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Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Just know what the going rate is for the car you want and what interest rate you can get. The arithmetic from there is very simple to do at home before you walk into a dealership; you'll know that you expect to pay $X per month for Y months. After that the process is:

1. The salesperson will open with a comically inflated initial offer.
2. You tell them "I will sign at $X per month for Y months" and wait 15 minutes while they pretend to negotiate with their manager.
3. After they return and tell you they had to wrestle their manager to the ground and put them in a submission hold to do it, but they managed to get the manager to come down by 1% from the initial offer.
4. You say "Good day" and leave.
5. They'll try ANYTHING to stop you from walking out the door because the business model is built on the concept of fatiguing you into submission. Ignore them and LEAVE.
6. They'll call you later that day or the next day and try to persuade you to return and resume negotiating. Either you get their agreement on the phone to your terms, or you bid them farewell and hang up. (Protip: give dealerships a google voice or burner phone number if you don't want them periodically pestering you until the heat death of the universe.)
7. If they agree to your terms and then, once you're back in the dealership, attempt to alter the deal in any way whatsoever for whatever bullshit reason whatsoever, immediately leave and never return; this is a dealership that absolutely won't sell a car unless they're ripping you off.

For even better advice, the A/T car buying thread is here.

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Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


The no-questions-asked used car lot in my parents' town introduced the auto kill switches last year.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X



Yeah but gently caress poor people, they deserve it

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Lutha Mahtin posted:

the one time i got handed MLM crap it was a dude pushing poorly copied paper ads for an Herbalife seminar. i still don't know if that dude understood he was on the part of Lake Street where he was competing with people slinging actual drugs

At least heroin outperforms placebos!

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


The only time I was ever served a warrant it turned out to be for a career criminal with the same first and last name but a different middle name/initial. Someone at the courthouse done hosed up. It's an unusual name (career criminal dude is my second cousin I think but I've never met him) so I guess they were surprised there turned out to be more than one of them in the same county but never bothered to check any of the other identifying information I guess?

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Religious people are the target market for MLM for fairly obvious reasons

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Yeah, the first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club.

Shady mechanics are around but it's generally not hard to spot them though

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


My ex is a short cute blonde who also knows her poo poo when it comes to cars. It was always both painful and hilarious how many mechanics would be relatively straight with me but would try to rip her off if she went into the shop alone. Extra hilarious because of the way she'd own them before leaving. She got car knowhow and zero tolerance for bullshit from her dad.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Class Warcraft posted:

My parents bought ground beef from a guy in a van once. It had shards of bone in it that I chipped my tooth on. Don't buy van meat.

Also it probably wasn't beef.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Vlonald Prump posted:

Poor scamtraining, frustration, or unusual honesty in a scammer? You decide!

It's the scammer equivalent of the guy who walks around the bar hitting on every woman there. It requires very little effort and once in the while they happen upon someone stupid enough to fall for it. Just one hit on some naive old person's credit card is worth two weeks' worth of calling random Americans.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Absurd Alhazred posted:

I just got a weird email from a gmail account ostensibly belonging to my late grandma. It had a real weird looking image in it. I hope the preview reading process on the server side didn't get my account hacked, I sent an email to warn my Dad.

I keep a burner email in the contacts list of my real email to make it more likely I'll quickly know it if my real email gets compromised somehow.

e: dammit, didn't mean to double post

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Plus the fact that when you change your number there's an excellent chance the new number will turn out to also have formerly belonged to someone who wasn't in the habit of paying their bills and/or was in the habit of using their phone to sign up for harvesting promotions by the dozens.

I just don't answer the phone if it's not a number that's already in my contacts. I think that's what most people do.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


I'm pretty sure that as opposed to MLM scams that SHOULD be legally considered fraud, that IS legally considered fraud.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


BiggerBoat posted:

Are you female? Sounds like a foot fetish dude who wanted take them home smell them or something.

By no means does Michael Corleone being male rule this out

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Depressio111117 posted:

Oh good, I was wondering what song from middle school I was going to get stuck in my head this week

The radio stations played that song like twice an hour for four straight months in 2004 or whatever it was. It's not really a terrible song, pretty bland and boring really, but hearing it 15 times a day at work filled me with a raging desire to murder everyone who had anything to do with its production with a barbecue fork that still lingers to this day as deep loathing.

Well that's my story.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Last time I was at the dentist I heard Call Me Maybe and The Devil Went Down To Georgia back-to-back and I was like "what the hell radio station is this?" They have a custom playlist everyone who works there gets to contribute like 10 songs to or something.

e: Personally I would ask candidates at interviews for their 10 songs to contribute and use that to filter out undesirables I might otherwise have accidentally hired

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


There is nothing you can do when someone you know joins an MLM cult, nothing will ever persuade them they're wrong until being left, years later, with no money and no friends finally turns the light on. All you can do is

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Yeah I got that one too. It was comical how obvious a scam it was. Must have been 20 typos and Engrishes in it. The alleged transaction was dated 02 Mei 2018, which I assume is a Chinese personís attempt at spelling May (and as Apple is an American company they would use the weird American M-D-Y date format). It referenced an attached PDF but the attachment is in .docx format, since a PDF canít easily infect a computer with malicious macros. It was a treat, 9/10 would laugh at again.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


No I understood, I was just taking the opportunity to laugh at the last batch of AppIe scam emails that went around, they were even worse than usual

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Also might be someone trying to serve process

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Pharmaskittle posted:

I had a girl come knock on my door, hand me a single bottle of febreeze as my "gift," and give me a really generic company name. She didn't have any cards, a bag, or a car that I could see, and she wasn't sure whether they had a website. She also looked a little unhealthy and had lovely quality tattoos. She wanted to come into my house to look at my floor to give me a free estimate to do any repairs/cleaning. I handed her air freshener back and said no thank you.

I almost had trouble keeping a straight face as it went on and became more and more obvious that she just wanted into my house. She was pretty small and didn't appear to have a weapon, so I assume the idea was to look at my place and have her boyfriend come back and rob me later. All she learned was that I'm a big younger guy with a barking dog and at least one roommate, so that should hopefully put me low on any theoretical list of robbery targets.

I guess she could've just been an incredibly lovely door to door salesperson.

Itís like youíve never seen porn before

itís just a lovely business selling lovely flooring with pressure sales tactics

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


JacquelineDempsey posted:

It did occur to me that canvassing would be a perfect cover for casing out houses, though. Like, ring the bell and hear some giant dog barking its head off? Scratch that one off the list. See a baby grand piano through the front door glass? Hmm, maybe put a star by that one, they got some good poo poo in there.

You are not the first person to have this thought.

A+ post though, would read and chuckle at again

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Lutha Mahtin posted:

a lot of gas stations around here require entering the ZIP code (US postal code) of the card billing address before the pay-at-the-pump system will accept the card. dunno if you could get it to work with a foreign card

Yeah this is the new thing but in many cases you can steal a card, google the name on it and get that person's ZIP in about 5 seconds (or at least narrow it down to a handful of possibilities).

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Sorry to be the guy that pisses in the Cheerios but the amorphous entity known as The Bank is comprised of a whole bunch of individual persons, every single one of whom will regard eleven dollars and twenty-one cents as not worth their time.

Likewise, it's unlikely any law enforcement agency is going to get interested unless you can hand them proof that systematic fraud is going on. But--seriously--hell yeah, if I were in your position I'd be on a crusade about this too. gently caress those guys.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


I consider it more of a feature than a bug to keep everyone who takes the BBB seriously out of my customer pool, but that's just me

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Michael Lewis posted:

I'm now convinced that the worst thing a man can do with a telephone without breaking the law is to call someone he doesn't know and try to sell that person something he doesn't want.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


peanut posted:

Meanwhile Japan has beer vending machines and public day drinking is socially acceptable, if it's obvious you're not working/driving. Come to paradise ^___^

If you watch old TV shows from the 1950s/1960s it's kind of jarring how the characters are drinking pretty much all the time.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X




Years old now so update 2005 to 2010, but still accurate.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Personally, as a lifelong grammar nit and sometime editor/proofreader, I think dropping the entirely unnecessary words from "needs to be replaced" is a welcome development. Fight me.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


There's a list of stuff I think I'd rather die than go through. Some of it, like ALS, I'm very sure about. But a lot of it is in the category of it's real easy to say "I'd rather die than..." when death's not actually staring you in the face.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


"press 2 to flag this number in our records as real and live so we can continue calling it forever"

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


BiggerBoat posted:

What about software updates that pretty much wreck your poo poo? I updated my phone last week. It's not THAT old (3 years maybe) and was working fine until I installed their update and now it is noticeably slower navigating the menu, doesn't ring as loud for some reason and half of my settings have reverted back to ways I didn't want or have been moved somewhere.

I'm convinced that companies do this sort of thing intentionally to basically force you to buy newer hardware.

They do. Apple got caught red-handed at it and publicly admitted to it a few months ago.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Skimmer, probably

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


The best reason to use plastic for everything is that cash is a resort hotel for communicable cold/flu/etc germs

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Mustached Demon posted:

So is a credit scanner.

True, but germophobes like myself can carry our own stylus pens and never have to directly touch them

I actually read recently that at a modern fast food joint or gas station, youíre more likely to get sick from using the touchscreens to order food than from using the disgusting bathrooms. You can read anything, but it wouldnít surprise me at all if that were true.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Nice piece of fish posted:

Thanks for reminding me, I got myself a waterproof phone esp. to wipe it down for germs because ugh. What's best to use, just alcohol wipes?

I wouldn't use something that soaked with alcohol, just a soft cloth with a light spray of like 30% alcohol solution is fine

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


diadem posted:

What in sam hell just happened and what the scam here? There were onlookers who were sure that was a scam (since I side-stepped from the stairs into a crowd who saw the tail end), but none of us could figure out what the scam actually was. All she had to do was stay and I would have gotten her a T pass, which is at least worth some cash.

While my first guess is that she was a distraction so the big guy could mug me once I was distracted and it was just the three of us, why do it in such a sloppy manner (did he just not know the layout of the city as well as me or something)?

I think your first instinct was the right one, it was a botched semi-mugging (no gun or knife, just relying on the guy being huge and aggressive to intimidate you into giving up your money), they were probably new to this flavor of crime and still working out the program.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Hippie Hedgehog posted:

A round of golf applause for the man who comes out and proves himself an idiot for all the Internet to see, in order to educate and warn the masses about what a common scam looks like.



Yeah I actually kind of admire the guy for being willing to swallow his ego and tell the whole world how stupid he was.

Unfortunately very few of the kinds of people stupid enough to fall for a classic scam will ever read it, but hey. Even one sucker educated makes it all worthwhile.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Panfilo posted:

Bet that escalade was a lease, too.

Not sure about an Escalade specifically but you can rent a luxury SUV for $200-$300 a day depending where you are. Scoring over $1000 from just one mark covers the vehicle plus whatever you're paying the woman and two kids to participate (if they're not actually his own wife and kids) with a few hundo to spare. Pretty profitable scam if you're motivated enough to keep moving around every few days.

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Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


luxury handset posted:

in this economy the problem that wal mart and other companies who hire huge amounts of semiskilled/unskilled labor for minwage is that there is a very small pool of competent, unemployed, non-disabled workers who will show up on time and sober without trying to steal poo poo. everyone who would be an ideal fit to stock shelves or whatever already has a job or two. everyone else who walks through the door is going to have chronic back trouble, an opiate problem, multiple felonies, or some other combination of factors. so you can't really fire everyone and expect to be able to just check the next few hundred resumes on file like you could back in 2009

Sooner or later though 2009's economy will roll around again, and when that happens Walmart won't be the only company trying to force their employees to accept being paid in company scrip.

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