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Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

For posterity's sake, here's the OG Albert Einstein STDH:

quote:

Does evil exist?

The university professor challenged his students with this question. Did God create everything that exists? A student bravely replied, “Yes, he did!”

“God created everything? The professor asked.

“Yes sir”, the student replied.

The professor answered, “If God created everything, then God created evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are then God is evil”. The student became quiet before such an answer. The professor was quite pleased with himself and boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, “Can I ask you a question professor?”

“Of course”, replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, “Professor, does cold exist?”

“What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?” The students snickered at the young man’s question.

The young man replied, “In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460 degrees F) is the total absence of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat.”

The student continued, “Professor, does darkness exist?”

The professor responded, “Of course it does.”

The student replied, “Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton’s prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn’t this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present.”

Finally the young man asked the professor, “Sir, does evil exist?”

Now uncertain, the professor responded, “Of course as I have already said. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man’s inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.”

To this the student replied, “Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is not like faith, or love that exist just as does light and heat. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God’s love present in his heart. It’s like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.”

The professor sat down.

The young man’s name -- Albert Einstein.

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Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

walrusman posted:

I've always wondered...


...did we ever figure out what this part means? Does it matter?

I think it's:
At least three bullies were picking on this troper in full view of the teacher. They did so by sarcastically asking this troper whether or not they could punch him but punched him regardless of the answer

And no, it doesn't matter

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

It's great that all lesbians can switch their lesbianism on and off whenever it's convenient for a guy

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Could've been solved with a "Okay not literally a four-minute mile, but I did run pretty fast for a chubster!"

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Well it's been often said that being frightened turns your hair white, no idea if that actually happens

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

I'm a writer, I write Facebook posts

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Khazar-khum posted:

Ants



Congo



Penny



Sudo



Overcook

I do not understand any of these

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Maybe, but also he's never actually said that to anyone.

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

It's like three STDHs combined into one ultra STDH

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

That's what free health care gets you, nurses who can't tell when a patient is drunk

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

I didn't read all of it, do they explain why she's at the store past midnight?

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

And then his uncle said: "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Hahaha, armed robbers aren't "customers" dummy

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

You know what? You right.

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Isn't there a Batman villain who does stuff like this

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

I'm just so interesting, it can't be helped

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

I've never taken strolls through the wilds with any of my college classes, although to be fair I studied literature

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

The cop is hallucinating, should probably take a paid vacation

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

It has to end in applause

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

gschmidl posted:

2) Why does day 5 start like day 1 but suddenly it's bad instead of good?

What once was novel becomes an irritant, although usually it takes longer than a few days to become jaded like that

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

"Do you understand what your shirt is from?" I asked very normally.

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

What’s about the classic “Let’s call him Pete because that’s his name :roflolmao:

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Flossing causes autism

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

I imagine the rest of the flight must’ve been pretty awkward

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

A stark reminder that police will just randomly search you without legitimate cause if you're black

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Yes it does work sometimes, if the people are right for it. Why wouldn’t it?

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Boring enough to be true

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Serious question, what does “bless your food” mean and which crazy Protestant denomination does this

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Oh sure. I guess I’ve never heard it referred to as blessing the food

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Months of planning, outdone by a moralizing toddler :(

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

quote:

No Salvation For Them
BAD BEHAVIOR, GROCERY STORE, USA, WISCONSIN | RIGHT | APRIL 20, 2018
(I usually work as a cashier, but sometimes when it’s slow they send me out to get carts. Today is the first day we have the Salvation Army bell ringing out in front. I’m just working on carts, and this customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “Somebody should go choke that kid ringing the bell. We don’t need to hear that s*** every time we come to the g**d*** grocery store!”

Me: “Sir, this is the first day we have had the bell out.”

Customer: *speechless*

:owned:

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Araenna posted:



I know incels are like shooting fish in a barrel, but even for them that is some poo poo that certainly didn't happen.

Uhh what the gently caress is this

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

I kept thinking, “Blue Bubble is definitely going to say that he makes more money” and was happy to see it :peanut:

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

I can see a Scot getting irritated at being called English, but Irish?

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Those people are in the right :colbert:

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Dude's a fraud anyway

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

What does “when you know you know” mean?

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011


pretended

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Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

What would happen if you fed it 1,000 Not Always Right stories?

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