Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Bonald Farndhardt
Apr 18, 2005
Ye it up
Griefing is an art form.



Sometimes it's breaking a game's mechanics, sometimes it's subtly disobeying the metagame in a way that pisses off your teammates and opponents, and sometimes it's simply being a dick.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Griefer

Some Minecraft page posted:

Griefing is the act of irritating and angering people in video games through the use of destruction, construction, or social engineering.

In today's world of cyberbullying and the word "trolling" being thrown about left and right without much actual meaning, there must be a place for the purest, finest quality griefing to be shared and preserved for posterity. This thread is that place. Please post your stories, videos, and other recordings of yourself or others inducing tantrums in gamers. And remember, a good grief is rage-inducing, creative, and makes for a good story.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Bonald Farndhardt
Apr 18, 2005
Ye it up
Highlights from the last thread:

Counter-Strike

Hackers go on a rampage using Apache helicopters, magic carpets, forklifts, and other tools of destruction.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQhs3y2Lc-E

World of Warcraft - Funeral Raid
A group of players decides to interrupt an in-game funeral.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHJVolaC8pw

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2886637&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=2#post345408597
Linden - Team Fortress 2 griefing video featuring door blocking, teleporters, & turrets.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2886637&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=3#post345442058
Doctor Fatty - Age of Conan surprise base jumping.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2886637&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=7#post345557615
Arms_Akimbo - Second Life griefing of the John Edwards '08 in-game campaign HQ by supporters of John Edward the TV psychic.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2886637&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=7#post345610180
Isometric Bacon followed up that effort with some more details on Second Life griefing.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2886637&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=11#post345734728
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2886637&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=19#post345860195
FAG ON THE FORUMS - Dating Game Online & Second Life antics

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2886637&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=15#post345806556
Virxas - Ultima Online death portals and bank crashes.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2886637&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=32#post346119085
Blast of Confetti - To Catch a Predator (Second Life edition)

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2886637&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=41#post346802465
Ray_ - Stealing an ultimate weapon from a player during the glory days of Ultima Online.

A playlist of quality Ventrilo Harassment vids


Wrecking a NWN Roleplaying Server:

quote:

Years back, after I quit my EQ addiction, I played on a persistent world Neverwinter Nights server for a few months. I'm not sure how many players there were on the server at the time I played, but the active player base was probably only a few hundred. I honestly can't remember how many players could be on at the same time, but I'd guess it was around 50. That made it a small server, but the game world was entirely too large (with extra, completely empty cities occasionally being added, and later removed, with no one noticing), which meant that most of the game world was unpopulated and, more importantly, completely mysterious to most players. It was pretty mundane--players could gain XP through defeating NPCs in the middle of the woods and random dungeons up to a certain level (10, I believe), after which all XP needed to come from DM events. To make things worse, most of the NPC encounters and loot wouldn't respawn until the server reset, which could be twice a day, or twice a month. Finding mobs and chests that respawned automatically was really important, as was keeping them secret. Grinding for loot or XP was actually against the rules (unless you had a "RP reason" for killing lots of umber hulks or whatever--I think I just claimed they killed my father and so I would kill them all until I was level 10, at which point I would have my vengeance), and most of the DMs only did events with the high-level characters that they were already friends with, which meant actually getting to a comparable position of power on the server was nearly impossible. One one hand, the drama of the most important characters was always really stupid: "oh no my sword is HAUNTED!", or "I MUST SACRIFICE MYSELF TO SAVE THE WOOOORLD!", but on the other, I wanted to be part of it so that I could bring it all crashing down. All RP eventually ends in some sort of fight, and if I couldn't win on a purely-mechanical basis, or due to DM intervention (as they'd always side with their already powerful buddies), I decided to add weight to my character's arguments by exploiting the poo poo out of that server as hard as possible.

Luckily, the server itself seem to be remodeled every few months, and tons of new exploits would be introduced as new, poorly-scripted content was introduced. This would be my primary method of achieving power. The second, less interesting mechanic was the broken pickpocket skill, which let me steal random items from other PCs, basically at any time. I created a new character just to specialize in pickpocket, who I then used to rob the high level PCs as much as possible, knowing that many of them would not attack me directly (instead, they'd try to subdue me, or paralyze me, or some other role playing bullshit, because people were scared to use PVP on a server with PVP by default), and have me thrown in jail. Which would be great, were the jail not DM controlled, meaning that half the time when I was put under citizen's arrest they'd just stand around with me captive for a while before getting pissed, making threats, and storming off (since there was no DM on there to play the guard and put in me jail or the stocks, and retrieve their stolen items from me).

The purpose of all the pickpocketting wasn't to piss players off (although that didn't hurt). Instead, I was only interested in occasionally acquiring a DM generated item from a higher level player. In online NWN games, DMs can create all of the standard premade items. They are also able to create unique items (although I'm not sure if they could do this directly in game or what). Sometimes this was just random magical items, but occasionally it meant unique items with specific magical effects that you wouldn't find anywhere else. Naturally, these items would be given away without much overall thought in the purpose of some event or special quest, which meant that many were hilariously broken themselves. Many players, interested in maintaining the roleplaying facade, didn't even realize how broken some of their poo poo was.

As I mentioned earlier, as people redid areas and content for the server, lots of bugs and exploits were introduced. Eventually, I found one broken NPC who could be used to duplicate items (related to some half-assed and otherwise useless crafting system). I found another who would, when used as a merchant, sell certain items for less than he would buy them for. Of course, I instantly saw the utility in this, and proceeded to give myself far more gold then I would ever need, and launder it to multiple characters (for some reason, the DMs could see how much my PC had on his character and in the server bank, but not on any offline characters). After discovering a bug in their implementation of some custom feature, I was able to determine if any DMs were online at any given time (since they had the ability to hide that status), and safely exchange money between my mains and my mules. I also used the item duplication exploit to acquire as much high level equipment as possible (bought from both NPCs and PCs), and save it away (in case the server changed and some of it became unavailable and highly sought after). I wasn't able to copy more than a few custom items, as my obsession with those only really became A Thing after that exploit was fixed.

The problem with infinite gold was that there wasn't too much to buy, after a point. I could get the highest level equipment, but DM provided stuff was far better, and most PCs didn't want to part with it for gold (because what would they buy with gold, after all?). Regardless, equipment would only get me so far against PCs far stronger than me, who I couldn't get the XP to match them in level (since the DM inbreeding meant they only did quests among those same high level players most of the time). That's where I started looking for exploitable items. I began searching the most obscure, never-traveled zones on the far side of the server for broken items in loot tables. I found a few things---scrolls of a weird, non-standard spell that, if successful, would destroy a player utterly. Their corpse would be consumed by fire, preventing resurrection. This meant they definitely lost XP, and their items too. Unless they had gold stashed in the bank (with which they could only get lovely stock gear from merchants), they were relegated to the default, useless noob gear and handouts from sympathetic friends. The spell was rarely successful, and rarely used (since people rarely fought to the death, because they were weird). But with persistence, I stockpiled enough to be able to take a higher level player down and seriously gently caress their poo poo up, which would lead to gallons of RP tears---manhunt parties combing the wilderness for my dwarven blackguard, wanted posters for me in the main city, angry forum threads about me, DMs messaging me out of character telling me how much they hated me and how I should die. The usual, basically. And since it was RP rules, I'd just walk into down the next day with a different hooded garment and dare them to recognize me without doing a specific skill check with DM assistance. "How dare you goode sir! I have never been to your humble town before, and I have certainly never slaughtered the innocent and christened by weapon in the blood of children. What do you mean I look like the guy that did it? Are you saying all dwarfs look alike? Are you a racist?"

After a while, they had the idea to quietly let PCs buy crafted magical items (using generic values from the DM guide) from DMs. I poured money into an enormously overpowered greatsword with multiple magical effects, enough armor to actually let me hold my ground against a player with 10 levels on me, and loving teleportation boots. Yes, they had some broken scripted system for teleportation (it involved using chat commands and stuff along with spell items). I found the item in the DM guide, and convinced a newer DM to make them for me (the older ones knew how badly that would end). Suddenly, I could move around the world faster than literally anyone on the server, escape any fight, and then return minutes later to drop a spell and fly off again.

Later, I went on to acquire a huge number of other overpowered and unbalanced magical items through an auction event they held, tapping into my cash reserves. A couple DMs were annoyed, but assumed I had gotten cash (which no one else cared about) from farming some obscure monster for XP and gold in an obscure area (in fact, I did this too, because finding monsters that awarded XP in this server's weird system was hard to do, but I managed to find some that no one else knew about and use them to level up and get some, but not nearly enough, gold). Combined with my prior stockpiling of broken loot, I finally had a big enough arsenal to challenge the incumbent heroes of the server. In fact, I ended that auction by paralyzing half of the players present, summoning a hoard of elementals to attack them, and then spamming area of effect magic to attack them all at once. Keep in mind, I was a blackguard, which meant I had no real magic of my own. I was just using the items that the DMs had just sold me, completely in character.

So far, I had just been setting up for my final act of pissing people off enough to get the entire server to drop the RP and admit that they were lonely weirdos. A few weeks after my attack on the auction, I went to the main city, which at the time had a single bridge for entrance or exit. I decided to charge a toll for crossing, and made up some obscure RP rant about how that bridge spanned the sacred river of my ancestors and how the White Man destroyed our lands and people and how dare you defile our sacred goddamn river. This failed to convince most people, so I started off my making an example of one of the first to cross the bridge by using one of my broken fire scrolls to incinerate his character and permanently destroy everything he owned. A dick move, but the guy I targeted was a huge tool, so it was a good way to get the ball rolling. At this point, I believe a few people paid the drat toll, a few people ran back to the main city to get help, and a few people cried to the DMs.

But no DMs were on that night. I had gained access to the DM schedule, and none would be on that night, unless someone got on AIM and found one willing to log in. This gave me time to have fun.

Some lowbie told me that he didn't have any money, and asked to join my team instead. It was a useless gesture, as he was around level 2, but I accepted him into the bloody fold. I'm fairly certain I killed him in the madness that followed, but I can't remember if it was intentional or by accident. Not that it matters in the least, of course.

At this point, I decided that I was the equivalent of a raid boss, and that I really had nothing left to lose. I entered the main city (where all the available players were currently running around trying to gather up a group to resist me. Most players were somewhat lower level then me, but the few members of the high level DM-favorite club were present, and they were way higher level than I was (only a few levels, sure, but in DnD that's a lot). After choosing the exact perfect spot in the city, I waiting for the rest of the PCs to start attacking me in waves. Using one of my items, I put a permanent buff on my AC and regeneration (it was supposed to be temporary, but it was unlimited uses, so I set a macro to use the item and keep me permanently buffed). I then created a number of friendly, high level elementals to fight by my side (these, unfortunately, had a limited # of summons per day, which I needed to rest to reset). As players approached, I activated an item that cast Cloudkill as often as I wanted, and used a pseudo-wand of Finger of Death to start picking off the weaker ones as my elementals distracted most of the PCs. This destroyed most of the first wave, or at least scared them off, allowing me to actually enter the battle and take a few of them down with my comically overpowered weapon, causing them rest to back off for a minute. At this point, the OOC chat channel was filled with accusations of hacking, people crying about weeks of XP lost, and people asking where the DMs were. Even in normal chat, people were boldly breaking their cherished RP out of frustration (I recall hearing one person yell, "DIE IN A FIRE YOU CHEESE EATING human being". I'm honestly not sure where the cheese part came from, though). Bear in mind that "weeks of XP lost" was a fairly accurate assement--players below (but close to) the level cap were unlikely to know the loophole in the XP cap system that let certain monsters still award experience, and those above the level cap would need multiple, very long (and boring) DM events to regain lost XP.

At this point, the actual high level characters decided they had some holy imperative to defeat me, and started delivering paragraphs of speeches as I was still slaughtering the weaker players (presumably so that DMs could later examine the chat logs, see their just and totally-valid RP reason for attacking me, and shower them with XP and praise). Fortunately, by generally keeping the skies filled with flak of various sorts (ie, the various item effects I kept firing off), I was able to slowly chisel away at the health of these PCs, who I would otherwise likely lose to in a 1-on-1 fight (again, due to the level different). Although most of my "tricks" were somewhat known, I had saved a few for this sort of occasion. Every time the PCs got my health low, I pulled out a scrolls that cast some sort of custom-spell to turn me into a vampire, instantly granting me full health, regen, and much better attack and defense. People were generally confused as gently caress at this turn of events, as only a few people (mostly GMs) knew the item existed (as it turned out, it dropped from an obscure NPC in an obscure tower out of the way of anywhere important, and I had been farming it for months). I would spit out some canned, pre-prepared dialog, "AH! YOU HAVE UNCOVERED MY TRUE EVIL FORM! THE DEEP DARKNESS OF MY SOUL IS LAID BARE!", in an attempt to cause them to type a response (hopefully allowing me to trip them up with a different spell scroll while they were typing). Eventually, the scroll would wear off, I would turn into a dwarf again, and kite them around the city, occasionally popping off fireballs until I would stop and become a vampire murder machine again. I was able to start taking the high level PC characters out, which caused them all to flee for the time being, with most of them messaging people about how much of an rear end my character was and how they would kick my rear end in real life and how their friend was the head DM and I would be BANNED FOREVER.

However, at this point, more high level characters were arriving from across the server to join in as they had "felt a disturbance in the Weave" or whatever bullshit RP excuse they wanted to throw out after hearing about the situation on the OOC channel. I did the honorable thing and teleported away to a safe location on the other side of the world, where no one ever went (since it was far away, half programmed, and generally boring). After healing up, replenishing my item stocks, and resting (in order to reactive my items with limited uses per day), I teleported back to the main city. The important PCs had already left again after much deep RP discussion about my rogueishness and how they needed to hunt me down, and left to do just that. Or perhaps have RP sex. Or both, whatever. Regardless, at this point the city was filled with the same low level characters again, annoyed at having their poo poo wrecked earlier, and having stupid RP chat in the inn or tavern or whatever. Of course, at this point I interrupt their chat to begin serving heaping plates of murder, before teleporting off again. For the next couple hours, I repeated this cycle every 15 minutes or so, since these players had nothing else to do other then chat in the inn. Even littered with the dead, they'd still stand around, poorly-RPing about how good the ale was today and how comely the bar wench was. That was, apparently, 90% of the action on the server. The OOC channel was still filled with death threats and attempts to locate me (which was stupid, because in order to teleport I had a macro mapped to use my teleport boots and actually "speak" the teleport command in chat, which included the location of my destination).

After a few hours of grinding all action on the server to a halt, a DM arrives and promptly throws me in DM jail (limbo or the void or something equivalent). However, lacking a RP reason to ban me, he was forced to simply release me after a few days.

At that point, knowing that even killing half the server wouldn't get me banned depressed me, and I forgot about that drat game. My only regret was that I wasn't able to incinerate all of the high level PCs (unfortunately, the broken scroll that did this only had a horrible success rate, so most were spared that hilarious fate).

SS13 Tomfoolery:

quote:


The floor is now explosions

A while back, an Arc Smelter was added to the game. This lets you combine materials to create new alloys with properties from both. You can also infuse chemicals into things. If your first thought was, "how many explosions did this cause," congratulations, you pretty much "get" SS13. Here is a picture of what happened when I created a weldfuel-infused shovel and accidentally hit some of my weldfuel-infused glass windows with it.



Whoops!

One of the minerals is called erebite. Erebite is highly volatile and explosive. People used to make themselves explosion-proof erebite-alloyed blast armour and then run around tweaking their own nipples to cause massive at-will explosions that devastated everything around them while hurting them very little or not at all. Yes, seriously. Weaponized nipple tweaking. That was a thing.

Nipplebombing was nothing compared to infinite self-sustaining bombing, though.

See, after discovering that a sufficiently resilient erebite alloy would not be destroyed by its own explosion, people started to get kind of carried away. This culminated in some jerk re-tiling the floors in the escape shuttle bay with sturdy erebite metal alloy. Eventually someone set it off - I think they just stepped on it or walked over it while smoking or something - and welp that round was over. The tiles all set one another off, and each one became an individual Big Bang of eternal recurrent explosions. Everything ground to a halt and the admins were forced to cut the round off and start a new one.

Erebite doesn't work in the arc smelter anymore. At least you can make bullets out of ants and meth to make up for it!!


IT'S ALIVE! It died. IT'S ALIVE! It died. IT'S ALIVE!

There are a variety of highly combustible chemical compounds in SS13, such as napalm. There is also a recipe called Life, which can create weird gribbly meat creatures or a (usually insane and homicidal) randomized NPC human. The Life recipe is triggered by heat once it's mixed together. I'm sure you can kind of see where this is going, but trust me, it's crazier than you think.

One of the Chemists managed to brew up some kind of nightmare potion that created a cloud of flaming Life. This had the effect of spawning an endless singularity of screaming, flaming creatures and people that exploded into an eternal Valhalla of fiery combat. The fucker had somehow made the reaction self-sustaining, so his workplace quickly became an ever-deepening mountain of burning bodies, fire, and screams. As the lag got worse and worse, an admin teleported in to see what the gently caress was going on, and came face-to-face with a vision of Hell. "MY BEAUTIFUL CREATIONS" lamented the immolated chemist, as his murderous children's fiery fists rained down upon him.

It lagged the round absolutely to gently caress and back and basically ruined it for everyone else, but nobody punished him for it. In fact, the admins immediately posted the story to the SS13 thread for everyone to marvel at. Playing a Chemist and creating any kind of laggy hellfoam or hellsmoke is basically griefing in and of itself, but every once in a while someone does something so incredible with it that even the people stuck staring at a laggy, useless Byond client can't help but be impressed. Like whenever someone makes a mixture so hot that it melts space. That happens occasionally.


The Crashwich

Another good example is The Crashwich.

Fractal cooking is a time-honoured tradition of SS13 Chefs. You take six food items (almost anything can be deep-fried to turn it into food), make them into a sandwich, use the sandwich to create a sandwich cake (any food can be made into a cake), slice up the cake, use six cake slices to make a sandwich, etc etc etc. This can create unholy monstrosities that lag the poo poo out of everything merely by virtue of existing, sometimes to the point of causing people to crash out as soon as the game tries to display the thing's exponential name. You will note that the Jay Wolff's buttcake I baked there cuts off after a while - its name was so drat big it overflowed the chat buffer. The buttcake is nothing. It and food like it are pitiful hors d'oeuvres compared to THE CRASHWICH.

You see, there's another life-creating mad scientist chemistry recipe in Space Station 13. It's extremely hard to discover and make, but it has the effect of imbuing any object it touches with life. This creates, for instance, a Living Crowbar that floats around and attacks people. At some point a Chef got the brilliant (terrible) idea to combine the living object recipe with fractal cooking.

Enter The Crashwich. Every time this haunted apocalypse of culinary hubris attacked someone, the game reported its name multiple times. When it charged, when it slammed into someone, and every time it hit them, the chat buffer would once again overflow with infinite recursive fractal sandwich. The entire station was brought to its knees by crippling lag, while anyone unfortunate enough to be present for The Crashwich's rampage would immediately crash out and have to reconnect their client, usually to find themselves dead and/or immediately crash out again because The Crashwich was still wreaking havoc.

The admins rushed to intervene, but were alarmed to find that The Crashwich was creating so much lag that most admins who looked at it were reliably crashing. Those with good enough connections to brute-force through all the lag were shocked to discover that the sheer latency generated by the demon sandwich was causing their admin commands to get lost somewhere in the coding nightmare that is Byond. The admins were trying to delete The Crashwich and failing. Ultimately, their efforts were in vain, and the server went down completely. The admins fought The Crashwich and The Crashwich won.

The admins were apparently so impressed that they collectively decided not to ban the responsible party, but instead to deliver a friendly ultimatum: they would not be punished for causing the server to go down in flames, as long as they never created another Crashwich. NEVER AGAIN.

Bonald Farndhardt fucked around with this message at 07:21 on Feb 14, 2016

Charles Martel
Mar 7, 2007

"The Hero of the Age..."

The hero of all ages
Just wanted to say that the griefing thread is one of the very best threads I've read in Games and I hope the stories keep coming.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Hey. See that guy to the left? Want to know what's going on with that? yeah you do.

Phantasy Star Online 2 is an MMO coop action RPG which has been out in Japan for a few years and has been "Coming Soon" elsewhere for nearly as long. It's got a really great and versatile character creator. Obviously, the people who play it are mostly Japanese, and the few who aren't tend to be the biggest otakus imaginable, who buy Miku hair (actual Miku hair, there was a crossover) or Neptunia hair (ditto) or make their favourite Touhou or oh christ I can't go on here, let's just say it's the most anime of anime games and leave it at that. You play as your waifu, you're given another waifu by the plot and you make another tiny waifu to be useless in battle and go gather stuff for you.

But me, I'm not so much of an anime fan. In fact, I decided to set out to annoy anime fans.

This is my character. He's called Man Jackson.



(the giant banana is a rocket launcher, just go with it)

Now, there's a lot going on around you in PSO2, it's generally pretty easy to just ignore a nearby player. But PSO2 has a lovely little feature called Autowords. Whenever a quest starts, whenever a boss appears, whenever you get injured or killed - heck, whenever just about anything happens - you can have your character say something, up to three phrases per thing. It's also got all kinds of chat shortcuts, like you could have say something with EMPHASIS (makes the speech bubble spikey, adds a cymbal crash noise), or make your face appear on-screen in one of several expressions (each with its own corresponding background) from one of several angles.

So obviously I abused this to hell and back.


Pictured: a new player being introduced to Man Jackson

So now you can't just ignore him. Now you'll never miss a word he has to say. And come on, who needs to see the action, anyway?

Reactions have been... mixed. A lot of people seem to like it, weirdly enough, and even if they don't, Japanese pubbies are often too polite to say anything at all. In spite of that, I've got a few stories to share.

"please stop"
I was running a 12-man quest with a bunch of pubbies one time. Normally pubbies stay pretty quiet when faced with *cymbal* MAN JACKSON!!!, but this time I got one who didn't seem to like me. In fact, he was pretty clear on what he didn't like, when he said something like "カットインを中止して下さい". Then, figuring I didn't understand Japanese (he was right), he headed to Google translate, and came back with "Please stop the cut-in".

No. No I will not.

But hey, I wasn't going to say that, I was busy playing the game. Man Jackson simply continued, and I think he got the message.

So he said it again.

And then he said it again.

And then he said it every single time a cut-in happened. He must have put it on one of his chat shortcuts.

Now there's a bit of a flaw with that plan isn't there, because while he has to press a button every time, I don't. And I'm totally loving it :unsmigghh:

Olaf and a half
There's this kind of infamous player in the PSO community, goes by the name Big Olaf. Guy goes way above and beyond the call of duty in creepiness, he's actually commissioned a porn flash game of his character which you can find to this day on Newgrounds. Generic blue-haired big-titted animu princess, better than the alternative I guess.

Well it just so happened that Nexttime000, the goon team leader, was organising a 12-man thing, and what with various people having commitments we needed to make up our numbers with pubbies. Enter Olaf. Well you can't exactly turn the guy down, we were starved for numbers, but Next had a little jape planned. You already know what Man Jackson looks like, well now meet Schubalts :nws:.

We were meeting up in the casino, cause it has a spacegate in it and nobody ever goes there except in dedicated casino blocks, so we wouldn't be bothering anyone. The casino has had a lot of effort put into it, it's kind of a shame how it's always empty. It's this huge room with a giant castle thing in it, a big ol' fountain in the lobby, really nice if a bit gaudy. And so people can really explore, there's these balloons around the place, just grab one and you fly up into the air until you let go. There's no fall damage. One other thing the casino has is rafters.

So, we got to the casino, people trickled in one by one until Next declared that we were ready to begin. But wait, there were only 10 people there at the fountain!

And that was when Schubalts and I dropped out of the ceiling right onto Olaf's head.

Jacksons, unite!
In PSO2, you can have up to four people in a party. If you haven't got enough real people, you could bring some NPCs along - they do poo poo for damage, but can provide support like healing and stat buffs just fine, plus they count as some fraction of a person for determining things like enemy spawns.

I mentioned above that you create a tiny waifu to help you out. This is your support partner, which you create using the same character creator as your main character, but they're scaled down by quite a lot. Normally you only have one, but you can pay to get new ones. I have two.



On the left, we have Woman Jackson, the female equivalent to Man Jackson. On the right, Tinman Jackson, the robot equivalent. This is actually kind of an old picture since it's from before you could change the size and angle of your accessories, I should really get around to taking a new one.

With three Jacksons ready to deploy, it's time to go bowling. Simple enough to find victims, a lot of people play this coop game solo for some reason, so all I had to do was pick one and head in.

When I join someone's party, of course that sets off an autoword, usually *cymbal* "BET YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING MAN JACKSON!!!" So they do have a little warning.

As soon as I get in, I head to the partner console and summon my two support partners, then drop into the quest area. Once I've loaded in, and all the quest start autowords have calmed down, I say something like *cymbal* "YOU'RE IN TERRIBLE DANGER!!! DON'T WORRY, MAN JACKSON WILL SAVE YOU!!! JACKSONS UNITE!!!" And then run around letting the autowords take care of the rest.

As usual some people love it, some people don't react at all, but there was one who just stared at their screen for a bit then left the party and abandoned the quest. Well that's pretty shameful, but Man Jackson is a benevolent aggravator, so I sent him a whisper saying "MAN JACKSON FORGIVES YOU!!!" To which he sent me one calling me a scrub. Ouch.

PvPSO2
PSO2 is a co-op game, in theory there's absolutely no PvP.

Well, theories are made to be tested, right?

Panic! at the Skyscape
Panic, or in more normal RPG terms, confusion, is an interesting status ailment because it works differently on enemies to how it works on you. On enemies, it makes them run around attacking each other. On players, it just switches their movement controls around a bit - though dodge-rolls aren't affected, because that would take effort. But there's another effect that Panic used to have on players, one I sadly wasn't around to experience.

It used to turn on friendly fire.

There's a boss called Quartz Dragon that lives in the Skyscape, and like quite a few bosses, when it dies, anyone near it will take a hit as it falls over. Quartz Dragon's other notable feature, at least for this story, is that its attacks have a decent chance to inflict Panic.

Anyone should have been able to predict what would happen. People would join a party running the Quartz Dragon quest, get all the way to the end, help kill it, then fall under it and murder all their friends with the resulting Panic at the last second, guaranteeing they couldn't get the S-rank for the quest because they'd died and had to return to the shuttle.

It got patched out pretty quickly.

Burn, baby, burn
There's a status ailment called Burn which comes from a few places, you literally get set on fire and take damage over time for a while. And there's one other feature to it which means it's not just a reskinned poison.

You can pass fire around to any of your allies by touching them.

Myself and a group of goons were running a quest in the volcanic caves, when one of them had to go AFK for a few minutes. We weren't going to move on until he got back, so I had a fun idea. I sidled over to a nearby spurt of fire and hung around in it till I caught fire, then wandered back over to the AFK goon and rubbed myself all over them until they met the same fate.

Fire doesn't last forever, but my burn ran out before his, and then his burn set me back on fire, so we had a self-sustaining roasting reaction going. At this point the other two goons got the idea and joined in the barbecue, so now we were all standing around merrily burning away.



Shame he got back before he died.

Kaboom!
One of the features of planet Lillipa's deserts and subterranean tunnels is explosive barrels. When they're set off, by you or by enemies, they'll damage anything around them - that means you, that means enemies, and of course, that means your friends. In addition to dealing massive damage and sending you flying, they have a high chance of inflicting burn on anything they don't outright kill.

Of course, areas are randomly generated, so finding barrels at all isn't reliable, and when they do show up there's usually only one or two at a time. Not the easiest thing in the world to get people with.

Well. That's not strictly true. There is one kind of quest that isn't randomly generated, Time Attack quests are the exact same every time. And wouldn't you know it, the desert area of the Lillipa TA has a very special gift for me.

Mother



loving



truckloads



of barrels.

You have to go through an optional side area to lower the forcefields around that last lot of barrels, but I think it's worth it, they cover a pretty wide baisin area, can't really show you that cause the draw distance is a bit crap. I've blown up some people up to three times in a single quest. One goon makes sure to blow up every barrel he sees in that arena before ever attacking an enemy, just because of my antics.

Attack on Time
Speaking of Time Attacks, let's take a look at Time Attack: Naberius 2. Here's a crudely drawn diagram.



This is the first area of the quest, and we've just got done killing a horde of enemies. There's up to four players in a party, and for the next step, each player has to go their separate ways and fight a boss.

Stepping on a button, marked by a blue circle, brings up a forcefield, marked by the corresponding green line, and once every player is stepping on a different button, the forcefields at the exit, marked by the blue lines, will lower, allowing you to progress.

The green forcefields, one assumes, are to prevent other players from getting in. Of course, if they're trying to play the quest properly, there's no reason they'd want to get in... but there's a very good reason that they might want to get OUT.



Gosh, forests sure are relaxing. Think I might just take a nap...

I don't know what this is


Found this on some small gaming community one day. gently caress knows what it's doing there or who posted it, pretty sure it's nobody I know. Still, it's gratifying to be recognised.

Bonus low-effort rage:


If you can spell, then who the gently caress is Maichael Jackson?

Well that's all I've got for now, I'm not a great storyteller but with any luck those got a couple of chuckles. Hope to see a lot more from much better writers! Now I'm off to post 'Fire Emblem: Farts' in the FE thread.

Mordja
Apr 26, 2014

Hell Gem

MAN JACKSON!!!

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
hello, all

Rectus
Apr 27, 2008

Dabir posted:

*cymbal* MAN JACKSON!!!

That's awesome. It's cool knowing the story behind that name.

Larry Parrish
Jul 9, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
This thread is bad.

Montalvo
Sep 3, 2007



Fun Shoe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ki5cvEPu_e0

Tenzarin
Jul 24, 2007
.
Taco Defender

SS13 posted:

Back on Donut Station, my favorite strategy was to always get a multi-tool right away and to break into to EVA. Inside EVA was where you could get a spacesuit so you could go off the station because ironically the most unsafe place is being on the station. Someone is bound to attack you and then steal all your stuff and turn you into a monkey.

Ok so I had the space suit and then decided it was time to cause problems as is the normal gameplay model of Space Station 13.

I flew over to the Zeta research station where all the scientist do stupid science poo poo. I got some containers of plasma and opened them up full blast. Myself being in a spacesuit was perfectly safe as I wouldn't breatht he deadly plasma. I opened the doorway and start moving the containers in to the hall. Soon the halls were full of plasma and now the scientists knew something was going on. I quickly ran away pulling on last plasma tank with me.

Now that they know I was doing something and are currently trying to fix it but the hallways are still full of plasma and I still had one more tank I needed to fill up Zeta with. So I pulled out this other tool I got from EVA, it can deconstruct walls. I go up to the walls of Zeta and I use it. To my surprise when you use it, it creates sparks everywhere. Plasma is extremely flammable, Zeta was now on complete fire. The scientist all started to flee the unstoppable flames. The thing on the space station is fire extinguishers are prized fighting weapons, there are seldom few as the game goes on. They had no chance, I pushed the last plasma tank in and flew away.

A scientist came flying out of Zeta, typing up a flurry of insults. Turns out they were an admin, they pushed me down and took off all my items to make me die in space.

Then I was banned for 2 days.

SS13 posted:

On time I was the Captain of the Space Station. And I wanted to cause trouble so I went to the computers in order to give myself all the money on the station because I never ended a game with the most money yet.

I was searching through the names of players on the station and someone kept talking in the chat that was super loving annoying. They had a special job name and they werent in the system with money for me to steal. I called them out as the Great Space Mexican here to take our jobs because he was clearly undocumented. It must of pissed the admin hard because he started running into the bridge and beating me up.

I tried to yell for help but the Great Space Mexican was too strong.

Something happened at the end of the map and the station either blew up or we called the escape pod quickly. I think I survived and someone defeated the Great Space Mexican

SS13 posted:

Standard way to play Space Station is to start as an Assistant, acquire a fire extinguisher, find someone also who isn't an Assistant by telling them you want to "help them out". Then you bash their head steal their badge and weld them into a locker you push into space.

Then you can start the round.

SS13 posted:

Second way to start the way as an Assistant, requires an early start in the game.

1. Acquire a fire extinguisher, spray out all the extinguisher stuff.
2. Refuel the fire extinguisher with welding fuel.
3. Find a room that will have alot of people, like the bar.
4, Spray the welding fuel everywhere.
5. Throw a lite lighter on the floor.

Make sure you link your Byond account to your SA account or else you will get permabanned fast.

Tenzarin fucked around with this message at 23:03 on Feb 16, 2016

Horace Kinch
Aug 15, 2007

My favorite second life grief, sonic making GBS threads on sonic OC do not steal furry roleplayers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imd-AF6lIO0

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ki5cvEPu_e0

Daniel from SL does it again.

Montalvo
Sep 3, 2007



Fun Shoe
scroll up, you buffoon

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Not like anyone else is posting.

Love Stole the Day
Nov 4, 2012
Please give me free quality professional advice so I can be a baby about it and insult you

Dabir posted:

Not like anyone else is posting.
:words: incoming:


If I am good at anything when it comes to online video games, it's that I am a great pubbie wrangler and that I make shitters really, really, really mad.

I have plenty of stories over the years. Here's some Canterbury Tales poo poo since you guys seem to be in need to content itt:




Act 1 of 3
---

Last June, I tried out surfing in CSGO for the first time on a server called the "Smoker's Lounge" because it was the only one at the time that was populated. Mostly teenagers. Had a great time regardless, everything was good.

After a couple days, this guy comes into the server. Rank #3 and wants to make sure everybody knows it. Dude's obviously in his 30's and overweight. Total rear end in a top hat. Plays over other kids' micspam in order to blast his racist 4chan memelord bullshit every chance he gets, despite everyone asking politely for him to gently caress off. His username was "dj girth" (if you google that you will see what i'm dealing with here) and he was trying to troll some new kids or whatever by saying he'd "help them learn how to surf" only to yell at them until they leave.

I notice him screaming at some kid endlessly, so I call him out on it and start flaming him in chat because I'm listening to beach boys and poo poo instead of his memetrash. Since he has an IQ of 20, all he says is "lol ur unranked bruh" and "literally who?" Server takes my side and everybody joins in flaming him until he leaves.

The next day, I'm surfing and having a good time as before, when all of a sudden this jackass comes in and spends like a half hour throwing literally everything he has at me. I kept my mouth shut, recorded it, and sent it off to a couple admins who'd recognize me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcTqitWFkCk

Go to bed and wake up the next day. Admins PMing me: "THANK YOU! he's been on our shitlist for months but we haven't had any proof." :chord:


[I'd place a screenshot of that conversation here but I am permabanned from their server and forum because of the events that happen in...]



Act 2 of 3
---

3 months later. I had my fun surfing but now feel like going back and hanging out with the friends I made on that server. I show up and after a couple hours some teenager twat named "40" joins the server and immediately starts harrassing this one prepubescent kid that nobody had any problem with just because his voice was annoying. Called him a "squeaker", ranted for like a bit, etc etc. Kid isn't even fighting back, just trying to ignore him while the other teenagers laugh.

Incredulous at the irony, and remembering how appreciative the admins were last time... I alt-tab to start up Dxtory again. As I'm turning it on, the kid makes a quip at something this 40 twat says and everyone in the server cracks up. The guy immediately announces to the server that he's the owner of the server and that everybody better shut the gently caress up or you're banned. Kid obviously doesn't want any trouble, so he shuts up and continues surfing.

Thinking that this is one of those "my Dad works at Valve" bullshit things, and since there's nobody logged in as admin, I hit the record button... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLXzSK39ujQ

The next day I spend a good 30 minutes writing another effortpost PM to append onto the old conversation about the other cockgargler so they remember me. Two weeks later, the 40 guy injects himself into the PM conversation, says absolutely everything I described was horse poo poo, that I'm a huge human being, etc etc etc. I'm just like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and start recommending to my CSGO friends to avoid that server.





Act 3 of 3
---

Again, 3 months later. It's January 2016. I'm squad leading in this cool new game I got called Squad. Heard it was fun. Doing my pubbie wrangler thing and clowning on people for half an hour when all of a sudden, I hear some angsty teenager with a chip on his shoulder barking out orders and poo poo over the command radio. Wait a minute... I recognize that chair squeak noise...

I check the scoreboard and look who it is! "40 SLGaming.org" and a few of his buddies endlessly shilling his "laid back community" in the server's public chat.

One of the great things about this game Squad is that when you teamkill someone, only the teamkiller is notified so that the guy being teamkilled can't tell the difference. I immediately inform my squad that we have a new objective from HQ.

I only remember being surprised at how little effort it took to wrangle the pubbies into partaking in some good old fashioned blue-on-blue.



It was like 2012 DayZ all over again. Admins were nowhere to be seen and they had no idea for the first 15 minutes. He cried in the public chat until the map ended and then left when he realized nobody cared.



-fin-
I have more stories if needed.

Love Stole the Day fucked around with this message at 17:29 on Feb 26, 2016

Dark_Swordmaster
Oct 31, 2011
Did the old thread get killed due to hilarious irony or was it just because it was opened in 2008?

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Dark_Swordmaster posted:

Did the old thread get killed due to hilarious irony or was it just because it was opened in 2008?
It was moved to Comedy Purgatory to archive all the stories posted there.

AbrahamLincolnLog
Oct 1, 2014

Note to self: This one's the shitty one
Inadvertent griefing: JonTron and Ethan from h3h3 play CS:GO and are terrible. End up pissing off their teammates and making fun of them.

(Bit of a stretch, but not like anyone else is posting anything.)

Bonald Farndhardt
Apr 18, 2005
Ye it up
Here's Sir Nigel taking a jaunt through Ventrilo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsiSTX6ncDM

Hope you enjoy it!

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

In the catacombs of Dark Souls 3, there's a set piece where you cross a rickety rope bridge, then behind you a massive horde of skeletons assembles and starts chasing you. You run across the rope bridge, cut one of the supports and they all plunge into the abyss.

In case you somehow didn't know, in FromSoft action RPGs you can call on other players to help you deal with the challenges ahead.

Well, if one of those supposedly friendly players just happened to sprint past all the enemies you were fighting and chop the bridge before you could cross it, leaving you either falling into the chasm below or dealing with like thirty skeletons... some might call that unfortunate.

Horace Kinch
Aug 15, 2007

This thread needs some lovin', so here's one I remembered.

About 10-ish years ago, Coca Cola attempted their own Habbo Hotel clone called CokeMusic. It was more or less Habbo Hotel verbatim, except slightly less blocky. You could unlock furniture by getting points, and there were two ways of doing this: punching in codes found inside coke caps, or by making "songs" that other users could vote on. When making a song you had a bunch of pre-recorded clips you could pick from, 8 layers and about 30 seconds to play with. However, nobody said you had to actually make a song, you could just slap together 8 sound effects, and fill every layer with that sound for 30 seconds, resulting in a solid brick of terrible music guaranteed to ruin a player's eardrums. The best part about this though was that in the public lobbies there was a DJ Booth, and people would queue up to play their music and get points. I would go up and just expose all of these people to a tidal wave of snare drums, guitar riffs, piano medleys, and other assorted noise for 30 seconds. There was a rumor that if everyone upvoted a song they would get the super rare coke-couch for their personal rooms, so I was getting points for otherwise ruining everyone's eardrums.

It doesn't end there, you could make copies of your songs and hand them out to friends and strangers. I used the mountain of points I had collected from turning in Coke Caps (and asking my friends for theirs) to buy tons of expensive pixel-furniture. After luring in players with a room titled "FREE FURNITURE HERE!" I would ask them to point to a piece of furniture that they wanted and that they could have it one one condition: they must take a copy of my music bricks and play them in public. I would follow them to witness it. Watching 4-5 players at a time queue up in a public lobby and listening to all of them blast the room with effectively 2 minutes of noisy trash was simply the best. Players complained and mods were summoned, usually those players got kicked and so I never had to hold my end of the deal. I did this for months before getting bored. Eventually CokeMusic shut down.

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-


Pillbug
Oh wow, Habbo Hotel and Coke Music...ah, those were the days.

For those of you who are new to these forums there is a...well, type of person...called a Geno. Genos are followers of The Path. This path is grey. They are here to save us all from the scourge of prismatics.

Genos are all named Geno with a number. Goons from these fine forums would invade things like Habbo Hotel and Coke Music with hordes of people named Geno with a number on the end, preaching about The Path and encouraging others to abandon their prismatic lives and follow The Path. Proper Genos care about little and feel no emotions. Everything is Grey to a Geno.

In Coke Music there was a bit of a habit of Genos to make music and upvote it heavily to keep it in the rotation. It consisted of a single *donk* on a cowbell. Nothing else. Every Geno was expected to vote favorably for it and every Geno played that and nothing else.

Now, imagine a room that's half Genos all queuing up to play proper Geno music and always, always upvoting their fellow Genos.

AxisofIdiocy
Mar 5, 2009

What do you mean this
isn't the ketchup?
is it too late for this thread? can we bring back the jams?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=askFmcm3al0


also, that vid that Bonald Farndhardt posted is the poo poo. just sayin.

Guy Mann
Mar 28, 2016

by Lowtax
"I think dogs should be allowed to vote!!!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-3jDVTLdaQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orrcgpJ5tQ4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYnldxUpYQQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWvyJ05TdC8

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.


Grimey Drawer

ToxicSlurpee posted:

Oh wow, Habbo Hotel and Coke Music...ah, those were the days.

Cokemusic was the one where they staged an on-line mass suicide, wasn't it?

Bonald Farndhardt
Apr 18, 2005
Ye it up
Here's the latest Ventrilo Harassment. Maybe not griefing in the strictest sense but if you want to hear two rednecks getting very confused by pig squeals, you are in luck!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woXTgZas-zg

Love Stole the Day
Nov 4, 2012
Please give me free quality professional advice so I can be a baby about it and insult you
Just got done playing Squad. Those people take their tacticool operator stuff super duper serious.

When our team was getting backcapped endlessly and we were locked into our base, my pubbie squad was the only one not pinned down. So I said gently caress it lets go off to a random corner and draw some dicks on the map for the rest of the game. Everyone in the squad was 110% on board.

As we were working the taint, some random Medic from another squad comes by and starts yelling at me (because I'm the squad leader) because I'm not helping the team, it's all my fault that we're losing, etc etc. I tell him that we're busy having fun drawing a dick over here so gently caress off. He yells at me for a bit but we're busy having a karaoke contest on the squad radio so no one cares. After a minute of being ignored he decides to teamkill me for daring to disrespect him.

My pubbie squadmates all jump the guy instantly and they start humping his corpse endlessly while my medic gets me back up. He cries to the admin for help but the admin doesn't care because even he knows the game is over, so the medic guy changes teams and starts trying to solo snipe us every five minutes as he runs halfway across the map but fails miserably because one of my pubbies was a good shot apparently and we were trying to crash the server by spamming infinite smoke grenades. Brought my 60fps down to 10. Good times.

Anyway, next map rolls around and the same pubbies join my squad. We roll out with a logistics truck and start drawing some FOBs in the shape of a dick off in the corner of the map. We used Ammo Crates to form the balls. As one of the pubbies gets the logistics truck stuck and we're busy trying to gently caress with the physics to get the truck loose again, all of a sudden we hear some ghost voice yelling at us in direct chat. Apparently an admin decided to go into his super secret spectator mode and spy on us, but since he can't hear squad chat he has no idea what's going on.

The admin starts getting all aggressive. "What the gently caress are you doing all the way over here? Do you know where you are? Why are you here? Are you people retarded?" All of us just collectively ignore him as though we don't hear him and just continue taking turns with our karaoke contest on the squad radio. Eventually the admin gets super mad, at which point one of my pubbie squadmates takes charge and says "Hey, we're filming a video for our Youtube channel. We're testing the physics changes with the new update to see if we can find anything useful for interesting."

Admin completely bought it. All of a sudden he's super supportive and happy to have us on his server. I couldn't believe it worked!

As we continue building our massive cock, eventually we get bored because the logistics runs take too long and so we decide to just half-heartedly play normal. Throughout the rest of the match, random people are joining the squad for a minute just to yell at us and remind us that it's our fault we're going to lose in this video game and that we're all a bunch of god drat retards. In the last couple minutes of the game we have one last smoke party and leave the server, admins completely believing that they're going to end up in our Youtube video.

CainsDescendant
Dec 6, 2007

Human nature




Some nights I get drunk and hop on team fortress 2, name myself Crouching With Shovel, and proceed to do just that. Pick a soldier, whip out a shovel, and crouch walk everywhere. I do my best to fulfill objectives and kill dudes, and I've gotten really good at ganking spies who think I'll be an easy kill. Most people ignore me, some silently join my crusade, but some people lose their poo poo that I'm not contributing to the tense, strategic gameplay found on a casual server and it's never not hilarious.

My favorite game was when my entire team of pubbies declared me their general and formed a knot of crouch walking soldiers and medics around me as I silently crept to the capture point again and again.

DapperDraculaDeer
Aug 4, 2007

Shut up, Nick! You're not Twilight.
When I played WoW with goons the sound of my voice in vent made goons become irrationally angry. Eventually they banned me, which was pretty funny. That's my story about griefing.

Also on the subject of crashed MMO weddings I'm surprised the Goon Squad vs The Other Side thing hasn't been posted. Some Goons crashed some weirdo RP guilds wedding, then coaxed a furious redneck and his bride to be into vent to bear witness in a trial to purge the Goons who had dared to besmirch the good name of Goon Squad with such vile behavior. There's an audio file of the whole thing floating around out there some place but I can't find it.

DapperDraculaDeer fucked around with this message at 06:51 on Dec 27, 2016

Teriyaki Koinku
Nov 25, 2008

Bread! Bread! Bread!

Bread! BREAD! BREAD!

AbrahamLincolnLog posted:

Inadvertent griefing: JonTron and Ethan from h3h3 play CS:GO and are terrible. End up pissing off their teammates and making fun of them.

(Bit of a stretch, but not like anyone else is posting anything.)

Reading the pubbie chat as they dick around is hilarious.

"You aim like you have Parkinson's."

Teriyaki Koinku
Nov 25, 2008

Bread! Bread! Bread!

Bread! BREAD! BREAD!

ToxicSlurpee posted:

Oh wow, Habbo Hotel and Coke Music...ah, those were the days.

For those of you who are new to these forums there is a...well, type of person...called a Geno. Genos are followers of The Path. This path is grey. They are here to save us all from the scourge of prismatics.

Genos are all named Geno with a number. Goons from these fine forums would invade things like Habbo Hotel and Coke Music with hordes of people named Geno with a number on the end, preaching about The Path and encouraging others to abandon their prismatic lives and follow The Path. Proper Genos care about little and feel no emotions. Everything is Grey to a Geno.

In Coke Music there was a bit of a habit of Genos to make music and upvote it heavily to keep it in the rotation. It consisted of a single *donk* on a cowbell. Nothing else. Every Geno was expected to vote favorably for it and every Geno played that and nothing else.

Now, imagine a room that's half Genos all queuing up to play proper Geno music and always, always upvoting their fellow Genos.

Oh! So THAT'S where :geno: came from! :aaaaa:

I learned something today.

rap music
Mar 11, 2006

I do love me some griefin'. For context, Siege has a ton of new players as a result of being on sale at Christmas time. This round starts and ends in 4 seconds thanks to some expert spawn killing.

https://streamable.com/v1fic

Sit on my Jace
Sep 9, 2016

quote:

Let me tell you about last night. I still play the parts of characters I create on the spot over VOIP in Team Fortress 2. Rory Manion and I tend to take turns, with one of us coauthoring the goonery in Ventrilo, while the other talks to people playing the game. This time, Rory convinced one particularly uptight player that he was promoting the growing sport of competitive gaping. (Anyone unsure of what gaping was could turn to the wall that was likeliest to attract attention, and see Rory's TF2 “spray”: a photo taken from Something Awful's FYAD forum that depicts a wiry man squat on a catastrophically colossal dildo.) Let me be the first to insist that there's nothing funny about passing this picture while on your way to capture a flag. But when the Red Letter Media reviewer's voice calmly explains that the photo is of gaping champion Gary GuyGapes and his record-stretching performance at this year's Planet of the Gapes invitational, I pause. And when the same person flawlessly fields every incredulous question he raises, revealing that he's GapeEscape.com's webmaster; that he's a third generation competitive gaper whose grandfather pronounced “I could do this professionally” after falling on a railroad spike; and that although opioid use is banned -- “open-oids” in gaper slang, and for reasons that I trust are obvious – if he becomes the Barry Bonds of gaping, then so be it; I laugh out loud. And when that one particularly uptight and unsuspicious player is sanctimoniously screaming that his forebears fought in world wars while Rory's character and his clan shoved poo poo up their bums for sport it becomes hard to breathe.

(Source)

Paul.Power
Feb 7, 2009

The three roles of APCs:
Transports.
Supply trucks.
Distractions.

This was a very long time ago now, but I remember getting griefed pretty hilariously in TF2 one time.

It was shortly after the update that added Arena maps, those small maps where nobody respawns and the objectives are either eliminate everyone on the opposing team, or capture the single control point on the map.

Anyway, in this one game both teams had been reduced down to one player: an engineer on one team, and a scout on the other. Instead of trying to kill each other, the engineer and scout decided to cooperate, using the engineer's buildings (obviously no sentry!), the scout's double jump and the fact they could both stand on those buildings (the engy because an engy can stand on his own stuff, the scout because you can stand on enemy stuff) to see how high they could climb the level's architecture. Meanwhile, all the other players watched, some with amusement (myself included :)) and some with mounting frustration (causing even more amusement for those who could see the funny side of it). I have no idea if this was spontaneous cooperation or if they were on voice chat or something, but it was still pretty great.

Eventually the scout died from accumulated fall damage (because Arena maps have little to no health pickups), but it was great fun while it lasted.

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-


Pillbug

Teriyaki Koinku posted:

Oh! So THAT'S where :geno: came from! :aaaaa:

I learned something today.

Yup! Stuff like that was a time-honored goon tradition back in the day. Geno invasions haven't been a thing for a long while but there were a few games and websites (mostly now non-existent) that banned certain customization combinations on sight. Like if you made a grey guy in a grey tracksuit with a grey crew cut you just got autobanned.

A similar thing that just occurred to me was something goons did in EVE. Now, those that don't know EVE well don't know that it's really a griefer's paradise. CCP really did do a fine job of making every sort of awful thing you can do within the game just another part of it. The Great Eve War was a pretty bug gently caress crazy thing that will possibly never, ever be topped in game history. This is not the story of that; this is the story of something incredibly stupid.

The customization is different now but there was a time when the character portraits were based on squares you drug a square in. Similar to the Genos Goonfleet had a thing called the VCBees. There were standard races you picked, made female characters of, then drug your squares into particular corners. Your portrait had to have specific lighting and be facing directly forward. Your character was named VCBee###. You could have multiple characters on each account but only actually train one of them so you'd make one a VCBee and not intend on keeping it long. Everybody would pile into cheap noob ships.

Then they'd go around and harass miners in safe/semi-safe space while spouting absolutely mangled English in local, public chat. Common demands were GIEV MSSL and the like. Nobody is really sure just what the gently caress VCBees wanted missiles for but if you didn't GIEV MISSL you incurred the wrath of the VCBees who would then proceed to wreck your ship. Big mining ships were safe enough that the police would show up and blast the VCBees out of space but in places where the space police didn't show up were different. It was also quite different if there were like 60 VCBees (which happened with disturbing frequency) ganking a smaller mining ship. Completely new characters were blasting kind of expensive ships out of space on their first day of existence.

Remember, kids...when the VCBees show up and WNT MISSL you should GIEV MSSL.

AxisofIdiocy
Mar 5, 2009

What do you mean this
isn't the ketchup?

Somehow I knew this was going to be shawn elliott. I wish he would come back.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
daniel from sl makes america great again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K3bBqKRaGA

Love Stole the Day
Nov 4, 2012
Please give me free quality professional advice so I can be a baby about it and insult you

Volkerball posted:

daniel from sl makes america great again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K3bBqKRaGA

The "vote for daniel" part was the best

Railing Kill
Nov 14, 2008

You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Volkerball posted:

daniel from sl makes america great again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K3bBqKRaGA

What game was he playing that people can be held up at gunpoint to go fishing, or to need an Uber driver to get anywhere? I mean, it doesn't look good, but it looks great for griefing.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Love Stole the Day
Nov 4, 2012
Please give me free quality professional advice so I can be a baby about it and insult you

Railing Kill posted:

What game was he playing that people can be held up at gunpoint to go fishing, or to need an Uber driver to get anywhere? I mean, it doesn't look good, but it looks great for griefing.

It's a custom game for Arma 3 called "Life". It's one of those flytrap games for spergy autistic people with Napoleon complexes. It's a great game overall but it's a hell of a rabbit hole and has a poo poo social experience if you aren't playing with friends you know and trust.

  • Locked thread