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Typically, I'll bring my breakfast to work with me since I get in around 7:30AM and I'm not on the clock until 8. This way, I can wind up my day, get some coffee and be full-speed by 8:30 at the latest. Most days days I've been puffing away on my vaporizer on the way into work and then I go get one of those nasty iced coffee in a can drinks. So 8:30 rolls around and I have to drop a monster deuce. Then I'll throw back about a liter/32oz of water over the next hour to hour and a half and then make another run to my private meditation chamber and catch up on some e-mail or shitpost on the forums for a few minutes. So what's your poop like at work? Do you freely poo poo or are you one of those folks who has to make sure nobody's in the bathroom or like, you put your legs up so nobody thinks there's somebody in the stall?  Please remember to refer to this chart whenever you're poop-posting. Thanks everyone and happy pooping! Ben Smash fucked around with this message at 21:20 on Feb 24, 2016 |
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Feb 23, 2016 16:29
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 21:21 |
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i'd rather poo poo my drat pants than poo in public, OP
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Feb 23, 2016 16:30
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I used to have an office that shared a wall with the men's bathroom and it was awful. No matter how loud I cranked my music I could still hear people taking a poo poo. This one guy would come in like clockwork, 10am and 2pm, and it was like a semi-auto series of gunshots and then silence and grunting. It was horrifying. Every now and then I would hear the president of my company come into the bathroom with his laptop, click clacking away and then he would make a phone call while taking a deuce. Was funny at first but then I wondered what would happen if a client figured out he was pooping while talking to them.AEMINAL posted:i'd rather poo poo my drat pants than poo in public, OP As somebody who has poo poo their pants in public, you don't want to do this. It is an awful, humiliating experience. It makes for a great storytelling set, though!
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Feb 23, 2016 16:31
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used to do this but my new office is kinda hosed up and like shares a bathroom with the backend of a restaurant and like doesnt even lock and has a shower inside it (maybe i should poop in it and stomp it down the drain right  ) and never has TP and the last tiem i bought some TP and tried to poop a cleaning lady walked in and thats how i found out hte lock didnt work and yeah now i just hold it or go to somewhere on my lunch break i miss getting paid to poop
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Feb 23, 2016 16:32
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Nooner posted:used to do this but my new office is kinda hosed up and like shares a bathroom with the backend of a restaurant and like doesnt even lock and has a shower inside it (maybe i should poop in it and stomp it down the drain right that's not healthy OP. You gotta just let it go and be without shame. Maybe get a bucket for your office or cube and then empty it out at the end of the day?
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Feb 23, 2016 16:35
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The shitter at my work gets cleaned erry day at approx 9 AM, and you can bet I'm in there at 9:15 taking it for a test run.
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Feb 23, 2016 16:39
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gannyGrabber posted:The shitter at my work gets cleaned erry day at approx 9 AM, and you can bet I'm in there at 9:15 taking it for a test run. It's disturbing the amount of shitter hawks hover around the bathroom when the cleaning sign is up, waiting for this opportunity.
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Feb 23, 2016 16:41
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Do you guys work together?
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Feb 23, 2016 16:43
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I work at a college campus. On my floor there's a handful of older guys in their 60's, one of them is always in the bathroom pooping and really smelling it up, so I go down stairs where it's mostly college students where I have to listen to people talking saying "like" all the time. I'll take that over gut wrenching stench. It sucks to poop at my work.
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Feb 23, 2016 16:44
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Mad Monk posted:I work at a college campus. On my floor there's a handful of older guys in their 60's, one of them is always in the bathroom pooping and really smelling it up, so I go down stairs where it's mostly college students where I have to listen to people talking saying "like" all the time. I'll take that over gut wrenching stench. I also work at a college and I guess the bathrooms in my building are fairly old as the grout has clearly absorbed every droplet of piss ever sprinkled on it in the last 30 years and reeks of soap and piss. Boys are gross.
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Feb 23, 2016 16:46
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I'm not wholly comfortable dropping a duker at work, but we have a really nice one person at a time bathroom and it can be a nice way to get a late afternoon break.
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Feb 23, 2016 16:46
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forget poopin' you ever J/O at work? 
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Feb 23, 2016 16:54
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Ben Smash posted:I used to have an office that shared a wall with the men's bathroom and it was awful. No matter how loud I cranked my music I could still hear people taking a poo poo. This one guy would come in like clockwork, 10am and 2pm Those are the exact times I get up to have a poo poo at work everyday This stall shares a wall with the women's room though
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Feb 23, 2016 16:58
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Feb 23, 2016 16:59
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We have two unisex bathrooms directly across the hall from our front door. They each get clogged fairly regularly when assholes jam it up with the paper towels used to dry your hands. They have flooded several times, once bad enough that we had to evacuate our office for about 3 months. The toilets themselves are usually smattered with menstrual blood, runny poops and shotgun blasts of turd bits. It's a real hoot. About once every 2 or 3 weeks someone takes a picture of something really gross in there and circulates it around the office.
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Feb 23, 2016 17:06
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I thought the OP was going to regale us with their poop cam model career stories. Misleading as gently caress, OP, voted 1.
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Feb 23, 2016 17:39
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whats up, dog poo poo?
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Feb 23, 2016 17:40
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Great thread For reddit
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Feb 23, 2016 17:48
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dad gay. so what posted:whats up, dog poo poo? thanks for contributing. I'm guessing you don't have a job.
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Feb 23, 2016 18:20
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Nooner posted:forget poopin' you ever J/O at work? Someone had to lower the tone. Great work! 
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Feb 23, 2016 18:23
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A nice cake is waiting for you.
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Feb 23, 2016 18:51
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I work in a job where I have to track my chargeable time. I charge my clients for when I poop. So not only do I get paid for pooping, but my employer charges someone else for my pooping too. If we lived in a communist society I would get paid the full value of what my a us produces, instead of the capital owners taking all that excess value.
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Feb 23, 2016 18:59
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Angela Christine posted:The main form of poo poo that still needs large scale shoveling by hand: Shitbergs. this is from another thread but holy god if it is not relevant
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Feb 23, 2016 19:00
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Nooner posted:forget poopin' you ever J/O at work?
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Feb 23, 2016 19:03
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numberoneposter posted:yes im a professional cam whore fuckboi Do you also get paid to poop?
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Feb 23, 2016 19:16
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Ben Smash posted:Do you also get paid to poop? 
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Feb 23, 2016 19:17
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gonna poop on the clock soon. after my second cup of coffee
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Feb 23, 2016 19:17
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I participated in a medical study where I was paid to send my poop through the mail, I believe I've made 500 bucks from it over six months. they made me sign a form to say I was giving up the ownership of my poop
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Feb 23, 2016 19:18
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I work with a funny little dude around 60 or so whose vocal cords have no off switch. He's just talking all the time, if he has no one to talk to he just walks around muttering to himself. He's always super positive saying stuff like "great day!" And "that was an amazing lunch, woooo!" To himself so no one cares that he never shuts up. Problem Is he doesn't shut up on the toilet either. The soundtrack of him pooping goes like this: "Doo do dooo doooo, doot doo doo HRRRRNNNGGGGGH! Doo doo dooot doo doo, HRRRRRRNNNNGGGGGG! Oh my! Hmm hmm hmmmm hmm hmmmmm, tsh tsh tsh tsh HRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGH!"
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Feb 23, 2016 19:20
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Getting paid to poop at the moment. Kind of struggling, I don't know if this food baby is gonna make its way out right now. Pray for me.
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Feb 23, 2016 19:40
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Kurtofan posted:
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Feb 23, 2016 19:43
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I work from home so I get paid to poop and also paid to browse around SA on my personal laptop so they are none the wiser!
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Feb 23, 2016 20:00
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Also, at my last job, the main bathroom just had one stall right next to one urinal. I can't tell you the number of times I was in there taking a crap and some dude with a shy bladder would come in, stand silently in front of the urinal for 30 seconds, sometimes slightly grunting, then sigh and zip back up. I think we've all suffered from the shy bladder before though, so I don't judge.
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Feb 23, 2016 20:02
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numberoneposter posted:50 roses don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free~~ Kurtofan posted:I participated in a medical study where I was paid to send my poop through the mail, I believe I've made 500 bucks from it over six months. it's always emotional to see them go off on their own
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Feb 23, 2016 20:04
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OctoberBlues posted:Also, at my last job, the main bathroom just had one stall right next to one urinal. I can't tell you the number of times I was in there taking a crap and some dude with a shy bladder would come in, stand silently in front of the urinal for 30 seconds, sometimes slightly grunting, then sigh and zip back up. I think we've all suffered from the shy bladder before though, so I don't judge. No way dude, I'll piss wherever. Free your urine, man!
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Feb 23, 2016 20:08
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Literally doin' it right now. Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time. Feels good, man.
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Feb 23, 2016 21:06
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slammin that ammodium AD, son; ain't got time to poo poo
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Feb 23, 2016 21:08
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cram me sideways posted:slammin that ammodium AD, son; ain't got time to poo poo If you don't want to poop during work I hear opiates make you constipated so make l maybe do some heroin?
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Feb 23, 2016 21:59
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nice lifehack op 
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Feb 23, 2016 22:03
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 21:21 |
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you drop sixteen loads and whatta you get another day older and deeper in debt st peter dont you call me cause i can't go i drank some more coffee and gotta blow
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Feb 23, 2016 22:04
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