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From a wrestling forum I frequent. quote:Sort of on the same lines, but yesterday my (very) new girlfriend phoned me when I was in the pub. My ringtone is the Nakamura theme. I mean Nakamura has a catchy as hell theme but the idea of at least random fifteen people humming along is right up there with the entire room applauding.
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Apr 20, 2017 08:40
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I wish there were more comments with people congratulating him. They're my favourite part of stdh.
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Nov 2, 2017 13:32
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genetic_knockout posted:Found this on my pregnancy forum--I totally don't doubt the first part probably happened, but then it just veers right into stdh territory I tried to get through this but stopped at Toxic family etc. I just can't do it anymore, it's painful.
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Mar 8, 2018 01:28
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 And everybody applauded
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Mar 9, 2018 09:15
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Here's the status in full, with many congratulations and fawning https://twitter.com/JenElleCairns/status/971739995726893058
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Mar 9, 2018 13:46
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SkunkDuster posted:What was that thread about a hotel employee (not the big guy) who had a bunch of STDH stories and then M R CRACKER came in and started posting his brand of crazy STDH causing the OP to have a meltdown because it was his thread and M R CRACKER was stealing all his glory? Joey Vapes and the resident who had fashioned a dildo out of a deodorant can, plastic bags and condoms, and then attached it to a spring in his mattress?
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Jun 21, 2018 23:21
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https://twitter.com/thunt59/status/1029530308713033728?s=19 I'm the person who keeps the same phone for five years
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Aug 28, 2018 09:23
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Must just be me then. I lose, damage or otherwise upgrade my phone every 18 months or so.
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Aug 28, 2018 11:40
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Oct 29, 2018 21:57
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That guy has the worst face I've ever seen.
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Nov 24, 2018 23:38
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Judging by the description of the writer, this was in a HMV. Wait, it didn't happen, so...?
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Dec 3, 2018 10:40
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Here's another parody of that which gets me every time quote:A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist
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Dec 10, 2018 12:46
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I'm the "your neighbours" instead of "us".
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Dec 20, 2018 14:27
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I asked a "staff member" at a clothes store if I was OK to use the changing room and he said no. I got annoyed and asked why I couldn't and he mumbled something that he didn't work there so I apologised. I dont why he said I couldn't use the room though 
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Jan 3, 2019 01:37
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I'm the gay man's dialogue written by a straight person who has never met a homosexual in real life.
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Jan 4, 2019 01:19
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I buy cigarettes and whisky for my local crows.
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Jan 5, 2019 12:56
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Arrgh those responses from other "authors" are causing me actual pain.
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Jan 11, 2019 13:26
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I'm law 567309-8.
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Jan 24, 2019 02:23
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Here comes the double down https://twitter.com/vonny_bravo/status/1096052253037871104?s=19 https://twitter.com/vonny_bravo/status/1096053119404904449?s=19 https://twitter.com/vonny_bravo/status/1096054369072660480?s=19 Kosmo Gallion has a new favorite as of 16:22 on Feb 14, 2019 |
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Feb 14, 2019 16:16
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Oh God she gets worse https://twitter.com/vonny_bravo/status/1096056323186274306?s=19
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Feb 14, 2019 16:20
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Came across some IRL STDH today on a training course. A trainee midwife played the La-A card. I was expecting somebody else to play the Chlamydia card but alas no.
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Feb 22, 2019 13:35
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May 24, 2019 19:33
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I too, am not super picky when I go clubbing
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May 24, 2019 23:58
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Read the bartenders lines with a positive slant and she's being perfectly fine. -She offers him the cheap rum he asked for. -She accidentally pours him the expensive one and offers to replace it. -She even offers to knock off 50 cents for another cheap rum. As for the quip about his clothes, I guarantee this guy was wearing cargo shorts and a Deadpool t-shirt. (if this happened, which clearly it did not)
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May 25, 2019 21:32
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But that bar is frequented by preppy smug college kids who look down on people who aren't perfect so why wouldn't the bar staff be the same?
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May 26, 2019 00:02
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Fire the supervisor
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May 27, 2019 15:24
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https://twitter.com/JustJeremyHeyYo/status/1139782173442138112?s=19
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Jun 15, 2019 13:25
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Even my nan who doesn't own a smartphone or computer knows its not called "the google".
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Jul 11, 2019 13:21
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Aug 16, 2019 15:11
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Not enough..... Between..... Sentences
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Aug 22, 2019 15:43
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I can recount events from my dreams but can't accurately describe their mood so there's no point in explaining a load of random bs.
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Sep 10, 2019 18:32
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(I have just ticked over the twelve-month mark as a store manager for a nationwide video game retailer. My predecessor was quite spineless and let customers walk all over our staff, including encouraging them to break policy for refunds and the like. To help rebuild staff morale, I have given every full-time staff member one “f*** off” a year. If a customer is being difficult or belligerent, the staff member can tell the customer to f*** off and ban them from the store. I will back my team all the way to corporate if they use this, because I know they have the store’s best interest at heart. I am the first one to use this, in the last month. A man approaches my register with a new release game, marked at full price.) Customer: “I want to do a deal with you guys. [Competitor #1] across the mall have this game for $79.” *$20 cheaper than us* “But, if you promise to sell it to me for $59, I’ll buy another two game from you that are worth $50. What do you say?” Me: “I’m sorry, if you can find the game cheaper elsewhere then I recommend you go for it as I can’t reduce the price beyond a price match.” Customer: “Okay, then. Okay, then. I know that [Competitor #2] is selling this game at $59. Will you beat that?” Me: “No, because according to their website they’re selling the game at $85.” Customer: “Oh, it’s one of those special ‘in-store only’ sales! It’s not online!” Me: “Odd. When were you there?” Customer: “About ten minutes ago.” Me: “Hmm, well, I was there around half an hour ago on my break. I didn’t see that sticker. Either they did it in the last 20 minutes, or you misread the sign.” Customer: “Listen. I am a very rich man and I shop here all the time. The owner of this store would be pissed if he knew what you were doing to me. I. Want. This. Game. For. $59. Got. It.?” Me: “I will sell the game to you at $85 for a price match. No less.” Customer: “I’m going to call your boss and see what he says.” *pulls out his phone* Me: *picks up store phone before he has finished dialing* “You’re talking to the boss. F*** off.” Customer: *shocked* “I… uh… What did you say to me?” Me: “Sorry, sir, I didn’t recognise you. Can I have your loyalty card, please?” (The customer hands over his card and I scan it.) Me: “Okay, thanks for that, Mr. [Customer]. As manager of this store, I inform you that you are no longer welcome on-site for displaying threatening behaviour. Now, f*** off before I call security.” (My staff stood there with jaws open as he turned and left the store. I updated his loyalty account with details of his banning. One of my team used his “f*** off” the next week on a group of teenagers who were trying to jimmy our shelving racks. We have one staff member with one left; he reckons he’s saving his for Christmas.
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Dec 2, 2019 10:25
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https://twitter.com/peytnhaag/status/1229622032360493056?s=20
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Feb 19, 2020 03:21
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sigh of relief, with a hint of a giggle
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May 10, 2020 14:27
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What's a cowboy beard?
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May 13, 2020 17:08
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Sep 2, 2020 00:36
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https://www.facebook.com/91377147531/posts/10157800582362532/ It's gaining massive amounts of traction.
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Sep 3, 2020 23:24
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 True, mechanics can be sexist pigs. But shouldn't a chief mechanic of formula one be taking her car to people she knows?
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Oct 15, 2020 19:09
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"he seemed to have explored child sitting services and none were available" What kind of robots write this stuff? Content: 
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Feb 25, 2021 16:10
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Mar 9, 2021 06:13
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