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Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013

Let's Play Chase the Express (Covert Ops: Nuclear Dawn in the US)
Chase the Express is a late Ps1 action game that combines a few ideas from other games, mainly Resident Evil and Metal Gear Solid. Terrorists have taken over a hi-tech train with the French ambassador, and our hero, Jack Morton is the only one who can stop them. Sounds cheesy? It is. Awkward action, bad voice acting, puzzles (because why not) and a scenic train trip through Europe. This is gonna go off the rails!

The Let's Player
I've played this game before, but my co-commentator Heinzy knows nothing about it (which is good, since there are some hilarious cutscenes in store for him). Since this is a Finnish/Swedish joint lp, our schedules makes (around) one episode per week possible.

Spoilers
If you were one of the five people that played this, please don't spoil the predictable plot for anyone else.

*LATEST EPISODE*
Epilogue

Episode list
Ep1 - Once in a Blue Harvest
Ep2 - Just Russian Through
Ep3-1 - Saving the Family
Ep3-2 - Missile Commander
Ep4 - New Blood
Ep5 - Crossbow Carl
Ep6 - Lasers and robots?
Ep7 - The Postal Dude
Ep8 - Rayman Origins
Ep9 - I'm Rich Biatch!
Epilogue

Jonny McBane fucked around with this message at 09:30 on May 26, 2016

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Gideon020
Apr 23, 2011
I remember this game. It was a good game for one of those PSX 'Tank Control' shooter-adventure games.

I also remember how incredibly easy it is to screw yourself out of the best ending and therefore not get the Twin-PIstols which were awesome if memory still serves.

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013

Gideon020 posted:

I remember this game. It was a good game for one of those PSX 'Tank Control' shooter-adventure games.

To be fair, it's one of the better tank controls in terms of combat, the combat roll is a nice aid when cornered. That being said, tank controls are still tank controls.

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer
Please don't relegate commentary from each person to a single channel, it's very annoying.

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013

Zanzibar Ham posted:

Please don't relegate commentary from each person to a single channel, it's very annoying.

Alright, I'll keep that in mind for the next episode. I was trying to be fancy and keep us in our own channels just a bit. Do you find it better if all commentators are in the middle? This is a learning process for me, so thank you for the feedback.

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer
I personally like'em all in the middle if possible, I think some people have it so they're like 25% a certain direction? I usually don't notice it until it's too extreme.

And sorry for that abrupt post before, I'm kind of in bad times lately.

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013

Zanzibar Ham posted:

I personally like'em all in the middle if possible, I think some people have it so they're like 25% a certain direction? I usually don't notice it until it's too extreme.

And sorry for that abrupt post before, I'm kind of in bad times lately.
Hmm, according to Vegas, I had them 24% left and right. Anyway, our mic types are quite different, so yeah, it's gonna be smart to keep them in the middle on future updates. No worries about any "abrupt" posts, feedback is feedback.

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013
We are back! This time our hero (Jack Morton) is trying to locate the ambassadors family. Will he succeed? Let's find out in this suspense filled episode.

Ep2 - Just Russian Through

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013
If you haven't been following this let's play, let me get you up to speed.

Jack Morton is a good guy on a train. There are bad guys on the train. Bad guys took the ambassador hostage. Jack Morton rescued the ambassador. Now Jack is going to find the ambassadors family and make everyone happy, except the bad guys.

With everyone up to speed, here's the first part of episode 3.
Ep3-1 - Saving the Family

Crowetron
Apr 29, 2009

I'm like 80% sure that the wife and ten years old daughter are the same voice actor not even trying. This game is incredible.

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013

Crowetron posted:

I'm like 80% sure that the wife and ten years old daughter are the same voice actor
Voice actor might be pushing it a tad. Maybe just "voice".

ModeWondershot
Dec 30, 2014

Portu-geezer
The thing about this LP is that I am seeing this game and thinking that there is almost a good game in here. The train seems like it has a few good layouts and the plot seems like it could be rewritten as a serviceable thriller. The graphics seem fine and the voices, while bad, are certainly not outstandingly so and could just be written off as part of the era.

The main problem to me seems to be that they stopped halfway in most areas of the development. They had a decent Resident Evil control knockoff but didn't tune it for fighting other humans with guns. They have all of Metal Gear Solid's incidental information and context in the memos but don't elaborate on why any of it is relevant to the situation. They have the visuals and cutscene quality of a fairly good PS1-era title but bury it under bad writing and acting. This seems like it could have been at least a cult classic, but just seems like a disappointing chore.

All that said, I'll keep watching it for the commentary and weirdness, and look forward to missile-disarming misadventures.

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013

ModeWondershot posted:

The train seems like it has a few good layouts
I actually like that it takes place on a moving train, the issue is that the level design gets samey really fast. The game would have benefited from a full 3d style, but I'm guessing it wouldn't have worked too well on the PS1.

Like you said, it tries to be too many things without excelling in any of them.

That being said, here is a new episode.
Ep3-2 - Missile Commander

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013
In the last episode we met Billy, who was in a bad shape. Now we will forget about the terrorists for a while and do whatever it takes to save him. Priorities.

Ep4 - New Blood

ModeWondershot
Dec 30, 2014

Portu-geezer
I feel like this game could be improved by the inclusion of whatever weird comedy subplot could be shoehorned in about Billy's misadventures on the train.

Also, I bet the reason the Blue Harvest is so well-armed is so that the refugees can then rise up and displace the local populace wherever they land, so that the locals have to get on the Blue Harvest and become refugees themselves, creating a self-perpetuating cycle of sectarian violence that will ensure the Blue Harvest is always in use and necessary.

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013

ModeWondershot posted:

I feel like this game could be improved by the inclusion of whatever weird comedy subplot could be shoehorned in about Billy's misadventures on the train.

The new hit sitcom of the season, "All Aboard the Blue Harvest", starring Billy MacGuire as Billy MacGuire and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Jack Morton.

Sitcom transition music plays, Billy is laying in a bed, soaked in blood
Billy: "Oh man, what happened last night, I don't feel too good"
Jack Morton enters the room, audience cheers
Jack: "Billy, what the hell happened to you, you're covered in blood"
Billy: "I am?"
Billy looks at himself and sees the blood
Billy: "Huh, I guess I am"
Audience laughs
Jack: "Have you been drinking again?"
Billy: "I only had a couple of drinks last night!"
Jack: "Billy..."
Billy: "...And many couples after that..."
Audience laughs
Billy: "Well at least I still have my bulletproof vest on me"
Jack: "No you don't"
Billy notices his bulletproof vest is missing
Billy: "Boy oh boy this is gonna be a looong train trip..."
Audience bursts out laughing like maniacs
Cut to commercial

CBS, I'm waiting for your call.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

Just wanted to chime in that I'm enjoying this LP.

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013

Lotish posted:

Just wanted to chime in that I'm enjoying this LP.
Hey thanks! I've already captured the footage of the remainder of disc 1, and there's gonna be a few gameplay surprises in store. Jack gaining charisma isn't one of them.

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013
Time to ramp up the excitement with a boss battle and a mini game (quality of boss battle and mini game not guaranteed).

Ep5 - Crossbow Carl

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013
This game takes a few dumb turns. You could say it derailed itself from sense, because the game takes place on a train, and that is the joke.

This is the final video of disc 1 (of 2), but among other things it apes from MGS, the second disc is much much shorter. I'm not gonna lie, there's some hilarious nonsensical stuff coming soon. Until then, enjoy the latest update with lasers and robots.

Ep6 - Lasers and robots?

ModeWondershot
Dec 30, 2014

Portu-geezer

Jonny McBane posted:

This game takes a few dumb turns. You could say it derailed itself from sense, because the game takes place on a train, and that is the joke.

Haha, I feel like between that joke and the ones made in the video, you would appreciate the use of the following smiley:

:thejoke:

Also, talking about Johnny 5 before gunning down a robot killed me. Keep it up!

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013
Thank you for the kind words! This has been a fun experiment to do.

This update is a bit longer than the last few, but it's worth it. Boss fights, cutscenes, action, bromance. Everything a growing child needs. If my scientific calculator is correct, there will be three more episodes after this one. Hang on, we're almost there!
Ep7 - The Postal Dude

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013
Time for a bunch of plot revelations and the final second- tier boss fight. Can Jack Morton handle it? Yes, he can.

Ep8 - Rayman Origins

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013
My calculations were wrong, so here we have the final chunky episode of this LP! Not to spoil anything, but there's going to be a cutscene that is the cutscene of all cutscenes. All the plot threads will be resolved and we can all enjoy a happy ending (in the game, mind you). Also, action and bad voice acting as usual.

Ep9 - I'm Rich Biatch!

Thank you all who followed our first attempt at a let's play, we had fun, and I hope you did too. I learned a bunch of stuff about workflow for these things which is gonna help me in the future. I'm also gonna look into audio a lot more in the following videos, this time it was a pain to mix properly. As always, feedback is welcome; what worked, what sucked, what was shameful, what WHAT!?

This is the end of the actual game, but there's gonna be a little bonus video to close off this thread. ETA for that is somewhere between a week or two. Look forward to that!

tomanton
May 22, 2006

beam me up, tomato
I had fun, thanks for a good LP of a not so good game. We can think of it as a spiritual successor to The Last Express with all the good parts taken out.

Just how fast does a train have to go to make St. Petersburg - Paris via Switzerland in three and a half hours?

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013

tomanton posted:

Just how fast does a train have to go to make St. Petersburg - Paris via Switzerland in three and a half hours?
Hey, Blue Harvest runs on uranium... and magic. That amounts to a lot of speed units.

ModeWondershot
Dec 30, 2014

Portu-geezer
Wow, this entire game seems like it would be worth suffering through just to see that scene with Mason. I would imagine that the reason he fights you in the helicopter at the end is that he is pissed that you tricked him with the wrong disk.

Also, the bit with Christina asking you on a date is like the most shoehorned-in a romance subplot as I have ever seen even in an action movie/game.

I did like the LP and the deadpan humour that you and Heinzy bring to the table, though I would be curious to know if you intend to keep playing bad games or maybe introduce us to one you actually enjoy.

Finally, I have to admit that while this game ultimately had little worth remembering, I was rather partial to the end credits' live rendition of the boss theme.

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013

ModeWondershot posted:

I would be curious to know if you intend to keep playing bad games or maybe introduce us to one you actually enjoy.
Yes and yes. There's one obscure game I absolutely love in every way despite all of it's major flaws, and I'm gonna lp it at some point. I wanna do that game justice, and make the lp as good as I possibly can. In order to make that happen, I'm gonna do a couple more bad games with Heinzy, just to get our flow working well and to learn as many editing and mixing tips. I think I teased our next lp in one of the CtE videos, so get ready for some Resident Evil: Survivor in the future!

Also, that end credits song is pretty nifty indeed.

Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013
As promised, here's a little bonus video for you. Production funded by all the ad revenue I got during the lp.

Epilogue

Thank you, good night.

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer

Jonny McBane posted:

As promised, here's a little bonus video for you. Production funded by all the ad revenue I got during the lp.

Epilogue

Thank you, good night.

drat, that was movie quality!

Thanks for the LP and for chasing expresses so we won't have to.

ModeWondershot
Dec 30, 2014

Portu-geezer

Jonny McBane posted:

As promised, here's a little bonus video for you. Production funded by all the ad revenue I got during the lp.

Epilogue

Thank you, good night.

The fingers visible to the side as the CD case flips through the air killed me. Now that the game is dead too, I have to play it in the afterlife.

Thanks for the LP, and hope to hear more from you guys!

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Jonny McBane
Dec 13, 2013
Thank you both.

It was a silly idea I had, and no one was here to stop me. Well, that pretty much takes care of this thread. See you in the future!

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