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les enfants Terrific!
Dec 12, 2008


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Tunicate
May 15, 2012





"hardest d"

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


EDIT: STOOPID DOUBLE POSTS!

Samizdata has a new favorite as of 03:18 on Apr 17, 2016

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Tunicate posted:

Sadly the glasses only work for 30ish% of colorblind people, last I saw.

Yeah, well, I am blue-green-purple colorblind to a degree the military turned me down and my ex-wife would tease me about picking the wrong shirts and stuff, so yay for that 30%!

CJacobs posted:

Wow this lovely rehost straight up stole the video wholesale including the description, then slapped their own watermark on top of it. I guess the poo poo that didn't happen in this case was that that channel did not make the video! Here's the original:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCcxwieuDH0

And that is a serious rear end in a top hat manuever too. Clickbaiting scum.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


hogmartin posted:

"Meninist". I had to read that twice before I realized that it doesn't mean "subscribing to the theories of misogynist social philosopher Dr. Menin, whom I have never heard of". Maybe it's because it's capitalized for some reason. Also, I'm not terribly bright.

e: oh, or maybe she misspoke and meant to call him a Mennonite.

All I thought of was the old commericial jingle.

"Byyyyyyyy Meninist!"

(Sorry, I suck at YouTube time codes, but it is only about 28 seconds.)

ibntumart
Mar 18, 2007

Good, bad. I'm the one with the power of Shu, Heru, Amon, Zehuti, Aton, and Mehen.


College Slice

Usenet Classic STDH posted:

The following is a true story. It amused the hell out of me while it was happening. I hope it isn't one of those "had to be there" things.

On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting mad at me.

Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."

Server: "Is that it?"

Me: "Yep."
Server: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"

Me: "No, it's "TO-GO" [I hate effort duplication]

At this point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and . . .

Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"

Manager: "No. A what?"

Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."

Manager: "Ask for something else, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $2 BILL."

Server: "Yeah, thought so."

He comes back to me and says:

Server: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"

Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"

Server: "I don't know."

Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"

Server: "Yeah."

Me: "So, shouldn't you take it?"

Server: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to shoplift.

Server: "He says I have to take it."

Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"

Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."

Manager: "I'M NOT OPENING THE SAFE WITH HIM IN HERE." [My emphasis]

Server: "What should I do?"

Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money."

Server: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."

Manager: "Just tell him."

Server: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."

The manager approaches me and says:

Manager: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night." [It was 8pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well lighted indoor mall with 100 other stores.]

Me: "Well, here's a two."

Manager: "We don't take those either."

Me: "Why the hell not?"

Manager: "I think you know why."

Me: "No really, tell me, why?"

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."


Me: "What the hell for?"

Manager: "Please, sir."

Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."

Manager: "Would you please just leave?"

Me: "No."

Manager: "Fine, have it your way then."

Me: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45 year old-ish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a whisper]:

Security: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"

Manager: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."

Security: "Really? What?"

Manager: "Get this, a two dollar bill."

Security: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [Incredulous]

Manager: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is a fifty."

Security: "So, the fifty's fake?"

Manager: "NO, the $2 is."

Security: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"

Manager: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"

Security: "Yeah..."

Security guard walks over to me and says:

Security: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."

Me: "Uh, no."

Security: "Lemme see 'em."

Me: "Why?"

Security: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I wanted to eat, so I said:

Me: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill."

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says

Security: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"

Manager: "It's fake."

Security: "It doesn't look fake to me."

Manager: "But it's a $2 bill."

Security: "Yeah?"

Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue. My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food.

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW



Dinosaur Gum

So are $2 notes really uncommon (because ????????) in the US or is the manager just really dim

The Sexual Shiite
Apr 11, 2007


Khazar-khum posted:

Either that, or it's pathetic.

Submitter spotted.



CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

So are $2 notes really uncommon (because ????????) in the US or is the manager just really dim

They're pretty uncommon in the US, to the point where, if I'm remembering right, some researchers have convinced strip clubs to only make change in them to track how money flows through that community.

The Sexual Shiite has a new favorite as of 03:38 on Apr 17, 2016

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

So are $2 notes really uncommon (because ????????) in the US or is the manager just really dim

Kind of both. Two dollar bills are sort of a novelty currency, they're legal tender but you need to go out of your way to get them.

Minarchist
Mar 5, 2009

by WE B Bourgeois


LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Kind of both. Two dollar bills are sort of a novelty currency, they're legal tender but you need to go out of your way to get them.

You can just ask for them at the bank.

No one does because $2 bills are pointless. Sorry, Thomas

Tunicate
May 15, 2012





I like getting them from the bank because it makes people happy to see them in a tip.

Same thing for those golden dollar coins.

Samizdata posted:

Yeah, well, I am blue-green-purple colorblind to a degree the military turned me down and my ex-wife would tease me about picking the wrong shirts and stuff, so yay for that 30%!

During WWII the airforce would recruit colorblind people to be bomber pilots.

Turned out aerial camouflage of the day was a hell of a lot easier for colorblind people to spot, for whatever reason.

Tunicate has a new favorite as of 03:50 on Apr 17, 2016

Tunicate
May 15, 2012





ED:Doublepost

Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009


kizudarake posted:

Submitter spotted.


They're pretty uncommon in the US, to the point where, if I'm remembering right, some researchers have convinced strip clubs to only make change in them to track how money flows through that community.

I thought they just did that so you would have to tip more.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


Two dollar bills are considered lucky in South Korea, so my students always had them. I figured they were all North Korean counterfeit imports, but apparently not.

a very bad teacher posted:

Causing Participation Consternation
HIGH SCHOOL | TAMPA, FL, USA | BAD BEHAVIOR, POPULAR, TEACHERS
(My history teacher this year is notoriously bad. He does not let us take notes in class because “we should be engaged in class” and tries to have us guess what he is saying every few words. Everyone hates him, including the other history teachers, but he’s best friends with the headmaster of my school so he’s immune to getting fired, to everyone’s dismay.)

Teacher: “So, Henry the Eighth did what to England?”

(I raise my hand.)

Teacher: “Put your hand down [My Name]; you’ve answered already. Give other people a chance.”

(Nobody else has their hand up.)

Teacher: “See what happens when you always answer the questions? Everyone becomes dependent on you answering questions. I’m failing you for today because you are not giving other people a chance to answer the question.”

(I stop participating in class after that. Two weeks pass, and I am sleeping in class because I had just pulled an all-nighter and I am not allowed to participate in class.)

Teacher: “[MY NAME]!”

Me: “Wha… what?”

Teacher: “[My Name], stay after class. I have to talk to you about sleeping in class.”

Me: “Sure…”

(After class.)

Teacher: “Why weren’t you participating in class?”

Me: “You failed me and told me not to participate a couple weeks ago.”

Teacher: “I never said such a thing. I said to participate less. Find a middle ground!”

Me: “You failed me for raising my hand twice.”

Teacher: “No, I failed you for dominating the discussion. Today, though, sleeping in class is RUDE! It shows you don’t care.”

Me: “…”

Teacher: “What do you have to say about yourself? Was it appropriate to sleep in class?”

Me: “Sir…”

Teacher: “Was it appropriate to sleep in class?”

(I think for a few seconds.)

Me: “Yes, sir, it was appropriate to be sleeping in your class.”

Teacher: “Why?”

Me: “You don’t let us take notes; you don’t let me participate in class. If you refuse to teach me, I have better things to do with my time.”

Teacher: “YOU ARE BEING VERY RUDE. YOU ARE BEING VERY CONDESCENDING TO ME, AND AS YOUR TEACHER, YOU MUST RESPECT ME!”

(I got three detentions for that, but it was totally worth it!)

Firstscion
Apr 11, 2008

Still Terrible


Minarchist posted:

You can just ask for them at the bank.

No one does because $2 bills are pointless. Sorry, Thomas

Alexander Hamilton's final revenge.

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

He is I, and I am him



Khazar-khum posted:

Either that, or it's pathetic.

Maybe if it was a very inexperienced doctor, but I've gotten the sense that med students have seen it all by the time they're done with their rotations.

Mr. Belpit
Nov 11, 2008


bringmyfishback posted:

...the headmaster of my school... [in a story set in the US]

For anyone who didn't follow the last thread, the Not Always X series of bullshit publishers make very heavy edits to their submissions to make them more cookie-cutter same-y. The editors (tbh probably just one guy) are apparently from the UK, so stories submitted from the US by Americans will occasionally have incongruous Britishisms. The example from this story isn't the most egregious, but still.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Tunicate posted:

I like getting them from the bank because it makes people happy to see them in a tip.

Same thing for those golden dollar coins.


During WWII the airforce would recruit colorblind people to be bomber pilots.

Turned out aerial camouflage of the day was a hell of a lot easier for colorblind people to spot, for whatever reason.

The Air Force was one of the three branches to turn me down.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


Mr. Belpit posted:

For anyone who didn't follow the last thread, the Not Always X series of bullshit publishers make very heavy edits to their submissions to make them more cookie-cutter same-y. The editors (tbh probably just one guy) are apparently from the UK, so stories submitted from the US by Americans will occasionally have incongruous Britishisms. The example from this story isn't the most egregious, but still.

You are 100% right, BUT I went to private school in the US and we did actually have a headmaster! His name was Baxter Ball and he was very fat. We loved him.

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW



Dinosaur Gum

bringmyfishback posted:

You are 100% right, BUT I went to private school in the US and we did actually have a headmaster! His name was Baxter Ball and he was very fat. We loved him.

Are you sure you're not from the UK because that sounds Britishy as gently caress

ThePlague-Daemon
Apr 16, 2008

~Neck Angels~


Minarchist posted:

You can just ask for them at the bank.

No one does because $2 bills are pointless. Sorry, Thomas

Don't worry, he thought paper money was bullshit anyway. I don't think those were federally printed at the time, but he thought national banks were bullshit, too.

ThePlague-Daemon has a new favorite as of 06:05 on Apr 17, 2016

Minarchist
Mar 5, 2009

by WE B Bourgeois


ThePlague-Daemon posted:

Don't worry, he thought paper money was bullshit anyway. I don't think those were federally printed at the time, but he thought national banks were bullshit, too.

*adjusts onion belt*

jodai
Mar 1, 2010

Banging with all due hardness.


Mr. Belpit posted:

For anyone who didn't follow the last thread, the Not Always X series of bullshit publishers make very heavy edits to their submissions to make them more cookie-cutter same-y. The editors (tbh probably just one guy) are apparently from the UK, so stories submitted from the US by Americans will occasionally have incongruous Britishisms. The example from this story isn't the most egregious, but still.

That's good to know. I thought there were just a lot of weeaboos but for British culture that submitted stuff.

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW



Dinosaur Gum

jodai posted:

That's good to know. I thought there were just a lot of weeaboos but for British culture that submitted stuff.

I like to call them "teeaboos".

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Are you sure you're not from the UK because that sounds Britishy as gently caress

Well, we were very fancy. No jeans allowed, etc.

Incidentally, I am a British person based entirely on passport ownership alone!


CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

I like to call them "teeaboos".

OKAY MARRY ME NOW WE ARE MARRIED

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

Ask me about my dream Frasier episode where Frasier and Bulldog oil their heads and then rub them together. It's definitely not a fetish of mine, I swear!

I paid for a shredded chicken burrito at Taco Bell a few months ago with a $2 bill and had no problems. It was something between $1.50 and $2, and I had one on me, so why not. People aren't that stupid.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

Ask me about my dream Frasier episode where Frasier and Bulldog oil their heads and then rub them together. It's definitely not a fetish of mine, I swear!

jodai posted:

That's good to know. I thought there were just a lot of weeaboos but for British culture that submitted stuff.

They exist, and they are disgusting.

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW



Dinosaur Gum

Type "I wish I were British" into your search engine of choice and prepare to kill yourself because of the cringe.

Boywhiz88
Sep 11, 2005

floating 26" off da ground. BURR!

poo poo that did happen: one of the restaurants near my house has a counterfeit $2 that they received. So people actually do go to that effort!

M_Sinistrari
Sep 5, 2008

Do you like scary movies?





LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Kind of both. Two dollar bills are sort of a novelty currency, they're legal tender but you need to go out of your way to get them.

To my understanding, they were an attempt to introduce a new denomination that failed for either looking too much like another denomination or just never really caught on. It's been decades since I last seen one. However, depending on location, I've still seen the old silver certificate paper bills. They're still valid currency, but look just different enough to throw people off. I used to see a lot of those when I worked at a Blockbuster Video that had a sizeable senior citizen demographic. I figured so many of them freaked out from the bank failure with the Depression they just kept everything at home.

Mr. Belpit
Nov 11, 2008


jodai posted:

That's good to know. I thought there were just a lot of weeaboos but for British culture that submitted stuff.

Those pop up from time to time. Usually Dr. Who obsessives, of course.

RenegadeStyle1
Jun 7, 2005

Baby Come Back

Yeah $2 bills are pretty uncommon but i'm sure most people know of them. Then again I haven't really seen or heard about them in probably 10-15 years.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

I'm the babyliberal, gotta love me!


CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

I like to call them "teeaboos".

Mr. Belpit posted:

Those pop up from time to time. Usually Dr. Who obsessives, of course.

Teeawhos.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



I've always liked the term tweeaboo.

Parasol Prophet
Aug 31, 2012

We Are Best Friends Now.


I hadn't seen a $2 bill in years until I started working at a bank, which is like a very slow-working obscure currency goldmine. We'd keep the 2s, the gold and silver dollar coins, and half dollar coins separate because there's always some guy who wants to exchange regular cash for as many 50-cent pieces as he can get for his granddaughter's graduation present.

Then one day one of the mythical grandchildren actually came in with a box of half-dollars totaling $200, separated out into plastic tubes of $10 each, to get cash back. She seemed pretty ambivalent about them.

We would get mildly excited about some stuff, though, like silver dimes. Those were neat.

Okay that's my story I'll stop now.

LOVE LOVE SKELETON
Nov 11, 2007



Lipstick Apathy

The F Plus did an episode about everyone's favorite
https://thefpl.us/episode/210

Karma Comedian
Feb 2, 2012

Dr. E/N, PhD



LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

I've always liked the term tweeaboo.

Tweetaboo

The Sexual Shiite
Apr 11, 2007


My brother was really into D&D when he graduated high school, and was trying to get money together to build a computer for college, so I put three rolls of gold dollar coins into a crown royal bag and gave him a bag of gold for graduation, rather than just giving him a check.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012



College Slice

The US $2 bill was around from the beginning of Federally minted money (so the 1860s) until the mid-1960s. Then it was reintroduced with much fanfare in 1976, but it never caught on as more than a novelty item. Steve Wozniak is a big aficionado of the $2 bill, as was a dude I knew when I was in college and he was in grad school who was super pretentious and wore a pocket watch.

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Pieces of Peace
Jul 8, 2006
Hazardous in small doses.

Meanwhile a $3 bill is basically the proverbial scam of the early 20th century so... maybe STDH people should stop being such dicks about managers getting them confused.

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