Newbie adoption thread [a support thread for newbies]

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Do you adopted?
	Yes
	No

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

9hotonic posted:

Millions of newbies are living in absolute poverty. Regions like GBS and FYAD are filled with poor helpless new members. Will you adopt one today?

For just 2 easy payments of $4.99, you can adopt a poor newbie, and help guide them through this difficult time. That's just 3 fast payments of $9.99 to save a poor helpless dejected life. We're here with newbie "9hotonic" to talk about their issues:

Remember, just 5 simple quick transactions of $19.99 can help a newbie develop into an amazing poster. Will you leave them to be probated and banned? Or will you show the world your support for these poor confused newbies?

That's only 15 quick discrete online transactions of $99.99 to take the life of a precious newbie under your wing. Please give today and show everyone how much you care about poor newbies. Thank you and God/Buddha/Satan/Allah/Lowtax bless you.

- Save the Newbies� Director

# ? Feb 23, 2016 14:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 23:28

Piso Mojado

9hotonic posted:

Millions of newbies are living in absolute poverty. Regions like GBS and FYAD are filled with poor helpless new members. Will you adopt one today?

For just 2 easy payments of $4.99, you can adopt a poor newbie, and help guide them through this difficult time. That's just 3 fast payments of $9.99 to save a poor helpless dejected life. We're here with newbie "9hotonic" to talk about their issues:

Remember, just 5 simple quick transactions of $19.99 can help a newbie develop into an amazing poster. Will you leave them to be probated and banned? Or will you show the world your support for these poor confused newbies?

That's only 15 quick discrete online transactions of $99.99 to take the life of a precious newbie under your wing. Please give today and show everyone how much you care about poor newbies. Thank you and God/Buddha/Satan/Allah/Lowtax bless you.

- Save the Newbies© Director

lol

# ? Feb 23, 2016 14:38

City of Glompton

Piso Mojado posted:

lol

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Feb 23, 2016 16:03

MrWillsauce

can someone take me in and teach me how to be funny please? I've already got chilling down, I think, so I am not a newbie in that regard.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 19:38

FluffieDuckie

just a quick word to the newbies. if you aren't adopted don't get your feelings hurt. we have a very low adoption rate here. i think it's because yobbers are afraid of commitment. and work. they're afraid of work

i used to pick up all the unwanted newbies in these threads so they didn't feel rejected but frankly i can't fit any more in my house.

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? Feb 23, 2016 19:42

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

i found the desiccated corpse of a newbie behind my couch when i was cleaning up so I'm clearly not fit to adopt another

# ? Feb 23, 2016 20:43

Matoi Ryuko

Luvcow posted:

i found the desiccated corpse of a newbie behind my couch when i was cleaning up so I'm clearly not fit to adopt another

Warning to all newbies: your mentor may leave you to die, it's cruel but it happens.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 20:45

Saint Isaias Boner: hi how are you ♥

Matoi Ryuko posted:

Warning to all newbies: your mentor may leave you to die, it's cruel but it happens.

newbies : if this happens to you simply become a bone bud and turn the tables on that crusty mentor!

hi how are you ♥

# ? Feb 23, 2016 20:51

Matoi Ryuko

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

newbies : if this happens to you simply become a bone bud and turn the tables on that crusty mentor!

The newbie uprising has already begun!! :ohdear:

# ? Feb 23, 2016 20:54

Piso Mojado

Matoi Ryuko posted:

The newbie uprising has already begun!!

hello fellow lurkers. I'm with the revolution.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 20:57

Montalvo

I'm going to be a free agent :c00lbert:

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:22

b h m

Am I The Only Fucker Getting Adopted Or What

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:23

Matoi Ryuko

b h m posted:

Am I The Only Fucker Getting Adopted Or What

You're like the first round draft pick!

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:25

b h m

The rear end band will now play you their song of farts

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:26

City of Glompton

I'm a terrible adoptive mother, I'm sorry newbies

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:31

b h m

City of Glompton posted:

I'm a terrible adoptive mother, I'm sorry newbies

You make an egg-scellent mentor!!!! Be-leaf in yourself!!!

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:34

Saint Isaias Boner: hi how are you ♥

b h m posted:

You make an egg-scellent mentor!!!! Be-leaf in yourself!!!

i feel that that first part of that pun makes a lot of sense but the second bit doesn't quite hit home

maybe i'm just missing something :shrug:

hi how are you ♥

# ? Feb 23, 2016 22:01

the unabonger

i didnt know whether i should approach a newbie or let the newbies approach me

# ? Feb 24, 2016 00:11

Matoi Ryuko

i flunked out posted:

i didnt know whether i should approach a newbie or let the newbies approach me

We could assign you a newbie if you'd prefer!

# ? Feb 24, 2016 00:12

FluffieDuckie

i flunked out posted:

i didnt know whether i should approach a newbie or let the newbies approach me

crouch down to their level and hold a treat out in your open hand. Don't make eye contact right away you don't want to spook them

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? Feb 24, 2016 00:29

the unabonger

Matoi Ryuko posted:

We could assign you a newbie if you'd prefer!

I wouldn't mind that

FluffieDuckie posted:

crouch down to their level and hold a treat out in your open hand. Don't make eye contact right away you don't want to spook them

ive been rubbing my fingers together and making kissy noises, but so far nothings happened

# ? Feb 24, 2016 00:33

PinkoBastard

I like posting in the grey forums too, but there's something special about the yob, ya know?

# ? Feb 24, 2016 01:36

MrWillsauce

PinkoBastard posted:

I like posting in the grey forums too, but there's something special about the yob, ya know?

yobetcha

# ? Feb 24, 2016 02:00

Matoi Ryuko

MrWillsauce posted:

yobetcha

I'm adopting this guy too!!

# ? Feb 24, 2016 02:13

MrWillsauce

you are welcome to smoke a dewbie with this newbie

# ? Feb 24, 2016 02:36

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

MrWillsauce posted:

you are welcome to smoke a dewbie with this newbie

Your password to the BYOB deepweb drug emporium is on its way.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 24, 2016 03:11

breakfast dorito: doritos form part of a healthy breakfast (in theory) and should not be used as a primary source of nutrition (you don't tell me how to live)

i would request adoption but i fear you would just eat me

# ? Feb 24, 2016 10:05

Piso Mojado

Breakfast Dorito posted:

i would request adoption but i fear you would just eat me

I'll adopt this one based solely on having a great usernsme. how are you today, friend?

# ? Feb 24, 2016 13:40

9hotonic: (after hearing the library has games , i arrive at the front desk, disguised as a non-gamer)

"er.. im here for some.. book's"

can i actually get adopted i'm lonely :c

# ? Feb 24, 2016 14:25

Piso Mojado

9hotonic posted:

can i actually get adopted i'm lonely :c

okay, I'll adopt you both. 9hotonoc, I would,like to introduce you to your posting brother/sister Breakfast Dorito. You two will be great friends, and I'm already proud.

# ? Feb 24, 2016 14:37

breakfast dorito: doritos form part of a healthy breakfast (in theory) and should not be used as a primary source of nutrition (you don't tell me how to live)

Piso Mojado posted:

I'll adopt this one based solely on having a great usernsme. how are you today, friend?

i am good! one day I hope to be a Doritos� 3D�

Piso Mojado posted:

okay, I'll adopt you both. 9hotonoc, I would,like to introduce you to your posting brother/sister Breakfast Dorito. You two will be great friends, and I'm already proud.

i have always wanted a sister

9hotonic posted:

can i actually get adopted i'm lonely :c

I relate to your title text. Please don't eat me :3:

# ? Feb 24, 2016 14:44

9hotonic: (after hearing the library has games , i arrive at the front desk, disguised as a non-gamer)

"er.. im here for some.. book's"

Piso Mojado posted:

okay, I'll adopt you both. 9hotonoc, I would,like to introduce you to your posting brother/sister Breakfast Dorito. You two will be great friends, and I'm already proud.