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Look, we have way way different styles. It would be like a Kayne trying to tell Phillip Glass how to write a song.my advice to you is to listen to your critics. Not your friends. People in showbiz are super insecure and unless you have an actual understanding with them. You will rarely hear the whole truth. Instead, show them something and say "something isn't right with this, can you spot it. And they will go through it with a tooth comb to find what's up. The other advice is to think like your audience. Now this is where I get a bit spotty because my comedy is kinda niche. You are writing broad but with a specific audience. So browse the writing threads. Get a feel for what people like and try and fit your style to it. Not copy, but fit. One thing about writers live livestock and Zach. You can spot their writing a mile away. Develop that style and make it your own. My last piece of lovely advice is read over the last 6 months of articles and find what's missing. Surprise us, draw us in. Create a character like Levi, roamin' dad or Jeff K. Build a world like blue stripe or the water fountain blog. Challenge yourself to really create. Instead of just checking a list.
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# ? Dec 16, 2016 23:54 |
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# ? Apr 24, 2024 12:41 |
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Aubergine Mage posted:We're giving you advice right now dude, not making GBS threads on you. The boats might work anywhere else, but here, they get savaged. Maybe you just need to change up your writing and focus more on long-form stuff and see how it does. They don't get savaged on the actual internet, though -- they were featured on the front page of the huffington post! They've drawn tens of thousands of hits. But in this thread, they're get poo poo on. So I can poo poo on people back, which I did. I can genuinely admit that I haven't always done the best job, and offer an open call to any writer who wants to step up, which I did. Or I can just kinda talk about it normally which I'm doing now. Or I can split. Like, honestly, I'm realizing that maybe I should just split. There's a little ecosystem here of people who kinda get off on dumping on my work. They can't wait for me to gently caress up so they can make jokes about how someone should have aborted president baby. Maybe I'm being a spoilsport by showing up here. Like, gently caress, maybe it's kinda rude to show my face in a thread called "President Baby needs to stop."
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# ? Dec 16, 2016 23:55 |
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Lonos Oboe posted:Look, we have way way different styles. It would be like a Kayne trying to tell Phillip Glass how to write a song.my advice to you is to listen to your critics. Not your friends. People in showbiz are super insecure and unless you have an actual understanding with them. You will rarely hear the whole truth. Instead, show them something and say "something isn't right with this, can you spot it. And they will go through it with a tooth comb to find what's up. The other advice is to think like your audience. Now this is where I get a bit spotty because my comedy is kinda niche. You are writing broad but with a specific audience. So browse the writing threads. Get a feel for what people like and try and fit your style to it. Not copy, but fit. One thing about writers live livestock and Zach. You can spot their writing a mile away. Develop that style and make it your own. My last piece of lovely advice is read over the last 6 months of articles and find what's missing. Surprise us, draw us in. Create a character like Levi, roamin' dad or Jeff K. Build a world like blue stripe or the water fountain blog. Challenge yourself to really create. Instead of just checking a list. That last piece of advice is pretty good! I haven't really examined my work on the whole in a while -- I keep swinging from deadline to deadline. It would be nice to kinda figure out what I haven't explored and press on those buttons a bit.
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# ? Dec 16, 2016 23:56 |
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Lonos Oboe posted:Look, we have way way different styles. It would be like a Kayne trying to tell Phillip Glass how to write a song.my advice to you is to listen to your critics. Not your friends. People in showbiz are super insecure and unless you have an actual understanding with them. You will rarely hear the whole truth. Instead, show them something and say "something isn't right with this, can you spot it. And they will go through it with a tooth comb to find what's up. The other advice is to think like your audience. Now this is where I get a bit spotty because my comedy is kinda niche. You are writing broad but with a specific audience. So browse the writing threads. Get a feel for what people like and try and fit your style to it. Not copy, but fit. One thing about writers live livestock and Zach. You can spot their writing a mile away. Develop that style and make it your own. My last piece of lovely advice is read over the last 6 months of articles and find what's missing. Surprise us, draw us in. Create a character like Levi, roamin' dad or Jeff K. Build a world like blue stripe or the water fountain blog. Challenge yourself to really create. Instead of just checking a list. Said it way better than I could have. Asterios posted:They don't get savaged on the actual internet, though -- they were featured on the front page of the huffington post! They've drawn tens of thousands of hits. I think you're missing the point. SA has always had a different voice than the rest of the internet. We want stuff like Blue Stripe, Shaggy Butte, things like that. Stuff that gets popular on the rest of the internet generally doesn't work for goons. Edit: LO said all that stuff way better than I could've, so listen to him, he's got good advice.
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# ? Dec 16, 2016 23:58 |
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Asterios posted:They don't get savaged on the actual internet, though -- they were featured on the front page of the huffington post! They've drawn tens of thousands of hits. See man, this is exactly what I mean. "It did great on the REAL Internet, you guys are just loving plebs" Just sit back and think about it. If you were generalised as part of a group like that. Would you not get defensive? You need to respect ALL your audience. A comedian might bomb in a certain part of town. The dumb assholes might say. "They don't know what comedy it out there in bumble gently caress." The smart ones go to comedy clubs in bumble gently caress, find out what they do find funny and work it in. They don't take their ball and go home. You are admitting failure dude. And call it what you like, but if you chuck it in here because we don't "get your art" then you are not cut out for professional comedy my friend.
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 00:01 |
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Asterios posted:That last piece of advice is pretty good! I haven't really examined my work on the whole in a while -- I keep swinging from deadline to deadline. It would be nice to kinda figure out what I haven't explored and press on those buttons a bit. Not your work. That's just wanking. Read EVERYONE
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 00:02 |
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Asterios posted:OK, teach me a lesson about my writing. Bring it. I'm listening. I write some stuff as well. Nothing noteworthy, certainly not anything I'm particularly proud of having written. I find opportunities to let my creativity go wild, and see what happens. Here's the most important thing I've learned about writing. Critics are precious. In my view, there are three kinds of people who provide feedback to a creative work, in descending order of commonality:
It's easy to find people who liked your poo poo. Call your mom, or check your quantity of likes on Facebook. You'll also get a few people who tell you that you loving suck. As long as these people aren't too perilously numerous to the point that you're starting to question your abilities, they can be tuned out. The third type of feedback providers -- critics -- are rare and valuable. It takes no effort to tell someone that you loved their poo poo, and only a little to tell them to take their work and shove it up their rear end. The people who are willing to tell you where you hosed up and how you can improve have expended a lot of time and effort, both reading your work, reading other similar works, and picking your work apart. They spent even more time and effort reaching out to you. Don't ever dismiss critics out of hand, and don't ever hide behind the masses of people who either liked your work or were too polite to tell you that it sucked. If you do, you'll find out someday that you've run out of people to hide behind, and have no idea why. How does this apply to you? When people tell you that your burlesque dancer name article was too short and seemed like it was thrown together over the course of 15 minutes, think about how you could make it longer; don't just pretend that the critics have never created anything. When people tell you that your tombstone article or boat article or whatever looked lovely, take a look at a few other similar photoshop comedy works (I hear SomethingAwful makes a lot of those) and maybe read up on how to improve your composition, maybe make things look less obviously like photoshops. When people tell you they think you could have done better, think about how you could have done better, don't just pretend you don't have the loving time to.
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 00:03 |
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Aubergine Mage posted:Said it way better than I could have. I guess I'm just not aiming my material at goons. I'm looking to make a shitload of money for Lowtax and rake in a shitload of exposure for SA, and I can't get that by targeting just the people who use one forum. Like, maybe this is just the fundamental disconnect, and I should just kinda give up on my writing connecting with the people in this thread. Like, I'm not targeting you -- and if someone wasn't targeting me, gently caress, I would be equally pissed. I'd be like, "Hey, where's the thing I like?"
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 00:03 |
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Lonos Oboe posted:One thing about writers live livestock and Zach. You can spot their writing a mile away. Develop that style and make it your own. Are you saying that Asterios should grow his personal brand?
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 00:05 |
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Pittsburgh Lambic posted:How does this apply to you? When people tell you that your burlesque dancer name article was too short and seemed like it was thrown together over the course of 15 minutes, think about how you could make it longer; don't just pretend that the critics have never created anything. I literally apologized for that article being bad, and offered up my spot to a new voice. People chose to interpret poorly and it's all been downhill since then. The rest of your advice is awesome!
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 00:07 |
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Pittsburgh Lambic posted:Are you saying that Asterios should grow his personal brand? Great advice and yes. He should do everything listed in that article. I am sure low tax wrote similar stuff. Read those too. And lift while you are doing it. How do you expect to write if you can't hold a girl and a German Shepard at the same time?
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 00:12 |
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Further advice: if you really, genuinely want to do tombstone and boat articles, then consider dedicating some actual, serious time to both figuring out how to integrate text and images with your source stock photos, and to actually putting together your joke images. They look like they were slapped together in MS Paint in twenty minutes and that's probably a big factor on why people poo poo on it. And maybe consider how to elevate your punchlines while you're at it? Ten variations on "heh, creeps own boats" or "burlesque dancers crave attention" are boring and unfunny, while "bring back Tony Shalhoub" on the sails of an expensive yacht is a weird, funny non sequitur that works for this site.
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 00:22 |
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Asterios posted:I guess I'm just not aiming my material at goons. I'm looking to make a shitload of money for Lowtax and rake in a shitload of exposure for SA, and I can't get that by targeting just the people who use one forum. I honestly think this is a bit of the problem; goons can be pretty loving elitist, and they don't want THEIR SITE marred by poo poo Reddit will make 20 threads of 'LITERALLY MFW' over. To me, your articles are pretty hit or miss. Whoever compared them to MAD magazine articles was pretty spot on, but that generally just hasn't been the kind of humor Something Awful has had in the past. I honestly just feel like the majority of your articles have no personality to them. They're jokes for the sake of being jokes; there's no commentary, nothing to ground them or make them more than an imgur dump of funny pictures. They lack punch or, in some cases, self-awareness. I'd look at BobServo's stuff and maybe chat with him a bit; he started fairly shaky in my opinion but he's done pretty well and has become a seriously funny dude, and he honestly feels like he falls between you and Zack in terms of articles. He can pull off the content farm poo poo (and even made a joke about such earlier this week) but he also can keep his articles self-aware to keep them funny and not just 'oh, I get it, he's pretending to be this, cute.' There's also an assumed level of effort on your part when you do lists and short picture articles, even if it's wholly inaccurate; yeah, I personally know photo-shopping and editing a picture to be just right can take a long time, but it's a much more compact and effortless bit of content to chew through, so it's very easy to assume it took almost no time to slap together. I mean, there's goons on here who will just absolutely drown threads with hilarious photo manipulations and jokes in a day's span, and that's something you gotta go up against. Compare that to even your article on Palpatine and you can see where people would think not as much effort was made on one versus the other; the same goes for the article versus Zack's, since his was a bit more complicated and involved. I don't expect you to change completely to suit the moods of a handful of goons, but that's honestly how I view the issues here; people are assuming you have a lower level of involvement with your work, and just aren't used to or don't want 'lol funny pictures' as something you're paid for on the front page. But hell, if Lowtax's checks are clearing, then he's probably cool with it.
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 01:06 |
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A lot of people typing a lot of great stuff in this thread.
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 01:24 |
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Asterios posted:Eh, but comedy's too much fun! Knowing where you're coming from is really humanizing and I get it. If some articles seem rushed (the infamous lists of names), then heck with your schedule they probably were, but it's admirable that you're still getting them up in time, let alone at all. I don't write so I don't know how it goes, but if you are doing so much it may be of some use to step back from time to time and re-evaluate and find that new angle, as it's been suggested. Like the Dad Jones Index, a list, is actually a pretty silly idea. I like when you write in a more narrative style, like the Palpatine article, my only problem with that one is that I'm just tired of hearing of Trump in any fashion, but that's more to do with me than anything else. Anyway it's cool that you're engaging and trying and even if your and the site's goals won't align with our own expectations that's fine as long as you continue to grow as a writer and a comedian.
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 01:41 |
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Man, this went from hate thread to great thread in a hurry! Asterios, I don't read your articles anymore. I used to, even though I found them hit or miss. One day, I read an article that was about wrestlers, I think. I got to this sentence...Ariong posted:It's pronounced V-A-P-E, though, so make sure to listen for that slight different in pronunciation! ...and I could not parse it. No matter how many times I read it, I could not derive any sort of meaning from that sentence. I still can't, in fact. It's one thing to overlook a grammar error or spelling mistake, I thought, it's another to print a line of actual gibberish. It was then I decided that if Asterios can't be bothered to proofread his articles, then I can't be bothered to read them. I felt pretty confident in that decision back when you were just deflecting criticism, but now that you're opening up and responding earnestly, I'm not so sure. Now I think that that article was the result of high pressure and low time, a forgivable offense. I'm going to start reading again. I'm not a comedy writer or anything, but I hope this was helpful somehow.
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 02:35 |
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Ariong posted:Man, this went from hate thread to great thread in a hurry! Asterios, I don't read your articles anymore. I used to, even though I found them hit or miss. One day, I read an article that was about wrestlers, I think. I got to this sentence... This brings up an important point about how criticism works, particularly with regards to criticism of poo poo you post on the internet. The harshest feedback a creator receives is silence. Most people who read something on the internet and find it to be poor or mediocre won't tell you so: They'll just mutter "this sucks" to themselves and read something else. Ariong here is an example of that: A reader whose enjoyment was disrupted by a grammatical error and wasn't able to get his focus back, so he just stopped reading and chose to spend time reading stuff other than your articles in the future. This is why you have to listen to your critics. Most people won't tell you that your work sucks, unless it really sucks, in which case everybody will tell you because it's fun to join into a crowd of people mocking something objectively terrible. If your work is mediocre, it'll simply die silently, with a few likes and polite nods of approval but no other feedback to speak of. The exception to this is your critics.
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 03:42 |
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We're posting in the president baby needs to stop thread because it's the most active one, only the op named it dude. I'm glad you actually seem to be listening rather than just saying you're listening now. Like others have said, we wouldn't be posting if we didn't give a poo poo. In the other thread I even apologised for my initial tone and still got poo poo on. Anyway, I know you've said how crazy your life is now and how you're writing SA for the love of it, but something that stuck out for me is where you said you weren't proud of some of your pieces. I know deadlines happen, but personally if I'm not proud of one of my pieces, I don't perform it. Have some respect for the audience man. If clickthroughs are all you're interested in then fine, but if you want people to stay here then respect the artform. Also, if you want people to stay here, maybe don't tell them forum users are lovely losers who you aren't playing to.
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 07:38 |
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I liked the part of this last article where
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 18:45 |
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There were a shitload of great notes in this thread -- it'd been a while since I could kinda slow down and examine my writing process and output. I've been running really hard at live since a horrific divorce, and these tips will be helpful in going from a "staying above water" mode to a "thoughtful output mode" again. Thanks to those of you who gave enough of a poo poo to try and help a fellow writer out.
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 21:27 |
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Asterios posted:Thanks to those of you who gave enough of a poo poo to try and help a fellow writer out. No problem buddy looking forward to seeing the new stuff
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 21:31 |
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Capntastic posted:No problem buddy looking forward to seeing the new stuff Ditto
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# ? Dec 17, 2016 22:16 |
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I love a good comeback story. Don't gently caress it up.
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# ? Dec 18, 2016 02:30 |
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I said in the other thread but I do honestly think you've written some good stuff for the front page, which I'd love to see more of.
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# ? Dec 18, 2016 05:37 |
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Davoren posted:I said in the other thread but I do honestly think you've written some good stuff for the front page, which I'd love to see more of. Thanks, dude. Yeah, sometimes I like the pieces, sometimes I don't. It's like, with a column, it's not published because it's ready, it's published because it's monday.
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# ? Dec 18, 2016 06:43 |
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I went to the front page and clicked on your name to find an example of an article I did like, and I had no idea that you made The Dad Jones Index. I really liked that one.
Ariong fucked around with this message at 03:40 on Dec 19, 2016 |
# ? Dec 19, 2016 03:38 |
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President Baby needs to stop being so gosh danged hard on himself!
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# ? Dec 19, 2016 05:57 |
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Ariong posted:I went to the front page and clicked on your name to find an example of an article I did like, and I had no idea that you made The Dad Jones Index. I really liked that one. oh thanks man! i've been doing dad jones for a few years. it's not super popular but my friend amanda always freaks out when i post them, and my sister also likes them because it's pretty much just jokes about our dad. i wanna do like, two of those a year.
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# ? Dec 19, 2016 06:59 |
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I don't have a super strong stance on the articles, but, I think people maybe have been hard on you Asterios / Baby Pres, though maybe fairly. However, the best honest advice I can give is not to try so hard or to work or defend yourself over your clickbait material and getting likes or making a paycheck for Lowtax. Don't use that as an excuse. As a writer, make the best / funniest/ enjoyable articles you can. The clicks, likes, and whatnot will come, or not, but aiming at making something that you and your audience will like and seeing if the clicks come in is a much better goal then aiming for the clicks and writing the article around that, and hoping for the best.
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# ? Dec 19, 2016 16:00 |
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Twenty Four posted:I don't have a super strong stance on the articles, but, I think people maybe have been hard on you Asterios / Baby Pres, though maybe fairly. However, the best honest advice I can give is not to try so hard or to work or defend yourself over your clickbait material and getting likes or making a paycheck for Lowtax. Don't use that as an excuse. As a writer, make the best / funniest/ enjoyable articles you can. The clicks, likes, and whatnot will come, or not, but aiming at making something that you and your audience will like and seeing if the clicks come in is a much better goal then aiming for the clicks and writing the article around that, and hoping for the best. I don't think I'm doing clickbait, though. Clickbait is "X Celebs Who Had A Wardrobe Malfunction." I'm trying to write timely, relevant headlines that people can connect to in the moments they're looking at their phone because they're bored at the DMV, or they're on a long train ride or something. Like, what's an example of something I've written that you think is pure clickbait? I'm not asking this to be an rear end in a top hat, I wanna know where this idea comes from because -- well, gently caress -- if I am writing pure clickbait and I don't even know it, I should probably stop.
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# ? Dec 19, 2016 17:05 |
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Asterios posted:calling relevant headline driven essays "clickbait" or calling graphical content "lazy." It's 2016. I'm trying to drive traffic using formats that work best on facebook mobile and reddit. I didn't say it, you did. Or you at least quoted around it. And hey, whatever, I'm okay with you, don't get me wrong! But if you want an example, because you asked, "The new Star Wars movie just came out and Donald Trump is controversial" definately rides that line. And I still think that is okay. Current events make for great comedy! Tons of people will do it though, so I guess that is why it gets the "clickbait" label. My best constructive advice, though, again, is to write something funny, and if you get the hits and the likes, great. Don't write for the hits and likes and hope people will find it funny.
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# ? Dec 19, 2016 19:34 |
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Twenty Four posted:I didn't say it, you did. Or you at least quoted around it. And hey, whatever, I'm okay with you, don't get me wrong! But if you want an example, because you asked, "The new Star Wars movie just came out and Donald Trump is controversial" definately rides that line. And I still think that is okay. Current events make for great comedy! Tons of people will do it though, so I guess that is why it gets the "clickbait" label. Ahhhhhhhh -- yeah! No we're on the same page. Like, Zack is just so good at figuring out what people are talking about, then writing a thing around it. I'm really loving jealous.
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# ? Dec 19, 2016 20:08 |
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You were doing so well, I am so happy to see this thread turn around. We can argue day and night about the definition of clickbait. The front page is often topical. So you could argue almost everything is clickbait. What I believe people mean is that easy comedy. I keep going back to family guy. They go for the easiest jokes and the most low hanging fruit. Your Palpatine article is not technically clickbait, you did go for what felt like the most obvious jokes. And while I did not find the article funny because it was too obvious and beating it over the head. It is a very funny concept. Maybe if it was written as a galactic news report. Like the Mos Eisly post trying to be supportive of him. "While Sandpeople march in single file to hide their numbers, our storm troopers form a gigantic line, sometimes miles across! Our new leader hides nothing, including his previous friendship with sepratist leader Count Dooku. Who was murdered while unarmed at the hands of Jedi. And as for the questions about the new name for our republic troopers. We decided to rename them to honour the fact that they will fight in any weather without complaint. And for those of you worrying about diversity in our new galactic empire. Know that the emperor has hired a large amount of white humans to take up major positions. The Galaxy is sure a brighter place with all that diverse white skin!" What I am trying for (and likely failing at) here is Star Wars comedy and slightly subtle jabs at Trump. You could go further and say that he will reopen the spice mines on Kessel and everyone will be back at work within 15 years. It's building a world and a point of view based on a character in the SW universe. Unaware that Trump exists. It's funny, because we are in on the joke. Zach is a master at this. As I mentioned earlier, comedy is totally subjective and while what I am talking about feels like something you should have aimed for, in your article it could be exactly what you wanted to write. For me, it lacked focus and felt easy. (even though I am sure it wasn't) For the record and I stated this earlier. I did not like Zach's article. It was one funny joke repeated a few times. Zach is an incredible writer and as you said, is worth listening to. You don't write clickbait dude. But on SA is feels like clickbait. It's your terse structure. It feels very old school lowtax. Which was hysterical back in the day. But is kinda cringe nowadays. Look dude, don't worry about it. Because you are not writing this poo poo any more. I will give you a quick personal story: about 6 years ago a hard drive shat itself to death on me and I lost years of work. Short film stuff, illustrations, scripts, photos you name it. About 8 years of work down the Swanee. I then decided after all that, that I was free of that old poo poo and could start fresh. I built a new portfolio in about 2 months and was back chasing work and doing better than ever. Take from that story what you want. Lonos Oboe fucked around with this message at 12:00 on Dec 20, 2016 |
# ? Dec 20, 2016 11:17 |
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Lonos Oboe posted:They go for the easiest jokes and the most low hanging fruit. Your Palpatine article is not technically clickbait, you did go for what felt like the most obvious jokes. And while I did not find the article funny because it was too obvious and beating it over the head. I dunno, man! I haven't seen anyone parody the alt-right's "everything is gonna be fine" mantra yet. If you've got an example, I'm open to it. It's so weird how the alt-right just assume President Trump is gonna be fine, and that liberals are worrying about nothing. It's like they're on the deck of the Titanic and they're worrying why everybody is getting so worked up about these lifeboats. That's what I'm parodying -- the legion of Facebook posts I'm seeing from my friends in the alt-right wondering why liberals are so stressed out.
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 18:16 |
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Asterios posted:I dunno, man! I haven't seen anyone parody the alt-right's "everything is gonna be fine" mantra yet. If you've got an example, I'm open to it. Hey, I call it like I see it. As I mentioned several times. I am no expert of comedy. You mentioned in the article that it was a faux kinda Facebook post. You can have fun with that. Have Darth Vader white knighting him even though he did all that nasty poo poo to him. Chewie could post dog memes (or wookie memes) kinda open it up. It's a bit of work, but again, it could make a good series.
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 19:42 |
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Lonos Oboe posted:But on SA is feels like clickbait. It's your terse structure. It feels very old school lowtax. Which was hysterical back in the day. But is kinda cringe nowadays. Look dude, don't worry about it. Because you are not writing this poo poo any more. Y'know, I think I have a constructive way of handling this criticism: show me some recent articles from the site that aren't cringe and terse. I've been writing for the site for a little over a year, so anything from that time period is fine. And I'll make this a general ask: show me the stuff from the past year that drove you guys crazy with how good it was. Here's a few from me -- like, the gold standard for the site: http://www.somethingawful.com/news/cyberpunk-anthony-bourdain/ http://www.somethingawful.com/news/ghoulies-trump-islam/ http://www.somethingawful.com/news/samurai-vader-rogue/ http://www.somethingawful.com/news/stand-up-special/ http://www.somethingawful.com/news/doom-box-comic/ http://www.somethingawful.com/news/overwatch-know-skills/
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 19:48 |
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I'd say my favorite writers on a regular basis are Jedidiah and CTS. I just love the dead-pan macabre black humor in the former and CTS has a cute goofiness/absurdity to his things that I've come to really enjoy (also I'm a video game nerd). Outside of that, it's the series that are the most interesting to me, but that's probably because you end up building a rapport with them. Levi Johnston is consistently good and I really like Livestock's series as well. Salmonseason is fine, but a lot of collegiate slice-of-life observations that I feel I've moved past. I don't know if you have a style just yet. I think your acknowledgement of Zach, is definite a sign of his influence on you. Except you're not as dark as he is, which is nice, there's no need for two people like that. I'm actually going to flip through your things here and now and see if I can come up with some categories.
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:08 |
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TLDR: I analyze a Asterios' articles, quickly regretting it (only cause it takes a long time not because it's bad), but doing it because I said I would. He's a socially aware writer, who's very goofy and irreverent and likes to poke fun at clichés surrounding millennials. He also has a strange habit of naming things, that doesn't really work to his strengths or makes things so concise that we may miss the joke. It's not surprising you mention Zach since he's clearly an influence. I'd say him, Bobservo, and yourself are the 3 who tend to write the most on current events. Zach's often goes to really dark places on these, Bobservo's piece feel more righteously angry, and at your best you go goofy on them. One of my favorites that falls in this category is "Chicago U: No Safe Spaces, Trigger Warnings, Protection From Bears Sep 05, 2016". You're socially aware and you come off as pretty progressive. It's why what's arguably your most infamous piece "Terribly Accurate Burlesque Names 04-11-2016", seems out of place for you, besides being fairly uncreative. The critique of low-hanging fruit is often used to describe you and this is definitely true in regards to your Trump articles. Trump is an undeniably easy target to joke about, and your Trump v. Trump ones are great, but while I'm sure it's a well that'll never run dry, I think as an audience we're just oversaturated with the man, for better or for worse. Hence those criticisms. Now you write these things cause you write about current events and by and large these articles work. You also like to poke fun at millennial culture, often by exaggerating the standard media line. I liked your Snapchat article, but it's sequel, Post-Valentine's Day Breakup Snapchats Feb 15, 2016, is a good example of one of your list-formatted articles that doesn't really work. It's a week after the previous one so as sequenced punchline it doesn't succeed, and it ends up feeling repetitious and cheap. They'd of worked better paired immediately with the first article. I think it's clear though that lists are a thing with you. I don't mean numbered cracked-like lists, but you do do lists of jokes tied to a theme. I do prefer when you make narratives, but I can imagine that those are comparatively harder to make than listed punchlines, and in many cases not as immediately funny. And to be honest you do have some good lists. The ones I really enjoyed (not lists): Highlights from Obama's Address If A Bee Had Flown In Dec 07, 2015 - This just tickles my goofy ridiculousness funny bone to no end. TERMINATE SANTIAGO WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE Apr 25, 2016- This one is great. It's that level of absurdity that I enjoy. Lists that worked: Incendiary Slate Headlines That Are Totally Up for Grabs! 05-19-2015- You revisit this later in Real Slate Headline or Fake Slate Headline? Nov 30, 2015 which feels a bit cheap on the first reading, but actually is very clever. I wouldn't mind seeing more of this. This is you poking fun at millennial culture. What's New on Netflix This Month! 06-18- 2015- Not every one is a home-run, but the photoshops are a nice touch and it's generally pretty good. You did one better with your What's Coming To Netflix In 2016 Nov 16, 2015 which takes a more in-depth approach, to its benefit. The Worst Reddit Writing Prompts Of All Time Monday, Sep 28, 2015- This one had some good jokes in it. iTunes New & Noteworthy & Terrible Podcasts! Thursday, Jul 30, 2015- this one has a really good mix of quick bulleted punchlines and more elaborate set-ups. This sort of style of list could definitely improve some of your shorter articles and may not be quite as time-consuming as straight narrative. Valentine’s Snapchats From Your Millennial gently caress Buddy Feb 08, 2016 An Entire Airplane Helped A Baby Get To Sleep. And I Livetweeted It. Mar 28, 2016- I remember not liking this one initially but now that I've got a better feel of what you do it's actually really funny. Ones that don't work (or seem like cop-outs): Tombstone Goofs- Jan 04, 2016: I don't know why a second was made. The punchlines really don't have anything to them. I guess it's just self-deprecating but... not really knowing you it's a bit beyond me. Terribly Accurate Burlesque Names Apr 11, 2016: Probably the most infamous one you've done. What's weird is that it's actually kind out of place for you to make fun of strippers considering what I feel your thing is. Real or Fake Star Trek Novel? Feb 22, 2016: To be fair I don't know Star Trek. But that said there's very little substance here. Best Names For Horses Aug 29, 2016: One is named Leadership, which may be an actual name? And is that the joke? Best Names For Boats 01-25-2016: I do not get how there are 3 of these. Other things I found while in this endeavor: Why Didn’t Either Candidate Discuss The Big Trouble Going On In Little China? Oct 10, 2016: This a good article, obviously helped by knowing the movie, but this is more akin to what Lonos Oboe is talking about, Lonos Oboe posted:You mentioned in the article that it was a faux kinda Facebook post. America: “Eh, Gettin’ Bored Of Unarmed Blacks Killed By Cops” Aug 08, 2016: This is you doing Zach but wonderfully in your voice and style. It's irreverent and depressing and you make it work. I could see him getting grotesque and dark with this subject but you manage to keep it light. Pokémon Battle Tips From A Psychopath Nov 23, 2015- it's not a bad premise but you kinda kill the joke by explaining it at the very beginning with the title and the intro. The weird thing is that there's great jokes like the fake-out in no. 7, but the lines like "Just some crazy Japanese bullshit I guess?!", "Whatev, I'm no expert." also end up killing the joke that'd be stronger without them. It's odd to see both extremes in one piece. What Happened On The Final Prairie Home Companion, I Assume Jul 04, 2016 & Signs You Aren't Invited To Jim & Karen's Wedding Oct 12, 2015: both were sadly short. These could've been made just a bit longer especially cause the idea and the content was generally pretty good. Your "Named Things" articles are often pretty sure (you give about 10 names and call it a day), though to be honest I do feel that's for the best because if there's one thing I just don't get of yours is the naming of things. Those are, as far as I'm concerned, by far the least funny things you have and definitely feel like no effort was put into it. Compare those lists to the Dad Index, just aesthetically the latter clearly takes some effort and time, and the jokes are way more elaborate between the code (I forget what that thing is) and the joke itself. Those are great.
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 00:28 |
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Asterios posted:And I'll make this a general ask: show me the stuff from the past year that drove you guys crazy with how good it was. I personally don't have the time for this, but I don't think it's about deconstructing yourself and others and try and build yourself into that style. When I am teaching my students about writing, I tell them to write only what suits them and hone that to a keen edge. Don't try and be something you are not. Your own perspective is what makes you a good writer and most important of all: a unique writer. Find your voice dude. I would love if your next few articles were experiments. It would be a gas if your next one was a faux meltdown and say how you are sick of your critics. Kinda break the fourth wall. Highlight your previous, most derided articles and use them as examples of your greatness and point out the meaning in them we all missed. A little self reference/deprecating humor would be a nice way for you to get this new start. You could even write an article about the burlesque club article and the story could be wild and bizarre (and a total pastiche on Vice) and you ended up not writing the article for some reason and instead wrote the names on the way to work. It's like an admission of how bad it was, but also an awesome story. That said, you are right to read the classics. Just don't be too hard on yourself, have fun. You have an audience that appreciates unconventional humor and at the least will appreciate something different. Lonos Oboe fucked around with this message at 14:52 on Dec 21, 2016 |
# ? Dec 21, 2016 14:42 |
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# ? Apr 24, 2024 12:41 |
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One thing I'd suggest is work your personal interests or hatreds into things, then you get that extra boost of energy that people pick up on. Write for yourself, first and foremost.
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 17:04 |