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Cornwind Evil
Dec 14, 2004


The undisputed world champion of wrestling effortposting

Charles Gnarwin posted:

Vince wished to break the attendance record and then a monkey's paw curled into a hearty middle finger. Turns out he will break the attendance record at the physical therapy facility.

That reminds me, is there any info about how that is going? Did he actually manage to sell 100,000 tickets?

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Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Whoever it was last week after the Neville injury who said "it's like this poo poo happens every week", please undo your curse

WadeBartender posted:

If Ryder is replacing Neville who the gently caress is Sin Cara replacing?
Because I refuse to believe Cara being in the match was a planned thing

They sure as gently caress weren't having him win the battle royale, and Kalisto's already booked (against Ryback, in a singles title match in a major 2016 PPV :laffo:)

abraham linksys
Sep 6, 2010

:darksouls:
im going to raw next week and at this point im worried a loving rafter is gonna fall on me

this cursed fuckin company

Critical
Aug 23, 2007

Other than Ambrose/Lesnar they have done everything wrong for this WM. It's hysterical.

Go RV!
Jun 19, 2008

Uglier on the inside.

i didnt watch raw, is there anything i should go back and watch

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

There are two undercard titles, the US Title and the IC Title. The IC Title is held by Kevin Owens and is being disputed in a 7-man clusterfuck that includes Sami Zayn, while the US Title is locked in a blood feud between bitter rivals Kalisto and Ryback

quote:

Whoever it was last week after the Neville injury who said "it's like this poo poo happens every week", please undo your curse

i'm sorry

Ostentatious
Sep 29, 2010

Critical posted:

Other than Ambrose/Lesnar they have done everything wrong for this WM. It's hysterical.

Jericho/AJ Styles is going to own

Roman Reigns
Aug 23, 2007

abraham linksys posted:

im going to raw next week and at this point im worried a loving rafter is gonna fall on me

this cursed fuckin company

You're not a professional wrestler, so you should be fine

I'm pretty sure Ziggler is quite hosed though.

Skinty McEdger
Mar 9, 2008

I have NEVER received the respect I deserve as the leader and founder of The Masterflock, the internet's largest and oldest Christopher Masterpiece fan group in all of history, and I DEMAND that changes. From now on, you will respect Skinty McEdger!

Next weeks Raw will feature zero matches and no contact between any of the wrestlers for fear someone else will get injured.

Somehow Ambrose will get electrocuted by a mic as he's cutting a promo.

Charles Gnarwin
Jul 31, 2014

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.
:boom:
he knows...


Roman Reigns posted:

You're not a professional wrestler, so you should be fine

I'm pretty sure Ziggler is quite hosed though.

Ahem, he will be fine because his primary occupation is stand-up comedian.

Sigma
Aug 24, 2003

...
Grimey Drawer
http://twitter.com/ZackRyder/status/712124672196911104

I wonder if Ryder and Ziggler paid for 20k stickers out of pocket.

keevo
Jun 16, 2011

:burger:WAKE UP:burger:

Cornwind Evil posted:

That reminds me, is there any info about how that is going? Did he actually manage to sell 100,000 tickets?

I think they're at like 80,000+ right now.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


That DICK! posted:

There are two undercard titles, the US Title and the IC Title. The IC Title is held by Kevin Owens and is being disputed in a 7-man clusterfuck that includes Sami Zayn, while the US Title is locked in a blood feud between bitter rivals Kalisto and Ryback

It only took Zayn 2 full weeks on the main roster officially to become just another guy. Even less time than Styles!

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Cornwind Evil posted:

That reminds me, is there any info about how that is going? Did he actually manage to sell 100,000 tickets?

set up for wrestling the building can only hold about 85,000 people. They've sold most of the tickets. Scalpers have a grip of those but they'll likely get very close to capacity by Wrestlemania

a.lo
Sep 12, 2009

Sticky Nate posted:

How am I supposed to give a poo poo about Harper when my main man KANE is back?

Critical
Aug 23, 2007

Chris James 2 posted:

It only took Zayn 2 full weeks on the main roster officially to become just another guy. Even less time than Styles!

Seriously, Owens vs Sami is a guaranteed awesome match with Sami gunning for revenge. No idea how they hosed this up.

Go RV!
Jun 19, 2008

Uglier on the inside.

Critical posted:

Seriously, Owens vs Sami is a guaranteed awesome match with Sami gunning for revenge. No idea how they hosed this up.

I have to imagine theyre' giving that more time as a long-running storyline for after, and not wasting it on a 3 week build to Mania.

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


Transcript from my wrestling podcast:

Everblight: Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, children of all ages, welcome to Worked Shoot Radio, I'm Del...

Joe: And I'm Joe...

EB: And we're here to review Raw for 3/21.

Both: [40 minutes of inchoate screaming]

Joe: We'reouttatimewe'llseeyouonthunder!

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Critical posted:

Seriously, Owens vs Sami is a guaranteed awesome match with Sami gunning for revenge. No idea how they hosed this up.

They do a big multiman match at mania where the rest of the guys in the match prevent Sami from getting his hands on owems and then clear out the chaff and heat up the feud for a singles match at extreme rules. Bit early to say they hosed it up by not blowing a feud off immediately.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?



Not feeling this Five Nights at Freddy's remake.

mclast
Nov 12, 2008

catchphrase over

Skinty McEdger posted:

Next weeks Raw will feature zero matches and no contact between any of the wrestlers for fear someone else will get injured.

Somehow Ambrose will get electrocuted by a mic as he's cutting a promo.

a TV will explode on him but this time for real

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Chris James 2 posted:

It only took Zayn 2 full weeks on the main roster officially to become just another guy. Even less time than Styles!

lol at thinking AJ is just another guy

Double lol at thinking they've done that with Sami by immediately slotting him into a title feud which is probably gonna end with him winning and getting a longer program with Owens

Blaise330
Aug 13, 2007

GOD'S FAVORITE CHAMPION
Seems like the US title should be the clusterfuck laddermatch with Kalisto doing some insane ladder spots and the IC title should be the bitter-rivals singles match.

Ostentatious
Sep 29, 2010

I CANT BELIEVE THEY BURIED SAMI ZAYN

Captain Magic
Apr 4, 2005

Yes, we have feathers--but the muscles of men.
I think it's the Reigns push that's cursed.

ShakeZula
Jun 17, 2003

Nobody move and nobody gets hurt.

Blaise330 posted:

Seems like the US title should be the clusterfuck laddermatch with Kalisto doing some insane ladder spots and the IC title should be the bitter-rivals singles match.

What, you can't picture the intense video package chronicling the bitter hatred between Kalisto and Ryback, featuring such ice-cold barbs as "You wear a mask, like a superhero, and I respect that"?

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

Le Saboteur posted:

What the gently caress is this an outtake because this looks like a flubbed shot or something.

It's reversed

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Codependent Poster posted:

lol at thinking AJ is just another guy

Double lol at thinking they've done that with Sami by immediately slotting him into a title feud which is probably gonna end with him winning and getting a longer program with Owens

So where should I start here, Sami having a Mania match with Ryder and Sin Cara which is magically important somehow, or Styles joining the list of guys in recent history like Bray Wyatt who have had feuds with Jericho that never end

Genuinely curious which of these I'm supposed to lavish as revolutionary and starmaking and why

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

Blaise330 posted:

Seems like the US title should be the clusterfuck laddermatch with Kalisto doing some insane ladder spots and the IC title should be the bitter-rivals singles match.

yes. i don't know why this concept is so foreign to you above jabronis making fun.

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

lol zack ryder has a match at wrestlemania

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

"they're saving kevin owens vs. sami zayn for down the line" - a retarded person

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


I can't believe that Sami Zayn has already fallen under the hateful eye of Roman Reigns and is condemned to feud with Ryder and Stardust forever. It's the only conclusion I can draw.

Food Court Druid
Jul 17, 2007

Boredom is always counter-revolutionary. Always.
So tonight, we saw AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens in the second segment of RAW, in order to build to AJ vs. Jericho IV and a seven-man ladder match full of jobbers at Wrestlemania. This company is so loving backwards.

Astro7x
Aug 4, 2004
Thinks It's All Real
So far, here are all the announced participants for the Battle Royal

Heath Slater
Curtis Axel
Adam Rose
Bo Dallas
Big Show
Kane

Other people not doing anything as of yet...

Wyatts not named Luke Harper (RIP)
Damien Sandow
Darren Young
Diego/Fernando
Fandango
Goldust
Swagger
League of Nation members not in the Tag Match
Ascension
R-Truth
Tyler Breeze

It's the biggest poo poo show ever.

4 inch cut no femmes
May 31, 2011
Rip the only Wyatt worth a drat

MotU
Mar 6, 2007

It was like she was evicting walking garbage.
Pillbug
people joke about political hits but someone is putting out Legit Murder Hits on Good Wrestlers and I Don't Like It

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

i can't believe vince mcmahon kicked sami zayn in the penis and shoved his face into a pile of dog poop and told him that no doubt only got good when they stopped doing ska

abraham linksys
Sep 6, 2010

:darksouls:
how are there people in this thread still optimistic about wwe's future plans for literally any wrestler

kalisto winning the US title is the only good thing to happen to this godforsaken main roster in ages and even it feels like a fluke and now involves loving RYBACK

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

"Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens in singles is going to happen at the next WrestleMania"
/
http://i.imgur.com/6slBoQc.gifv

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Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


abraham linksys posted:

how are there people in this thread still optimistic about wwe's future plans for literally any wrestler

kalisto winning the US title is the only good thing to happen to this godforsaken main roster in ages and even it feels like a fluke and now involves loving RYBACK

Plus it involved him winning it twice because they thought a 1 day title reign would make him sympathetic and get him over more lmao

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