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  • Locked thread

An Enormous Boner posted:

I use to jerk off very fast when i was young and immature, but now that im old and wise i move my hand real slow when i jack off. Its more mature.


by Lowtax

general anime

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

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woozy pawsies posted:

Out of respect to the wife, I wait until she is on a 1 day+ road trip with the kids until I begin masturbating. I go around the home closing all the blinds and locking the doors that lead to the outside. After changing the daytime sheets to something less elegant, I lay down on my king size bed and pull my penis through my crotch hole and start slowly tugging.


by Lowtax

general anime

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Jack Daniels posted:

I stick my wiener thru the front zipper hole -- the "fly" -- of my expensive pin-striped dress pants. I keep the button on...just stick my weiner thru the zipper opening itself. Then I jack it slowly, lke I'm rich


by Lowtax

general anime

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

"A 1997 conference of musicians and philosophers discussed the implications of Cage's instruction to play the piece "as slow as possible", given that an organ imposes virtually no time limits. A project emerged to perform the piece for 639 years."

^that's basic how I jack off

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)


Metagrubs

grumple wumpkins posted:

Now that im mature i jerk off real slow
                                                                 \
                                                                 


serious norman


凸[◣_◢]凸UNBAN CHIPE凸[◣_◢]凸 put this in your sig if you support FYAD凸[◣_◢]凸

lol



Skip My Posts

grumple wumpkins posted:

Now that im mature i jerk off real slow
                                                                 \
                                                                 


by Lowtax

general anime

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!


its too late to . s c r e a m
Jack Daniels
Now that I live alone I can jack off whenever I want, and I can eat cookies for dinner and breakfast too.


The XKCD Larper

The XKCD Larper posted:

Now that I live alone I can jack off whenever I want, and I can eat cookies for dinner and breakfast too.

lol win, tbh


its too late to . s c r e a m
Jack Daniels
I've been jerking it since this thread started and will probably cum about Feb 13th on the 1 year anniversary of the thread.


by zen death robot

my wheelhouse

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

An Enormous Boner posted:

I use to jerk off very fast when i was young and immature, but now that im old and wise i move my hand real slow when i jack off. Its more mature.



xemu
I don't jack off into my hands and mouth. I don't sploot sperm into my food and eat it. I don't cum into my own rear end. I don't jizz from the top of tall buildings on birds. I don't cum into milkshakes and freeze the cum. I don't have sex with video games. I don't mod my FF15 character to have big boob to jack off to. I don't do any of that gross stuff.


Holocaust Princess

anne frank fanfic

anne frank fanfic posted:

I don't jack off into my hands and mouth. I don't sploot sperm into my food and eat it. I don't cum into my own rear end. I don't jizz from the top of tall buildings on birds. I don't cum into milkshakes and freeze the cum. I don't have sex with video games. I don't mod my FF15 character to have big boob to jack off to. I don't do any of that gross stuff.

came here to post this



grumple wumpkins



anne frank fanfic posted:

I don't jack off into my hands and mouth. I don't sploot sperm into my food and eat it. I don't cum into my own rear end. I don't jizz from the top of tall buildings on birds. I don't cum into milkshakes and freeze the cum. I don't have sex with video games. I don't mod my FF15 character to have big boob to jack off to. I don't do any of that gross stuff.

sperm splooter


by Lowtax

general anime

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

splooter mcgavin is in position to become golf's next bad boy


crusader_complex

crusader_complex posted:

splooter mcgavin is in position to become golf's next bad boy

sounds like we have an Eager Jerker, here folks. probabky never played a classic SHMUP in his life


Crime on a Dime





it used to be all durrududfurudru hurrry hurry *spurt sprut*. dumbass. now I can soak it all in, sip on a coffee, and actually notice the beauty of mathematics hiding in mother nature on the curve of a woman's breast or on the lips of her . lp. lapis.. lapisas. lapia.


Holocaust Princess

anne frank fanfic

anne frank fanfic posted:

it used to be all durrududfurudru hurrry hurry *spurt sprut*. dumbass. now I can soak it all in, sip on a coffee, and actually notice the beauty of mathematics hiding in mother nature on the curve of a woman's breast or on the lips of her . lp. lapis.. lapisas. lapia.


by Lowtax

general anime

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

anne frank fanfic posted:

it used to be all durrududfurudru hurrry hurry *spurt sprut*. dumbass. now I can soak it all in, sip on a coffee, and actually notice the beauty of mathematics hiding in mother nature on the curve of a woman's breast or on the lips of her . lp. lapis.. lapisas. lapia.


ol yeller

anne frank fanfic posted:

it used to be all durrududfurudru hurrry hurry *spurt sprut*. dumbass. now I can soak it all in, sip on a coffee, and actually notice the beauty of mathematics hiding in mother nature on the curve of a woman's breast or on the lips of her . lp. lapis.. lapisas. lapia.

lol



In Training
<---somebody who jerks off really fast and has probably never gotten laid in his life
<--- a real pro who plays it cool hand luke with his j/o to simulate having sex with an actual wom,an who contrary to popular belief dont like it when men pop it off in 5 seconds


starbarry clock

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

I jack off into my hands and mouth. I sploot sperm into my food and eat it. I cum into my own rear end. I jizz from the top of tall buildings on birds. I cum into milkshakes and freeze the cum. I have sex with video games. I mod my FF15 character to have big boob to jack off to. FYHAD


Stinky Fuck Face
nightbae smokewheat

nightbae smokewheat posted:

I jack off into my hands and mouth. I sploot sperm into my food and eat it. I cum into my own rear end. I jizz from the top of tall buildings on birds. I cum into milkshakes and freeze the cum. I have sex with video games. I mod my FF15 character to have big boob to jack off to. FYHAD


serious norman


凸[◣_◢]凸UNBAN CHIPE凸[◣_◢]凸 put this in your sig if you support FYAD凸[◣_◢]凸

cum

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!


Oh Don Piano

09:00 light incense
09:15 saran wrap couch
09:45 sit down and begin rubbing ballsack through jeans (remain flaccid)
10:30 peruse paperview adult programming show descriptions (open palm rub entire ballsack and penis, jeans should be donned)
12:00 turn to channel 857 on Direct TV for SonicTap Zen music station
12:15 become erect, remove shirt
12:25 use tablet to log into https://forums.somethingawful.com
12:28 read GBS
4:00 Open FYAD (Mon, Wed, Fri: Wife thread, Tues/Thur: Bimbo Thread, Sun 'cheat day': Gay thread)
5:00 Grip erect shaft and squeeze really hard then release pressure, repeat 20X
5:10 lubricate
5:17 sit Indian style pinch head and each nut use pinky finger to mustache twirl pubic hair middle finger stimulating gooch
5:25 read the posts in between the sexy pictures outloud in characterized voices for each poster in breathy whispers
5:45 strum your shaft and drum your ballsack to the tribal beats of Zen
6:20 Release the Kraken! (cum)
6:30 tear down/clean up


by Lowtax

general anime

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

general anime posted:

09:00 light incense
09:15 saran wrap couch
09:45 sit down and begin rubbing ballsack through jeans (remain flaccid)
10:30 peruse paperview adult programming show descriptions (open palm rub entire ballsack and penis, jeans should be donned)
12:00 turn to channel 857 on Direct TV for SonicTap Zen music station
12:15 become erect, remove shirt
12:25 use tablet to log into https://forums.somethingawful.com
12:28 read GBS
4:00 Open FYAD (Mon, Wed, Fri: Wife thread, Tues/Thur: Bimbo Thread, Sun 'cheat day': Gay thread)
5:00 Grip erect shaft and squeeze really hard then release pressure, repeat 20X
5:10 lubricate
5:17 sit Indian style pinch head and each nut use pinky finger to mustache twirl pubic hair middle finger stimulating gooch
5:25 read the posts in between the sexy pictures outloud in characterized voices for each poster in breathy whispers
5:45 strum your shaft and drum your ballsack to the tribal beats of Zen
6:20 Release the Kraken! (cum)
6:30 tear down/clean up

lol



grumple wumpkins



general anime posted:

09:00 light incense
09:15 saran wrap couch
09:45 sit down and begin rubbing ballsack through jeans (remain flaccid)
10:30 peruse paperview adult programming show descriptions (open palm rub entire ballsack and penis, jeans should be donned)
12:00 turn to channel 857 on Direct TV for SonicTap Zen music station
12:15 become erect, remove shirt
12:25 use tablet to log into https://forums.somethingawful.com
12:28 read GBS
4:00 Open FYAD (Mon, Wed, Fri: Wife thread, Tues/Thur: Bimbo Thread, Sun 'cheat day': Gay thread)
5:00 Grip erect shaft and squeeze really hard then release pressure, repeat 20X
5:10 lubricate
5:17 sit Indian style pinch head and each nut use pinky finger to mustache twirl pubic hair middle finger stimulating gooch
5:25 read the posts in between the sexy pictures outloud in characterized voices for each poster in breathy whispers
5:45 strum your shaft and drum your ballsack to the tribal beats of Zen
6:20 Release the Kraken! (cum)
6:30 tear down/clean up

goldmine

i'd like to know my characterized voice


Stinky Fuck Face
nightbae smokewheat

general anime posted:

09:00 light incense
09:15 saran wrap couch
09:45 sit down and begin rubbing ballsack through jeans (remain flaccid)
10:30 peruse paperview adult programming show descriptions (open palm rub entire ballsack and penis, jeans should be donned)
12:00 turn to channel 857 on Direct TV for SonicTap Zen music station
12:15 become erect, remove shirt
12:25 use tablet to log into https://forums.somethingawful.com
12:28 read GBS
4:00 Open FYAD (Mon, Wed, Fri: Wife thread, Tues/Thur: Bimbo Thread, Sun 'cheat day': Gay thread)
5:00 Grip erect shaft and squeeze really hard then release pressure, repeat 20X
5:10 lubricate
5:17 sit Indian style pinch head and each nut use pinky finger to mustache twirl pubic hair middle finger stimulating gooch
5:25 read the posts in between the sexy pictures outloud in characterized voices for each poster in breathy whispers
5:45 strum your shaft and drum your ballsack to the tribal beats of Zen
6:20 Release the Kraken! (cum)
6:30 tear down/clean up



vaginal facsimile

http://myanimelist.net/profile/spbbbb
ty cat dynamite, scrub lover, nessa
Old Sigs: http://i.imgur.com/2x6FJEa.png http://i.imgur.com/3HOVbjB.gif

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wT62m9mZJhE

love being on day 3 of nofap and clicking on the moms thread



vaginal facsimile

http://myanimelist.net/profile/spbbbb
ty cat dynamite, scrub lover, nessa
Old Sigs: http://i.imgur.com/2x6FJEa.png http://i.imgur.com/3HOVbjB.gif

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wT62m9mZJhE

lol


HELL CIRCUS LOSER
BiG TrUcKs !!!

general anime posted:

09:00 light incense
09:15 saran wrap couch
09:45 sit down and begin rubbing ballsack through jeans (remain flaccid)
10:30 peruse paperview adult programming show descriptions (open palm rub entire ballsack and penis, jeans should be donned)
12:00 turn to channel 857 on Direct TV for SonicTap Zen music station
12:15 become erect, remove shirt
12:25 use tablet to log into https://forums.somethingawful.com
12:28 read GBS
4:00 Open FYAD (Mon, Wed, Fri: Wife thread, Tues/Thur: Bimbo Thread, Sun 'cheat day': Gay thread)
5:00 Grip erect shaft and squeeze really hard then release pressure, repeat 20X
5:10 lubricate
5:17 sit Indian style pinch head and each nut use pinky finger to mustache twirl pubic hair middle finger stimulating gooch
5:25 read the posts in between the sexy pictures outloud in characterized voices for each poster in breathy whispers
5:45 strum your shaft and drum your ballsack to the tribal beats of Zen
6:20 Release the Kraken! (cum)
6:30 tear down/clean up

lol


slam flanders


general anime posted:

09:00 light incense
09:15 saran wrap couch
09:45 sit down and begin rubbing ballsack through jeans (remain flaccid)
10:30 peruse paperview adult programming show descriptions (open palm rub entire ballsack and penis, jeans should be donned)
12:00 turn to channel 857 on Direct TV for SonicTap Zen music station
12:15 become erect, remove shirt
12:25 use tablet to log into https://forums.somethingawful.com
12:28 read GBS
4:00 Open FYAD (Mon, Wed, Fri: Wife thread, Tues/Thur: Bimbo Thread, Sun 'cheat day': Gay thread)
5:00 Grip erect shaft and squeeze really hard then release pressure, repeat 20X
5:10 lubricate
5:17 sit Indian style pinch head and each nut use pinky finger to mustache twirl pubic hair middle finger stimulating gooch
5:25 read the posts in between the sexy pictures outloud in characterized voices for each poster in breathy whispers
5:45 strum your shaft and drum your ballsack to the tribal beats of Zen
6:20 Release the Kraken! (cum)
6:30 tear down/clean up

my god, pro strat



Blerick


Blerick posted:

my god, pro strat

7 minutes of lubeing


Oh Don Piano

lets just say that, by the end of today's jerk, im ready for tomorrow's


dionysian

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

general anime posted:

09:00 light incense
09:15 saran wrap couch
09:45 sit down and begin rubbing ballsack through jeans (remain flaccid)
10:30 peruse paperview adult programming show descriptions (open palm rub entire ballsack and penis, jeans should be donned)
12:00 turn to channel 857 on Direct TV for SonicTap Zen music station
12:15 become erect, remove shirt
12:25 use tablet to log into https://forums.somethingawful.com
12:28 read GBS
4:00 Open FYAD (Mon, Wed, Fri: Wife thread, Tues/Thur: Bimbo Thread, Sun 'cheat day': Gay thread)
5:00 Grip erect shaft and squeeze really hard then release pressure, repeat 20X
5:10 lubricate
5:17 sit Indian style pinch head and each nut use pinky finger to mustache twirl pubic hair middle finger stimulating gooch
5:25 read the posts in between the sexy pictures outloud in characterized voices for each poster in breathy whispers
5:45 strum your shaft and drum your ballsack to the tribal beats of Zen
6:20 Release the Kraken! (cum)
6:30 tear down/clean up

lol


dionysian

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

lolling but also wishing you had incorporated fyad into your 'sesh at 4:20 instead


little munchkin

ADBOT LOVES YOU
Adbot

general anime posted:

09:00 light incense
09:15 saran wrap couch
09:45 sit down and begin rubbing ballsack through jeans (remain flaccid)
10:30 peruse paperview adult programming show descriptions (open palm rub entire ballsack and penis, jeans should be donned)
12:00 turn to channel 857 on Direct TV for SonicTap Zen music station
12:15 become erect, remove shirt
12:25 use tablet to log into https://forums.somethingawful.com
12:28 read GBS
4:00 Open FYAD (Mon, Wed, Fri: Wife thread, Tues/Thur: Bimbo Thread, Sun 'cheat day': Gay thread)
5:00 Grip erect shaft and squeeze really hard then release pressure, repeat 20X
5:10 lubricate
5:17 sit Indian style pinch head and each nut use pinky finger to mustache twirl pubic hair middle finger stimulating gooch
5:25 read the posts in between the sexy pictures outloud in characterized voices for each poster in breathy whispers
5:45 strum your shaft and drum your ballsack to the tribal beats of Zen
6:20 Release the Kraken! (cum)
6:30 tear down/clean up

lamo


serious norman


凸[◣_◢]凸UNBAN CHIPE凸[◣_◢]凸 put this in your sig if you support FYAD凸[◣_◢]凸

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