Peter Daou Bundy posted:

*being unfrozen* holy jeepers! the mcrib is back?!

*nervously explaining* uhh yes, but. . .

i can't WAIT to eat a mcrib!

*scientist sweating nonstop* sir, the earth as you know it no longer exists, and the oceans have boiled to nothing. . .

*me, thinking seriously* but the mcrib is okay, right?

cda posted:

when weed was illegal

dealer: try this strain, its called "Cartel Mule poo poo" because it was grown by mexican cartels and its covered in the poo poo of the drug mules they use to bring it into the country. the poo poo is what gets you hosed up its less than 1% thc. dont worry though its not physically addictive, its only psychologically addictive, it cant kill you, only make you schizophrenic. its all ive got, if you dont want this, i've got some oregano for ya, ether way once you buy it i'm going to bust you because i'm a cop.

me: chill

now that weed is legal

marijuana sommelier: weve got sixty strains you can choose among, from Marlboro Green to Marlboro Green Ultra. the one you want is mostly going to depend on what kind of high you want to get and what vape you have, because they put a chip in the weed so you can only use it with a Licensed Vape. the chip is what gets you hosed up, and when you smoke it it goes in your blood and you become the property of the company. this strain is called Sackler Gold and its physically, sexually, environmentally, psychologically, and digitally addictive. its nine trillion percent thc. the only way to come down from the high is to murder someone and eat their eyeballs but dont worry, thats exactly what you'll want to do once you smoke it. if you don't like this, too bad because i'm a cop amd if you don't buy it i have to shoot you or they send me to cop jail.

me: not chill

google THIS posted:

Bo-Pepper posted:

me thinking about butttheshitmanfart

Royal Updog posted:

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES
THESE GLOVES ARE REALLY STRONG

google THIS posted:

NO LACERATIONS
JUST FRICTION
DON'T GIVE A FART IF I BUTT MY OWN SHITMAN