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Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.

GI Joe the Atlantis Factor was a 2D action platformer developed by KID (Kindle Imagine Develop, who later did Ever 17: The Out of Infinity, the Memories Off series and Low G Man, among others), published by Capcom, and released in March 1992. So why haven't most people played or heard of it, outside a Nintendo Power feature the same year?

Three main reasons.

1. Like the previous game, it was only released in North America, so that limits the audience right off the bat. Their ad campaign was also pretty limited, as so far I can only find one print ad which ran in comics and game magazines, and searching on Youtube has given me a lovely result of Diddly/Squat. I am aware that for the most part individual Nintendo games didn't get very many "featured" ads the way some SNES games did, but this was towards the end of the console's life cycle, so they really should have at least done one.

2. The DiC cartoon had ended just two months previous. So except for the diehard fans, collectors, and readers of the monthly comic, Joe was starting to fade from the collective consciousness. As well, the DiC cartoon being somewhat more "kiddy" in comparison to the Marvel/Sunbow series really didn't help the brand as a whole for being taken seriously.

3. The Real American Hero brand was on a slow fade out by this point (it ended in 1994, in fact), especially since war was a good bit less popular in the early 90s than it was in the early 80s, when Larry Hama, a Vietnam veteran and comic book writer, helped come up with it in the first place. People were less keen on soldiers and wars after Desert Shield/Storm, and the Cold War ending certainly contributed.

So why are we going through this game? Because it was fun as hell, dammit, and the developer figured out what they did wrong in the first game. Auto-scrolling boss fight(s) with insta-death bottomless pits, and you're forced to take the heaviest and lowest jumping Joe as your team leader? Passwords that ignore what weapon and life levels your team members are at? Nope, we're having none of that garbage here, thank you.

Since this isn't the longest game ever (a couple of hours if you're really good), I'll also be doing File Dossiers on six characters and/or vehicles per video, as Mr. Hama did come up with some pretty interesting stuff. SkippyGranola has been kind enough to join me on this journey, and Voidburger was quite kind and helped me by doing some editing for me, since I didn't quite bring myself to get the software and figure out the process on my own. So let's move out! YO JOE!

Episode list:
Episode 01 Bring Along a Wet Suit (Initial editing on this episode done by the lovely Voidburger)
Episode 02 Roadblock, When Did You Get Here?
Episode 03 Solving Snake Eyes' Sorrows
Episode 04 Shooting Up is a definite survival skill (Initial editing on this one done by Voidburger)
Episode 05 Who misses Maze levels?
Episode 06 You mean I have to fight Cobra Commander again? (And once more, the lovely and talented VB helped me out with the special effects)

File Dossiers:
01 - Stalker through Road Pig
02 - Wet-Suit through Storm Shadow
03 - Skystorm through Alley Viper
04 - Firefly through Techno-Viper
05 - T.A.R.G.A.T. through Laser-Viper
06 - Overkill through Cobra Commander

Bonus Updates:
Snake-Eyes and shopping on his own, or, why you don't leave a Ninja on their own for too long
Snake-Eyes' greatest hits
Bonus video 1 - Storm Shadow's Revenge
Bonus video 2 - The Many Deaths of Cobra Commander

SorataYuy fucked around with this message at 21:56 on Nov 24, 2016


Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
Comic images from scans of the series, game images from screenshots I took myself, and all figure pictures are from

E5 (later E-7)
Primary Military Occupational Speciality: Infantry
Secondary MOS: Medic, Interpreter (Fluent in Spanish, Arabic, French, and Swahili)

Before enlisting, this Joe was warlord of a large urban street gang in Detroit, Michigan. This would later serve him well in Vietnam, as he was picked to lead a squad of six troops in the Long Range Recon Patrol. Three of the other five he served with would live to become part of the conflict between Cobra and GI Joe - Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and Wade Collins. The other Joes would describe him as a "tough, but fair field commander". In The Atlantis Factor, he's Mission Control and in charge of your Passwords.

Stalker also likes to unwind in a rather interesting way for an infantryman...

While serving in Vietnam with Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes as part of Long Range Recon Patrol, Snake Eyes was hit as the extraction helicopter was coming in. He ordered Tommy (Storm Shadow) to leave him, and expected the chopper crew to lift off then and there...

Stalker has since regretted giving that order. In his own words, "There just ain't enough brave men left in the world that we can afford to leave them for dead on the killing ground."

Stalker took part in a rescue mission for a scientist and peace activist (who they had encountered before on the team's first active mission), and ended up having to remind one of his troops who had a difference of opinion with her to not be too big a dick.

He also led a mission to rescue an imprisoned journalist in a rather unfriendly Eastern European country.

The infiltration went well, and getting into the prison went quite nicely. Only one little hitch in the plan came up...

Stalker and his team ended up incarcerated at a prison camp for months, where the Ranger was singled out by a particularly nasty guard -

which turned out to be a big mistake on the guard's part

Despite the horrible conditions though, he never broke or lost his sense of humor.

He recovered enough to lead the landing team during Cobra Civil War, when the Joes were ordered into the conflict on the side of Serpentor's forces.

Stalker also served in Battle of Benzheen on the recon team, where he was put off by new guy, Cool Breeze, and his carefree attitude

(he also couldn't help but be a bit awestruck at the ignorance of the new recruit)

Fellow Recon team member Ambush called him out on this

Even after Cool Breeze grabbed the radio and prepared himself to make a sacrifice play

The respect of Stalker is hard to earn apparently, so it's impressive that a guy who looked like Dwayne Wayne in a lime green jumpsuit managed it.

Years later, he returned to Borovia as part of Hawk's team backing up Destro at Silent Castle,

For a few issues, anyway, until he showed up in New York with Duke, somehow. Image included mostly because it's one of the few times this outfit ever showed up in the comic.

(Personal reaction the second time reading this one: "Hey wait a minute... what the heck is this, we never saw him leave Borovia - Larry Hama, did you goof???")

And he came up with a plan for helping Scarlett infiltrate Cobra

O-6 (later 0-7 and 0-8)
Denver, Colorado
Primary MOS: Artillery
Secondary MOS: Radar
Clayton Abernathy is a West Point graduate from Denver, Colorado that comes from a well established (real loaded) family. He was top of his class and has seen action in a number of trouble spots. Hawk's been the field comannder of the team for quite some time, almost from the beginning when he was a full-bird Colonel. The Joes are more than willing to serve with him because they know he won't ask them to do anything he won't do himself.
In-game, he's your first character, and your basic "jack of all stats" with the third highest vertical jump height, and the strongest laser rifle.

Even before the Joe team was assembled, Hawk met Snake Eyes - to have to deliver some very bad news.

Early in the team's life, he infiltrated a compound run by an extremist survivalist

He even ended up in a hand to hand battle with Destro

Hawk handed field command over to Duke upon completion of Pit II, and the reshuffling of the team to start handling its own paperwork and bureaucracy

And later ended up becoming the General in charge of team when his successor had a heart attack

After a successful but disastrous assault on a Cobra held town, the team was suspended and investigated. Unfortunately, Cobra found the Pit and launched an assault when only Hawk and three other high-ranking officers were in it.

Hawk mounted a mostly successful defense, although the base was a loss.

(amusing note: this "nomad" status lasted maybe a year.)

The general personally lead the assault team during the Cobra Civil War.

But unfortunately, the council of generals nicknamed "the Jugglers", who normally "bear bad news and take the blame", had some bad news of their own -

the Joes were going to be considered renegades, despite being ordered into the conflict.
Hawk gave Roadblock the unofficial assignment, "get out of here and do what you can to fix this"

(this storyline resolved quite nicely in the Destro dossier, promise)

Hawk was present when Duke and his much-reduced team made their way back to the safety of their own lines during the Battle of Benzheen

and tried to help out Destro when Cobra Commander put a contract out on the semi-retired weapons manufacturer
(notable for this being the only time this uniform shows up in comic)

Hawk was on hand to give Destro back up during his return to the Silent Castle, an old Cobra stronghold, long-abandoned.

However, he and the team had to take the long way home

They made their way through the country of Borovia, which was suffering some civil unrest

Hawk showed some unwarranted optimism about the decency of his fellow man

which did not go well for him.

Hawk and Stalker advised Wolkekuckuckland General (Liederkranz) when Cobra set their sights on their country

(this is why you should leave that sort of thing to Stalker, general...)

And they came up with some unorthodox tactics to distract an entire division while they decimated another.

Vipers are the backbone of the Cobra forces, highly motivated, superbly trained, and formidably equipped. All Vipers are issued a combination assault rifle/grenade launcher, a sustained fire cover support weapon, or a long range sniper rifle with an advanced light-intensification night vision telescopic sight with a built-in range-finder. The specialized Viper types generally get their members from this corps, once the "regular" Vipers have shown enough apptitude for one speciality or another. Large groups of Vipers tend to be used as backup to smaller squads of specialized Vipers, and can be expected to have the life expectancy of your typical red shirt.
Vipers are what you'd expect in this game, your basic mook.

The only Vipers that ever stood out:

Primary MOS: Communications
Secondary MOS: Electronics

These are the RTOs (Radio Telecommunications Operators) of the COBRA ground forces. They carry a standard modular radio pack that contains as a main unit a VHF transceiver equipped with an automatic frequency hopper, a crypto unit and passive jamming and anti-jamming devices. The Tele-Viper helmet contains high resolution earphones with overload dampers and two sets of voice actuated microphones. The interior of the helmet offers and alternative LED readout triggered through the optional computer pack. Optional transmission modes include microwave beam and laser - Both available as add-ons to the basic pack. Unlike most of the other Viper types, Televipers tend to be deployed one or two at most in a force.
This guy being included as a regular mook was an odd choice, especially as TeleVipers in this game tend to love to kick you.

Cobra troopers can be an unruly bunch at times. They aren't motivated by patriotism, unit loyalty, honor or sense of duty. It takes a brutal, unfeeling taskmaster to whip them into fighting trim and Big Boa fits the bill to a tee. He has a voice like a bullhorn, fists the size of frozen turkeys and the disposition of a rabid grizzly bear.

"Big Boa kicks open the Cobra barracks door at 0500 and makes everyone do the low-crawl up the mountain while pushing a bowling ball with their noses. Then, it's a twenty-mile run through the bramble thickets, more push-ups than you want to know about, and a two-mile swim upstream with flak jacket and helmet. After breakfast, he starts on the HARD stuff!"

Big Boa was created as the Cobra "drill sergeant"/fitness instructor, with a counterpart in the Joe forces at the time being Rocky Balboa. However, the deal fell through and Rocky didn't get used, so Big Boa never showed up in the 82-94 comic series or the 2 cartoons that run during those years, either. Yet he got used as a regular "mook" in both games, without anyone seeming to realize there's only one Big Boa. Whoops, way to go, Kid, Taxan, and Capcom.

Hailing from Goblu, Michigan, this Dreadnok is apparently the only one to have ever gone through a probationary period. Even by 'nok standards, he's obnoxious and dangerous, and this is a biker gang that considers grape soda and chocolate covered donuts to be all the nutrionary value that's needed. It probably doesn't help his case that he's the only Dreadnok with a split personality, making the rest of the gang have to be wary for saying things to make "nice" Donald go away, and Road Pig come out for "good stomp-a-rama time"...
Road Pig serves as a mini-boss in the Atlantis Factor, several times, in fact. Quite fitting for a guy who can stop a car more or less barehanded.

The first time we meet Road Pig

Donald sees a news report with Zarana in it and makes a quick decision,

Yes, that's definitely the face of liking someone a little bit...

Donald has his reservations about that, Zarana.

While on vacation, the Joes Clutch and Rock and Roll accidentally stumbled onto the Cobra-run town of Broca Beach. They had almost escaped, when

(Joe covers tended to be pretty good at not exaggerating what was inside, but this one took the cake for being pretty representative of what was about to transpire.)

Road Pig once tried to muscle his way into a top meeting, with less than favorable results.

And he worked with Zarana to "recruit" Scarlett when she was apparently on the outs with the Joe team.

SorataYuy fucked around with this message at 01:31 on Mar 25, 2016

discworld is all I read
Apr 7, 2009

DAIJOUBU!! ... Daijoubu ?? ?
Not sure if it might help at all, but this image might be a little more to your liking?

Also probably not a huge deal or anything, but you've got some noticeable frame blending going on. Might want to check with voidburger to see what could be causing that since it's usually easy enough to fix (that is if she's also handling the encode stuff, otherwise yeah, you could probably fix that).

I just like to help if I can :) glad I could be of some help.

discworld is all I read fucked around with this message at 06:55 on Mar 7, 2016

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
Ah! Thank you, yes that's much better (really not sure why I couldn't find one that nice. =\ ) I'll take a look and talk with her so we can see what I can do to fix that stuff, thanks for that heads-up.

^ Ah, right, fixed! Long day, brain no really worky as good as I'd like right now. x.x

SorataYuy fucked around with this message at 06:48 on Mar 7, 2016

Scalding Coffee
Jun 26, 2006

You're already dead
The first was such a Nintendo-era game. Multiple characters to switch out will not make the game any easier.
Both the games were rather complex for NES titles and kid me just didn't get much out of it before the weekly rent was up.

Jul 18, 2008

A leap into the void.
The burger in space.

SorataYuy posted:

I'll take a look and talk with her so we can see what I can do to fix that stuff, thanks for that heads-up.
If you think I still have the raw footage and files from a one-off project I completed way back in October of 2014, I got bad news.

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.

VoidBurger posted:

If you think I still have the raw footage and files from a one-off project I completed way back in October of 2014, I got bad news.

You don't, but I do. I suspect the frame blending happened on my end during splicing, anyway. Time to sit back down with Movie Studio and figure out what settings to tweak. :P

Scalding Coffee posted:

The first was such a Nintendo-era game. Multiple characters to switch out will not make the game any easier.
Both the games were rather complex for NES titles and kid me just didn't get much out of it before the weekly rent was up.

Hell yes. The Taxan one had way too high a difficulty and learning curve. Several of the bosses were more of a "puzzle" than an actual fight, and the stage to actually get to the boss gave you far too many chances to get killed along the way. The second one was much improved when the developers apparently realized "they have enough opportunities to die from enemies already, multiple contact-damage traps and floor panels and insta-death pits might be a bit much..."
I had something of the same experience as a kid, it took me until reaching teenaged years to really do more with it, and start figuring out my team's strengths and weaknesses.

Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.
I just finished watching the first video, and I have to say, YouTube has not been kind to it. That's because YouTube assumes that a video with a small resolution couldn't possibly need a high bitrate, so it downsamples it horribly. My advice? Point resize the video three or four times bigger before doing the final encode; the result won't be that much bigger, but it will be much crisper.

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
^^ confirmed, I've found the right "Make Movie"/export settings to where Youtube will be quite kind to my video, and where it's still a decent filesize without a huge upload time (my previous attempts to fix that somehow ended up with files over a gig in size and resolution all the way up at 1920x1280, cripes.) Thanks for the suggestion! :)

Dossier 01 update will be up by tomorrow afternoon. It's just taking longer than I thought because my primary photo editing tool went and somehow corrupted its own install and uninstall, so now Windows 10 thinks Photoshop is still installed, and has the menu shortcuts, when in fact it's now all borked up. I also ran into an unexpected stumbling block - it's harder than I thought to write about individuals that don't get many personal growth moments or "personal stories" in what is essentially a "team" book. :doh:

Scalding Coffee
Jun 26, 2006

You're already dead
I am just saying that there is nothing wrong with downloading a gig file with a large resolution.

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
Dossier 01 is finished and uploaded! Update 02 will be posted in about a week, along with the accompanying Dossiers. :)

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
Episode 02 is live!

Roadblock, when did you get here?

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
Dossiers 02

Grade: E-5 (later E-6)
Primary Specialty: SEAL
Secondary Specialty: UDT (underwater demolitions)

Brian M. Forrest of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina may be mean to the bone, but he's also apparently quite bright, being well-read in both the classics and the standard texts of military tactics. His motto is "Well, with all due respect, nobody told me NOT to blow it up, SIR!"
In TAF, he's your environmental specialist for aquatic areas (of course), being free from the constraint of taking damage every couple seconds underwater that the other Joes have to take into account. His melee is stronger than Hawk's, and his jump is the fourth highest. Like most of the aquatic specialists on both sides of the board, Wet-Suit doesn't show up much in the comic.

He debuted on a mission to recover Snake Eyes and Ripcord from Cobra Island:

And he got to go back there a few years later, where he encountered Croc Master and the October Guard (the Russian equivalent of the Joe team), in a mission that ended up with the Joes in possession of a Cobra Mamba helicopter:

The Cobra heavy machine gunners, S.A.W.*-Vipers are equipped with gyro-stabilized, cryogenically-cooled mini-chain guns, scoped with an infrared night-vision, auto-ranging, optical sighting system. Or read another way, these guys have highly accurate, low-malfunction machine guns that don't burn out the barrel during long rapid-fire bursts. In TAF, they patrol back and forth, expending large amounts of ammo when they spot the Joes.
*Semi Automatic Weapon

The Saw-viper corps didn't show up a lot in the comic, but they managed to make up for this lack of focus, thanks to one particularly sadistic and blood thirsty member. The Crimson Guard commanders, Tomax and Xamot, captured a squad of 10* Joes at one point, and misunderstood Cobra Commanders somewhat vague orders about what to do with them. The nastiest Vipers on duty at the time seemed a bit less than eager to do the job, so a SAW stepped up and offered to do it -
*Lt. Falcon, Duke, Cross Country, Doc, Heavy-Metal, Thunder, Crank-Case, Quick Kick, Breaker, and Crazy Legs

As the Cobra forces moved out for their next objective, two of the Joes boosted a third up to see what was happening outside of the trench they were held in. This did not end well...

The remaining Joes (less Doc, Crank-Case, Heavy-Metal, and Thunder) managed to overpower the Vipers left behind, steal their vehicle, and get an SOS out to Joe HQ. The Twins sent a small force back to deal with them, including the not so dead Saw Viper:

The Joes' extraction showed up, and the Cobras were ordered to stand down by the Commander. Our purple-clad sadist didn't take this too well.

And somewhat unfortunately for him, Duke, Cross Country, and Falcon weren't about to just let it go:

And very unfortunately for this particular Saw Viper, two other Joes didn't let it go, either...

Hydro-Vipers are qualified EELS (Cobra Frogmen) who volunteer to be surgically altered to withstand nitrogen narcosis and other side effects of deep diving. Synthetic webs are implanted between their fingers and subcutaneous fat production is stimulated by chemical injections to provide natural insulation. The long term effects of these procedures is known to be psychologically destabilizing...
Hydro-Vipers in TAF show up only in the underwater areas of the game, and not at all in the comic series. I can only suppose that this Viper type falling under the "look, writing underwater stories is kind of tricky, okay??" umbrella made Mr. Hama just say "NO. Isn't having the Eels enough already?"

A casual visitor to Cobra Island might find his access to certain areas blocked by a maze-like system of shallow canals. These interconnecting waterways are abundantly stocked with ravenously hungry man-eating crocodiles which have been deliberately conditioned to be hostile, psychotic, and fast. The man responsible for these repugnant reptiles is Croc Master, a former alligator wrestler and burglar alarm salesman who founded Guard-Gators Inc. in an effort to commercialize the use of alligators for home security.
In TAF, Croc Master serves as a mini-boss with the same attack pattern as Road Pig, but slightly less HP and attack power.

Croc Master first showed up not too long before the Cobra Civil War broke out, encountering Wet-Suit and Torpedo of the Joes, and the October Guard:

Horror-Show of the Guard immediately got on his bad side:

Just before the Civil War:

During the Civil War, Croc Master was on Serpentor's side, and marked the safe paths for the Joe assault teams to drive through the swamp:

Shortly before the return of the true Cobra Commander, he was still working security on the Island:

Unfortunately for Croc Master, Cobra Commander considered him guilty by association, and had him buried alive in a freighter beneath a volcano, along with several other Cobra troops and leaders. All but two of these "traitors" died of botulism when they hit a bad batch of canned food, during their nearly year-long attempt to dig their way out of the internment.

Hailing from Newton, Massachusets, Vincent D'Alleva was the CEO of a huge multi-national corporation with vast holdings in oil refineries, chemical plants and mills. How he became Cesspool from there differs a bit, depending on the media. In the toyline, he was trying to placate environmental groups, and fell into a vat of his own "product" from a collapsing scaffolding during a tour of one of his chemical plants. The comic? Well, see below.
In TAF, he's Boss of the missile base area, with a predictable yet annoying pattern. He's also notable for being the only character on either side to throw grenades in this game (Frag-Vipers did it in the last game, and all 7 Joes could as well, but only upwards.)

Cesspool was given quite the debut when he showed up:

And he went toe-to-toe with the Joe team equivalent of his "Eco-Warriors" quite quickly, too:

His forces succeeded in apprehending two of the three Joe Eco-Warriors - most unfortunately for Flint and Clean Sweep:

However, the Joes were one step ahead of him, as Ozone had been sent to fetch "Plan B":

Cesspool's career with Cobra didn't go so well for him, really, as he was captured when Firefly seized Cobra Island:

And the last time he was seen was during a meeting of the remaining "top" Cobra brass.

Primary Specialty: Assassin (later Covert Operations)
Secondary Specialty: Intelligence (later Martial Arts Instructor)

Thomas S. Arashikage comes from a family business in an unusual trade - a clan of Ninjas. His family looked at a real shooting war (Vietnam) as a sort of graduate school for their prize pupil, when it was really more like a doctorate for him.
Various circumstances after the war conspired to cause him to join Cobra, but only to discover the identity of the killer of his uncle. After some time spent reflecting on life, Storm Shadow eventually joined the Joe team, fighting alongside Snake Eyes and Stalker once again. He's qualified with the long bow, samurai sword, throwing stars, nunchaku, and is an 8th degree black belt in five martial arts.
In TAF, SS is the second highest jumper, with the most powerful pulse rifle at any level. He and Snake Eyes both have an energy wave attack at melee level 2, with Stormy's being the more powerful one. Sadly, despite the lovely agility of Ninjas, he's something of a glass cannon, starting with only 3 HP.

Storm Shadow showed up in the Joe-Cobra conflict by capturing one of the Joes in midair during a parachute qualification test:

Stalker revealed his identity to Hawk and Scarlett when they were attempting to figure out the connection between him and Snake Eyes, based on the tattoo they both now have on their forearms:

Stormy ended up training a boy named Billy (who turned out to be the son of Cobra Commander) when the kid impressed him with his integrity:

Not long after, he and Snake Eyes were given the identity of the killer of his uncle, the Hard Master (discovered and sent by his other uncle, the Soft Master [look, just go with it and stop snickering, it's meant to be ridiculous]). They went to Cobra Island in pursuit of Zartan, but this... didn't go well for them:

Really didn't go well.

The creation of Serpentor had a small side-effect, thanks to Dr Mindbender deciding to "spice things up with some fresh meat" (read: Storm Shadow's apparent corpse):

During some of his downtime from active duty, Stormy discovered what had happened to Billy when he left to confront his father, to his dismay:

Not long after, the two of them worked with Snake Eyes and Scarlett to rescue Stalker, Quick Kick, and Snowjob from the gulag they'd spent months languishing in:

Along with his niece, Jinx, he and Billy were on the way to see what they could do for Hawk and General Hollingsworth after the Joe team was sold out for not winning the Cobra Civil War. The corrupt agents working for the Senator smearing their names attempted to apprehend them right out of airport security:

Storm Shadow was also present when Billy's mother came looking for her wayward son.

Tommy was having none of his carrying on.

Zartan and several ninjas clad in red attempted to send SS to an early grave. The Red Ninjas would show up again (and again, the persistent little pests):

The Baroness' pursuit of a personal vendetta with Snake Eyes led Stormy, Stalker, and their friend Wade Collins to enter the Cobra Consulate Building in New York. One explosion later and they started to wonder if Snake Eyes was the one who needed their help...

Once the Baroness discovered the truth of her vendetta, Storm Shadow refused to let her just suicide her way out:

In an attempt to shake a depressive Snake Eyes out of his funk following these events, Tommy got him an assignment in Eastern Europe. However...

After clearing up the mess caused by his good intentions, he and Snake Eyes put together a new sub team for the Joes: the Ninja Force.

Months and many misadventures later, Storm Shadow went to the Silent Castle on his own in an attempt to rescue Billy from his father's clutches:

It ended almost as badly as his attempt at bloody vengeance.

(no caption I make could do this scene justice)

Storm Shadow stayed in Cobra custody for quite some time, sadly (the series ended just 5 months after that last one), and when he broke free of the brainwashing all depends on which sequel you read.

SorataYuy fucked around with this message at 01:38 on Mar 25, 2016

Scalding Coffee
Jun 26, 2006

You're already dead
I still have those stupidly large voiced backpacks for a couple characters. Batteries still work.
Never played with any of the playsets and I saw one for the Flagg.

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
I still have a large part of my collection from my childhood. Battle Command Stalker was one of them, although the batteries died years ago.
That is awesome, and you are damned lucky. There are 5 playsets from the original RAH line that are basically considered "the holy grails": (especially if you manage to get one more or less fully intact)

The U.S.S. Flagg,

he Defiant space shuttle complex,

the Rolling Thunder,

the General,

and the Headquarters.

I have two of them, the HQ and the General. I had one half of the Defiant at one point, when we got me the Crusader (basically the smaller shuttle from the Defiant, released with a new paint job), but it somehow disappeared or got itself misplaced in the move before my current place. Which confuses the heck out of me, because it's freaking well just big enough to rate it's own shelf on my display shelves. Like, "how do you manage to misplace something just big enough to use to give someone a concussion in one hit?!"

Fun note on the Flagg that forgets to mention, for some reason:
it measures in at just under 7'6".
The General up there that I have one of, that bastard's already hard to properly store for transport, I had to buy one of those big (the biggest size) rectangular totes with wheels. And even then, I have to put it in at an angle where the front drivers section is resting against the side of the tote, with enough room for me to store several vehicles under, around, and on top of it. The HQ? I can disassemble enough to just shove it in one tote by itself. Even the Rolling Thunder and Defiant look like they could be easily stored.
The Flagg, though? I really hope the hull of the ship is just as disassemble-able as the deck is, or that's a case of "really hope you kept the box..."

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
Episode 03 - Solving Snake Eyes' Sorrows

We have most of the team at this point, and we've cleared a good portion of the island. Just 2 bases and leaders to go!

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
Episode 3

A Cross Wing Chopper, the Skystorm is armed with 2 Air-toGround Anti-tank missiles, 4 "Trimmed Sparrow" Air-to-Air Missiles, and 2 "Imposer" 9MM pivoting auto-load twin cannons. The Skystorm saw only one single-panel appearance in the comic, with its pilot, Windmill, getting to show up for two issues just before the Cobra Civil War broke out.
In TAF, it's seen as the Joe team leaves the Missile Base in Area B (whether using it to get out, or being used to strafe the base, we don't know, as that bit was pretty unclear.)

Hostile Environment Troopers
Toxo-Vipers are given battle suits that are moderately air-tight and resistant to most solvents. Note the use of "moderately" and "most". Completely impervious to atmospheric dangers translates to "awkward", "slow-moving", and "expensive". So instead, Cobra High Command feels that the "Leaky Suit Brigade" should be motivated to get their jobs done as quickly as possible, without the pesky burdens of heavy and expensive equipment. The Toxo-Vipers didn't show up all that much in the comic, with their only real standout moment being the Eco-Warriors arc.
In TAF, they use what is either their backpack from their original gear, or a machine gun nest accessory (or some combination of the two.) They mostly serve as the "inconvenient stationary enemy that can mess you up if you're careless."

Toxo-Vipers were seen working with Scrap-Iron on a mission where an embezzling defense contractor was attemping to cover up his misdeeds (long and short of it, Cobra was hired to destroy all the records, and they got some new weapons plans in exchange):

They also showed up just before the return of Cobra Commander, at a party thrown for several visiting dignitaries, rulers, and despots:

The Cobra Rocket Sled was part of a small subline of gimicked accessories done in the late 80s (all the items in this line had a gimmick.) It never showed up in the comic, probably because it was too silly for Larry to ever say "okay, yes, I'll work it into the story this month."
In TAF, the riders of it serve as a source of cheap damage for your team if you aren't staying vigilant.

Stuart Finlay, hailing from Annapolis, Maryland, is a walking anti-talk weapon. He can launch high-explosive missiles from his backpack racks or from his "hip-swivel" holster tubes, and guide them to their objectives on a laser beam, without the use of his hands or his feet. Destro equipped him with a voice-activated weapons command system, made up of circuits and targeting computer modules built into various components of the blast suit he wears. Metal-Head just has to make visual contact with his target, let the computer calculate the range, plot the trajectory, wait for the green light to flash in his goggles' heads-up display, then yell "bang!" to complete the firing sequence. I didn't want to mention the cartoon too much :shepgun?:, but Metal-Head got the shortest end of the stick out of all 36 of the entities we'll be meeting in this LP.

He was the comic relief in a series where Cobra itself was something of a joke (the DiC seasons.) :sigh:

In TAF, he's encountered just a couple of times, in Areas C and F, shooting at the player with an irregular firing pattern.
Small note: until a couple of days before writing this up, I actually didn't recognize him. At all. I had to magnify those in-game screenshots I put in his header above up to 1000% and start visually dissecting him before I realized the lighter gray strips showing up on both his legs, and the one behind his head, were weapons. Then a closer look at his head made me realize that's a helmet, and it finally hit me. So why did this take so long to figure out, a good 20+ years?
KID/Capcom did something kind of stupid here. Metal-Head was a boss in the Taxan game (Level 2.) They took a reasonably detailed boss sprite, and shrunk it down to the point that most details aren't easily distinguishable, and forced it into the "two-tone" color palette pretty much everyone but the Bosses has to make do with.

Metal-Head only got to show up in two issues of the comic. First, during the Battle of Benzheen:

Where he had the pleasure of reminding the Joe Armor team that sometimes, manueverability is more important than a big chunk of armor:

Soon after the ceasefire in Benzheen, he reported back to his real employer, Destro, at his ancestral castle in Scotland:

However, Destro didn't seem to quite believe him.

And that was all we ever heard of this guy. Still miles better than the DiC version, who sounded and acted like a complete social shut-in emotionally stunted man child with the IQ of horseradish.

The Cobra Pogo Battle Ball is used for fast, surprise assaults, which it succeeds at (because well-armored or not, who expects to be attacked by a big pogo ball?) It comes equipped with 3 Homing Bombs, an under-slung machine cannon, and a controlled burst rocket. The PBB is one of the few things that was carried over from the previous game, which had an interesting but not very well-implemented system of "borrowing" unpiloted Cobra vehicles until they got destroyed/you went into the next level/you reached a Boss.
In TAF, it shows up twice in Area C, and never again. Cobra Commander seems to have not renewed the funds for building more of them...

The Alley Vipers are the Cobra equivalent of a police S.W.A.T unit or a British S.A.S. (Special Air Service.) Cobra uses them as the spearhead of their inner-city invasion forces. To be an Alley Viper, one has to have a style of ruthlessness the other Cobra soldiers don't. In order to graduate from their training program, they are required to survive a full burst of machine gun fire across their frontal body armor, execute a thirty foot jump onto concrete with full combat load and run down a hundred meter gas-filled corridor without a gas mask. Since Alley Vipers tend to use various forms of treachery to achieve their objectives, one can imagine the attrition this leads to during the pre-graduation training...
In TAF, Alley Viper shows up as a Mini-Boss in Areas C and F, and they actually remembered to have him use his shield if the player attempts to fire upon him while he's moving.

Alley Vipers showed up a few times in the comic, such as during Cobra's invasion and occupation of Benzheen:

The one who "wants to rack up a good score" managed one kill, not that he got to live to enjoy it.

The next and last time the Alley Viper division showed up was during the storyline that crossed over with GI Joe's sibling line, Transformers:

These two had the bad luck to be in Scarlett's way as she was escaping from her Cobra infiltration.

This squad was nearby when she ran into Cobra Commander and Zarana. The Commander made the mistake of being a bit too wordy each time he tried to give them an order, which she kept taking advantage of, until:

SorataYuy fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Mar 25, 2016

Mar 27, 2005

Son of the Defender
Formerly Diplomaticus/SWATJester
Yes holy gently caress this was my favorite game as a kid, and Firefly from this game got me into GI Joes.

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
You found the thread at a good time, then. Firefly's in the next set of Dossiers I'm doing alongside the next video update. :)

Mar 27, 2005

Son of the Defender
Formerly Diplomaticus/SWATJester
If I can nitpick, there is so much comic in the thread it makes it hard to find the videos, or like, any screenshots of the game. Just saying maybe the ratio is a bit much.

Totally psyched for next set though.

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

Leif. posted:

If I can nitpick, there is so much comic in the thread it makes it hard to find the videos, or like, any screenshots of the game. Just saying maybe the ratio is a bit much.

Totally psyched for next set though.

I agree with this. Even if the images were thumbnailed it would make a huge difference. When trying to find the latest youtube link I ended up going to the dossiers by mistake, then I had to scroll all the way back through. It is, of course, a minor nitpick. Otherwise your commentary and co-commentary is solid and I've been enjoying the LP!

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
Images are fixed! And screenshots from the game tend to be in the header images I've made for each entry, so it's easier to ID them from in-game.

Scalding Coffee
Jun 26, 2006

You're already dead
Pretty sure those little signs by the doors in that maze are card readers. It has the horizontal line near the bottom where you slide the card.
After looking through a hundred commercials, the Pogo has nothing on the S.L.A.M..

Mar 27, 2005

Son of the Defender
Formerly Diplomaticus/SWATJester

SorataYuy posted:

Images are fixed! And screenshots from the game tend to be in the header images I've made for each entry, so it's easier to ID them from in-game.

Yup, thread is ace now, thanks!

Scalding Coffee posted:

Pretty sure those little signs by the doors in that maze are card readers. It has the horizontal line near the bottom where you slide the card.
After looking through a hundred commercials, the Pogo has nothing on the S.L.A.M..

The S.L.A.M. owned. Nothing is better than a ZSU-23-4 Shilka that shoots loving artillery rounds.

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
I owned the S.L.A.M. when I was young. Oh how I wish I had taken better care of it so I could still have it today. Funny that you mention it, too, since it's going to show up a little in the Commander's dossier.

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
This week's update might be a day or two later than usual. I caught a cold (thanks, jackass at church the other night...) and my voice is all sorts of screwed up right now. We might do an episode while my voice is on the "bass" end of the spectrum, though, since I apparently end up sounding like a smooth jazz DJ.

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
Sorry for the lack of updates - life and happiness (and that cold being heavier than I thought) ended up getting in the way. Update 4 will be coming along this weekend, with 5 and 6 following soon after.

Edit: Update 4 coming tomorrow!

SorataYuy fucked around with this message at 04:52 on May 2, 2016

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
Episode 04
Shooting Up is a definite survival skill


My apologies that this update took me so long. I had depression last summer when I lost my job, and I managed to mostly deal with it. However, sometimes it can flare up a bit and kick my rear end and make it hard for me to find a reason to do much of anything at all. Even though my best friend was here for her week off just the week before now, it's still been making itself known (still being unemployed makes it easy for nasty self-doubts and old self-loathing to rear their disgusting heads.)

Now that I've started again though, I should have the next (and last) three updates done within the next week and a half. Dossier #4 is on the way before tomorrow afternoon. :)

Scalding Coffee
Jun 26, 2006

You're already dead
I wouldn't have been able to watch the video until last week due to a bad eye, so it worked out for me.

What is Cobra Commander going to do to the Joe base? Stay in his chair and toss a bunch of grenades at it?

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
This is not dead! I've been working on the dossiers so I can put them up within a few days of each other. Snake Eyes and Cobra Commander's have been taking up large chunks of time because they're so bloody big. The last videos are ready to go, I just need to finish the dossiers (especially since I have a day job starting in nine days.) I also have Photoshop working again, so the headers will at least look better.

Scalding Coffee
Jun 26, 2006

You're already dead
I didn't expect it to take more than two months.

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.

Scalding Coffee posted:

I didn't expect it to take more than two months.

I sure didn't, either. I even had a nice large chunk of time set aside today to just sit and write it, and have it up by now - and then this afternoon my mother was hospitalized for appendicitis. =\

On the other hand, writing can help me get my head away from worrying for a little while, so updating is commencing!

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
Episode 4

No one knows what Firefly's real name is or what he looks like. He is known by his work. Expert in all NATO and Warsaw Pact explosives and detonators. Always places his charges in the one place that affords maximum damage. There is no question about his infiltration skills since no one has ever reported seeing him enter or leave any target area.

"Even COBRA Commander doesn't know much about Firefly. His fees are paid into a numbered Swiss bank account and are always payable in advance. He makes no guarantees and gives no refunds."

Firefly didn't get much screen time in the comics, but what little he is seen, he makes up for it. He first shows up with Wild Weasel in an early storyline where Cobra Commander is recruiting Zartan. Firefly later takes part in an assault on Snake-Eyes' mountain cabin alongside Destro and the first Fred series Crimson Guardsman (neither of these is a particularly Firefly-centric story, though.)

The next time we see him, Firefly is making a decision that's a bit more important.

He's telling Scrap-Iron whether or not Billy (an important figure I'll get into in a later file), Candy Appel (Ripcord's girlfriend), and a driver with a bad habit (drinking "special" coffee while driving. "Special" meaning mostly alcohol) get to live, or die, after Storm Shadow's surviving uncle has already sacrificed himself trying to save their lives. One moment, with repercussions for many characters down the line.

Leif's favorite mercenary took part in Cobra's evacuation of the town of Springfield, after locating the disguised Joe, Ripcord, who was finally letting his team know where to find the place. (this was a running story thing, but not quite as funny as the Simpsons version)

Except for a couple of Special Missions appearances, Firefly then disappeared for quite some time, not showing up until after the Cobra Civil War ended. He and Dr. Mindbender were given a simple assignment: take and hold a new island that was erupting from the Gulf of Mexico, so the Joe team couldn't have it for a forward base for strikes on Cobra Island.

Once the Rolling Thunder showed up to back up the Joes dropped onto this smaller island, things went very badly for Firefly's forces. A little legal manuevering on his part, however, saved him from too many repercussions.

Firefly was one of the many Cobras the returned Commander condemned to death inside a freighter he had buried inside a volcano. So this was the last we got to see of Firefly in the comic.

At least until the GI Joe Ninja Force ran into him at the head of a large group of Red Ninjas (remnants of the clan Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were once part of, until the death of one of Stormy's uncles.)
Firefly explained how he survived, in between trading blows with both Joe and Cobra ninjas.

And then, new information surfaced. Some of Firefly's excellent track record at infiltration and sabotage was explained:

Not long after this revelation, Firefly took advantage of the wonders of modern technology that he had installed in his new uniform, and picked himself up a small army of unconscious ninjas. (They have more potential uses than you would think...)

He spent some time using the Brainwave Scanner on both teams

which lead to something quite interesting:

Our favorite saboteur then called the Commander to broker a deal. His method of traveling to Cobra Island was... unique, to say the least.

The meeting went off reasonably well, even with several tank turrets pointed at Firefly. Afterward left a bit to be desired, what with being chucked back into a volcano, and the zombified Ninja Forces creating major havoc freeing their temporary master.

In retaliation for the attack on the Joes' headquarters, a small squad did a HALO (High-Altitude, Low Opening) jump over Cobra Island.

Duke, Snake-Eyes, Roadblock, and Lady Jaye made their way to the citadel, coming face to face with plenty of android troops and ninjas. Snake-Eyes took on Firefly himself, until he un-brainwashed the Cobra Ninjas.

Slice and Dice were seen again after this, but Firefly wasn't...

So I'm breaking my own rule of talking about post-1994 Joe just for this entry, but in the sequel series done under the IDW banner (written by Larry Hama), Firefly shows up working for the Commander again. Seeing as Larry wrote the current series playing it a little loose with continuity from the original Marvel book*, it's a little unclear if Cobra's favorite saboteur would have cropped up with a new batch of trouble for both sides later on or not.

*Sneak-Peek shows up again, despite dying in the Battle of Benzheen, as an example.

File Name: Hinton, Marvin F.
SN: RA538203485
Grade: E-4
Birthplace: Biloxi, Mississippi
Primary Specialty: Infantry Heavy Weapons
Secondary Specialty: Cook

Roadblock's dream was to be a gourmet chef. He was working as a bouncer to earn money to attend the Escoffier School in France when an army recruiter convinced him that the army could train him to be a chef. Roadblock joined but found army menus and preparation techniques too appalling. Transferred to the infantry. Qualified expert: M-2 Browning .50 cal.; Heavy Machine Gun; all Warsaw Pact Heavy MGs; M-16; M-1911A1 Auto Pistol.

"A .50 cal. Browning weighs 84 pounds. Add fifty pounds for the ammo-that's about 134 pounds of steel generating 2930 f.p.s. in muzzle velocity at a cyclic rate of 55 r.p.m. Anybody who can handle that doesn't need a machine gun to keep me away!"

Roadblock is the second heavy machine gunner to join the team, and he's pretty obviously a writer favorite, with how often he's gone on missions. Thanks to not always talking in rhyme like his cartoon counterpart, however, this is completely forgiveable (to put it another way, no, despite being a Transformers fan, too, Wheelie isn't a character I'm particularly fond of, either. :P )

During the funeral of General Flagg, Cobra decides to test out the new "tank smasher" plane, the Rattler. The team's two newest recruits had a little something to say in response to this display of overkill.

Duke and Roadblock served on an observation team staking out a plastic surgeon based in Switzerland, tracking down the Baroness. The local cuisine led Roadblock to express his opinion:

An exchange of firepower between Cobra and Joe forces down near Zartan's Florida Everglades base ended up with Roadblock helping to repair the Killer Whale hovercraft. Some locals thought they were funny, but the joke ended up being on them.

Roadblock served on a rescue mission with Stalker and Gung-Ho to Sierra Gordo, liberating the peace activist the Joe team saved in their first active mission. Roadblock proved himself quite secure in his masculinity too, thank you very much, Gung-Ho.

After a disastrous rescue mission to Borovia, Leatherneck needed some sensible talking to. Roadblock ended up being the one to take the job.

On a second mission to Sierra Gordo, this time to extract a United States ambassador, Roadblock displayed his feelings on flag burners.

Roadblock participated in the Cobra Civil War, on Serpentor's side. The minute Serepentor was downed by Zartan, this rather pathetic turn of events happened.

Roadblock was the escort for Generals Hawk and Hollingsworth to meet a panel of Generals, on a mission to discover why the Joe team was being publicly treated as a rogue unit that had gone on the mission against orders (despite Mindbender making a deal with the State department, giving back a classified "Black Box" one of his Viper creations had stolen from the Joes, in exchange for military support.)

Falsely accused and arrested, Hawk gave Roadblock orders to escape and meet with the Joes not sent to Cobra Island, and clear the team's name. Roadblock immediately complied, proving amazingly able at evading his pursuers.

Roadblock personally confronted the General and Senator responsible for selling out the Joes, and was about to be smeared right in front of the newsmedia, when a most surprising figure came to their rescue - Cobra's own major arms supplier.

During a rescue attempt for Clutch and Rock'n'Roll, the Joes were confronted by several angry motorists, as they had ended up blocking a highway during their apprehension of the Dreadnoks. Roadblock ended up having very little patience for their self-absorbed whining.

Roadblock ended up in Switzerland a second time, checking into the activities of the plastic surgeon that had repaired the Baroness' face.

In yet another mission to Sierra Gordo, Roadblock's unit worked alongside the Russian equivalent of the Joe team, the Oktober Guard. He helped fight a rearguard action alongside the diminutive Sgt. Misha.

This ended up not going as well as the pair would have liked...

But it did lead to the Joe showing his rarely seen sense of humor.

One of the last times Roadblock was seen before the unit was decommisioned saw him heading to space.

The Joe Star Brigade worked with the Guard yet again, this time to detonate an asteroid sent plummeting to Earth by a Russian scientist that had gone rogue.

The Mamba Attack Helicopter is quite well-armed and manueverable. The Joe air corps tended to have to work pretty hard to not get waxed by these airborne engines of destruction. The most the Mambas were seen in the comic was a storyline that ended up with both the Oktober Guard, and then the Joe team, getting their hands on a mostly intact one. The Mamba was later used to drop off a recon team just before the Cobra Civil War, and dozens of the unit was seen in the aerial battles between Cobra Commander's and Serpentor's forces.

Cobra Anti-Aircraft Trooper

Flak-Vipers have a passive, infrared targeting and sighting system built into their helmets. This allows them to fire extremely accurate Tail-Biter missiles at Joe aircraft with absolute impunity! These are dedicated and motivated troopers. To maintain maximum levels of effectiveness, Flak-Vipers spend long hours every day practicing simulated missilie engagements using a program cartridge that plugs into their helmets. It would be like playing a portable video game for 10 hours straight! These guys get a kick out of roaming the battlefield in the Cobra Parasite mini-tank while "picking off" incoming enemy aircraft.

Due to showing up so relatively late in the line and comic, Flak-Vipers didn't get deployed much in the print adventures.

In one engagement with Cobra forces, a Flak-Viper managed to force Wild Bill to take the Tomahawk down as gently as a crash landing would allow.

After Cobra Commander had Firefly chucked back into the volcano and freighter where he had sent so many "traitors", he left a detachment of Flak-Vipers to make sure that this time he stayed there.

They did not particularly enjoy this assignment...

File Name: LaFitte, Ettienne R.
SN: MC56488390
Grade: E-7 (Sergeant)
Birthplace: Fer-de-Lance, La.
Primary Specialty: Recondo
Secondary Specialty: Jungle Warfare Training Instructor

Born into a large back-swamp Cajun clan. Gung-Ho moved to New Orleans and won a reputation as a bare-knuckle brawler and knife-fighter to be reckoned with. Joined the Marines at 18 and graduated top of class from boot camp at Parris Island. Attended: Airborne School, Recondo School, and Marine Ordnance School. Qualified Expert: All NATO infantry small arms and most Warsaw Pact infantry weapons, XM-76 Grenade Launcher.

"All marines are crazy but Gung-Ho is the hairiest, scariest, craziest jarhead that ever scratched, kicked and bit his way out of that hole-in-the-swamp they call Parris Island!"

Gun-Ho in the comics was more or less a "typical" Marine. A butt-kicker, tough as nails, and basically someone you just didn't want to run into on patrol. He showed up a decent amount in the early years of the story, then mostly faded into the background as time went on. He was, however, far more level-headed than his fellow Marine, Leatherneck.

Gung-Ho's first assignment with the team had him visiting the Alaskan Pipeline. He didn't think much of the idea of "dressing for the weather."

His next mission was playing back-up for Stalker and Breaker as they posed as salesmen attemping to buy electronic components from Cobra, in Rio Lindo. Seeing as all but Snake-Eyes ended up tied up, this attempt went rather poorly.

Unfortunately for some Cobra Troops, Gung-Ho's strength level is almost on par with Roadblock. He got to display this during their escape.

Gung-Ho and Breaker got to play medic to Stalker while he recovered from this encounter, and not long before Stalker woke up, Gung-ho went off to find them some extraction.

After an assault on the Pit by Cobra, the Joe HQ needed some repair and remodeling. A beam started giving way, and Gung-Ho jumped into action rather literally.

The team managed to capture the Commander (briefly), and a Cobra Ninja freed him. Roadblock and Gung-Ho gave chase, which didn't end too well for two of the three involved parties.

Gung-Ho was later sent as part of Lt. Falcon's recon team, shortly before the Cobra Civil War broke out.

Normally, that would already not be a great assignment. But then Destro's Iron Grenadier forces showed up and took the airfield the recon team was currently observing (from the Control Tower), necessitating an escape the team was rather reluctant to partake in. They had to go out through the sewer pipes.

This was regretted quite quickly.

Gung-Ho was among the Joes present when Cobra Commander led an assault on the Pit III under the Utah desert.

Cobra Battlefield Technician

Modern battles involve expensive, complicated machines and it is inevitable that these machines sustain enemy infliced damage, succumb to driver-error or simply break down of their own accord. It is the mission of the Techno-Vipers to provide field maintenance support and combat-engineer capability to the frontline Cobra troops. Techno-Vipers can repair HISS tanks, build bridges and retrieve large heavy machines from seemingly inaccessible places.

Techno-Vipers are so commonplace in the comics that attempting to showcase them would make this ever longer than it already is. I'll just say they're as much the backbone of the Cobra forces as the Vipers are, and leave it at that.

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
And while we're at it, have a new episode to watch while I finalize the next set!

Episode 05 Who misses Maze levels?

May 4, 2008

Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

SorataYuy posted:

And while we're at it, have a new episode to watch while I finalize the next set!

Episode 05 Who misses Maze levels?

My friend and I had those Ninja Force comics. Show the panel where all the red ninjas form a giant scorpion and this is good tactics because ???

Scalding Coffee
Jun 26, 2006

You're already dead
Most NES games give your guys the most basic attacks and some Joes can instant kill bosses.

Mar 27, 2005

Son of the Defender
Formerly Diplomaticus/SWATJester
Man I just love how much of a SUPREME rear end in a top hat Firefly is.

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
Dossier #5 is still in the works. I have two jobs right now (until the 21st), so my schedule and free time is a little messed up. Also, Snake-Eyes is in #5, so he's making it take a little longer. The other 5 files from it are all ready to go, though, so as soon as I finish his, it'll be up! :)

Ramc posted:

My friend and I had those Ninja Force comics. Show the panel where all the red ninjas form a giant scorpion and this is good tactics because ???

I'll include that in the Bonus update, for sure. :)

Scalding Coffee posted:

Most NES games give your guys the most basic attacks and some Joes can instant kill bosses.

This was another reason I loved this game as a kid. "Hello, boss duder *tries Slide-Slice on it*- whoa. :aaaaa: "

Leif. posted:

Man I just love how much of a SUPREME rear end in a top hat Firefly is.

He really is. I would have to go back and check, but I think he's an even bigger one in the IDW continuation series. It's pretty awesome. :D

Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.
Episode 5

Always in the forefront of technology, Destro's technicians have developed a method for inserting troops into totally inaccessible locations. Trans Atmospheric Rapid Global Assault Troopers are deployed into orbit from a shuttle, wearing armored self-contained, bio-system suits and ceramic composite heat shields that double as hang gliders and weapons platforms. Their re-entry over their target could easily be mistaken for a meteor shower - until they start shooting!

"T.A.R.G.A.T.s are quite formidable as assault troopers, but their psychological impact on defending troops is even greater! Who wants to have to fight a person who's crazy enough to turn himself into a human meteor?"

Targats never made it into the comic. Space specialities are kind of like deep sea ones, a little tricky to do it properly.

The Buzz Boar showed up in the previous game as a vehicle the Joe team could comandeer and manuever up walls and along the ceilings with. For some reason, it never showed up in the comics. Looking at the design, I wonder why, that's gotta be the most awesome and efficient thing ever, right?

File Name: Bludd, Sebastian
Grade: O-4 (Major)
Birthplace: Sidney, Australia
Primary Specialty: Terrorist
Secondary Specialty: Weapons and Tactics

Bludd received initial military training in the Australian Special Air Service. Later joined the French Foreign Legion. Worked as military advisor in a number of countries and is currently wanted for crimes in Rhodesia and Libya. Proficient with every form of infantry weapon in current use. Bludd has a tactical mind like a steel trap. Qualified Expert: All NATO and Warsaw Pact small arms.

"Major Bludd writes poetry...badly: When you're feeling low and woozy/Slap a fresh clip in your Uzi!/Assume the proper firing stance/And make the suckers jump and dance! (from The Attica Gazette).

The Major was another character that you can tell Larry liked, but wasn't able to do much with, thanks to the Comics Code Authority. He showed up in the first two years, had a couple storylines, then quietly faded into the background.

The Major was brought in by the Commander to do a special job. Fortunately, it wasn't to bring poetry into the lives of the Cobra High Command...

The Commander had gotten it into his head that Destro wanted him out of the way, for Destro's own eventual take-over. Bludd was paid to take old Metal-Face out.

The Major got involved in a rather Byzantine maze of "who's stabbing who in the back now" that went on for several months, and ended up with him thrown into a cell under Springfield. He then helped to mastermind a plot to kill the Commander (which will be covered in his dossier, for reasons that will be clear when we get there.)

He then disappeared for a LONG time, only showing up years later when Snake-Eyes took a mission to Borovia.

The reason why the Major was there was quite surprising. Not so surprisingly, he didn't succeed in taking out his target.

Grade: E-5 (later E-7)
Birthplace: (CLASSIFIED)
Primary Specialty: Infantry
Secondary Specialty: Hand-to-Hand Combat Instructor

Snake Eyes is proficient in 12 different unarmed fighting systems (Karate, Kung-Fu, Jujitsu) and is highly skilled in the use of edged weapons. Has received extensive training in mountaineering, underwater demolitions, jungle, desert and arctic survival, and some form of holistic medicine. Qualified Expert: All NATO and Warsaw pact small arms.

"What can I say about a good-guy who goes bump in the night? The man is the baddest dude in the valley. He scares pit bulls! He should wear a sign on his chest that says, "Don't mess, PERIOD!" The bad guys would like to see him declared illegal under the Geneva Convention. On the other hand, he is kind to small animals..."

Snake-Eyes. Bloody hell, Snake-Eyes. There is so much to actually say about the franchise's most popular Joe that honestly, it's probably better to just go right into the dossier and let comic Snakes speak for himself.

The team's first mission was rescuing a nuclear physicist from Cobra's clutches. Considering the good doctor's peaceful leanings and protests towards the way the government wanted to use her work, some of the team had reservations about the rescue part. Without even saying a word, Snake-Eyes gives us an idea of what he sees as a solution - "bomb it off the map."

And during the infiltration mission Hawk and Grunt were on, we get to see that he's also kind of a smart-rear end.

As noted before, Snake-Eyes and Hawk met before the team had even been thought of, much to our returned vet's dismay (recap: his family was killed on the way to pick him up at the airport.)

Fortunately, he still had somewhere to take himself, thanks to the kindness of a friend.

Thanks to the death of Storm Shadow's uncle, and the sundering of the Arashikage Clan, however, our mystery man once again found himself without much of a purpose in life.

So Hawk and Stalker came along at more or less the right time.

Snake-Eyes was present for one of the team's first missions, as they were still working on pulling them together as a unit. Four Joes were dispatched to a Middle Eastern country, but the helicopters they were being brought in on were missing one crucial piece. Dust shields for the engine intakes.

Scarlett, Grunt, and Rock 'n Roll managed to get out with little to no damage.

Snake-Eyes lived up to his name on this roll of the dice.

A team of plain-clothes Crimson Guardsmen were once sent to capture Scarlett, since she's one of the top Joe Intelligence officers.

They picked one of the worst times to do it, as she and Snake-Eyes didn't take too kindly to their date being interrupted.

All around, it didn't end well for that team.

Stalker and Snake-Eyes went to the Vietnam Wall to honor and remember their three comrades that didn't make it out.

They ended up with quite a surprise (and yes, that's the guy that ended up hanging off Snake-Eyes' tie on the ferry.) Their old squadmate Wade had ended up not only surviving Vietnam, but enlisting in the Crimson Guardsmen program not long after he returned to America. He even ended up "replacing" Fred I after he died from his wounds in the skirmish that destroyed Snake-Eyes' cabin in the High Sierras - right down to being the new "father" for the family.

After a long talk however, Wade Collins made a decision to leave Cobra behind. And the offer was extended to the surrogate family he had become part of, thanks to his two old war buddies.

Snake-Eyes happened to be the one to get hold of the message from the Soft Master not long before he died (Snakes didn't learn about this part until a couple of years later, however.) This lead to the roaring rampage of revenge with Storm Shadow that ended rather poorly for Tommy.

Destro and Cobra Commander were later assumed dead in the ruins of the Pit. Snake-Eyes showed a surprising respect for at least one of them.

Our favorite Ninja wasn't there when Stalker's team was captured in Borovia. This had him less than thrilled, as Flint nearly found out on their vacation. (Hint: it's not a good idea to call him "grumpy", even if he's obviously feeling so.)

Snake-Eyes and Scarlett teamed up with a Ninja Master who found them in Grenada and helped them fake their deaths, all so they could rescue Stalker's team. They came up with a rather colorful infiltration method...

S-E ended up having the "pleasure" of facing off against a large majority of the remnants of the Arashikage clan, while Storm Shadow faced off against the leader of these renegades.

A few months later, he and Scarlett took a vacation to Switzerland to see a plastic surgeon about finally getting his face reconstructed.

He wore those rubber masks for a pretty good reason, as it turned out.

Unfortunately, the good Dr. had once had another patient there a few years back, and was keeping an eye out for a disfigured blonde soldier.

As for why he was being looked out for? Well, to a teenager unfamiliar with guns and violence, this scene didn't look very good.

So it turns out the Baroness is a pretty vengeful woman, if she thinks you had anything to do with taking something or someone beloved away from her. Who knew a rich woman could be so ready to wreak vengeance a good twnety years later, right?

Sadly, her team of torturers beat her to the punch a little as Snake-Eyes started making his way to freedom.

As the Baroness (and the whole of the Cobra Consulate building) started to learn however, her rampage of revenge is nothing compared to what a royally pissed off Ninja Commando can do.

This ended up with the top of the building starting to fall off, and Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow being the only thing standing between the Baroness and a long and splattery landing.

While cooling off after a bad suggestion from the Dr. treating a comatose Scarlett (he said Snakes might want to look up Dr. Hundtkinder - the same man who sold him out), yet again Snake-Eyes shows his sense of humor. And that he really is a smartass.

Not too long after she was put in the hospital, Scarlett was given a terminal prognosis/the doctors didn't expect her to wake up (apparently being shot in the head will do that, even if the bullet hits at an oblique angle.) Scarlett's sister got a court order to take her off life support, resulting in a first from her love:

(a flashback later on showed he still can talk, it just hurts like hell.)

Not too long after this, Storm Shadow managed to arrange a mission for Snake-Eyes, to get his mind off the probable death of his lady love. A few hours after he parachuted into Borovia:

Thanks to Major Bludd, Snake-Eyes both succeeded and failed in his mission at the same time. He was pretty angry about this, as the man he had gone to extract was once his sister's fiance.

He at least managed to bring one good thing back with him at least. For a killing machine, Snakes is pretty soft-hearted. (Also, those poor kids, playing that horrible game. T_T )

Snake-Eyes got put in a rather unenviable position during Scarlett's undercover infiltration of Cobra. The first time he ran into her, he didn't know it was an infiltration.

The second encounter went even worse.

Ninja Force was the main extraction team for Scarlett during the Joe team's assault on the Cobra-held (and brainwashed) town of Millville. Of course, to counter this, Cobra had Night Creepers on retainer.

Snake-Eyes stayed behind to deal with their leader.

This went about as you would expect. :cawg:

Slice and Dice learned the lesson about getting in his way even faster than the Night Creeper Leader did.

A few months later, Storm Shadow got himself captured on a failed rescue mission in the "Silent Castle" in the Trans-Carpathian mountains. Snake-Eyes went in to rescue him, facing off against the Commander himself in a new suit of battle armor.

This was regretted by at least one party in very short order.

Unfortunately... the three parties he went in to rescue (Billy, Baroness, and Storm Shadow) had all been brainwashed by this point. Although as they saw it, they were "restored to their former condition." Snake-Eyes came up with a good idea pretty quickly.

After all the hassle and pain the Commander had put the Joes through by this point, one can't help imaginging Snake-Eyes was taking a little grim pleasure in some of this.

Sadly, the book was cancelled a few months after this, so Snake-Eyes curb-stomping Cobra Commander was almost the last we saw of him, except the final issue. The last issue was unique, in that the large majority of the text in it was exactly what the issue title said. "A Letter from Snake-Eyes." I might upload the entire issue as a bonus update, because even with the small challenge of reading comic book cursive*, it was a rare treat to get such a good look at what goes on in his head.
*I'm not kidding, something about the paper quality of #156 combined with the cursive font picked makes it harder on the eyes than you'd expect.

The Sea Ray is an amphibious/aerial assault craft. It was included as a stage boss in the Arctic level (Level 2) in the previous game, and is a lovely source of points for free Level Ups in TAF. However - it never made it into the comic book. Looking at the design of it, it's not very hard at all to see where Larry Hama took a look and just said "Nope."

Laser weapons are only effective at relatively short ranges because of the amount of energy lost through atmospheric dissipation. Therefore, a LASER-VIPER's primary function on the battlefield is "target illumination" for H.E.A.T. VIPERS and AERO-VIPERS. The Laser-Viper places his beam on the target, then squeezes off a heat-seeking, anti-tank missile or guided bomb that "rides" the beam to destroy the target.

"Don't underestimate the Laser-Vipers. You might get the impression that all they do is shine flashlights and spot targets, but that's not the case. These guys can sit well outside the range of your weapons and drop a world of hurt down on your head within seconds! If you're lucky enough to sneak in close to get a shot at them, you're also close enough for them to make it overly hot for you!"

Laser-Vipers got to be a recurring mid-boss a couple of times in TAF. Most Joe fans remember them for being in the intro sequence of the DiC cartoon.

The Laser-Vipers corps made their print debut when Cobra asssaulted the Pit III in force.

Barbecue made their attempt to break in not end very well.


Jul 17, 2014

That... didn't even make sense.

From the pages of G.I. Joe Yearbook #4, have a Snake-Eyes solo adventure!

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