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Shaquin
May 12, 2007

spud posted:

I am not a big comic book fan, but I never understood this one:

Batman: Normal dude who is just super rich, pretty smart, and works out a lot.

Superman: Is an alien that can fly, lift up a truck, immune to bullets, can fire lasers from his eyes

How can batman ever win?

kryptonite power armor from the one comic where this happened iirc

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Shaquin
May 12, 2007
indeed in the high brow field of "big name comic book movie" it is a true upset when they turn out to be horrible garbage and is certainly not just what all of them are intrinsically

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
they have carefully plotted the course for the next twenty years of these films, they will never stop.

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
thats 100% accurate in this scenario

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
Blade was the last of the good comic book movies

Shaquin
May 12, 2007

thathonkey posted:

If youre talking about the first Blade movie and none of the sequels then i agree

yeah of course.

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
everybody thinking Deadpool being a hard R was such a game changer it's like you dumb bastards Wesley nailed it in 98

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
i try not to remember the 90's because the sequel to them ended up being awful

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
you can never tell a good story with superman because hes the worst other than maybe that one comic where lex luthor tricks him into getting superman cancer and he is dying all star was it??

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
I also liked him in the run where its about all the justice leaguers being old timers in the world where super humans are in their second generation and running wild loving poo poo up because they are just duking it out in the streets and theres so drat many of them can't remember the name the art was so crazy for that made me kind of queasy to read it in a good way

Shaquin
May 12, 2007

Marshall Louis posted:

Whose permission would I need to use this as my av?

Dick Comics, acting CEO of DC Comics

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
why did they let ben affleck be kind of fat for this or is it just that he looks chub when jacked

Shaquin
May 12, 2007

Shinjobi posted:

There's a scene where he works out even MORE to prep for his fight with Superman. He doesn't look chub in it. Maybe that scene was added just for you.

he just looked kinda fat in the armor in the preview

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
shoulda been the kryptonite suit mentioned earlier giving him lethal cancer the whole time he was wearing it

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
the kryptonian penis gets more flaccid as arousal increases this is why his relationship with lois lane is so dysfunctional

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
idk i can see batman beating a lot of super powered folks but i dont think it would necessarily boil down to a crass literal bout of fist fighting more of an elaborate plotted out guillotine that hes had hanging over their head the whole time

Shaquin
May 12, 2007

vols bitch posted:

all movies are bad unless they are weekend at bernies

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
mask of the phantasm owns batman gets cock blocked by his parents inanimate gravestone

Shaquin
May 12, 2007

QuoProQuid posted:

i tried looking at the CineD thread on this movie and holy moly are there a lot of people trying to convince themselves that the movie is great and the critics are wrong

cinema discusso is ten percent people who've got pretty good chops on good movies and ninety percent people asking you why you think so hard about anything

the book barn is exactly the same situation

Shaquin
May 12, 2007

Profondo Rosso posted:

blade 2 was objectively the best blade movie (3 sucked)

provocatively retarded. really avante tard work.

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
battleship movie was kind of badass

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
dawn of the dead remake was so dope i have no idea what happened

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
i would like to sit in a cabin amongst the great red woods with liam neeson and by the warmth of the stone hearth share the brown liquor and sip deeply of sensible laughter and feel the armor of a finely sewn turtle neck about my throat

Shaquin
May 12, 2007

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

my only opinion on this film is that I hope what's her face as Wonder Woman is the only part that gets praised because comic book fans complained her tits were too small

shes not an amazon at all regardless of her tits

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
wonder woman should be charlotte flair jacked

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
dc should do a Shazam movie

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
the best comic books have nothing to do with superheroes and the best comic book movies are about folks from the roster well out of the traditional fold

Shaquin
May 12, 2007

Axel Serenity posted:

They are with Dwayne Johnson as Black Adam

I wana say this will be bad anyway but I'm mentally incapable of having a negative thought about The Rock so.

Shaquin
May 12, 2007

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

Avengers was just a good movie

Nice excellent, waste every ones time with the intro and destroy your credibility on the way out of the post classic

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
i dont even actually care about the avengers i dont think they are super great but nobody i know likes them even the couple of comic book nerds so its not a contentious issue in my world.

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
I'm a Bollywood executive producer and I am deeply worried I will be eternally trapped in Samsara

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
heres yer fucken justice league

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Shaquin
May 12, 2007
i see we are at the 25 page mark and id like to confirm comic book movies are still retarded for the many retards embroiled in fearsome debate in these tallowed halls

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