward in the bush there and just ignores it. this makes no sense. then some poo poo goes down, you nearly kill volibear with the help of your beautiful assistant nocturne, and you both back. you reset the wave by tank clearing it. when the lane is equal, you should sense you have a pretty big advantage over the volibear and attack him. and what do you do?

YOU SHOVE THE WAVE!!! while shoving the wave might seem like a good thing to do in that scenario, in actuality if you tried to keep the lane roughly even and just started mean mugging and potentially throwing up gang signs(one can only assume that nocturne is a crip) you can intimidate the volibear away from cs to create an even greater cs lead. by shoving the wave in you give him a chance to farm under tower. if you are playing something incredibly powerful like tryndamere where you can just dive the tower and kill them shoving the wave is ok because when they die the wave you shoved dies to tower, but in your case you threw away a potential opportunity to snowball further. your hubris and greed ultimately prove to your downfall...

then volibear starts tanking the wave for some reason and you do not q him. how come? he was just tanking like 8 minions. you could have easily gave him the business. jungle graves show up, you get spooked and brew yourself some lemon tea under tower, kayle shows up, volibear gets spooked out and brews some coffee with two hazelnuts, but unlike the jungle graves the kayle just hangs out mid. did you tell her to get her angelic rear end out of top lane? you should have, if you did not. that setup was not particularly advantageous for anyone except the volibear.

anyway you come mid and volibear tps to a creep and then katarina shows up and you die. where did it go wrong?? simple. your kayle is poo poo and does absolutely gently caress all. as soon as the volibear tps, she gets spooked and runs mid frantically searching for the kettle. you tunnel vision into this, and try to kill the graves. as soon as you see the tp, your thought should be, "who has tp? oh... the volibear, who i was only slightly ahead of and i could have been more ahead of because i had an item and level advantage and i am favoured in that matchup in the midgame anyway but i chose to let farm until he was at the same power level as me", followed up by "okay, the jungle graves is really strong right now because my team is full of degenerates, i am equally as strong as this volibear, and our kayle is not doing so hot. we can not win this 2v2." followed by "where is katarina anyway? this is a bad idea. i am out." but instead it was "graves you cigar smoking piece of poo poo. i will make you pay for every one of your crime by my good name of nautilus"

after your untimely and tragic death, you almost take the top tower, but because you had yet to built a wits end your auto attacks were not nearly swift or powerful enough to destroy the tower, giving volibear in his new shiny dead mans plate time to show up. at this point you should have wondered to yourself, "why did volibear buy this item that gives him no resistance against my attacks and/or sunfire? loving idiot..." and just beat the poo poo out of him. instead you throw a weak trade down at him, realize your weak trades are really wrecking him, and instead of pulling him in and wailing on him while you had minion advantage you just let him go.

you and your lane rival go into the river for some reason to stare down a crab. this is not a good use of anybodys time. rise above the system, stop matching your lane opponents when they do retarded poo poo. if i see my lane opponent go to try to contest a crab while my jungler is there with smite i am just going to chuckle to myself as i get freefarm. anyway a river fight goes down, you get a good tp in, and take everyone to the hoops except nidalee, who then in turn takes you to the hoops. and your bot lane is sitting bot, 1v2, against ezreal, losing. caitlyn is not particularly good right now(especially compared to ezreal) but this is one hell of a sad sight.

after miraculously returning to life, you pick up a sheen and some winged boots of hermes. at this point i am basically sitting on the edge of my screen like "cmon nautilus... just... just loving kill him. he is stacking armour against a guy who only does magic damage. this is easy. this is too easy. he is handing kills to you on a silver platter." you misplay HORRENDOUSLY in the fight you have with him. you back off AFTER the bite. what are you afraid of? what is he going to do? that poo poo is not coming back for a good 15 seconds. you should have kept on him, forced a passive or a flash, and then all inned him with you had ult. but you did not. you went to clear his pink ward and let him off way too easy.

when you have a sheen and a sunfire, even if you are not using all of your abilities, just using any of them will vastly outdamage a volibear who does not have access to his bite. at the point where you are taking him to half hp from full hp and virtually being undamaged, and he has used his strong nuke ability, you should have no inhibitions and strike with the force of whatever faction nautilus belongs to in the lore. you almost make the classical top misplay of walkming next to someone under tower with sunfire but catch yourself. good job! he flips you under tower after you make a dubious all in attempt, and he gets 3 hits off on you while you retreat the tower. why not turn around and smack him once? you would lose almost zero time, but it would make the trade a lot more favourable.

anyway from this exchange you should have learned something. "i do not want to be by the tower when volibear is defending it, as his CC makes it unpleasant and easy to take tower shots even if i am just in the general vicinity as sunfire makes it possible for him to flip me into tower range and automatically make me take aggro." in response to this new information, you should realize shoving the wave is a suboptimal strategy, and stopped doing it. but you did not. more fairly speaking, you should know about any matchup with the flippers/taunters that you do not want to let them near their tower, as this makes it easy for them to outplay you. but again, you keep shoving this guy into his tower where he is free to do his thing, in a lane that you are vastly overpowering and should have free kills all of the time. if it seems repetitive how i keep bringing this up just imagine how annoying this is to watch

so you back, buy another pink ward, and debate putting it in the same contested bush you always did. then you think better of it. i am weeping tears of joy -- is this man going to put an offensive ward in their jungle to spot out people after doing wolves/blue and thinking of going mid lane or into the river? no. nautilus is putting down a defensive tribush ward. what the holy poo poo man? you won your lane! what are you afraid of happening in that tribush! you should be afraid of stuff happening in their tribush! when you are winning, you want to push your vision control up to starve their collective team zone, reducing the amount of plays they can make. that comically passive tribush ward is doing absolutely nothing as by taking his tower you extend your zone all the way into their top side jungle. you should be pushing them into their base, not backing up and protecting your t1 towers.

your team fucks around bot and gets killed, you push top, you see katarina coming but due to your wholly inadequate ward setup you are unable to spot the volibear and he kills you. your chase there is actually very poorly executed, instead of running towards weird angles to q terrain with to gain distance you just kind of flounder around in a serpentine pattern to dodge the 0 skillshots katarina and volibear have, and hug the wall making your q virtually useless in that situation. after this death you start being really, really useless. to be honest i had to fast forward through a lot of the crap because you were just running through the jungle for no reason and putting down river wards. as a fed tank nautilus with powerful items you should be doing more than nothing here. as a rule, when playing league of legends, ask yourself if the thing you are doing right now is a good use of your time. if the answer is no, find something that is a better use of your time. the next step is figuring out what your next move is as you are doing things so you can seamlessly transition from doing useful thing to useful thing and waste as little time as possible.

then at the siege at 28-ish minutes your team gets picked off over and over by a katarina. tell them to group behind the tower, waveclear, wait until all 5 are up, then jump that noxian piece of poo poo with shock and awe. with your high amount of cc, being able to pin her down and destroy her before she gets off any major cooldowns is not particularly hard, and if your team commits to murdering katarina, even if they are slightly over extended, with the amount of power concentrated on that one character you could pretty easily turn around the 5v4 and win(kayle ults caitlyn, caitlyn gets off fat autos all fight, teemo silences graves, nautilus does nautilus things.. pretty solid.) instead you guys just sit around and the more stupid of you die and you lose the siege. not good. at 29:30 your team gets the plan, kills katarina, and you go in and your team ignores you. you manage to clean it up well enough and things go okay but as a tank you should be communicating with your team better to get followup on your initiation. at 31 minutes you get caught out and die. the teleport bot was kind of stupid as well but it was no harm no foul.

anyway the fight at 33 minutes should make the pattern pretty clear -- kill katarina, win the fight.nocturne was dead so you were afraid to do baron. you drop a zzrot portal top and back. this is not particularly solid and just kind of gives the enemy team 25 gold. what ended up actually happening is you died as well. if you are not there with the zzrot portal and you are doing something that would grab attention just abandoning your portals like that is a bad idea and secondly, attracting attention top and trying to back casually like nothing happened is a very, very stupid thing to do. ultimately this was a big misplay.

at 36 minutes i was just waiting for you to go in and you did not until you chased them down the river, at which point the enemy flanked you and everything went awry. positioning in where you have teamfights matters and trying to force a fight near an entrance to the jungle is just asking for trouble. at around 38 minutes you turn up in a dragon fight and actually do pretty dang well for yourself. good on you man. you go bot after which is kind of weird, you should have went to baron(with proper warding) since katarina was down but whatever.. at 40 minutes you go back to regularly scheduled programming, nautilus walks around like a confused senior person in the jungle. you need to check this behavior and cut it out because you are wasting like 5 minutes of this 40 minute game.

at 41 minutes you go into a fight and do not use your ult and things kind of go poorly. nautilus ult shares one thing in common with fiddlesticks ult. they both have a hidden passive which applies fear to the enemy team. that is, when they see this giant target above their head they freak out and move around such as to avoid loving up their team or getting caught out, and their team moves around to clear out of the way of the nautilus knockup. in other words, anyone who freaks out is put into a state of the "fear" crowd control, where they are moving around but not doing any damage or really anything particularly important. the damage control is an effect in itself, and reducing the enemy DPS in that manner is a great way to turn around a fight. not to mention, knocking up graves or katarina is always a plus.

at 43 minutes when you return to regularly scheduled programming your team gets caught and they die and you lose the game. i am not going to pretend like it was not their fault for being in the wrong spot, but by having you, the front line tank, be in the middle of nowhere doing nothing of value, your team does not have a good chance of winning anything if they get jumped. in conclusion, you need to work on your time management, understand lane power spikes better, and learn how to apply pressure properly(both in lane and in the vision wars).


i am probably not going to do more of these because they take quite some time to do.

pog boyfriend fucked around with this message at 19:34 on Mar 6, 2016

pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

John Murdoch posted:

Volibear's W is physical damage.

i see.. the scales have been lifted from my eyes. the only option left is suicide for my horrendous mistake.

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pog boyfriend
Jul 2, 2011

for the first time ever i am going to say "time to play urgot" and my allies are not going to respond with groans and pleas for me to do anything else

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