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Match of the Night
Sonnen - Bisping
Angle - Mysterio
Jones, Jr - Philips
Harvey - Ritch
East & West Toward The Front Over The Entire Surface Falls Count Anywhere Weapon Treasure Hunt Match
Riff Raff
View Results
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OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 10, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick


Nap Ghost




Now with special guest commentator Jim Ross

HOW TO ORDER: https://www.urshow.tv/Events/UR%20Fight

Hello and welcome to yet another trainwreck hell of a show.

URFight is an iPPV that will be put on by URshow.tv, an online network that has decided to start off with a bang.

There will be 4 events on this card. MMA, Boxing, Wrestling, Grappling! There's something on the card for everyone in Rowdy Ringsports to enjoy!

Plus there will be plenty of guest celebrities!


Boxing:
Roy Jones, Jr. vs. Vyron Philips


Roy Jones, Jr. is an accomplished boxer, dating back to his amateur days where he won a gold medal in the Seoul Olympics obvious to literally everyone in the world but 3 judges. He has a record of 62-9 (45 KOs) and won numerous boxing championships.


Originally advertised as Roy Jones Jr vs a fan, someone decided there was nothing in the rules that said that the fan couldn't be a 6-3 MMA fighter.

Plus they'll be cornered by these geeks


MMA:
Shannon "The Cannon" Ritch vs. Maverick Harvey

This match has been pretty tumultuous. Originally announced as Dan Severn vs Ken Shamrock, it was changed to Severn vs Tank Abbott after Royce Gracie kneed Shamrock in the balls.

The Arizona commission refused to license Abbot before weigh in for medical reasons, and as a result Severn backed out.

Now it's Ritch vs Harvey 3. Maybe Severn started growing a beard.


Ritch has fought for 20+ years in various promotions and has 112 wins in over 200 fights.

Harvey is 10-4-1 in his career and has won his previous 2 fights with Ritch by TKO in 2005 and 2006.

Wrestling:

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Kurt Angle is a 2 time NCAA D1 Heavyweight Champion, Olympic Gold Medalist, and 7 time world champion across his different stints in major wrestling promotions like WWE and NJPW.


Rey Mysterio Jr. has been wrestling for 27 years, making his debut at the age of 14. One of the original stars of the Mexican promotion AAA, Mysterio soon started working in ECW and then WCW. In WCW he made a national name for himself, bringing the high flying lucha libre to new heights in the US. Mysterio worked in WWE for about 12 years and won 3 world titles, had his sons's paternity questioned, and left WWE after he was booed for not being Daniel Bryan. He returned to AAA, killed a man, and is now one of the stars on Lucha Underground.

Grappling:

Chael Sonnen vs Michael Bisping



Chael's retired and Bisping is 3 weeks removed from his victory over Anderson Silva. Have some photos I found instead.



PLUS SPECIAL MUSICAL GUEST APPEARANCE BY RIFF RAFF

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Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



Nap Ghost

are there any prelims or does the action start at 9?

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 10, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick


Nap Ghost

Mr. Nice! posted:

are there any prelims or does the action start at 9?

There was no preliminary card that I could find.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


To break even, they need 200k buys

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002




You are fight

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.




We could get a spinning ring!

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 10, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick


Nap Ghost

Chris James 2 posted:

To break even, they need 200k buys

199,999*

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


This is all to build up to the main course btw

Bard Maddox
Feb 15, 2012

I'm just a sick guy, I'm really just a dirty guy.


ayn rand hand job posted:


Harvey is 10-4-1 in his career and has won his previous 2 fights with Ritch by TKO in 2005 and 2006.

why didn't he get the nipple tattooed too

ThePariah
Feb 10, 2014

Bad day, bad day, BAD DAY!

This show is actually happening? And it's tonight?

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

Who the gently caress put money up for this

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


Kurt/Rey is 2 out of 3 falls apparently



you're going down, rey

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless


Seltzer posted:

Who the gently caress put money up for this

Golashes
Aug 8, 2006

team starslay3r!!!!!!

yeah i don't really know what im lookin at here

K8.0
Feb 26, 2004

Her Majesty's 56th Regiment of Foot

This is the funniest concept for a card I've ever seen. Whoever managed to get investors for this is wasting their talent, because they can clearly sell anything.

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless


Yeah. As funny as this card is I suspect that the people funding and organizing this might be their own kind of funny.

Mob
May 6, 2002

I wanted to change my avatar but I didn't have a good title so I wanted to say suck it hot dogs are sandwiches


wait I have money, I can watch this and DVR Bar Rescue

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.


I read that the ticket sales are trash. There's no advertising. Oh and front row tickets are $100.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


lmao oops

Chris James 2 fucked around with this message at Mar 20, 2016 around 22:41

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002


Chris James 2 posted:

Pretty convenient how there's a hospital right by the parking lot



bad news, chris james 2

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

We All Live In Kawalimus' House


Rey and Angle should have been booked to fight at Hazelwoods Hospitality

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


I'm torn. I kinda want to see what this event is (admittedly much less now that Severn vs Abbott is cancelled), but on the other hand I don't want to give these people my information.

The SituAsian
Oct 29, 2006

PLEASE WORK OUT

*Puts on comically oversized turban*

*Holds notecard to turban*

Roy Jones Jr. will get violently knocked out and it will be sad.

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

I'm more interested in sonnen bisping and angle mysterio then the other two events and I don't watch pro wrestling/rarely watch grappling events. What a weird loving card.

Keg
Sep 22, 2014


Maverick Harvey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUgW_poFCvU

Golashes
Aug 8, 2006

team starslay3r!!!!!!

Is JR doing commentary for the whole thing? If so, I mean, it's like ten bucks so whatever

Keg
Sep 22, 2014


Maverick Harvey is also one of the people on Storage Wars.

Pinstripe Hourglass
Nov 27, 2008

=RIVER PEOPLE=
Ay yi yi! We look
like... cartoons!


What is even the target audience for this thing

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


Pinstripe Hourglass posted:

What is even the target audience for this thing

"Some people like grappling
Some people like MMA
Some people like boxing
Some people like wrestling

If we combine all in one event, we'll get all those viewers!!"

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 10, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick


Nap Ghost

45 MINUTES TO GO!

some old hussy
Dec 6, 2005

What are you waiting for? You're faster than this. Don't think you are, know you are. Come on. Stop trying to hit me and hit me.

Pinstripe Hourglass posted:

What is even the target audience for this thing

gently caress it

Golashes
Aug 8, 2006

team starslay3r!!!!!!

there's no loving chance i'm giving these guys my CC info so thank god it takes paypal

Eltoasto
Aug 26, 2002

We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.


Grimey Drawer

Ugh I wanna watch a trainwreck but don't really feel like spending $12 on it.

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009



this gave me some fierce douchechills

Golashes
Aug 8, 2006

team starslay3r!!!!!!

Here's Famous URSHOW.TV Sports Pundit Jenn Sterger and Prominent Maybe Still Russian, Or Bulgarian, Or Something WWE Wrestler, Or Manager, Or Something Lana making their television debut eleven years ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Pj2zV5FdYU

Also jesus loving christ these preshow ads need their volume levels fixed

cronox2
Jul 24, 2010



woah, you look
REALLY pissed off...


She made quite the impression on Brett Favre too.

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 10, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick


Nap Ghost

Keg
Sep 22, 2014


Original joke that I'm saving for later this evening, do not steal:

More like DURR FIGHT

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless


Eltoasto posted:

Ugh I wanna watch a trainwreck but don't really feel like spending $12 on it.

Skip two meals.

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Keg
Sep 22, 2014


Rey Mysterio has a neckbeard.

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