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Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Rondette posted:

2014 was hotly anticipated by goons after some notable failures in previous years, including this unfortunate Canadian Lady in 2012 who photoshopped herself into some mountain scenes as part of her climbing preparation.



Let me give people some context about how ridiculous this image is to a local, using our old friend, Google Maps. This is Lake Louise. It's a 2 hour drive from the third busiest international airport in the country.

https://goo.gl/maps/7CxSjwWMgZu



It's easy to drive this highway, it's 4 lanes with a wide median and kept clear all year. It goes right past the lake. 10 minute drive from the highway exit ramp.

https://goo.gl/maps/uqyzT86qmJT2



Parking can be tricky because it gets really busy, but in winter there should be quite a few empty spaces.

https://goo.gl/maps/D3if2kBsNmJ2



A two-minute walk takes you to the lake.

https://goo.gl/maps/FKRfqKsKW4n



There is a huge hotel built here, and the trails around the lake are paved and wheel-chair accessible.

https://goo.gl/maps/rXku5cqYaBz



There is no reason she couldn't have at least visited some mountains before going, even to just take this picture in real life. It's a loving embarrassment. Not that the Lake Louise shoreline would have done her any good with acclimatizing to high elevations, it's only 5700' above sea level.

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Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die





No. Just really obsessed with the Canadian Rockies.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




With the number of deaths so far in N America I'm going with 18. El Niño conditions gonna gently caress poo poo up

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Faux-rear end Nonsense posted:

how did you people become like this?

I've had altitude sickness and smashed my skull on rocks. I am not well.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




shame on an IGA posted:

Kinda surprised they announced before getting back down.

I'm not, because if they didn't make it out alive, their achievement could be contested and they wouldn't be around to defend themselves.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




http://adventureblog.nationalgeogra...nt&sf21802294=1

Nat Geo is reporting that a bunch of idiots didn't listen to the Mountain God's words and we're expecting a busy season.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Yeah, places that had previously stayed frozen all year are now starting to undergo the freeze-thaw process and once stable areas are especially prone to rockfall and slides. Even though there's been a ton of frost-wedging they've never had the chance to fall before so it's like a time-bomb waiting to go off. A lot of frozen moraines are starting to melt too, which can lead to landslides. We're seeing it here in Canada, it's actually a huge problem for the Athabasca glacier walk in Jasper because the moraine they built the parking and staging area for the snow-coaches on is likely going to collapse in the near future. Not to mention the glacier itself is receding at an insane rate.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




EXTREME INSERTION posted:

Can we talk about other disasters here, or is this mostly for idiots on mountains

There's a lot of snowmobile idiots where I live, they all go out as a huge group, and usually all hit the same slope at the same time, and then you get 5 people dying when an avalanche takes everyone in the group out.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/avalanche-deaths-of-5-snowmobilers-preventable-expert-says-1.3433105

Like how hard is it to take turns so that if an avalanche occurs there's multiple people available to dig the poor fucker out of it?

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die





Bud loves his sled too much eh, shoulda just let 'er rip on 'er own

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Fuckin casual

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Alan Smithee posted:

"Geologists are baffled by the recent tectonic phenomena that occured in which Mt. Everest shifted from Nepal to Florida in order to swallow attorney Jeff Brown whole. Many are disappointed that the state of Florida was unable to issue climbing permits before it was able to return to Nepal"

http://www.brownanddoherty.com/terrorism-wins-day-22.php

Dude actually calls it terrorism . Of course he's from Florida

What a shitlord.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Rondette posted:

Behold, the lav!



They're gonna carry all the poo poo back from base camp, on a Yak. So...that's nice, I guess!

Wow, this is the wimpiest thing I've ever seen on a mountain.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




First Canadian of mixed Polish and Irish descent with lactose intolerance and one second toe longer than a big toe on the right foot and a weird mole on her stomach to summit Everest.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Beastie posted:

This is pretty rad though:



This was taken from base camp yesterday

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




One Sherpa should be valued as two or three rich assholes because they actually have some worth in all this.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




So Everest has been open for what, a week? And already 3 dead tourists. If this was a real themepark it would be shut down already.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Snapchat guys appear to be bringing their poo poo off the mountain because they complained no one else was and they were forced to wait for water to boil for an hour before having coffee. Which reminded me of this cool video about boil temperatures at altitude:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTL4dj3Gx1o:

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




My life wish is to not die on Everest, it's too trendy.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




simplefish posted:

Everest thread gangtag pls, 'Heroes In Waiting'

Dude, I would be all over this if it was a thing because it's just a matter of time before I actually manage to die on a mountain considering some of my close calls.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Not photoshopped, I've seen that myself plus the sky rays that come to that point known as anticrepuscular rays. Not the term you're looking for probs but I posted anyway

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




When I had my accident, the police questioned me and my husband separately to make sure he didn't push me off the cliff.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




pr0zac posted:

Did he? Or wait is he a goon too?

No and no, thankfully. I'm just an idiot and he's not.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




We have a local version of the seven summits called the 11.000ers. While they're not high compared to the rest of the planet, their latitude makes them formidable as the tree line is at much lower altitude and it's all very young, craggy peaks from the really recently ended ice age. The good thing about them is that even thought they're true glaciated mountaineering summits, you can at least fuckin breathe when you get to the top.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die





So was every person who's played their character on Second Life for 10+ years, doesn't mean they deserve accolades.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Look where I was today.






Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Alan Smithee posted:

why did she choose that as a bg again?

I don't know but it has to be the easiest alpine lake to visit in the world. You can get a shuttle from an international airport 2 hours away.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




At the time I wasn't really thinking about it, I was taking photos that showed what it's 'really like' in addition to the pretty shots.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Apparently people climb Mt. Robson in Canada to condition for Everest, so I've heard.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




This faked Everest is awesome, here they are part way up:



Here she is on the summit:



They even changed into different boots on the summit!



First full gear swap on Everest!

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Outrail posted:

That guy photoshopped himself into her picture and removed the flag. Disgusting.

I'm impressed with how well he was able to enhance that jpeg, he must have learned it from CSI or something

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




redreader posted:

Different people are affected differently. A line wouldn't really help

If they can put signs on trails here telling people they might have to use their hands AND feet to go up a mountain the least they can do is stick a sign on Everest at 26,000' saying "Welcome to the DEATH ZONE"

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Do you think Everest recruits other mountains to do its dirty work? There's been a few deaths this year in our mountains, maybe Everest made them do it.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Altitude sickness can happen when you ascend too quickly, I got it at 9000', because I was at 3200' only a couple hours earlier, drove to 8000' then pushed hard for a summit. It's suggested to go up less than 1600' per day to completely avoid risk***.




***Does not apply in the death zone.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Josef K. Sourdust posted:

So, thread, what about the new neighborhood?

It was inevitable, I was just waiting for it to show up here.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




If this is the meanest thread these folks have seen on Something Awful, they probably haven't been lurking enough.

I almost feel obliged to take part in this thread, what with coming within inches of my life on a mountain. I know first hand how much these peaks want to murder us, I think I offer a unique insider's perspective.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die





This is copy/pasted from the thread last year, it's not a "I got swept up in an avalanche and broke literally every bone and crawled 50 miles using only my teeth" level intense, but it was still incredibly close and I'm lucky to be alive.

I was on my way down from a fairly easy peak called East End of Rundle in the Canadian Rockies, and there was a thunderstorm approaching when I was still above treeline. I was trying to get back into the trees quickly at least before it hit because lightning is a major concern out in the open. There was a section of trail that traversed a cliff band that wasn't difficult at all, it was straight and flat, but it was a cliff band. Steep drop off on the left. There was a great view of a lake valley ahead of me and I was paying more attention to it than my feet. I was with my husband, who was walking ahead of me telling me a story about work. Just as he turned around to make some hand gestures, I strayed enough off the path that my foot stepped on the edge of the path and it crumbled away. I pretty much fell headfirst over the side of the cliff. I remember just saying fairly calmly "oh my god" and then a bunch of blurry moments as I tumbled head over heels down a rocky face. It was only 15 feet, but it felt a lot farther and longer than that.

When I stopped on a small ledge, I had lost my glasses, I was on my belly with my backpack pulled up over my head, and underneath a few big rocks. I still had my hiking poles strapped to my hands, which actually made things worse as I couldn't grab for anything to stop my fall. I was actually pretty calm. I heard my husband saying he was coming down to help me, and I gave instructions on what to do to help me sort myself out. "Take the poles off, move this rock pinning my shoulder and head, take off my pack, help me sit against the rocks over there."I asked if my glasses broke, but he had found them, and they were in tact aside from a couple scratches and chips. When I put them on and sat facing out over the valley, I saw where I was and loving froze. I was on a small ledge overlooking a 500 foot drop, and my feet had been hanging out over it. There was 100% no way I would have survived if I had gone over. I would have splattered.

I was pretty injured, but nothing broken. I had a huge gash in my head that soaked half my hair, half my face, and a bunch of my shirt in blood, and nearly every inch of me was scraped and/or bruised and/or cut. My right knee couldn't bend at all. My husband tried to get me to stand up to attempt to walk the rest of the way down but between the injuries and fear, I didn't feel like I could do it at all. There were a few places below where I would have to downclimb exposed rock faces. It would have been immensely dangerous, so we called for a rescue. A helicopter showed up to scope out the situation, and they decided that a heli-sling was the only safe option. The lowered a two-man team down, fitted me with a neckbrace, and strapped me onto a spineboard. Hooked me up to a cable hanging underneath the helicopter, and flew me to a nearby waiting ambulance. I was lowered onto a stretcher, and put into the back of the vehicle with a group of 4 guys. They tried for 20 minutes to get an IV in, but I was in shock and my veins were all shriveled up. Took all 4 on both arms to finally get it. They had gone back to get my husband, and he was waiting the whole time freaking out that something was seriously wrong in our car, which was at the same place as the ambulance was parked. When they finally managed to get the IV in, we raced into the closest town to the hospital.

I ended up with 10 stitches in my head, and another three in my leg where a rock had stabbed my shin. Because it's Canada, the entire rescue cost $25.00. There was a short newspaper article written about me, with one of the rescuers saying that "one more bounce and the fall would have been fatal."

When I was sitting on the ledge, I vowed to never summit another peak ever again. The next day, I figured that I probably would again, just not this year. A few days after that, I couldn't wait to start going again. It took 4 weeks to recover and feel normal again. 5 weeks after my fall, I was back on a summit. I just really love it, I couldn't stop. I ended up with a few big scars on my legs, my left knuckles that had been completely skinned off, and the one on my head which is like 2 or 3 inches long. One of these days I should shave my head just so I can see that bastard. It's raised up pretty far too.

HairyManling posted:

Same. I actually didn't even know this forum existed. Is there a fishing thread?!

Hell yeah, it's called "Post a Fish!" and is currently our most popular thread.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Not really winter, but there is a couple of Americans headed for Cho-Oyu right now, which is the 6th highest mountain at 8200m. You can follow them on Snapchat! It's the same account as has been posted before: EverestNoFilter. They're actually pretty cool and their exploits are impressive. They show a lot of their training too and they often trail run a lot of California summits.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




elwood posted:

During the day? None. All Merino.

You done good, kid

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




http://calgaryherald.com/news/local-news/skier-dies-in-avalanche-on-mount-victoria-near-lake-louise

This guy was very well known to a lot of people here, in fact he was friends with one of my friends from school. Before he was identified, I was honestly worried it WAS my friend and I was scouring Facebook and Instagram for any indication that my friend was okay.

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Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




One of my friends knew her too. It's been a lovely year.

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