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LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in





none of this happened.

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dirksteadfast
Oct 10, 2010


Why does all dialogue in these stories sound like they were written by Capcom?

John Murdoch
May 19, 2009

I have special eyes.

Just think of all the cool stuff I can see.


"I was walking my dog through Boston because he likes car rides."

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011



John Murdoch posted:

"I was walking my dog through Boston because he likes car rides."



Maybe it was a punishment

hyperhazard
Dec 4, 2011

I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:



none of this happened.

I'm so woke that I'm not even scared of black people rough looking boys.

ghost emoji
Mar 11, 2016

oooOooOOOooh


the more breathless run-on sentences a Tumblr screenshot has, the more bullshit it is. Why do they all talk like that

The Shame Boy
Jan 27, 2014

Dead weight, just like this post.


Sombody post the one where the big scary black man on the subway actually likes pokemon and trades the OP for a Eevee or something

ghost emoji
Mar 11, 2016

oooOooOOOooh


https://twitter.com/studiesincrap/s...3109729288?s=21

Kevin DuBrow
Apr 21, 2012



To be fair, Overheard in New York/Los Angeles/Pittsburgh has been a font of stdh for decades.

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW



Dinosaur Gum

Dogwhistling isn't just for conservatives any more!

Stack Machine
Mar 6, 2016

I can see through time!


Fun Shoe

A Facebook friend shared this thing that has some serious Troper Tales energy. OCR'd but it was originally an artifacts JPG:

drakewalkerhateblog posted:

Here it is: how I got Horrible Histories banned from my school. Sit down, I'm going to tell you a story. Imagine a little girl, a 4'9" fifth grader with dimples and twinkling blue eyes. Oh, look, she's going to the school library. Perhaps she's going to rent Little Women, or read On the Banks of Plum Creek by Laura Ingalls Wilder! Five minutes later, she exits the library holding a large stack of books called "Horrible Histories."
And she's thumbing through one called "Angry Aztecs."
Record scratch. Freeze frame.
Yup, that's me! The only history geek in a fifty mile radius. Living in Bumhicksville, Nowhere (name changed, but very accurate) is pretty terrible, and going to school at Caucasian Christian School of Goodness (again, a name change, but an apt description) is even worse. I snapped a bit while I was attending, due to the lack of permissible self-expression, but horrible histories were my guiding light.
Flash forward six months.
Our teacher wants us to do a history project about an ancient civilization. Since our curriculum is Eurocentricism.JPEG, most kids pick the Greeks or Romans (and completely skip over all of the good stuff, like orgies and gladiator fights) in their presentations.
I choose my favorite ancient civilization:
The Aztecs.
My teachers knew I'd been reading Horrible Histories, but what they didn't know was that I'd also been avidly reading all about Aztec mythology. I walk up to the front of the class, pull on a turquoise skull mask, and raise my arms to the sky.
My teacher goes sheet white. I give my presentation and skip nothing. Nothing. Every detail of the sacrifices, every dirty, disgusting part.
It all culminates when I point to the calendar. "It's May!" I shout, my little girl voice rising an octave. My teacher looks like she's about to phone the police. "The Aztecs called May Toxcatl."
No one moves or breathed. I continue blithely. "Toxcatl was a month dedicated to the worship of the god of the night, Tezcatlipoca." I'm still going. Everyone is afraid. Marie, one of my classmates, looks Eke she's about to cry. "They'd dress a brave warrior as the god all year, and at the end, I pull the red streamers out from behind my display, shouting: "They'd sacrifice him!"
The kids shriek as the streamers of "blood" roll out across the floor.
The principal walked in, hearing the commotion, just in time for me to really get into character and shout "BLOOD FOR THE GOD OF THE NIGHT!"
And that's how Horrible Histories and all mentions of the Aztecs were banned from my school.
aelorha As an ancient civilizations grad who specialized in the cultures of Central and South America THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING EVER.

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I stab at thee

Stack Machine posted:

Sit down, I'm going to tell you a story.
No gently caress you

Telemaze
Apr 22, 2008

What you expected hasn't happened.

Fun Shoe

Stack Machine posted:

Angry Aztecs

Everything else about this dumb poo poo aside, I think it's odd to do a report on the Aztec Empire as an ancient civilization. The Empire started in the ~14th century AD. It certainly wasn't contemporary with Ancient Greece. I mean obviously people were living there and doing stuff long before then, and there were other Mesoamerican civilizations, but they aren't generally referred to as Aztec.

This person should've made their stdh about the Olmecs or something, smh.

Splicer posted:

No gently caress you

This is the better response, honestly.

jjack229
Feb 14, 2008
Articulate your needs. I'm here to listen.

Oven Wrangler

Stack Machine posted:

A Facebook friend shared this thing that has some serious Troper Tales energy. OCR'd but it was originally an artifacts JPG:

Now I know that reading "Record scratch. Freeze frame" in a story is even worse than hearing/seeing it in a video.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

BENIS


What's it alluding to anyway?

hyperhazard
Dec 4, 2011

I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

I like how she skips over the sophisticated legal system and rich culture and does an entire presentation on how they were bloodthirsty killers, and in the same breath criticizes her school for being bigoted and Eurocentric.

Pipistrelle
Jun 18, 2011

Seems the high horse is taking them all home



Stack Machine posted:

A Facebook friend shared this thing that has some serious Troper Tales energy. OCR'd but it was originally an artifacts JPG:

Pfff I canít believe a bunch of 10 year olds skipped over the cool parts of Ancient Rome like orgies. loving prudes

CellBlock
Oct 6, 2005

It just don't stop.


Kevin DuBrow posted:

To be fair, Overheard in New York/Los Angeles/Pittsburgh has been a font of stdh for decades.

Maybe nobody actually overheard someone read "biotech" as "beeyotch", but I think I'm going to start calling it that now.

GreenMetalSun
Oct 11, 2012


hyperhazard posted:

I like how she skips over the sophisticated legal system and rich culture and does an entire presentation on how they were bloodthirsty killers, and in the same breath criticizes her school for being bigoted and Eurocentric.

She was also wearing an ~authentic tribal ritual mask~ which is totally okay, despite her being white, because she isn't bigoted or Eurocentric.

ghost emoji
Mar 11, 2016

oooOooOOOooh


Stack Machine posted:

A Facebook friend shared this thing that has some serious Troper Tales energy. OCR'd but it was originally an artifacts JPG:

So many words to say so little! This feels like a Joss Whedon banter generator. More words doesnít always equal better writing.

Shwoo
Jul 21, 2011


"Bumhicksville, Nowhere" must really be a boring place, if a preteen reading books aimed at preteens is worthy of a record scratch and freeze frame.

Sisal Two-Step
May 29, 2006

mom without jaw
dad without wife


Fun Shoe



my fellow student, spider-man,

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

BENIS


OK how the gently caress has anyone ever been marked as being late if they were in the room before the teacher?!??!?!?!?

e: Must be quantum.

InsertPotPun
Apr 16, 2018


dirksteadfast posted:

Why does all dialogue in these stories sound like they were written by Capcom?
because the writers are trying to express very advanced emotions, through writing, with no skill.
it's like asking an ape to describe a sunset, yeah the sunset was beautiful, but the description will mostly be feces and biting.

RoboRodent
Sep 19, 2012

Please get me out of this snake.




I have had some university classes where attendance was a thing, for participation marks. Generally small literature classes with seminar set ups. I have never had a university class where the profs cared if you were a few minutes late once in a while. You say "sorry" and find a seat and everyone carries on.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

BENIS


InsertPotPun posted:

because the writers are trying to express very advanced emotions, through writing, and the only things they've ever read are things written by Capcom.

Rowling counts as a Capcom.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

BENIS


RoboRodent posted:

I have had some university classes where attendance was a thing, for participation marks. Generally small literature classes with seminar set ups. I have never had a university class where the profs cared if you were a few minutes late once in a while. You say "sorry" and find a seat and everyone carries on.

Just remembered when some people in suits came in and started milling around up front during a phonetics lecture and the lecturer asked them what the hell they were doing there and they said "the minister of education is coming here in ten minutes" and he told them to get out and tell the minister to come back in a Ĺ hour because he'd booked the lecture hall for a full two hours.

Len
Jan 21, 2008

Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!



3D Megadoodoo posted:

OK how the gently caress has anyone ever been marked as being late if they were in the room before the teacher?!??!?!?!?

e: Must be quantum.

Maybe a TA? I dunno, after the first year of college nobody gives a gently caress if you're there or not

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

BENIS


Len posted:

Maybe a TA? I dunno, after the first year of college nobody gives a gently caress if you're there or not

No I mean how does a teacher take attendance before they're present themselves.

e: Oh TA means teacher's assistant? Do those actually exist?

Len
Jan 21, 2008

Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!



3D Megadoodoo posted:

No I mean how does a teacher take attendance before they're present themselves.

e: Oh TA means teacher's assistant? Do those actually exist?

I had a couple classes with them, but out of my entirely too many years in college it was the minority of my classes.

Edit: not that I'm saying this stdh is a thing that happened. Just that some of the grad students who have ta roles will narc if you're late. Most of them didn't give a gently caress from my experience

Len has a new favorite as of 15:22 on May 6, 2020

hyperhazard
Dec 4, 2011

I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

Sisal Two-Step posted:



my fellow student, spider-man,

I'm the kid who can boulder a new 100ft route in less time than it takes an elevator to go up 4 floors.

Ruflux
Jun 16, 2012


The idea that somebody at university cares about your attendance, let alone if you're late or not is hilarious. I know that's universally true in some places, but loving hell if you have to punish adults for making the decision on whether they want or need to be in class or not then you've definitely gone wrong somewhere. I've had some courses where attendance is tracked, but I just simply don't get it. In the majority it was for the sake of bonus points for perfect or good attendance, but there have been a few examples of mandatory attendance, which is just stupid if you ask me. I'm not learning any better bored out of my mind in class, not paying attention.

Even saying sorry for being late feels dumb since that way you definitely disrupt the class, whereas if you just come in and sit your rear end down the lecturer can just keep going. If it's a really small class I might give a nod if I'm late since the lecturer will probably be looking right at me when I arrive, but that's about it.

bike tory
May 6, 2007



It depends a lot on the course and how it's taught and assessed. If they're just teaching lecture-style and assessing with essays and exams then yeah attendance should be optional. But any course that's run at least partly through workshops/labs/seminars etc should definitely have attendance recorded

capitaldelendaest
Jan 2, 2020


Ruflux posted:

The idea that somebody at university cares about your attendance, let alone if you're late or not is hilarious. I know that's universally true in some places, but loving hell if you have to punish adults for making the decision on whether they want or need to be in class or not then you've definitely gone wrong somewhere. I've had some courses where attendance is tracked, but I just simply don't get it. In the majority it was for the sake of bonus points for perfect or good attendance, but there have been a few examples of mandatory attendance, which is just stupid if you ask me. I'm not learning any better bored out of my mind in class, not paying attention.

Even saying sorry for being late feels dumb since that way you definitely disrupt the class, whereas if you just come in and sit your rear end down the lecturer can just keep going. If it's a really small class I might give a nod if I'm late since the lecturer will probably be looking right at me when I arrive, but that's about it.

The college I went to had an extremely strict attendance policy to the point where they autofailed you after a certain amount of absences, marked your grade down after a small amount, and insisted it was so vital to that no disability related exemptions were possible.

Edit: To be fair, in a studio class or lab this isn't necessarily unreasonable, but this applied universally across all class types.

Elysiume
Aug 13, 2009

Alone, she fights.


It was entirely up to the professor at my college. The professors most likely to enforce attendance were some of the worst professors I had; if the lectures were valuable they didn't need to strong-arm the students into attending.

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011

I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving
And something has got to give


Ultra Carp

capitaldelendaest posted:

The college I went to had an extremely strict attendance policy to the point where they autofailed you after a certain amount of absences, marked your grade down after a small amount, and insisted it was so vital to that no disability related exemptions were possible.

Edit: To be fair, in a studio class or lab this isn't necessarily unreasonable, but this applied universally across all class types.

My understanding is that this is often an issue of funding requirements for colleges based on attendance levels and accountability, as well as financial aid often having attendance quotas.

Ruflux
Jun 16, 2012


bike tory posted:

It depends a lot on the course and how it's taught and assessed. If they're just teaching lecture-style and assessing with essays and exams then yeah attendance should be optional. But any course that's run at least partly through workshops/labs/seminars etc should definitely have attendance recorded

I don't see any problem in tracking attendance for workshops or labs or similar, because that's a bit different from just a standard lecture. Lectures can be just as easily understood or the contents studied at home, but you can't really replace actual work in a controlled environment. I'm still very happy that on a lot of the courses I've been on, those are also optional and only serve as something you do if you want a good grade or extra points for the exam or whatever because to me that's a better incentive. I don't need to care about grades beyond passing so I can just skip 'em because I'm lazy, while the really motivated learners will benefit from a less overfilled class.

Sisal Two-Step
May 29, 2006

mom without jaw
dad without wife


Fun Shoe

hyperhazard posted:

I'm the kid who can boulder a new 100ft route in less time than it takes an elevator to go up 4 floors.

oh you mean my wife

TheMostFrench
Jul 12, 2009

Stop for me, it's the claw!



RoboRodent posted:

I have had some university classes where attendance was a thing, for participation marks. Generally small literature classes with seminar set ups. I have never had a university class where the profs cared if you were a few minutes late once in a while. You say "sorry" and find a seat and everyone carries on.

My experience was more 'if you're late just come in as quietly as possible and say nothing so as not to disturb anyone'. The people who made a big deal about apologising were the ones that lecturers hated the most.

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Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

Antivehicular posted:

My understanding is that this is often an issue of funding requirements for colleges based on attendance levels and accountability, as well as financial aid often having attendance quotas.

This is correct.

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