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LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in




The old thread's ancient, time for a reboot!

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LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Absurd Alhazred posted:

Could we have a "no troper tales" rule this time around? I basically skip over them because the writing is so turgid.

hell no.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Bonapartisan posted:

Reminds me of the guy who tried the glasses for the color blind and I think he cried over the color purple.

Found it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBbCsNS8nco But there are a lot of videos of people wearing these for the first time. Its adorable.

omg. this is just wonderful.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in




"needless to say"

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

So are $2 notes really uncommon (because ????????) in the US or is the manager just really dim

Kind of both. Two dollar bills are sort of a novelty currency, they're legal tender but you need to go out of your way to get them.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



I've always liked the term tweeaboo.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Verisimilidude posted:

Filled with what appears to be not champagne, which is fine, but it also makes this look like a bunch of kids having a fancy dinner. Which is cute I suppose. But then you realize it's a plea for help on imgurr of all places.

The horrid flat condensation-covered "champagne" was the first thing I focused on, possibly in an attempt to keep from processing the rest of the picture.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in




Go back and re-read cash crab's post, please.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Here is some poo poo that didn't happen:



quote:

me: (out shopping, looking all fly with my Marvel comics tote bag featuring several characters)
dude: nice bag.
me: thanks. (keeps on shopping)
dude: do you even know who all those characters are?
me: uh... yeah?
dude: ok then, who's that guy? (points at a character on the bag)
me:
me: wait, are you asking me to prove that I'm enough of a fan enough to carry this bag?
dude: (smirks) that's what I thought. He's called the Silver Surfer. I bet you don't even know his real name.
me: does it matter? (starts to edge away before I start punching throats)
dude: psh, you're not a real fan.
me:
me: (slowly unsheathing my Wolverine claws)
me: how many pairs of chromosomes do humans contain in their cells?
dude: uh... what?
me: explain the function of cellular mitosis?
dude:
me: what is the purpose of myelin sheath with regards to the formation of new neural pathways?
dude: what are you even talking about?
me: oh, well it seemed that you were implying that if I don't know as much about the Marvel universe as you do, then I can't possibly be considered a real fan. This is me implying that because you don't know as much about the human body as I do, you can't possibly be considered a real human being.
dude:
dude:
dude:
dude: Um, I... wow. You're right. Have a nice day. (starts to shuffle away)
me: his name is Norrin Radd.
dude: (looks extremely embarrassed)

quote:


quote:

thanks for this weird made up story about your totally off the wall unique tastes in music 14 year old girl. i remember once i tried to buy a phil collins CD (i was 18 and had long hair) and the cashier literally leapt over the counter screaming and poo poo in my mouth



And then there's this one, which probably did happen but I am including because of [Date]. Like, seriously?

quote:

On The Same Level Of Engagement
home | Bay Area, CA, USA | Engaged, Popular

(For my bridal shower, my maid of honor has come over to interview my soon to be husband and tape his answers to be shown in front of everyone as part of a quiz game. I am not allowed to watch, so I have no idea what questions she asked or what his answers were. After the maid of honor leaves he gives me a worried look.)

Me: “How was it?”

Husband-To-Be: “Just promise me you won’t be too mad…”

Me: “Uh… I’m nervous now… What did you say?”

Husband-To-Be: “I can’t tell you, but just promise you won’t be mad.”

(Later after the quiz game at the bridal shower, where I am asked the same series of questions in front of everyone and have to see if my answers match up with his. It was very cute and funny. I meet up with him and his sister.)

Me: “You did a very good job, babe! Your answers were very sweet. You had me so nervous; why did you think I’d get mad?”

Husband-To-Be: “I got the date we got engaged wrong…”

Me: “Oh! I did, too! I wasn’t even close to the right date.”

Husband-To-Be: “Awesome! High five!”

Sister-In-Law-To-Be: “You guys are hopeless. It’s written on a sign that is literally on your front door! The sign reads ‘[My Name] + [His Name] engaged! [Date].'”

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2LTL8KgKv8

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



I'm trying to come up with something witty or at least mildly entertaining but the best I can do is 'uugghhh.'

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



quote:

“At-risk youth … ?” I start quietly. “You mean … black people?”

She flinches a bit.

this bit really bothers me, if she's so into helping inner city/at-risk youth or whatever why is she scared of the words BLACK PEOPLE

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



I don't usually quote goons for content but somebody else crossposted this in the IoSM thread and I felt it deserved a happy home here

Taste the Rainbugh posted:

While on vacation I convinced a married couple I was rich and would pay them $10k to bang the wife.

quote:

Did you bang the wife?

Taste the Rainbugh posted:

I did although it kinda ruined the trip as it was the first night in the same hotel as them and it became harder to come up with excuses on where his money was. I ended up leaving a day early because he was finally catching on that at that point I had maybe $200 with me.

The one thing that was odd was how much more mad he was about it then his wife. Not saying the sex was that good but she had a whatever attitude while I started to feel bad for him because 4-5 years down the road if they were still together it would be eating at him still.

Edit to add
They were married about a year at that point and took maybe an hour tops from meeting them at the hotel bar. The deal was she spend the night and I would have $10k for them in a day or two. She ended up staying till the next afternoon and it took a lot to convince her to leave. I had to play up the rich thing and it cost me like $125 in room service poo poo and was not worth it. I told her my family was co creators of Gatorade

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Yeah let's not open that can of worms please.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



That twitter exchange is super funny and good so thanks for posting it, regardless

e: although personally I might have classified it as iosm instead of stdh

LITERALLY A BIRD has a new favorite as of 22:46 on Jun 1, 2016

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



what are jokes

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Thin Privilege posted:

I know I'm just feeding a troll

Then don't.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Thin Privilege posted:

They apparently have videos now? They're also terrible and obviously legitimaze the text.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ3rK4RRTxo

hahaha what the gently caress is this?

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



wb FAROOQ

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Captain Monkey posted:

I'd actually like to read your thoughts on drag and cis/trans women, I have very little experience with drag outside of the media and it sounds interesting. I have pms, but I'm sure the thread could also support a little derail.

One of the things I enjoy about PYF is the educational derails that form from some posts, I'd like to hear more too.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Weatherman I'll pay you three internet dollars to follow oldpainless around for a day and post 'oldpainless more like old____less' every time he says something

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Leavemywife posted:

More like oldcashless.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Nyarai posted:

In celebration, have this lengthy NAR post! Truly a feast for the eyes of terrible customer service.

The one word policy just makes them sound like cavemen.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Xen Tricks posted:

The fact that he's saying he had an "acute" illness for four years is making me irrationally annoyed

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in




some guy posted:

I feel like I joined the conversation in the middle.

LOL at this for describing it perfectly

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



ibntumart posted:

"Unless I'm the one doing it on Troper Tales, that is! Also, punching teenaged girls for comments similar to ones I myself make is my Crowning Moment of Pencil Breaking or something!"

Let's just say she... gets around

Snobby girl should have punched him right back.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



quote:

This was not what we had dreamed of; this was not what we had come for; and this certainly was not what I had been willing to spend the equivalent of a week's worth of grocery money on.

This is sticking out to me because she made a huge goddamn deal about how much money this trip was costing them. Buying the groceries to make a week's worth of dinners for two, plus some boxes of granola bars or whatever for snacks, costs me like 60 dollars tops

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Jayme posted:

It seems from their website that they try to make at least some of their meals at home, but I'm pretty sure they'd go for the higher-priced organic and free-trade ingredients. They also have pictures up of snacks they've bought, which come in those old-timey tins that you pay out the rear end for.

welp.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



This post on my feed gave me a bit of a smile. good on ya

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



The movie My Sister's Keeper is based on Jodi Picoult's entirely fictional novel of the same name.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in





meta.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Weatherman posted:

kangarookie more like oldpainless, amirite?



oldpainless I am EXTREMELY disappointed in you right now. Go back to your old name immediately.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



I hate these fake wacky letters so much.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in




I tend not to eat poultry and once I asked my bf to order me a penne dish with sausage instead of chicken, got up and went to the restroom. When I got back and the food came out our server was SUPER excited because apparently he had a chicken allergy and was really happy to meet somebody that he thought had a chicken allergy too.

Sorry dude, in hindsight maybe I should've lied and made you feel better.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Khazar-khum posted:

quote:

Also, he can consciously use this to a 'zoom-effect', magnifying details for inspection in his mind. Talk about zoom-eyes...

Oh gently caress off.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



ugghhhh

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



uugghhh

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



The phrasing makes it sound like the shouting woman was actually a Big Black Man when Our Hero turned to look.

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LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Khazar-khum posted:

I think I may actually be both sane and insane, although that may be the sane part of me rationalizing that nobody can be totally sane or the insane part being insane.

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