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NinjaDebugger posted:Yup. whipped cream, fruit, and fluffy japanese bread. It's more like fruit shortcake that you can eat without a fork than anything else. gently caress that sounds SO GOOD
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May 22, 2016 19:38
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Control Volume posted:At first, I was full of mirth at this man's pathetic attempt at a "breakfast". Slightly underdone eggs with chives, raw tomato, squeaky mushrooms, this looked like the work of an amateur. Not even a hint of the necessary Maillard reaction in the crumb, pathetic. loving hell, dude, you're at the point of hating hipsters so much that you're assuming other people think they're cooler than you. The joke is that a giant canister of salt being right there makes it look like they're going to dump it all over their wet eggs. No one's calling you a nerd, calm down.
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May 26, 2016 20:09
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Dienes posted:The cappuccino one was surprisingly good. Its wonderful to dip in Cool Whip. We made it half a page past this bizarre poo poo and no one thought to comment?
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Jun 18, 2016 16:28
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Holy loving jesus I love me some medium rare duck breast but that is completely raw. The overgrown children who call themselves imgurians have such a weird performative idea of "adulting", it's absolutely the worst. To some dumb motherfucker on the internet, that's "fancy". God drat.
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Jul 30, 2016 03:10
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nothing I love more on my extremely rare burger than not one but two huge slices of watery tomato, marinated overnight in mayonnaise
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Aug 10, 2016 18:54
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i would describe myself as an egg and beer queer
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Aug 25, 2016 23:32
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why is no one else upset and confused about the presence of strawberries on that salmon/cream cheese/sushi monstrosity
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Sep 14, 2016 19:30
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BaDandy posted:I could hear them opening the loving can of Coke that I ordered all the way from where I was sitting! Bar and Grill, my rear end! dogg if you are a grown rear end adult who can't eat a meal without hypersweet carbonated corn syrup, and who is Discerning about the method of conveyance by which the establishment you patronize delivers you said syrup, then it is you who is the AFP like unless it said "we have a soda fountain!" on a marquee out front then this is hilariously unfounded as a criticism
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Sep 28, 2016 06:09
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BaDandy posted:craziness Wow. A bland, surreal half-nightmare that could only be brought to you by the very heart of our great country. That was a weirdly enthralling read, and I apologize for calling you a goonlord over what was clearly the mere tip of the AFP iceberg.
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Sep 28, 2016 18:47
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Speaking of AFP dreams, about a month ago I had a really awful dream in which I had to eat a bunch of raw horse eggs. They were big and brown and leathery, and instead of the normal egg situation they were full of countless small individual yolks rather than one yolk surrounded by the white. They smelled awful, like rancid meat and plastic. Plus they were from male horses, and for that reason they were known as "dearth eggs". I keep remembering that dream and getting viscerally grossed out to the point of almost physically gagging. Also it's weird that my subconscious mind knew the word "dearth", but pretty much every other aspect of this situation is weirder than that.
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Oct 20, 2016 06:55
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nerd plus rage posted:
That is a completely normal pizza margherita and you are trying too hard.
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Nov 6, 2016 05:17
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QuickbreathFinisher posted:Yo, so tapenade. It can be done very well, but gently caress up even slightly (or buy the lovely store brands) and it's literally vegetable diarrhea in four of the five senses: smell, sight, feel, and probably taste are all functionally the exact same level of acrid and diseased as literal poo poo from an rear end hole. Hey man, when life gives you tape, make tapenade.
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Apr 2, 2017 15:29
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I heart bacon posted:I'm imagining the punch one as having a picture of Ray Rice on it. (Yeah, I know he played for the Ravens) This has me actually conceptualizing what a punch-in-the-mouth flavored soda would taste like. Probably blood, primarily.
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Apr 12, 2017 18:16
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Yawgmoth posted:I put lemon in my coffee on a dare and as it turns out lemon in coffee is You have some unimaginative friends issuing these dares. Espresso with a lemon twist is absolutely a thing, and has been for a long time. Y'all ever have that bulletproof coffee that was trendy for a little while? You make some strong coffee and blend in butter and coconut oil. My mom made some for me when I was over at my parents' house a while back and it gave me instantaneous diarrhea. Tasted like greasy coffee (the coffee, not the diarrhea (but I bet the diarrhea tasted like that too)).
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Apr 19, 2017 17:45
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Croatoan posted:To be fair, caffeine induces bowel movements. You probably had it loaded to go and wasn't related to the fat since that'd take an hour or two to move through. Sorry about your explosive poo though I mean like, that was the entire rest of my day. I had to postpone activities, man.
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Apr 19, 2017 18:09
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Holy poo poo, that many replies and not a single mention of Ulillillia. I don't even know you anymore, SA.Pastry of the Year posted:
Also "Strimp" is my favorite part of this.
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May 12, 2017 20:26
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What fucks me up about this post that I haven't seen anyone else notice is that the dude appears to be using two different butter knives stacked together to cut his abortion of a pizza.
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May 25, 2017 18:41
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cyberia posted:I saw this menu at a hipster bar i went to recently: AAAAAGH. As a bartender and general proponent of succinctness this is absolutely killing me. From a "craft" perspective this is an incredibly unimaginative cocktail list. Only one cocktail on here is a true original, and it's a pretty safe combo of gin, St-Germain (which they misspelled) and citrus, with a little mezcal to liven it up. Everything else tells you outright that it's just something you're used to with an inoffensive substitution. This of course excludes the Bloody Scary which is the loosest Bloody Mary riff I think I've ever seen. No Worcestershire or horseradish? For shame. And then of course from a writing perspective I completely loathe how they decided against simply telling me what's in their drinks in favor of jacking off in my unwilling face about how Clever and Interesting they are. For those who aren't used to the craft-cocktail scene, seeing this sort of thing at a bar you're at for the first time is how you discern the true believers from a bar run by sharks who smell money in the water.
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Jul 22, 2017 06:01
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EoinCannon posted:It's Melbourne. To use your metaphor, the water is in a barrel and the sharks have shotguns. Oh lord. Everything adds up, then.
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Jul 22, 2017 06:33
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Tiggum posted:What? They were speaking metaphorically about how fresh vegetables seem to degrade unusually quickly in one's home refrigerator. An idiomatic bridge too far for your robot brain, unfortunately enough.
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Jul 24, 2017 07:32
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[i'm pretending to understand what anyone is talking about] lol
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Jul 28, 2017 08:09
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:Got a visit from someone with non allergy food intolerance (aka picky eater) at the restaurant today! Holy loving hell. If I were working the front desk at that restaurant I'd just tell them we're not honoring their reservation to save myself the headache of having to plan a special meal with the chef who probably wouldn't even do it anyway. This is of course assuming that they provided this document in advance when making the reservation and didn't just show up with it in hand and expected a customized three-course menu with no advance notice. There's such a bizarre sense of entitlement with some people at restaurants. You do not have the right to get exactly what you want, on demand, wherever you go. If you're humble, understanding and friendly, restaurants will accommodate you as best as they can. But if you have such serious dietary restrictions you'll be much better served by looking at the menu in advance and figuring out what the easiest, most low-impact modifications you can ask to make are. Or just fuckin' eat at home and go out for drinks after! gently caress!
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Jul 29, 2017 03:50
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a kitten posted:Anyway, this is actually the opposite of the thread, but gently caress it. Here's some North Korean defectors trying out american BBQ for the first time. This was an absolutely delightful video; thank you for sharing it. Barbecue is one of those American foods that I can't imagine anybody disliking. Their reaction to brisket, especially the younger woman, is something you would see in any person who had never had it before, I think. I'm going to the one good barbecue restaurant in Richmond VA tomorrow.
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Aug 21, 2017 02:11
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.Z. posted:
What are you talking about? I've seen some mistreatment of cast iron in my day but shallow-frying chicken and then broiling it in sauce hardly qualifies.
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Sep 13, 2017 05:59
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Magic Hate Ball posted:pretty ginchy dude you can't just debut new slang you made up without telling us what it means
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Sep 17, 2017 23:05
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Shallots are a type of onion. Be cool.
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Sep 18, 2017 02:30
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Data Graham posted:In deep enough beef, the shallots are usually called the onions. I just wanted to quote this post from last page because I really liked it. Real pleasant combination of words there.
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Sep 18, 2017 17:25
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Hey, real quick: what the gently caress is up with everyone who just lives for prattling on about food preferences? What's fun, engaging or interesting about "I like food x." "x is for loving CHILDREN" "I eat x with food y and I don't like when they touch!" "x is objectively good/bad and I don't understand that other people have their reasons for liking/disliking it"? I just don't fuckin' get why this keeps happening, and why so many people get so stoked to engage in these pointless conversations.
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Oct 8, 2017 05:08
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Cakefarts Carol posted:
That's some pretty nice-looking tuna tartare. On top I think that's thinly-sliced fried green tomatoes? Looks tasty, would eat.
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Oct 8, 2017 15:37
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bongwizzard posted:Do you still lube the pan with butter/oil, or is the mayo enough? Nah. Dry nonstick pan, a moderate amount of mayo on the bread. Works perfectly. The other tip I've learned about grilled cheese is to use a lower temp than you initially might think to. Put the burner at about halfway to max and let it take its time. Also, use a couple different cheeses. I like mild cheddar (melts better than sharp) with fontina.
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Oct 12, 2017 02:20
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Pastry of the Year posted:
Is the implication here that all the meat has been shucked off the pineapple, replaced with small pastries, and then pureed and served on the side? Because that's how I initially parsed it and I was beset by blank, abject horror.
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Oct 13, 2017 18:48
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Jumping into Monte Cristochat to say that the French place I work at does one on brioche French toast with chicken confit, ham and gruyere, topped with berry compote and maple syrup on the side. It should be illegal.
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Oct 22, 2017 08:29
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Samizdata posted:hame glaze hell yeah
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Dec 25, 2017 05:47
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Haverchuck posted:it seemed like he went out of his way to make the first one suck so his own would look better. like he didnt make any kind of sauce, didnt put anything else in it, etc He makes a point of being faithful to the source material for his first attempt. You'll notice that in the Regular Show clip, the burrito appears to be a pile of ground meats in a tortilla, which obviously won't be good but he had to do it because that's what was in the show.
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Jan 17, 2018 18:53
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fizzymercy posted:treat your meat like it was your own So beat the gently caress out of it?
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Mar 26, 2018 01:54
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He also keeps using "normal" as a loving deafening dogwhistle for "white and middle class". It's all he can do to keep himself from describing that which is distasteful and foreign to him as "ethnic". gently caress this dipshit, I hope his wife cheats on him and his kids go to liberal arts colleges.
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Sep 21, 2018 18:00
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Tashilicious posted:this all looks fine and you're just wrong? It absolutely loving isn't! The mayo is completely burnt onto the surface of the steak, and as you can see in the cross-section, the fatty parts of the ribeye are completely unrendered, resulting in unpleasant texture and a flavor that is bland at best. That's burnt mayonnaise surrounding a steak that was only cooked by the heat of boiling mayonnaise, which I'm sure you can surmise as well as I can is not an ideal method of cooking steak.
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Nov 6, 2018 09:04
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why are you arguing with posts from almost two months ago, samizdata who hurt you
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Nov 21, 2018 23:05
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Holy Christ, mechanically separated meat product with a fuckin' devil on the label. Do the nutrition facts just have the cry-laughing emoji where the sodium content is listed?
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Dec 1, 2018 19:30
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Oh my god what even is this. Who is this Elliot Perlman dork? Why is he being interviewed at a ridiculous restaurant? Why is the writer simultaneously interviewing this guy and reviewing/gushing about the restaurant? Why the gently caress did they feel the need to post the bill for the meal?
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Dec 29, 2018 06:29
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