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Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 14 days!



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Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

The preceding post has been paid for by the new World order.



It was never clearly explained why a three year old was still in diapers

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

Booyah


Ultra Carp

RBA Starblade
Apr 27, 2008

Going Home.


Pastry of the Year posted:

let me just say this: a fellow saying he "makes the best chili" is as common as a mile marker on a highway

what is LESS common is any given fellow losing a chili cookoff to some broad that shoved chicken and cheese and white sauce and all other manner of thick dairy whatever into a slow cooker and presenting it as chili

that poo poo was whiter than the underside of my forearm

I love my new home in the Unspecified Midwest but I ask you

I wouldn't call that chili but I'd probably shove it into my face very quickly

Leviathan Song
Sep 8, 2010


Submarine Sandpaper posted:

it wasn't a restaurant.

Sorry , I missed that part. I hate misnamed stuff at restaurants but someone's house is a whole different thing.

zedprime posted:

Most chilis are a pile of carbs though. With corn, rice, maybe cornstarch if the chef is sensitive about the thickness and doesn't want chunks of carbs. Beans tend to lean heavy into carbs too although we cullinarily treat them as protein.

There are certain chili enthusiasts who like to be like "behold the spoon stands up in my no added bean or carb chili" but let's be real, those are warm chili flavored aspics.

I've never once seen chili with rice though. Where on earth is that a thing? I think we may be living in parallel universes if this is your chili experience.

cambrian obelus
Sep 14, 2010

I've never seen a French woman before!


Soiled Meat

Leviathan Song posted:


I've never once seen chili with rice though. Where on earth is that a thing? I think we may be living in parallel universes if this is your chili experience.

Hawaii. Thatís where my parents picked up the habit , and chili comes on top of a bed of rice in my house.

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

SHUT
THE
FUCK
UP!
BIIITCH!




Chili on top of spaghetti/elbow noodles is everywhere around here and I don't hate it

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003


Yams Fan

cambrian obelus posted:

Hawaii. Thatís where my parents picked up the habit , and chili comes on top of a bed of rice in my house.

Sounds good to me

zedprime
Jun 9, 2007

yospos


On rice is a classic Tex Mex presentation.

Casu Marzu posted:

Chili on top of spaghetti/elbow noodles is everywhere around here and I don't hate it
Are you sure it isn't coney sauce. J/K no chili rules. Chili anarchy reigns.

d3lness
Feb 19, 2011

Unicorns are metal. Gundanium alloy to be exact...



Have another drive-by chef's club.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CAVqj3...d=11nx7x7yscey6

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

Wish I had money to replace my AV, that was ripped from me during a mayo challenge, with this. Lol fuck spending more money on this site tho.



Why do this? You can't eat it all together, you have to totally deconstruct it to eat it. Part of the beauty of cooking is like not just stacking various edible things but making them into a cohesive dish.

Freaquency
May 10, 2007

"Yes I can hear you, I don't have ear cancer!"

LifeSunDeath posted:

Why do this? You can't eat it all together, you have to totally deconstruct it to eat it. Part of the beauty of cooking is like not just stacking various edible things but making them into a cohesive dish.

Theyíre just visual spectacle for clicks, no one who is watching is actually going through the entire process to put this together. Itís why some of these cooking channels have started to just outright make poo poo up like that strawberry ice cream icing from last year - almost no one is going to try it, and those that do are probably going to think that they just hosed it up, not that they were outright lied to.

Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

High Energy, Good Feeling!



LifeSunDeath posted:

Why do this? You can't eat it all together, you have to totally deconstruct it to eat it. Part of the beauty of cooking is like not just stacking various edible things but making them into a cohesive dish.

It's entirely meant to be visually appealing for clicks.

All this chef's club poo poo would end up as a greasy mess, since they always have uncooked bacon that they bake off with the drippings ending up in the dish, you can see the 1/4 layer of fat sitting on top of the sour cream when they pull it out, that pizza dough's gonna be nasty and greasy af.

It's still better than those content farm cooking videos where it's literally impossible to recreate the dish as shown.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010




Huh.

Entirely meant to be visually appealing. Not meant to actually be recreated, because it would be messy and difficult. And anyway - not intended to be instructional, just to tickle some instincts in your brain. To make you want something like it, sure, but you'll settle for a substitute, like maybe you'll make a sandwich. And all produced to make a bit of cash.

This right here is the actual literal food porn.

Internet Wizard
Aug 9, 2009

BANDAIDS DON'T FIX BULLET HOLES


zedprime posted:

Most chilis are a pile of carbs though. With corn, rice, maybe cornstarch if the chef is sensitive about the thickness and doesn't want chunks of carbs. Beans tend to lean heavy into carbs too although we cullinarily treat them as protein.

There are certain chili enthusiasts who like to be like "behold the spoon stands up in my no added bean or carb chili" but let's be real, those are warm chili flavored aspics.

mad-max-that's-a-trap.gif

This is why defining "chili" is important, otherwise it's just a weird disappointing stew

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

The preceding post has been paid for by the new World order.



Easy, once it has beans, it's no longer chili.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003


Yams Fan

If we make chili rules, then we must make pizza rules

Internet Wizard
Aug 9, 2009

BANDAIDS DON'T FIX BULLET HOLES


Iron Crowned posted:

If we make chili rules, then we must make pizza rules

Good

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


Iron Crowned posted:

If we make chili rules, then we must make pizza rules

You say that like it's a bad thing.

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

Wish I had money to replace my AV, that was ripped from me during a mayo challenge, with this. Lol fuck spending more money on this site tho.



Iron Crowned posted:

If we make chili rules, then we must make pizza rules

History is written by winners, and Pizza is king, you fool.

eating only apples
Dec 12, 2009

Shall we dance?



Lipstick Apathy

Randaconda posted:

It was never clearly explained why a three year old was still in diapers

Have you ever met a three year old?

Just, I work with them and it is not at all unusual, some kids potty train before 3 but most not. I've worked with 4 year olds who still aren't there. If your kid potty trained at 2, you're one of the lucky ones, trust me. I don't want to be changing a giant 4 year old's nappy any more than you would like it. Sometimes they're just not ready, and sometimes their parents won't let them be ready.

Anyway this is... not the thread for giant baby talk.


This is impressively weird. Why bake the dip? Why have the dip on the side, clearly unbaked, at the end? What does baking the sour cream and green onion thing add to any of it??

TheAardvark
Mar 3, 2019



thread inspired me to make some chili tonight. I grew up on generic "McCormick Packet Chili" with ground beef and beans. now that i'm an adult i THROW THAT poo poo AWAY.

jk i actually still use the packet and then add extra cumin and chili powder. Not that I don't make legit chili occasionally, but nostalgia is a bitch.

WITCHCRAFT
Aug 28, 2007

Berries That Burn


I make a range of chilis and chili-like products. The common denominator is a thick sauce that is primarily flavored by chili peppers.

The chili of my childhood is ground beef, kidney beans, diced bell peppers, diced onions, and whole stewed tomatoes. Seasoned with chili powder out of the shakey jar and a small amount of red pepper flakes. Served with shredded cheese on top and tortilla chips (and also a spoon, you will run out of chips before you're done).

Mrs. Witchcraft's family's chili is about the same, but no bell peppers. Seasoned with Goya sazon, less chili powder, and Goya sofrito. No cheese, no chips. Served over rice.

My favorite chili is hefty chunks of pork shoulder, onions, [one each of every pepper from the produce section that looks plump and just shy of going soft], and stewed whole tomato in a slow cooker goin' all day long. Seasoned with canned chipotles in adobo, diced garlic, garlic powder, cumin, and a flat tablespoon each of cocoa powder and instant espresso granules. Served with tortilla chips. No cheese.

My second favorite chili is roughly the same as above, but with ground turkey meat, and chickpeas. Instead of chipotles in adobo, mix of paprika and smoked paprika and red pepper flakes. Extra cumin. Dash of coriander seed powder. Over rice.

I made "white chili" a few times, slow cooking boneless chicken thighs and navy beans and hungarian wax peppers. Light on the cumin, extra peppers, extra diced garlic. Served with pepper jack cheese on top and tortilla chips. It was good but Mrs. Witchcraft refuses.


I would happily plow through a bowl of any of those, and basically any chili that is not burnt or inedibly salted or something like that.

Chili is like pizza. Even if it's not that great, or it's kind of weird for your tastes, it's still chili. It is a savory wet amalgam of foods that compliment each other. You have to really gently caress up to make it actively taste bad, as opposed to tasting "bad" because it is not the right kind of chili.



Tangentially, my father in law makes the weirdest "baked beans" I have ever eaten, but it's great and I'll eat it any day. Casserole dish of canned premade baked beans with brown sugar and bacon/pork fat. Riddled with chunks of ground beef, hot dog slices, chopped bacon, chopped onions. You put it all in a bowl with yellow mustard and brown sugar to taste, plop it in the casserole dish, and bake. Also served with rice. My family makes it with canned baked beans in a casserole dish topped with a bacon lattice and brown sugar.

WITCHCRAFT has a new favorite as of 04:45 on May 21, 2020

RoeCocoa
Oct 23, 2010



I once told my brother that chili is American curry, and he stopped speaking to me for the better part of a day.

I like chili. I like mushrooms. I like most of the pictures I found when I searched for "mushroom chili." I don't like this at all.

Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

High Energy, Good Feeling!



Love all the pictures of burnt sausage grease in that recipe, JFC that's awful, the textural component of added mushrooms to chili is the stuff of nightmares

This is as a man who has hiked 9 miles with a Nalgene full of frozen (Turkey and bean, sorry) Chili, enough to share with a random stranger who shared his beer.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


Elviscat posted:

This is as a man who has hiked 9 miles with a Nalgene full of frozen (Turkey and bean, sorry) Chili, enough to share with a random stranger who shared his beer.

Don't apologize for turkey chili. Turkey is low key good as gently caress in chili and extremely underrated. I like to go 50/50 turkey and beef.

KHLAV KALASHNIKOV
Nov 13, 2005



RoeCocoa posted:

I once told my brother that chili is American curry, and he stopped speaking to me for the better part of a day.

I recall someone saying that in this thread, probably a year or so ago. I was just about to mention it myself. What the h*ck is wrong with your brother.

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 14 days!





quote:

Daughter sent this dish! I’m probably really delicious for originality and the view is not aesthetic! Stuffed rooster heads, take a note!

CannonFodder
Jan 26, 2001



Passion’s Wrench

I'll take a "Nope"

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012



College Slice

RoeCocoa posted:

I once told my brother that chili is American curry, and he stopped speaking to me for the better part of a day.

Was he offended on behalf of chili, or on behalf of curry?

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

Wish I had money to replace my AV, that was ripped from me during a mayo challenge, with this. Lol fuck spending more money on this site tho.



Colonel Sanders only wants one thing, and it's disgusting.

mng
Nov 18, 2006

I just performed testicle surgery on the reporter!

A delectable chicken goiter.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010




Usually scrolling down is the adventure but I only consciously saw the bottom and thought, huh, chicken skin sausage, bit weird but that might OH NO NO

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

The preceding post has been paid for by the new World order.



theironjef
Aug 11, 2009

The archmage of unexpected stinks.


Resting Lich Face posted:

Don't apologize for turkey chili. Turkey is low key good as gently caress in chili and extremely underrated. I like to go 50/50 turkey and beef.

My chili is a pound of beef and a pound of Mexican style pork chorizo and sure it may be my wet brown tombstone but gently caress is that ever a good base.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


theironjef posted:

My chili is a pound of beef and a pound of Mexican style pork chorizo and sure it may be my wet brown tombstone but gently caress is that ever a good base.

Holy poo poo I never thought of using chorizo.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


I'm picturing a good inch of orange grease on top of that chili and you know what that's okay

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

The preceding post has been paid for by the new World order.



BMX Ninja
Oct 18, 2014



theironjef posted:

My chili is a pound of beef and a pound of Mexican style pork chorizo and sure it may be my wet brown tombstone but gently caress is that ever a good base.

Chorizo in chili is good stuff. Although I think chorizo is slightly different on your side of the Atlantic than the stuff we have here.

Minced lamb is a good beef substitute. It works better if you're making a milder chili that allows the richer flavour of the lamb to come through.

I made a Scottish chili once using haggis instead of minced beef. It was supposed to be a joke, but turned out really good. I think being less dense than minced beef and being only partly meat allowed it to soak up a lot more flavour.

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Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

The preceding post has been paid for by the new World order.



wtf is "mild" chili

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