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cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



Shortly after me and my wife moved into our new house we had one of her old work friends get very friendly again and want to come see us, so we invited them over for a drink, they turned up with binders full of marketing for an "opportunity" that was very basic energy/utility/insurance MLM. "Buy everything through our club and it's cheaper! No I can't give you specific values for energy prices, tariffs etc but if you sign up for 6 services there's an extra discount"

I said we'd find the cheapest ourselves thanks, they got a bit grumpy and awkward and my wife was upset I was being rude to her friends, until it was clear after an awkward silence that was all they wanted to talk to us about. Didn't want to ask how the kids were, see around the house, didn't even talk about what had happened in the last couple of years since they'd spoken, just MLM and gone.

Years ago I fell for the "I'm from your energy supplier can I see your meter, sign here to say we've inspected it". I was stoned and realised about ten minutes later, luckily the bills were included in the rent so I had no authority to change them in the first place

I also have a really nice fake watch I was hassled into buying at uni, I had £10 on me and wouldn't go to the cash point to get more so the guy kept dropping his price, starting at a bargain £250. It kept good time, I didn't have a watch before and it still works 15 years later so I think I got my money's worth for £10

I have to say I miss getting the terrible Kleeneze and betterware catalogues around Christmas, it was always entertaining seeing what astonishingly lovely crap people were buying.

cakesmith handyman fucked around with this message at 14:01 on Oct 12, 2016

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cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.




It's a long read but it comes down to "spam fake locations in maps for your business, drown out real businesses. Google half-heartedly hopes volunteers will police this"

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



To the cable company you are the product they sell to the advertisers i.e. Advert views hence they shovel as much garbage to you as possible so hey look! There are a million subscribers to your pyramid scheme channel, this is how much your adverts cost now.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



Those are terrible apps, don't install them.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



No they deliberately want people who fail the "obvious scan" warning signals.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



No that's basically it. You take the fall when drugs etc get delivered to your address. Considering you're all set up for posting packages out again and there will be evidence all over the place that you've done this they'll get you for dealing/distribution rather than possession.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



There won't be.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



I got called "Mr homeowner" once

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



The faster you gently caress off the quicker he can scam the next guy, that's all there is to it.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



Exactly where is the line on asking them to help with something? Septic tank? Burying a suspicious lumpy roll of carpet? Clay bar your truck?

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



MANime in the sheets posted:

I bought like 15 copies of Shower With Your Dad Simulator.

wat

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



What does your heart tell you?

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



How about "give control of your finances to a responsible adult, because drat"

I'm willing to be that responsible adult for a fee, you can trust me because I'm rich.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



It's the same van, possibly even the same steaks...

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



Panfilo posted:

Theres some weird context to this type of charge. Like if a guy in an auto shop drives your car to run some errands when you think it's being fixed, it's considered theft but the thief obviously intends to return the car and pretend they didn't drive it.

I was on Jury duty where a guy got charged something like that, because he 'borrowed' a car from his brother's repair shop,drove to a pharmacy with it, robbed the pharmacy for pills, then intended to return the car at the shop once he was done.

We have "taken without owners consent" here, or "that shifty bastard twoc'd your car John"

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



Well you're not wrong, the video is definite from before he died.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



How close do you have to be for it to work? Do I benefit from my neighbors having one?

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



That does not sound like a relaxing bath.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



There are animals with natural anti-freeze chemicals in their cells that allow them to survive freezing, even that article mentions it. Surprised some super rich Goober hasn't poisoned themselves to death trying to emulate that.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



BiggerBoat posted:

User name/post combo

Big Bird Energy

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



I turned 40 the other week and all the ads and spam I'm getting switched over to older man spam immediately, it's depressing.

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cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



Red Oktober posted:

If it looks like a relatively cheap item it might be a review scam. Companies order something cheap to a random's address and then write a 5 star review. Amazon calls this brushing

https://clark.com/shopping-retail/amazon-scam-brushing-warning-deliveries-you-didnt-order/.

If there some way to contact these guys and get them to send me stuff I didn't order? I don't give a poo poo, Amazon's terrible anyway why do I care if their broken review system gets broken. Worst case they send me trash, best car I get something either useful or that I can take apart for bits.

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