I am going to use my engineering skills to build a new sort of computer.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > I am going to use my engineering skills to build a new sort of computer.

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

i am going to build a new sort of computer: a very sexy computer that will do sex to me

it will have many good programs, like the one that can control a blender to mix up big batches of sterile veterinary lubricant and also a program to dispense a proper amount of this lubricant on different sex toys

also the computer will have many robot arms than can offer hugs or hold and move the lubricated sex toys on my body to provide physical stimulation

so sex can wait... until i invent a very sexy computer

# ? Feb 5, 2016 08:26

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 20, 2024 04:11

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

tonight I put bread in the toaster and toasted the gently caress out of it before I buttered that sucker and shoveled it into my mouth with my grubby fingers

# ? Feb 5, 2016 08:32

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

gobble that poo poo my conscience said

# ? Feb 5, 2016 08:33

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

# ? Feb 5, 2016 08:34

weak wrists big dick: Dec 18, 2012; good job. you are getting legitametly upset because I won't confrom to your secret internet cliques gross social standards. Sorry I don't like anime. Sorry I don't like being gross on the internet. Sorry that you are getting caremad.

your stupid shit internet argument is also only half true once I get probated, so checkmate anyways but nice try.

]

where's the kicckstarter?????

# ? Feb 5, 2016 16:06

Silver Alicorn: Mar 30, 2008; 𝓪 𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓹𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓪 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YEdHjGMeho

# ? Feb 5, 2016 19:31

big scary monsters: Sep 2, 2011; -~Ｓｋｕｌｌｗａｖｅ~-

good luck, op

# ? Feb 5, 2016 20:00

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

echinopsis posted:

tonight I put bread in the toaster and toasted the gently caress out of it before I buttered that sucker and shoveled it into my mouth with my grubby fingers

this is the story of the time a girl came over to my house and found a jug of j lube and some rope in the kitchen closet

so let's just skip to the end of the story, it's after dinner and i'm washing the dishes and she kind of slides over and starts helping me wash the dishes in what seems to be a fairly flirty way but i was out of dish soap in the sink dispenser so i asked her to go find the soap in the kitchen closet

i hear her of laughing and then she comes back holding a bottle of powdered lube and a length of some fairly stout rope that i forgot were in the closet and she gives me a goofy look. so i put the dishes down and ask her if she'd like to have some fun. she goes red in the face and then nods in a way i suppose was trying to be seductive

so i get the lube dissolving while i finish the washing up and then i ask her to go outside with me because i don't want to make a mess in the house. she's clearly getting nervous when i bring out a shallow kiddie pool and start mixing the dissolved lube with some water and dish soap. then i produce the rope which i have tied in a big loop. i tell her to stand next to the kiddie pool and she seems really anxious and then in one quick motion to keep the loop taut i dunk the rope in the kiddie pool and make a huge bubble and pull it over her head and down to to her feet

she is so surprised she just starts giggling like a little kid and then we make big bubbles for like half an hour

# ? Feb 5, 2016 20:34

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

sick

# ? Feb 5, 2016 20:41

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

well, what can i say?

i'm a bigtime fan of bigtime bubbles

# ? Feb 6, 2016 02:29

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

the first person to invent a real sexy computer will be a trillionaire

# ? Feb 6, 2016 03:16

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

but it has to work for both men and women

# ? Feb 6, 2016 03:17

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

The Management posted:

the first person to invent a real sexy computer will be a trillionaire

well, this is my plan

# ? Feb 6, 2016 03:18

Linux Pirate: Apr 21, 2012

echinopsis posted:

tonight I put bread in the toaster and toasted the gently caress out of it before I buttered that sucker and shoveled it into my mouth with my grubby fingers

this is a good story

# ? Feb 6, 2016 03:33

suffix: Jul 27, 2013; Wheeee!

angry_keebler posted:

this is the story of the time a girl came over to my house and found a jug of j lube and some rope in the kitchen closet

so let's just skip to the end of the story, it's after dinner and i'm washing the dishes and she kind of slides over and starts helping me wash the dishes in what seems to be a fairly flirty way but i was out of dish soap in the sink dispenser so i asked her to go find the soap in the kitchen closet

i hear her of laughing and then she comes back holding a bottle of powdered lube and a length of some fairly stout rope that i forgot were in the closet and she gives me a goofy look. so i put the dishes down and ask her if she'd like to have some fun. she goes red in the face and then nods in a way i suppose was trying to be seductive

so i get the lube dissolving while i finish the washing up and then i ask her to go outside with me because i don't want to make a mess in the house. she's clearly getting nervous when i bring out a shallow kiddie pool and start mixing the dissolved lube with some water and dish soap. then i produce the rope which i have tied in a big loop. i tell her to stand next to the kiddie pool and she seems really anxious and then in one quick motion to keep the loop taut i dunk the rope in the kiddie pool and make a huge bubble and pull it over her head and down to to her feet

she is so surprised she just starts giggling like a little kid and then we make big bubbles for like half an hour

can you make a computer that will do this with me

# ? Feb 6, 2016 03:47

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

suffix posted:

can you make a computer that will do this with me

yes i can use my engineering skills to make a bubble computer

in fact it is not even as hard to make as a sexy computer

# ? Feb 6, 2016 05:58

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 20, 2024 04:11

Arcteryx Anarchist: Sep 15, 2007; Fun Shoe

Silver Alicorn posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YEdHjGMeho

this is an invention some zany inventor would have in his house in a movie and it would be great for the character and plot

irl it seems really depressing

# ? Feb 6, 2016 06:53

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > I am going to use my engineering skills to build a new sort of computer.