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bony tony
Aug 9, 2013



Trip Report: The ”Cash Crab”

I said I was going to eat a hot dog with a bunch of garbage on it, and here we go.

In keeping with standard trash panda rules, I only bought the cheapest ingredients. The sauerkraut was made by a friend of mine.

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

A King's Hawaiian dinner roll.

I’m sorry, FAI, I couldn’t find Hawaiian rolls, and I wasn’t going to bake them myself. I drank pineapple juice and used milk-based buns, so it should be okay.

Here are all the ingredients. I'm sure you can make them out. Don’t worry, I didn’t make six, that’d be disgusting. I made two.



And here they are again, being carefully washed. Again, trash panda rules.




Frying the bacon.



Frying the dogs.



Here’s the basic setup. I had to use a plate, because the dogs were too big for the buns. There's a sex joke in there somewhere, see if you can find it.



Dog assembly. I did put additional sauerkraut on top, I just forgot to take a photo.





First forkful, with every ingredient.



Going into goon mouth.



Reaction shot



Seriously, peeps, this was great. It looks like a pile of crap, but tasted awesome. 5/5, will make again. The pineapple juice worked really well with the jalapenos, too, since it cooled down the relative heat of the peppers.

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cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



I honestly can't figure out which is my favourite part: That you actually washed it all, or that you used brioche.

PCOS Bill
May 12, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


You needed to cool down jalapenos.

You needed to cool down jalapenos.

Un chien andalou
Oct 22, 2008

The pipe is leaking

fleshy echidna posted:

Holy poo poo how much foie gras can one person eat?



How about a foie gras cake? This was the appetizer (!) at the Pied de Cochon's sugar shack this year, and I foolishly ate 3/4 of it before losing my appetite and consuming paltry quantities of the subsequent 8 courses.

Still would again.

FYI the stuff dripping from it is maple butter, the green is pistachio cake and the red is some sort of terrine.

bony tony
Aug 9, 2013



PCOS Bill posted:

You needed to cool down jalapenos.

You needed to cool down jalapenos.

What can I say? I'm a babyman with a babypalate.

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~


College Slice

Tasteful Dickpic posted:

Trip Report: The ”Cash Crab”



Props for your commitment to the project. Sorry you couldn't find any Hawaiian rolls, but your makeshift replacement seemed to work just fine.

also the use of brioche is killing me

Pomp
Apr 3, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 20 days!


PCOS Bill posted:

You needed to cool down jalapenos.

You needed to cool down jalapenos.

you eat your steak well done

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

When I press the special key
it plays a little melody



Nap Ghost

R.I.P Stebe

The Ferret King
Nov 23, 2003

cluck cluck

Pomp posted:

you eat your steak well done

Hahahaha.

Yeah besides, it's just flavor and sensation contrast. Sweet offsets spicy. It's a real thing

Hra Mormo
Mar 6, 2008

The Internet Man


cash crab posted:

A Cash Crab is

1) Straight Honey

2) Mustard

3) Sauerkraut

4) Bacon

5) Jalapenos

6) More sauerkraut



What about honey mustard?

bony tony
Aug 9, 2013



Honey mustard is an abomination unto the Lord.

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP



Tasteful Dickpic posted:

Honey mustard is an abomination unto the Lord.

Correct.
Give me English mustard or give me death.

PCOS Bill
May 12, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


Pomp posted:

you eat your steak well done

Yeah I totally cook all my food.

The Ferret King
Nov 23, 2003

cluck cluck

PCOS Bill posted:

Yeah I totally cook all my food.

Oh stop it. It's your preference and that's fine.

Shneak
Mar 6, 2015

"Doctor, listen to me and listen to me closely.
You're gonna witness all the days..."




LITERALLY A BIRD posted:



SHUT UP!! Dunkaroo Dip.

Catching up with this thread and y'all should never forget.

subpar anachronism
Jan 15, 2005

I think I'll try drinkin' tonight.


Roro
Oct 9, 2012

HOO'S HEAD GOES ALL THE WAY AROUND?



Vomit cake.

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



Hra Mormo posted:

What about honey mustard?

Honey, and then mustard. Otherwise, it is a knock off Cash Crab. Serviceable, but not perfect. I'm even waffling on a brioche Cash Crab.

Also,I think it's time to discuss bad school lunches again. I'm in that sort of mood.

cyberia
Jun 24, 2011

Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

School lunches, you say?


code:
Rice
Anchovy massacre 
Curry fishfish
Cell replication soup
Radish kimchi













code:
They ran out of food at lunch today and they just started giving them rice and cheese.

code:
My friend found these lovely bugs in her school lunch today









code:
A friend’s school lunch had a rock in the peas, just to make sure we get all our minerals.










Marius Pontmercy
Apr 2, 2007

Liberte
Egalite
Beyonce


cyberia posted:

School lunches, you say?





A lot of girls with eating disorders had these raw lunches in small portions (three blueberries).

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die





No where in the instruction for SHUT UP!! Dunkaroo Dip did it say to bake it, goddammit.

Kilo147
Apr 14, 2007

You remind me of the boss
What boss?
The boss with the power
What power?
The power of voodoo
Who-doo?
You do.
Do what?
Remind me of the Boss.



My school lunches were never that bad. Jesus, where is that, the deep south?

Pomp
Apr 3, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 20 days!


Kilo147 posted:

My school lunches were never that bad. Jesus, where is that, the deep south?

i'm from east texas and never had anything that bad, so it's gotta be pretty fuckin' deep

AnonSpore
Jan 19, 2012

Bear Witness

The first one is from Korea.

Rice, joraengi tteokguk which is basically tteokguk with the rice cakes in the shape of those cell division things, pan-fried anchovies, battered and fried fish, and kkakdugi. That said it's cafeteria food and the portions are criminal so I can't imagine it tastes that great.

Tiberius Thyben
Feb 7, 2013

Gone Phishing



I'm the posters falling for PCOS Bill.

Also, time for some gluten-free vegan, courtesy of "A Gluten-Free Vegan Mom Who Knows: A raw, grain-free, corn-free, soy-free, oil-free, celiac mama raising her two healthy celiac girls."

Raw Creamy Tomato Sauce posted:

The first step to keeping this recipe raw is to mix the following ingredients in a blender:

1 Large Ripe Tomato (roughly chopped)
1/2 Cup Raw Cashews
1 Tablespoon Tomato Paste
1/4 Cup filtered water
1/4 Teaspoon Sea Salt
1/4 Teaspoon Cracked Pepper
1 Large Handful of Fresh Basil

Since I experience an unpleasant gastrointestinal reaction to garlic, I will not add garlic to my sauce.

Add all ingredients and blend (the following pictures are from my first attempt without the basil, pepper and salt — all three ingredients enhance the taste immensely).

Set aside your raw sauce until your GF pasta and/or rice is cooked and ready

Only registered members can see post attachments!

SpaceGoatFarts
Jan 5, 2010

sic transit gloria mundi



Nap Ghost

cyberia posted:

School lunches, you say?


code:
Rice
Anchovy massacre 
Curry fishfish
Cell replication soup
Radish kimchi













code:
They ran out of food at lunch today and they just started giving them rice and cheese.

code:
My friend found these lovely bugs in her school lunch today









code:
A friend’s school lunch had a rock in the peas, just to make sure we get all our minerals.












I'm certain the US education not only wants to dumb children down, it wants to kill them too.

RareAcumen
Dec 28, 2012






I'm really looking forward to Last Week Tonight tackling our crumbling schools and the food they're serving.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.



KILL YOUR STUPID SELF

cash crab posted:

A Cash Crab is

1) Straight Honey

2) Mustard

3) Sauerkraut

4) Bacon

5) Jalapenos

6) More sauerkraut



No way, it's:

1. vegan challah

2. refried beans mixed with pickle chips

3. butter lettuce

4. grilled butter lettuce

5. currywurst

6. snails

CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013



cyberia posted:



code:
They ran out of food at lunch today and they just started giving them rice and cheese.

Holy poo poo. It's Invader Zim skool food.

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~


College Slice

Kilo147 posted:

My school lunches were never that bad. Jesus, where is that, the deep south?

Couple of those are picture-perfect rural poverty lunches in the Midwest.

This one stands out as particularly similar to lunch on a good day:


Our fruit would've been ladled unceremoniously from one of those enormous cans, though, and they would've saved money by not giving us mustard.


What's happened here is they'd planned on tomato soup and grilled cheese and ran out of bread mid-week, which happened a few times a month.


That's chickencheese, you dolt. Would've killed for one back then. Kids these days

also lol at kids only taking one or two items and posting a photo of the lunch online as if that's all they were served that day

deadly_pudding
May 13, 2009

who the fuck is scraeming
"LOG OFF" at my house.
show yourself, coward.
i will never log off


GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

also lol at kids only taking one or two items and posting a photo of the lunch online as if that's all they were served that day

Yeah, this is a thing. School lunch is a total shitshow, but they do offer various sides that resemble a starch or vegetable. Sometimes there's even salad.

It's still a garbage meal, but the reason the program exists in its modern incarnation is mostly to provide an affordable meal to children from impoverished backgrounds. The National School Lunch Program was signed into effect in 1946 in response to the sheer gigantic number of military volunteers who were rejected for World War 2 due to stunted growth and other issues caused by childhood malnutrition. Of course, this being America instead of France, the budget is cut to a bare minimum and we get weird handwaving on things like, "Yeah, this ghostly smear of tomato sauce is totally a serving of vegetables."

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013



rrrrrrrrrrribs







edited to add bonus rrrrrrrrrrribs

Pastry of the Year has a new favorite as of 13:34 on Apr 19, 2016

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


deadly_pudding posted:

Yeah, this is a thing. School lunch is a total shitshow, but they do offer various sides that resemble a starch or vegetable. Sometimes there's even salad.

It's still a garbage meal, but the reason the program exists in its modern incarnation is mostly to provide an affordable meal to children from impoverished backgrounds. The National School Lunch Program was signed into effect in 1946 in response to the sheer gigantic number of military volunteers who were rejected for World War 2 due to stunted growth and other issues caused by childhood malnutrition. Of course, this being America instead of France, the budget is cut to a bare minimum and we get weird handwaving on things like, "Yeah, this ghostly smear of tomato sauce is totally a serving of vegetables."

Good school lunches are the quickest, cheapest and easiest way of getting grades up across the entire board, so naturally we can't have that here

deadly_pudding
May 13, 2009

who the fuck is scraeming
"LOG OFF" at my house.
show yourself, coward.
i will never log off



That last one's a Hungry Man or something, doesn't count

What's your favorite lovely frozen food? I'm really partial to those beer-battered fish "fillets" from Gorton's


Not really AFP, but I'm sure if I had a time-traveling camera I could take some pretty unappealing pictures of my college student meals that consisted of like one or two of these on top of a giant bowl of rice.

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


deadly_pudding posted:

That last one's a Hungry Man or something, doesn't count

What's your favorite lovely frozen food? I'm really partial to those beer-battered fish "fillets" from Gorton's


Not really AFP, but I'm sure if I had a time-traveling camera I could take some pretty unappealing pictures of my college student meals that consisted of like one or two of these on top of a giant bowl of rice.



Occasionally I'll get really stoned and eat an entire one of these myself

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~


College Slice

deadly_pudding posted:

What's your favorite lovely frozen food?


These aren't allowed in the house anymore. I am 100% certain I would kill myself if allowed unlimited access to these goddamn things.

540 calories and 1,000 mg of sodium. But they're so good

Every time I walk by the freezer case at the grocery store, I stare longingly at them like a recovering alcoholic walking by a liquor store. I know I shouldn't, but just one little bite wouldn't hurt, right?

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



cyberia posted:

School lunches, you say?

I can't pick one that is the worst.



When I was younger, while my parents were out of town, I bought one of these and the ribs were so loving weird, I couldn't finish them. The dog was bouncing around at my feet, so I gave her some and she immediately spit it out, which is an interesting assessment coming from an animal that used to literally eat cat poo poo.

Favourite frozen food: Hot Pockets or the Delissio frozen pizzas, especially the thin-crust ones. They're very good, actually.

bony tony
Aug 9, 2013



GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

That's chickencheese, you dolt. Would've killed for one back then. Kids these days

Wow, chickencheese. That takes me back.

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



For lovely frozen food, I'm fond of the Boston Market Salisbury steak and mac & cheese.



I also legitimately like the Lean Cuisine Thai spring rolls.

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Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010


Wanamingo posted:



Occasionally I'll get really stoned and eat an entire one of these myself
I've read that often, and I gotta ask: is it really strange to many of you to eat a whole pizza? Pretty much everyone I know does that, and I don't actually know any fat people including myself, if the question comes up. I'm German if it helps, so maybe our pizzas are inherently smaller or more digestible or whatever, but I can't imagine that. I very often come home, am too lazy to prepare my Butterbrot of choice, so I pop in a pizza, play video games while it gets baked and destroy it completely. Nowadays I tend to share one with my girlfriend, but then usually with salad as a side or I add another bread in an hour.

I'm taking freezer pizza (so ~30 cm diameter?), not Italian restaurant pizza (those can get enormous and while I have eaten whole ones in a single sitting, that didn't feel good most of the time).

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