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Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Darkman Fanpage posted:

if i was your wife i would leave you for not shoveling the drive way

Shovels are for losers. Clear your driveway with flames. Bring the heat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHEy3tYd2rw

You can also use it to kill weeds in the summer. :black101:

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Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

Default Settings posted:

Might be that it's just me being European, but this house confuses me. Are you sure the walls are solid stone? Does it continue throughout your cellars? I can't see a discharging arch taking their weight off your window frames. Also, what is up with those chimneys? That's a horizontal diffuser style exhaust air vent, do you actually run a heater under that? If it's just an air vent, all those brick work is a bit much.

Yeah, why does it confuse you? Don't you know anything about Americans? It's all crap, all made for show. Garbage houses for garbage people. Just listen to how the OP expresses himself.

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Utz posted:

Yeah, why does it confuse you? Don't you know anything about Americans? It's all crap, all made for show. Garbage houses for garbage people. Just listen to how the OP expresses himself.

No, you are.

#owned

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
Go gently caress yourself, OP. Stick that joke cheap piece of poo poo house up your rear end.

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



Booblord Zagats posted:



Let me walk you through it.

First I gave you a concrete slab because that was easy to draw. Then I added some signage to help you advertise your house and its intent to the world. After that, I gave you a piece of themed pop-art to sit on the slab, to help with the signage's declaration. After that i drew a big ol wiener on your roof because that seemed fun to draw at the time. Then I spruced up your car's spare tire because it seems hopelessly dull.

finally a safespace for me

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Utz posted:

Go gently caress yourself, OP. Stick that joke cheap piece of poo poo house up your rear end.

Stop cyber bullying me.

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
Stop living. oval office.

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

:nws:http://i.imgur.com/QZBe7Tx.png:nws:

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




OP, pls trudge out into the snow to get pictures from your house from all angles. It's hard to get the creative juices flowing when your picture is mostly of your garage.

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

Angela Christine posted:

This is really good, but he did say he wants a screened in covered porch. Can you put a roof on it?

Pick up a few supplies at your local Home Depot, and any DIY'er can add a simple awning to their UBER-DECK.


Late Unpleasantness
Mar 26, 2008

s m o k e d
Forget the porch. Stay in the house. STAY IN THE HOUSE.

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Pick up a few supplies at your local Home Depot, and any DIY'er can add a simple awning to their UBER-DECK.




This has got a very nice "cask of ammontillado" style to it. Or however the gently caress you spell it

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves
I tried OP. If you need a building inspector I'm sure there's someone who can help.

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Pick up a few supplies at your local Home Depot, and any DIY'er can add a simple awning to their UBER-DECK.




Never have to shovel your driveway again!

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Pick up a few supplies at your local Home Depot, and any DIY'er can add a simple awning to their UBER-DECK.




Clearly the winner! Forward this on to your contractor OP and tell us what he gives you for an estimate.

Big Butt Skinner
Apr 16, 2005

Blueprints of the dummy...
Notarized photos of you making the dummy...
And an alternate wording for the banner: "Buttzilla."

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Trex is now offering the UBER-DECK.

Once the deck is installed, do not question the deck. Do not show your teeth around the deck. Do not look the deck directly in its joists. If the deck challenges you, do not run, simply be still and stare at the ground.



God drat, that's a beautiful deck.

rabble rabble
Mar 24, 2015



Nap Ghost

it really pulls the house together

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Okay, this is still a bit rough, I only had 3 hours to spare, but I think you get the idea.






See, the nicely screened in porch room is actually offset 10 feet from the rest of the house, then connected to the front door with a hallway. That way you can have a lovely porch without blocking the sun to your windows. This is similar to a box fort I made when I was 7, so I know the basic design is sound. You might want to use lumber and fake rocks or whatever so it blends in with the rest of the house though.

peanut
Sep 9, 2007


This deck is marshmallows and gummy worms but you could easily substitute peeps and twizzlers.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




peanut posted:

This deck is marshmallows and gummy worms but you could easily substitute peeps and twizzlers.



thanks for making my attempt look like garbage, rear end in a top hat

HoAssHo
Mar 10, 2005

:love::love::love:

Late Unpleasantness posted:

Forget the porch. Stay in the house. STAY IN THE HOUSE.



Underappreciated

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Building and addition onto your house will get pricy. Have you considered getting your wife a shed instead?



peanut
Sep 9, 2007


Angela Christine posted:

thanks for making my attempt look like garbage, rear end in a top hat

the door is a pop tart

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




peanut posted:

the door is a pop tart



:3: That's adorable.

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice
*lives in enormous house with dozens of rooms to avoid family*

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



RideTheSpiral posted:

*lives in enormous house with dozens of rooms to avoid family*

The American dream

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves
Just cash in OP! Turn your re-modeling into :10bux::clint: :10bux:PROFITS:10bux::clint::10bux:

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Build a little steel plate into it for kids to leave flaming bags of poop on.

Do kids still do flaming bags of poop? If they don't then I just don't loving understand this world anymore.

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something
Have you thought of buying your wife a simple gift? Something cheaper than a large deck and awning, but something that will be just as appreciated?


CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Have you thought of buying your wife a simple gift? Something cheaper than a large deck and awning, but something that will be just as appreciated?




I dunno, that looks like a pretty large deck to me.

HoAssHo
Mar 10, 2005

:love::love::love:

RideTheSpiral posted:

*lives in enormous house with dozens of rooms to avoid family*

I'm sorry you're so poor? That's not even an especially large house.

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice

HoAssHo posted:

I'm sorry you're so poor? That's not even an especially large house.


no women in the man cave

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

HoAssHo posted:

I'm sorry you're so poor? That's not even an especially large house.

You actually don't sound sorry at all.

CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!

HoAssHo posted:

I'm sorry you're so poor? That's not even an especially large house.

If you zoom the angle out a bit you can see that it's actually even smaller than it looks in the op's picture

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

Dave_Indeed posted:

It's not plastic, it's this thing.



It definitely feels like a stone. I could probably kill someone with it. This one fell off of the front step but it's okay, this Spring I have to rehang the gutters so water stops falling on the crack where they are adhered to the concrete slab and also I'm tearing out the landscaping, regrading and killing that god drat ground hog that lives under it. Probably with the decorative stone he helped break off.

Beautiful old world craftsmanship right here. A poo poo house for a poo poo head.

Fucked-Up Little Dog
Aug 26, 2008

Posting live from the nightmare future of Web 3.0




Scratchmo

yesssss

FormerPoster
Aug 5, 2004

Hair Elf
ok OP I think I got it, covered and everything. Hope the wife likes!

Snooze Cruise
Feb 16, 2013

hey look,
a post

lol

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bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004


also

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