You are a tree. (CYOA)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > The Game Room > You are a tree. (CYOA)

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Magnusth: Sep 25, 2014; _{Hello, Creature! Do You Despise Goat Hating Fascists? So Do We! Join Us at Paradise Lost!}

maxhush posted:

AJ - Maximum Eucalyptus

Changing my vote to this.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 04:36

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 07:36

the_steve: Nov 9, 2005; We're always hiring!

# ? Mar 15, 2016 05:14

SerSpook: Feb 13, 2012

CJ

Our fruit shall be the Fruit of Knowledge

# ? Mar 15, 2016 07:34

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

SerSpook posted:

CJ

Our fruit shall be the Fruit of Knowledge

Great idea! And maybe our fruit can also be hallucinogenic.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 12:11

John_A_Tallon: Nov 22, 2000; Oh my! Check out that mitre!

CJ with a future side of hallucinogenic poison.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 14:26

100 HOGS AGREE: Oct 13, 2007; Grimey Drawer

AF

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FijQbZeTGNc

# ? Mar 15, 2016 14:52

Wentley: Feb 7, 2012

AJ

Names are power.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 16:06

jng2058: Jul 17, 2010; We have the tools, we have the talent!

A J works for me.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 16:25

Basscop: Jun 4, 2010; Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!

HiHo ChiRho posted:

"You are a Tree now, Basscop. Go and be a Tree."

I'm glad you're rooting for me.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 18:26

Punkinhead: Apr 2, 2015

B
J

# ? Mar 15, 2016 19:59

Kilo147: Apr 14, 2007; You remind me of the boss
What boss?
The boss with the power
What power?
The power of voodoo
Who-doo?
You do.
Do what?
Remind me of the Boss.

maxhush posted:

AJ - Maximum Eucalyptus

Don't they have a tendency to fall over in a light breeze?

Kilo147 fucked around with this message at 20:47 on Mar 15, 2016

# ? Mar 15, 2016 20:42

Vavrek: Mar 2, 2013; I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?

What, no elaborate preference voting scheme?

A
J

Thanks for making this its own game. This should be fun.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 21:13

paragon1: Nov 22, 2010; FULL COMMUNISM NOW

Our voting results shall be compiled by hand, in excel, as is dictated by Tree Law.

Voting is now closed. Seed beat nut by 3 votes, J won by a lot.

paragon1 fucked around with this message at 21:57 on Mar 15, 2016

# ? Mar 15, 2016 21:39

paragon1: Nov 22, 2010; FULL COMMUNISM NOW

Your parent whispers to you and your siblings while you are still a seed, and imbues in you the True Names of all living things, past, present, and future. To know a thing's True Name is to have knowledge of it, to be able to seek it out in the darkest and farthest reaches of the world. To speak it is to claim ownership, to denounce it is murder. To have no name at all is to be truly free.

You do not yet have a name, though one may be given to you. Some creatures are just rude like that.

Do not speak the names of your fellow Trees, for it is forbidden by Tree Law.

Do not speak the name of a demon, for it shall hollow you out and rot everything you touch.

Do not speak the name of the Mad, for they shall make you one of them.

Do not speak the name of a god, for they shall annihilate you and all of your line.

You cannot speak the names of the dead.

You cannot speak the names of the not yet born.

You cannot tell a True Name to one who does not know it, unless something of equal value is given in exchange.

You wait with your parent in the only place you have ever known, alone atop a hill, vast planes surrounding you. A meandering, sluggish river passes by the foot of the hill, and trails off into the horizon. You can see other trees in the distance, too far to hear. Your parent relies on birds for news. The wind stirs, and the changing of a season will soon be upon you.

The time of your departure fast approaches, your parent has three means by which you may leave.

A) Ride the wind, to wherever it might take you.

B) Drop in a protective cone. With luck, you will roll down the hill and reach the river, and hopefully wash up in an advantageous spot.

C) One of your parent's bird friends exchanged a future favor for shelter from a terrible storm. Your parent calls that favor in now, and tells it to take you with it on its migration. It's True Name enforces the deal.

I'll be in #madgod on synirc if you have questions or suggestions or just want to yell at me over railroading or people voting wrong.

paragon1 fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Mar 15, 2016

# ? Mar 15, 2016 22:42

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Seeds? Goddammit, I wanted to have hypnotic flowers and symbiotic relation between hallucinagenic fungus and our fruit.

C, let's become a weed in another ecosystem on a strange continent where we have no natural predators.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 22:46

the_steve: Nov 9, 2005; We're always hiring!

A - let fortune take us where it may

# ? Mar 15, 2016 23:03

mcclay: Jul 8, 2013; Oh dear oh gosh oh darn; Soiled Meat

# ? Mar 15, 2016 23:10

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

A- Surfs up, dudes!

# ? Mar 15, 2016 23:11

Kilo147: Apr 14, 2007; You remind me of the boss
What boss?
The boss with the power
What power?
The power of voodoo
Who-doo?
You do.
Do what?
Remind me of the Boss.

Outrail posted:

Seeds? Goddammit, I wanted to have hypnotic flowers and symbiotic relation between hallucinagenic fungus and our fruit.

C, let's become a weed in another ecosystem on a strange continent where we have no natural predators.

C as well. While A ensures similar growing conditions, and B ensures closeness, C allows us to start in a new area, worth the risk to have little competition, assumung our bird friend doesn't drop us off in a lush forest

# ? Mar 15, 2016 23:14

RandomPauI: Nov 24, 2006; Grimey Drawer

# ? Mar 15, 2016 23:18

Jormagund: Jul 17, 2005; Totally gay for Puffery

C: It's True Name enforces the deal.

Surely the deal is that we get taken to a favourable location rather than relying on luck/fate.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 23:22

Punkinhead: Apr 2, 2015

C

Let the winds decide, maybe we'll get blown into a crack on a sidewalk in Chernobyl.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 23:30

paragon1: Nov 22, 2010; FULL COMMUNISM NOW

Outrail posted:

Seeds? Goddammit, I wanted to have hypnotic flowers and symbiotic relation between hallucinagenic fungus and our fruit.

This is still a possibility.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 23:31

HiHo ChiRho: Oct 23, 2010

C you later Spruce Lords

# ? Mar 15, 2016 23:32

Theglavwen: Jun 10, 2006; Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Go into the water in a cone? What nonsense is this? Coniferous trees don't use water to disperse seeds, they don't even grow in abundant water :colbert:

A, roll the dice!

# ? Mar 15, 2016 23:33

100 HOGS AGREE: Oct 13, 2007; Grimey Drawer

HiHo ChiRho posted:

C you later Spruce Lords

# ? Mar 15, 2016 23:44

Nyaa: Jan 7, 2010; Like, Nyaa.

B. Bombshell dropping... Or a protective cone of poop.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 23:44

Erghh: Sep 24, 2007; "Let him speak!"

A

see things from the point of view of a leaf :yayclod:

# ? Mar 15, 2016 23:58

SerSpook: Feb 13, 2012

# ? Mar 16, 2016 00:04

Hobolicious: Oct 7, 2012; The military might of a country represents its national strength. Only when it builds up its military might in every way can it develop into a thriving country.

C, let's see where this bird is going.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 00:16

Poldarn: Feb 18, 2011

I want to C where we'll end up.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 00:18

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Carry us to Paradise, Larry Bird!

# ? Mar 16, 2016 01:07

HBar: Sep 13, 2007

C, this is far too important to leave to chance.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 01:08

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

HBar posted:

C, this is far too important to leave to chance.

Agreed.

C

# ? Mar 16, 2016 01:23

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

paragon1 posted:

This is still a possibility.

Yeah but we'll have to undergo some pretty heavy mutation/evolution to get there.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 01:30

zetamind2000: Nov 6, 2007; ~~I'm an alien.~~

# ? Mar 16, 2016 01:50

hollylolly: Jun 5, 2009; Do you like superheroes? Check out my CYOA Mutants: Uprising

How about weird historical fiction? Try Vampires of the Caribbean

C - I wish I was a bird, then I could fly far, far away.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 02:02

Mr. Nemo: Feb 4, 2016; I wish I had a sister like my big strong Daddy

# ? Mar 16, 2016 02:15

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

It occurs to me that while being carried by a bird to a new home inside its gut is pretty baller.

It may be even more baller to germinate early and make the bird our new home as a plant-animal parasite.

##unvote

##Vote

C;Outrail

Betrayal! Germinate inside the bird and begin parasitizing upon our host.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 02:17

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 07:36

Auralsaurus Flex: Aug 3, 2012

C; any bird friend of Treemomdad is a bird friend of mine.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 02:36

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > The Game Room > You are a tree. (CYOA)

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