Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«17 »
  • Post
  • Reply
ChubbyChecker
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

cda

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

personally when confronted with a mysterious black disk held in a demon's mouth, i would remove that portion of wall with my bulldozer. likewise, the collapsing ceiling trap would be trivial to escape from using just the bucket on my bulldozer. "im sorry, acerack" i would mutter "i keep loving up your traps with my rad-rear end bulldozer."


sig by vanisher

Slush Garbo

Corbin Bernsen eat your heart out

ulvir


Manifisto




GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:



did I miss the party?


thanks to kaiser schnitzel for the sig

cda

City of Glompton








thank you vanisher!

google THIS


Thread title: "i think my weighted blanket is too heavy"

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




biosterous posted:



gotta stay camouflaged, in this byob war

ulvir


Manifisto





thanks to kaiser schnitzel for the sig

owlhawk911

there are too many good posts to keep track of but


as an accidental pg3 snipe in the lets make a monster thread keeps popping into my head and cracking me up. only two words but context/timing is everything, you can't fake that


https://i.imgur.com/vLsp28z.mp4
this sig brought to you by heather papps

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




slam dunk posted:

i'm posting the composite of av requests i made for posterity. these are well over 10 years old. i wish i could go back.


Heather Papps


hello internet friend




BoldFrankensteinMir posted:

Do prepare wooden stakes, garlic braid, holy water vessels (at least two) and, if possible, a willing member of the local clergy, but they must be disguised or the trucker thralls will keep them from ever getting through the front door.

Do not look directly at the eyes of the master vampire, especially if you have already slain all their minions! Not having to concentrate on keeping all those people enthralled actually frees up their demonic powers, as do the packets of "ketchup" they leave everywhere as emergency health boosting items.



Do destroy any and all gargoyles visible from the outside before entering the Wafflehouse.

Do not forget the hood ornaments! Especially on Peterbilt and Mack trucks (both vampire-owned brands); although seemingly insignificant, a swarm of suddenly animated tiny chrome bulldogs, swans and naked ladies can pick off members of your party before you're even out of the parking lot!



Do tip your server with cash. As a creature of the night they are unable to enter banks or ATM kiosks without an invitation and therefore cannot use direct deposit or pre-paid cards. And they're still working hard to serve you (and Satan).

Do not include old, real-silver coins in your tip, unless this is your opening move and, once the server begins screaming as the coins burn through their unsuspecting hand flesh, your priest companion begins immediately throwing bottles of holy water and power-stroking a rosary. This is admittedly a bold gambit but there really isn't a safe way to purge a Wafflehouse of undead, so whatever you're doing, do it and get out.

cda

fartzilla posted:

i wasn't going to do this but you forced my hand

it's time for ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* COOKIN' WITH FARTZILLA *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

hi goons I am BYOB superstar fartzilla. you may know me from such hits as "the thomas pynchon fan club" and "i can't stop eating uncooked spaghetti." well today i'd love to share one of my favorite recipes with you. this one is extra special to me because i learned it during an 8 month stay abroad in a vietnamese prison

✧・゚: *✧・゚:* MISE EN PLACE *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

this is one of my favorite recipes because of how simple it is! all you need is a packet of raw, uncooked (this is important!) spaghetti and a can of tomato paste. EASY PEASY

✧・゚: *✧・゚:* PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

look at you, you big dumb rear end! the spaghetti is too big to fit in the bowl!!!! what are you going to do??? THE SOLUTION IS EASIER THAN YOU THINK. just break the spaghetti in half!! that's it! and NOW IT'S PERFECT


now you just smear some tomato paste on it and you're GOOD TO GO

BON APPETIT

join me next time, when i present the results of my extensive orzo research as a brief video essay. check out a sneak preview below:
https://imgur.com/aBovQZ0


sig by vanisher

google THIS


Barco Fiesta posted:

his bod is sweaty, bed soft, blanket's heavy
he brushed his teeth and laid down already, time for beddy

Barco Fiesta posted:

Snap back to reality, way too much gravity
Oh, what a tragedy bro
It's so blankety, can't take it back cause he lost
the receipt when he drove his car back from the store,
it don't matter, his sheets are more wet than before,
he's so damp that he knows, when he goes back to the Costco, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo, this whole rhapsody
He better go return this blanket and hope it don't smash him

You better lose yourself in the blanket, it's weighted
You bought it, and now your sinking through the floor
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to go
to the bathroom before you get under the blanket

You better lose yourself in the blanket, it's weighted
You bought it, and now youre skining through the floor
I'm serious, listen, do not miss your chance to go
to the bathroom before you get trapped under the blanket

City of Glompton




Slush Garbo

Corbin Bernsen eat your heart out

woops I thought i put this here, but I put it back in the thread -


(I think my weighted blanket is too heavy)

pixaal posted:
I went to sleep on the sixty nineth floor

I woke up in the basement



City of Glompton posted:
ah you requested the turn down for what service

Kaiser Schnitzel

Schnitzel mit uns







ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

Six-Of-Hearts

"I want to break your heart, and give you mine."





Goons Are Great

Please drink responsibly



Barking Gecko

Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

google THIS posted:

A race of elves from the land of Gou'Fa Qyors who can't understand why every attempt they make to introduce themselves to another race results in war.

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




alnilam posted:

*okiedoke pacing around in front of the witness stand like a lawyer getting towards a crazy shocking point* do you or do you not have stairs in your house, and may I remind you you are under oath!

Judge: will the juror please be seated, this is not how trials work

Defendant: i am protected

Audience gasps

Judge: ... Proceed


thanks everyone for posting, but six and vanisher especially!!!

cda


cda


sig by vanisher

Pot Smoke Phoenix

It's not as bad as it looks

take the moon



cda


i belly laughed for like five straight minutes when i saw that gif, it really tickled me, thank you for making my day brighter :cheers


sig by vanisher

Uxzuigal

Chill Berserker Dude

albany academy posted:

rogan: being a wizard must be cool. Probably see some wild poo poo am I right?

Harry: oh yeah, loads. Crazy spells, some real weird stuff *inhales* and like *cough* fuckin dragons

Rogan: dragons? poo poo

harry: yeah man

Rogan: Jesus. You ever seen a chimp up close?

<3 <3 Vanisher

take the moon



nut posted:

buy grinds every sunday from a small bosnian man at the farmer's market even if i try 2 avoid hiis gaze he identifies me from distance as easy target i buy 1 lb. of the smoked dark roast they ask if they can grind it for me and i say no i pay and immediately leave the farmers market in shame i go hom eand grind the bean in a small electronic coffee bean grinder that can double as a spice grinder if u like ur spices to be coffee i dump half on the counter as i try to pat the ground out into a funnel that is too small into an ornate glass jar my great aunt got me in ""war times""". from the glass jar i scope 3 spoons of grounds into the base of my stove top percolator settling the grounds above a base filled w slightly chilled tap water stove on medium pot on stove i sit and wait b y the time the coffee is done my tears r dry i pour aa cup of 85% coffee and 15% skim milk because i was raised to have weak bones in the countryside where instead we value sunken eyes and dry lips. i drink a third of the coffee and leave the rest for god

DOPE FIEND KILLA G



lmao

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

albany academy


google THIS posted:

"Master has given Dobby a Glock!"

"What?! No I di--"

*BANG*

google THIS


Heather Papps posted:

i told my gf i wanted to be a poet and she took a pic then made a meme, posted it to instagram, and now she has a netflix show called "my ex bf is a dumb loving idiot piece of poo poo"

magic cactus

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation




----------------
Thanks to Pot Smoke Phoenix and Heather Papps For The Amazing Sigs!

cda


lol thank you for putting this in this thread. i would not have seen it otherwise


sig by vanisher

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




Six-Of-Hearts posted:

I haven't even properly set the nib and feed and it's like it was made for my hand (but not this cheap rear end paper)



thanks everyone for posting, but six and vanisher especially!!!

Six-Of-Hearts

"I want to break your heart, and give you mine."






lmao wrong thread, friend



👻 City of Glompton is my friend 👻 & Thank you Vanisher and nut and cda

Pot Smoke Phoenix

It's not as bad as it looks

Six-Of-Hearts posted:

lmao wrong thread, friend

It's exactly where it needs to be



Sig by City of Glompton and God Speed John Glenn, two awesome BYOB people!

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




Six-Of-Hearts posted:

lmao wrong thread, friend

i know what i am doing


thanks everyone for posting, but six and vanisher especially!!!

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«17 »